• Published 14th Aug 2020
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Interviews With Equestrians - Jmaster49



A look inside the hidden perspectives of the average pony by your average joe. Starting with the imprisonment of Cozy Glow, this pony sets out to expose the hidden problems of Equestria that its residents have a right to know.

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Subject 61: Case Closed...For now

“...Guilty of treason, underhooved tactics, and insubordination. He will immediately be sentenced to a permanent stay in one of our dungeons. If you show good behaviour, you may be entitled to rehabilitation.”

Much to my surprise, he seemed rather content with this arrangement. Too content if you ask me. “Hmph. Fine. If that’s what you wish to do, then I have no right to object,” he responded ever so casually, “but know that your decision will come to affect you in ways that--”

Twilight was just about done with him as the rest of us in the room. “Silence!” she shouted, “Flash Sentry. Gallus. Take him to his cell.”

“On it,” the pegasus replied.

“Yes ma’am,” said the griffon.

Both of them flew into the air and grabbed a hoof of the unicorn. He was promptly carried out of the courtroom. But before he left, he turned and shot me a threatening glare.

This wasn’t over.

“Dismissed,” Twilight gave the final word, and left her throne.

Everyone started to get up, and leave the room, but before I could do so, my name was called.

“Pale, could you join me for a second?” Twilight said my name as she trotted towards a door that led out of the throne room.

I followed her, curious as to what she could want from me. “What’s going on?”

She didn’t answer right away. Once we entered the door and left the throne room, she silently escorted me through the halls and up a familiar staircase. I remember this one. It would take us to the room where she and I had spoken privately a few times by now.

Once there, she locked the door, and checked the windows. “This is a diversion,” she said as she used her magic to close the blinds.

“Wait, what?”

“Come on, you don’t think I’m a fool, do you?” Twilight said with a smug sort of smile, “I know that once those boys put him away, Neighsay will already be plotting a way to escape.”

I blinked once, twice. “You really think he would defy you so readily.”

The princess merely scoffed it off with a wave of her hoof. “Ya-right. Like he totally hasn’t defied us all as it is.”

“...fair point,” I replied. Couldn’t argue with that logic. “So what did you call me here for?”

“Well, first thing’s first,” she responded and grabbed her notebook with her magic, “Sweetie Drops has informed me that you’ve accepted the task to investigate the Kirin and find out why you were attacked by one.”

Hm? Oh yes. The princess had jurisdiction over the agencies. Although, she rarely got involved with them herself due to the fact that she was busy with princess duties, and she knew that we were more than capable of handling whatever underground conflict occurs.

“That’s correct. Are Flim and Flam really part of SMILE again?”

She nodded. “Absolutely. They’ve given up their lives as swindlers and now own the hotel. After observing their actions for a few years, Sweetie Drops saw fit to let them back in on the condition that they give weekly reports.” The pages of the notebook fluttered as she controlled them with her levitation. “They’re actually extremely well-versed in field skills despite the hokey ponysonas they put on for their customers.”

Heh. Times were officially strange. “I see...thank you for the clarification, Twilight. So...what about Neighsay?”

“Aha!” When she finally found the page she was looking for, she stopped, and tapped it with a pencil. “Yes. I’ve already predicted the fact that Neighsay is going to break out, based on numerous factors. If that happens, you have my full authorization to take him down by any means necessary.”

Hold on a second. Was Princess Twilight actually for real? Not only did she know that Neighsay would already make another move, but she gave me complete authority on the matter as well? This had to be a joke.

“...wait a moment. Does that mean--”

Twilight cut me off, and leaned in close to my face with a stoic expression. “Any. Means. Necessary.” And she leaned back to look in her book once more. “Understand?”

Words could not describe how surprised I was. But what she said made sense. Twilight Sparkle was done being passive, and was now ready to adapt to any given situation with a proactive approach. I both respected, and encouraged it. “Absolutely, Princess. You have my full support. Is there anything else you need from me?”

“Nope,” she replied with a shake of her head, “go on to the Kirin’s Grove whenever you’re ready.”

“Got it. Oh wait--I nearly forgot--have the yellow brothers mentioned any details about Svengallop to you? They apparently have been interrogating some of his gang members.”

She sighed. “Nothing yet. That’s a whole ‘nother can of anchovies that we have to deal with. But you’ll be the first to know about it--alongside SMILE of course. Just make sure Coloratura doesn’t find out about this.”

I felt like I somewhat already knew the answer to the question I was about to ask. But I wanted to hear it straight from the pony’s mouth. “Understandable, but may I ask why?”

“If Rara finds out that her former manager is leading a bunch of gangponies, then she would have a breakdown.” Twilight sat down in one of the nearby bean bag chairs. Her cheeks rested on her hooves. “Dealing with that stallion for so many years was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of her life. If she’s made aware about it, she would start to feel guilty, and blame herself for it. Then Applejack would find out since they talk to each other all the time, and she’d try to go bust them up on her own.”

A very dangerous position to be in. Of course, I thought Twilight would put a bit more faith in one of her best friends. “Would it really be so bad?”

One of her ears flicked, and she sat upright. “Bad! Of course it’d be bad!” she cried out with her hooves pointed upwards while they wiggled like noodles, “Applejack would tear that gang a new one with no regard for herself! We’d have loads of injured, and possibly dead ponies that we couldn’t get any evidence out of. That’s not even mentioning whatever injuries she herself might sustain.which could cause Rara to feel even more guilty and--” she stopped herself mid-ramble, and cleared her throat. Twilight put her hooves down, and sighed once more. “...You kinda get the idea, yeah?”

When it was put like that, it was hard not to. “Absolutely. I will make sure neither of them are made aware of the finer details regarding that investigation. All Applejack knows is that Flim and Flam are officers, and that a Kirin was involved. Nothing more.”

“Good. Let’s keep it that way. I’ll be in contact with you if anything gets any worse. Anything else, Pale?”

I tipped my hat. “Nothing at all. Thank you, Twilight.”

Well that was far more constructive that I initially thought. But now, it was time for me to head back home, and get some rest. I suppose that I could plan ahead and set out for that kirin village in a few days. Of course Cozy would be there with me, but I needed someone to help me keep her safe in the relatively unknown area.

A few ideas already popped into my head, but it was time to relax and head home for the day. I took the train out of Canterlot, and went back to my house in Ponyville.

I stepped through the door, and removed my vest and hat to set them on the rack. I closed the door behind me with a heavy exhale. It was a long ass day.

But it wasn’t over yet.

To my surprise, I had a rather unannounced visitor that was already in my home. I could tell because I could smell something from the kitchen. Hm. Curious. With light hooves, I snuck up to the kitchen and poked my head in to find out just who came here.

“Oh, it’s you.”

That elusive green earth pony mare with dreads had appeared in my house again. Not that I was upset or anything, but it was still odd. “Wassup, man?” she greeted me, “I’m working on dinner for ya.”

“...Huh. There’s no need for that. Please.”

That mellow look in her purple eyes unwavered. “Oh no, I wanna. It’s spaghetti with a red wheatgrass pasta sauce. I made it myself,” she frowned, “But I’m not bothering you am I?”

I shook my head. I guess it couldn’t hurt to simply not worry about a meal for a change. “Not at all. I appreciate it, Tree.”

Her dopey smile returned. “Cooolio. Now sit at the table, brah.”

I left the kitchen, and washed my hooves. I had to admit, I was very interested in what she had made. Though, part of me wondered if Cheerilee had actually put her up to this. Hm.

I took a seat at my dinner table. A massive plate of the pasta covered in red sauce had waited for me. “Huh. This looks good!”

Tree Hugger took a seat next to me with a plate of her own. “Go on. Try it. Be honest about how it tastes.”

Side note--not being able to manipulate forks was annoying. I leaned into the plate, and slurped up a bit of the pasta. The flavors were otherworldly to say the least. “Mmm…” I had never tasted anything like it before. And I was from Manehattan where pasta was a common dish. “This is spectacular. The use of wheatgrass really compliments the mushrooms for an ‘earthy’ sort of bite. And is that...pimentos I taste?”

The whole time, she stared at me to ensure I had an honest bite. The smile on her face grew marginally wider with her eyes lighting up ever so slightly. “Yoooo...ya caught it. I’m glad,” she said before she started to eat from her own plate.

I continued to eat also, but stopped halfway through. “What gives, Tree? What made you wanna surprise me in such a way?”

The mare sighed. “Okay...you like Cheerilee, yeah?”

That was an odd question. I tilted my head. “Romantically? More or less, yes. You were the first one privy to the details, in fact. Why do you ask?”

“Well, I’m like, completely convinced that nopony’s gonna like me like you guys like each other. So I decided to see how well I can at least catch your attention. Cheerilee suggested I make you something other than brownies. So here we are.”

My heart sank at her explanation. Did she really have no self-esteem? I had no idea how to respond at first. “I...see. Well...don’t beat yourself up. I like you for who you are, Tree.”

Her smile didn’t go away. “That’s radical to hear. I don’t have many friends since almost everypony considers me weird or strange. But not you and Cheerilee or Fluttershy. So thanks for that.”

Well that gave me a slight amount of comfort. The knowledge that Tree Hugger had individuals to support her made me happy. Hm, I wondered if she’d do the same in return? “Hey Tree?”

“Yeah? Wassup?”

“Do you think there’s a way we can achieve peace as a society? I ask this because your entire motto is focusing on tranquility and whatnot. But have you ever wondered if it’s possible for everypony to put down their weapons and hear each other out?”

After a moment of thought, she shook her head. “Nah, brah. Tranquility is about finding your own idea of peace. It’s like, impossible for everypony to think like me. Then we’d all be weirdos with no friends, haha.”

That self-deprecation was not going to fly in my house. “Stop that. You have plenty of friends who like you. Don’t you dare change, Tree. Okay?”

“I was pulling your stump, man,” she replied with a smile, “Thanks, though. I’m hoping you and Cheerilee have a good life together. You deserve each other.”

“Thank you.” I couldn’t help but feel flattered. This meal was just what I needed, and Tree Hugger had unknowingly given me some good advice on what I should do next regarding my case.

When I finished eating, I took both of our plates and washed them in the sink. Then I went and laid down on the couch in the living room to relax my mind. It was too early to fall asleep, so I didn’t go to my bed.

And in yet another example of her apparent strangeness, Tree Hugger decided to lie right atop me. But I couldn’t sense any malicious intent within her. No, instead she simply asked, “Mind if I rest with ya, brah? Your energy is all tense and stuff.” The mare rested her ear against my neck.

I was surprised by this, but I didn’t see any harm in it. “Um...no problem?” As weird as it was at first, I could feel my stresses as they slipped away thanks to the humming of Tree Hugger. It was a nice feeling, being able to engage in a sort of dual-meditation.

“Ohhhmmm--neeeee….”

Heh. Very nice indeed.

“Think Cheerilee would mind if we--”

I already knew what she wanted to ask, so I cut her off. “Hey, that’s up to her, not me.”

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