• Published 14th Aug 2020
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Interviews With Equestrians - Jmaster49



A look inside the hidden perspectives of the average pony by your average joe. Starting with the imprisonment of Cozy Glow, this pony sets out to expose the hidden problems of Equestria that its residents have a right to know.

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Subject 19: Griffonslaught

We worked our way down the back alley. Around and behind various buildings. Something rubbed me the wrong way about all this. I felt...cold, and distant towards the darkness of these concrete streets. Like a rat back in his old hole that he had left behind years ago.

Compared to Babs who--well, she seemed rather confident as she strutted down the alleyways in her leather jacket. “Man, you’d think the trash ponies woulda done they’s jobs by now.”

“I think they might be afraid to come down here…” I noted as we passed through more buildings. As we did, we heard more couples argue and more loud noises. It was amazing how crass these ponies could be. “I know I would.”

“Feh, no ya ain’t. But I guess das fair. Seein’ as trash duty don’t getcha paid very well. Don’t wanna be a witness to some sorta crime and get ya nuts busted. But I just don’t want folks afraid to come visit my shop is all.”

I sighed and wondered about all of my options for my next move. Hopefully Neon would relay us some information soon, so we could--

“Listen up, chaps.”

Babs and I nearly freaked out at his sudden reappearance. He hung upside-down from a nearby balcony. “Can you please be a little less abrupt?”

“No time for that. I’m picking something up in the middle of the city near Madison Mare Garden. They mentioned Blood Viper.”

Babs perked up, “That’s right where muh hair salon is! We betta get ova there!”

“Halt, Babs,” I suggested, “we need to be tactical about this. This isn’t like our schoolyard brawls from long ago.”

“Hey, ya don’t think I can handle myself or somethin’?”

The mare had a deadly frown on her face. One that hid just how dangerous she could be. “...No. Not at all.”

Neon cleared his throat to get our attention, “If you lot are done bucking around, you can follow me. Let’s move,” and he swooped back into the night sky in the direction of where he heard the voices.

Babs and I ran after him. The cover of all the noise in the surrounding area kept us protected from being spotted. We had to cross a street, and came upon the block that contained Babs’ hair salon. From on high, I caught a glimpse of Neon’s wings.as they flapped seamlessly against the night sky.

At last, he perched on a building at the far end of the block. His ears flicked to and fro, with the occasional use of his sonar. That’s when he found it.

“I think that’s where it is. Babs, get behind me. This could get dangerous…” I commanded her as I slipped into the alley behind this building. It was much quieter over here than it was near her old home.

She followed, and slipped behind me. Once she got a good feel for the building, she tilted her head. “Dinah?”

“You can tell ponies are eating in there?”

“I’ve been to this place before. Horseapplebee’s I think.”

That’s when Neon dropped down to meet us. “What’s the plan, Captain?”

Before I could say anything, Babs gave her suggestion, “I’mma head in dere and see what’s what?”

“...What? Are you mad? That is--”

“Not a bad idea,” the bat stallion interrupted, “Think on it, Captain. If she’s familiar with the place, then they’d accept her more easily.”

“Yeah,” Babs agreed with a flip of her mane, “and I’mma pretty mare. Ain’t nopony gonna resist muh charmin’ style, yo.”

I felt concerned, but given what I knew that she was capable of, I put those concerns to rest. The mare could take care of herself, and she had us nearby in case anything went wrong. So I nodded. “Alright then...get in there and see what you know. But if you hit trouble...we’ll be there.”

“Pfft. Trouble my flank, why don’tcha? I’ll be fine,” she said with a confident strut out of the alley and onto the sidewalk. She turned and left from our line of sight as she rounded the corner to enter the establishment.

Inside...

It was a quiet, and nearly empty place. Only a small handful of stallions were inside. Mostly at the bar to have drinks.

Babs felt no shred of fear as she stepped in. Of course, a well-groomed mare that entered the place at this hour naturally turned some heads, but they all swiftly went back to minding their own business.

She took a seat at the far end of the bar, a hefty smirk across her face as she shot a look to some of the stallions on the other end. Another stallion, the barkeep, approached her.

“What’ll it be, miss?”

“Sparklin’ wata,” she knew it was silly, but Babs refused to consume alcohol. It was bad for her muscles and her appearance.

The unicorn bartender raised an eyebrow, but didn’t question it. With his magic, he poured her a glass and set it before her.

“Thanks, bub,” she responded with payment of a few bits. She sipped the glass and sat casually with her legs crossed.

The other patrons felt a bit awkward all of the sudden. As if Babs’ presence had altered the scene in a way they didn’t like.

“Heh,” she thought to herself, “musta been discussin’ somethin’ that they didn’t want anypony to hear. Let’s see how long it takes before I get kicked out.”

True enough, after a few minutes, one of the stallions--a pegasus came up to her. “Hey, miss. What brings you here so late?”

“Eh, just wanted a drink, yo. Been workin’ like a horse non-stop. Just wanted some relief, ya feel me?”

He chuckled, “Heh, if it’s relief you want, then I think you’re in luck, lady.”

“I hope this is the right way to be flirtin’.” “Aw for real, bro? You think you can help me?” Babs stretched her legs, with her usual cocky expression. “Sorry, but I don’t think ya could handle me.”

Her efforts seemed to work so far. The stallion was certainly entertained. “Hey, we won’t know until I try, right?”

“I just got one teensy, fava,” Babs would put on her best attempt at an eye-flutter.

“Oh? And just what might that be, hun?”

“I needs ya to tell me if ya heard of the Blood Vipa,” she answered with a hint of a plea in her voice, “All the toughest dudes in da city know about him.”

He hesitated, but seemingly went for it, and sat closer to her. “Oh? You know about it, eh? I can do more than just tell you, hun. I can show you….for the right price.”

“Blech,” she threw up mentally at the idea of dating someone so easily fooled, “But hey, if it works, it works…” “What kinda price we talkin’? I’m willin’a pay anything for this hot info.”

Success. Her intimidation capabilities worked perfectly. The pegasus stallion was already willing to listen. His friends nearby took note of the situation, and made eye contact with each other to relay silent messages.

“Why don’t I take you downstairs…” he offered, and walked to a door that led to some steps.

Babs accepted the offer and followed with a bit of an exaggerated sway in her step. She wanted to show she meant business. “Thanks, suga. I’ll be payin’ ya nicely for dis.”

They traveled down the steps to another door. The previous one had been locked behind them now. The stallion shot Babs a smirk as he pushed the door open. Behind it was a room. In that room were various tables in which Griffons were playing card games.

Babs looked around with awe. Griffons? Here? Crazy… “Woah mama...whadda we have here?”

The yellow pegasus trotted ahead, “I’ll go ahead and explain to the boss what you’re here for. Then we can discuss your payment later.”

She nodded and decided to play it cool. The brown earth pony leaned against the wall, and winked at a few of the patrons that did notice her. But they ultimately paid her no mind.

The pegasus would return moments later. Behind him was a rather large griffon with a set of jet black feathers. He had on a white suit with a red tie and a matching white fedora. “And just who might you be?”

“Nopony special,” Babs answered as she studied the appearance of who was likely the boss, “I just wanted to see about joinin’ ya. I can do anythin’ ya ask, big pops.”

“Anything?” The griffon raised an eyebrow, “and just what makes you think we’ll trust you so readily?”

She flicked her mane, “Would an untrustworthy gal come up in here with a poorly done mane? ‘Sides, I got access to lotsa products ya could sell.”

“Oh really? And just what do you have to offer?”

“An empiya,” she walked up to him, and bumped his side with her flank, “an empiya of technical mahvels that ya can’t even comprehend, pops. And maybe somethin’ more...personal if ya catch muh drift.”

“Hm…perhaps we could make use of someone like you. But just what are you after, miss?”

That’s when Babs chose to play her card, “I want in on ya business. Specifically, the Blood Vipa stuff.”

The various conversations happening around the room came to a halt for a few seconds. The secret codeword had been uttered. Idle chatter would resume, and the griffon beckoned her to follow him to another room.

Babs did just that, and observed just how fast everyone’s heads had turned. She was taken to a more secluded office where the griffon had various items on shelves nearby. “What do you know about the griffons, my dear?”

“Admittedly...not much.”

“I see...at any rate, you should know that we’re in dire straits as of late. We heed no ruler or king. And we are at constant odds with each other. Lord Gruff hasn’t done much to keep us together either.”

“Uh..huh. And what’s this gotta do with the bat dudes?”

He sighed, “They offered a way to help us...in exchange for a relic that could bring about the return of our true King, we intend to give the batponies in Hollow Shades a relic that could assist in recovering theirs,” he pulled out a red gemstone that was attached to a necklace he wore beneath the suit.

She nodded, and made mental notes for later, “So what can I do for ya?”

“You? It’s simple...act as a waitress during the day, and hang around for the guys at night. We could really use the extra hooves.”

The mare blushed and started to stutter. “Woah...hold on, pops…I don’t think...” “Oh hell naw...no way am I doin’ that.”

But the griffon insisted. “Oh no, no. Anyone who knows the code word must be in service of the group. It’s how we operate.”

“Yeah...I don’t think this operation is for me,” Babs chuckled nervously. Now was a good time to make her exist and get the help of the guys.

The griffon boss’ eye twitched. The thought of someone leaving him so fast was damning. “...No. No one who has this much knowledge can be allowed to roam freely on the streets. If you don’t wish to comply, then I’ll have no choice but to keep you here by force.”

His words fell on deaf ears. The mare had already exited, and went back to the room with the card tables.

“STOP HER!”

Outside…

I sighed. The wait was brutal. Just what could Babs be going through right now?

“Relax, mate,” Neon comforted me with a nudge as we sat on a bench nearby, “she’s a tough cookie. I could see it in her eyes.”

CRASH!

Neon and I both jumped. The entire wall to the establishment had a hole blown through it by force. Bricks and pieces of the wall flew into the street. Once the dust cleared, I was horrified at what I saw.

Babs had been tossed clear across the street and into a neighboring alley wall. The earth pony mare shook it off rather quickly, I admit. “Heh! Is that all ya got? Boys, get ova here!”

We both rushed to Babs’ side. I’d have checked for injuries, but she seemed as cocky as ever. So more than likely she was fine. From the hole in the wall came more pressing matters, though.

A huge griffon dude, followed by a pair of his griffon bodyguards had appeared. “Get her! She can’t be allowed to escape!”

“Who’s this?” I asked the mare, “A friend of yours?”

“Somethin’ like that. Turns out dis place is full of a buncha pervs!”

The griffon noticed the batpony among them, “What are you doing here? We’re trying to help your kind!”

“Are ya takin’ the piss, mate?” Neon stretched his mechanical limb. Wait a second, was there more to it than just a mere prosthetic? “I’m not sure what you’re talkin’ about.”

The griffon held up a glowing red crystal in his claw, “Your family has promised us a relic that could potentially bring back our king in exchange for this which could bring back theirs. Don’t interfere with our plans,” he put it back in his shirt, and snapped his claw-fingers and the other two griffons pulled out crossbows.

“King...no...that’s too dangerous!”

I looked at Neon, “Just who is he talking about?”

“I’ll explain later, friend. For now, just focus on stealing that crystal.”

Babs cricked her neck, “I’mma head in first. Ya’ll back me up,” she said before she ran towards one of them. With a flying kick, she knocked the crossbow out of the left griffon’s claws, and delivered a devastating punch to his cheek. Guess they weren’t expecting us to actually fight back, and dropped their guard.

I followed her. Before the one on the right could properly shoot her, I charged him. With nothing but the sheer strength of my head, I sent him barreling back into the bar with a painful screech. I turned with a swift pivot and tried to sling a hoof at the boss griffon, but he caught me dead in my tracks with a claw.

“Not bad. Guess you’re not as inexperienced as you look.”

Babs meanwhile, had wrestled the other griffon to the ground, but she wasn’t attacking or beating the guy. Was she trying to reason with him, maybe?

I growled, and would’ve tried to bounce off of him with a kick, but it seemed he already thought of that. He moved back. I came up short in my attempt to land my legs on his chest, and he flung me into the nearby wall.

That’s when Neon would finally show his true colors. His fake leg pointed at the back of the lion-bird’s head, “Take a step, and your internals will hit the pavement.”

As I hit the floor, I took a closer look. Each of the pneumatic tubes that made up his fake appendage started to spin. Wait...was that the design developed by Richer Batling?

The griffon held up his claws, “What are you doing? I’m trying to help you and your kind!”

“Just hand it over, mate. I’ll see for myself if my ‘family’ wants to comply.”

With no other option, the griffon handed over the necklace with the crystal attached. “Gah. Fine. Show them yourself. But if we do not hear any compliance from them in one week, we will show no mercy.” He snapped his claw-fingers once more, and the griffon that I had tackled moments ago threw something at us that clattered to the floor of the diner.

“Flashbang!” Neon shouted as he swiped the gem, “Get down!”

We all covered our eyes as the flash went off. It took a while, but once it finally wore off, we took a look around. The griffons and the other pony patrons had left the place.

I rose to my hooves. First priority was to check and make sure the team was safe. “Is everyone alright?”

“Yeh,” Babs answered, “But I neva expected any griffons to appear here. Let alone runnin’ some kinda operation. And what’s with da crystal, anyways?”

“I’m not sure…but it feels...strangely familiar,” Neon said and gave it a gentle tap with his hoof. “GAh!” He recoiled and dropped it, to which I grabbed before it hit the ground.

“Neon! You okay?”

“I am, bruv. But when I touched that thing, it gave me a weird...sensation.”

Sensation? Strange. I was holding it right then and there, yet I felt nothing. Maybe this could come in handy for later. “Alright, hang on…maybe I can figure this out if I have Cork run some tests on it.” I slipped it into an evidence bag.

“Well, at least they gone for now,” Babs commented, “Looks like muh shop is gonna be safe. And oh yeah, turns out Blood Vipa is they code words for entry into their crew or somethin’. Was pretty weird, but I got through it with muh intimidation skills.”

So that was it. But just what was their angle here? I needed more time to think about this...bah, there’s never any damn time. “Alright...let’s all head back and regroup.”

We all exited the destroyed little diner until two stallions blocked our path. Crystal ones.One red, one green. That’s right...because the Empire was in the North, they managed all of Equestria’s northern cities while the Southern ones were managed by Canterlot. Not many people knew, but it did make sense for Crystal Guards to be stationed here. Though, just why were they following me?

“Ey, can we help ya?” Babs stood in front of us.

The red one spoke first, “Yes. By decree of the highest order from Shining Armor. Pale Vestige is hereby summoned to meet with him tomorrow. If you are not in attendance, he will come retrieve you himself, and you will be placed under arrest. That is all.”

Then the green one, “And bring that red crystal thing with you.”

Babs blinked as they left right after delivering the message. “Wha…?”

I put a hoof on the mare’s shoulder, “Don’t worry. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Neon rolled his eyes. I could see it in his face. If it were up to him, he would’ve told them off in an instant. But now wasn’t the time. “Hmph. Let’s just get on home. Me joints are right tuckered.”

The mare stopped us, “Hold up, ya’ll can crash with me for tonight if ya want. This was actually pretty fun, so it’s the least I could do for ya. I got some guest rooms and plenty of food,” she offered with a grin.

I smiled, and tugged on the stoic bat friend of mine. “We appreciate that, BS. C’mon, Isotope.”

“Hm…”

We went back to her place and relaxed for the rest of the night. I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was entirely possible that those Crystal Ponies had been tracking us the entire time for the Prince. No matter. I’m sure he had his reasons as both a leader and a father. But the need for an arrest if I didn’t comply? That was suspicious…

I looked at the crystal I had placed in the evidence bag.

“What are you hiding?”

“Loads of secrets you are not ready to handle.”

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