Suddenly Apple Bloom finds herself on the moon. She was banished, accidentally. Now she has to deal with it somehow.
Chapters (3)
- Member Since 7th Mar, 2020
- offline last seen Monday
JPHyperX
I'm a German hobby author, who loves to write epic storys. Now I want to improve my English. https://www.deviantart.com/jphyperx
JPHyperX
Joined 7th Mar, 2020 ·
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Cute
I... Don't understand.
10378522
^^
10379128
What's unclear?
Later that day the officially founded the Equestrian Space Program to get her back.
Good premise so far.
I look forwards to see where it goes.
Okay, I have two possible scenarios about what happened here after she was banished:
1. Something wholesome. Probably involving magic.
2. She is already starting to go crazy. (Then she is in real trouble. Eating moon dust probably isn't healthy.)
About the song:
After reading title and description I actually heard "Lost On The Moon" in my head.
Okay, seltsame aber interessante Prämisse. Sowas in der Art habe ich noch nie gesehen (bis auf den Fiendship is Magic Comic über Nightmare Moon aber) nicht hier auf Fimfiction
Da du bei Runekeepers bei einem kritischen Kommentar geantwortet hast, dass du dir auch von deutschsprachiger Seite so etwas wünscht, möchte ich dem gerne nachkommen.
Das soll jetzt sicher nicht eine Geschichte werden, wo Apple Bloom die ganze Zeit Mondsandburgen baut und vor sich hinvegetiert, bis sie irgendwann gerettet wird, das soll die Sache mit Pear Butter und der Farm ja auch zeigen.
Ein bisschen viel Info in ein bisschen zu wenig Text gedrückt weshalb es ein bisschen fast paced wirkt. Aber bildlich vorstellen, was da gerade passiert, kann ich mir alle mal.
Mal sehen, wie es weitergeht, mein Like hast du.
10379839
I guess that will take a while. XD
Thanks^^
You're absolutely right on both counts.
Gee, I honestly didn't thought about that song a single bit. Thanks for remind me again. XD
The actual song from TSFH is leaned on the things she's building on the moon.
10380146
Ein deutsches Review auf Fimfiction, yaay :D
Hoffe du hattest nen schönen Urlaub.
Wie du vielleicht merkst, ist mir diese Geschichte rein spontan einfallen. Da bleibt mir nur die Entscheidung. Entweder bleibt es im Kopf oder es kommt raus. XD
Es wird auch eine eher kürzere Geschichte sein und ich schau mal, dass es dann sich doch nicht so gehetzt anfühlt^^
Es ist sicher sonnenklar, dass Apple Bloom Hallus bekommt! xD
Aber da ist natürlich noch mehr als das. Lass dich Überraschen^^
10379420
Her mother at the end, for one
Things are about to break apart...
I have an theory who might be this "someone".
Just how low could you sink, Nightmare?
All you can do is to scare helpless fillies, and you are even proud of it?
Only temporary or for good?
Good story!
I enjoyed reading it.
10391254
Yep, that was the most evil part of Luna.
Thank you for reading this story :)
I love the fact that she tried to send a rock signal. Similar to something that happened in my story.
Lullaby on the Moon
Anyways, this is not an English problem, but a physics problem. There is no sound in space due to there being no air.
Science stuff. However, in your story, you can have sound in space. I just wanted to tell you in case you didn’t know, for if you wanted to change the story a bit. It is fine to keep it, or change it. It’s up to you.
Also, I’ll be thinking about if there’s any English problems, and shall read the other chapters sometime.
10393262
Yeah, I thought she could use some time with that. Although she uses her secret special talent for crafting and building things.
Technically you're right about our moon. There is no air and AB couldn't survive for long. But I tent to say, the moon of Equestria has an atmosphere. Luna sat there for 1000 years anyway.
Thank you for reading it, and thinking about it. :)
Hello, a review of your story has been posted in the My Little Reviews & Feedback group. I hope you find it helpful.
I'm surprised this story isn't longer, considering your love of epic stories.
10410093
Yeah, I had to try something out, and it got a little short.^^'
But I will write on more storys, don't worry :)
A review of this story has been posted in Nailah's Reviewer Mansion: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/215274/nailahs-reviewer-mansion/thread/453188/review-apple-moon-by-jphyerx