Broken Fantasies
It actually made sense. Now I didn't understand half of it but it made sense. Every part a blueprint, every component an explanation. I had a blueprint that explained how it all actually WORKED. I had to look up every other word though, and it didn't help much. It was little more than a tablet built into my head, so it didn't have all the answers. I'm a tech specialist and a biologist, not a freaking archmage so how was I supposed to know what thaumatic polarity's are? If I learned how this all operated however, I could make some impressive things. I always did like making stuff, it felt good to create rather than destroy. I'd try not to make weapons but it was inevitable in my mind, engineering weapons of destruction was human nature. Learned that when all my carvings turned into Winchesters. The guys keeping an eye on me for the higher ups didn't take it too well. Lets hope when I do make a weapon it's for a good reason, and hope even more that reason is actually what said weapon was used on.
I studied it for who knows how long, completely oblivious to the things around me. I eventually got a headache or as some would say "rage quit". There was nothing simple about this stuff, might as well be in another language. Well actually it kinda was but that's beside the point. Snapping back to reality I found the dogs where once again marching, dragging me along. 'How did I miss that? They just start dragging me and I have no idea. How long have we even been walking?'
The sun was directly overhead. 'It's midday? Damn I was out of it. Guess I can't sleep either as I'm not tired and I haven't had a wink of sleep since getting here. Can't sleep and can't eat as I don't have a mouth...Or stomach.....well this sucks. I'm going to miss eating and the insomnia thing might drive me a bit crazy...crazier.'
The woods were far denser here, it didn't look like any ponies lived in this area. Something was off. The dogs grew restless and tense, not speaking as much as they used too. I had that bad feeling again, much, much worse. It's like someone replaced my equivalent of a spine with ice. We came over the hill and I finally saw our destination and with it something I wasn't expecting.
Bones.
Everywhere.
It was a huge circular clearing where no trees, or grass for that matter, would grow in leaving it barren. It's like all the plant life just stopped, as if the ground was salted. The center was where the horror was at its most at where appeared to be some sort of structure. The whole place felt wrong, from the scattered dead to the sickly brown of the dirt. It felt like the area was tainted. Corrupted.
The scattered remains where the worst part. I had seen death before among other things. Torture, blood, gore, rape, I was no stranger to horrific scenes of violence but this.... I was prepared all those times, knew it was coming. This is like walking into your house to find a murder scene. Old feelings, or a lack of them, returned as memories resurfaced.
I was frozen in inaction, not to ruse my captors but at the shock that such things existed here. Could this really be the Equestria and not some sick joke? If it was I urgently needed a talk with that women in the grey dress. I was no longer limp but rigid, thankfully my captors hadn't noticed, the pain coming off the area was all too evident. They dragged me past their trophy's, pony skulls impaled on spikes in the ground, bones arranged into rotting totems, even a whole skeleton crucified on a tree. Bones of various size and shape littered the ground.
Some of them where children's.
We arrived at the epicenter of the horror to find the entrance to a cave. Bones hanged down like curtains on string and two massive totems sat on either side of the caves entrance. I was still in a haze looking at the totems.
They must of took many lives to make.
They took me into their personal hell. Pulling me into the darkness of the cave.
The tunnel was dimly lit by torches on the cave walls, extruding from skulls as if simple mounts weren't enough. The walls where a uniform grey with gashes in the wall every couple feet, glowing an orange tinge in the torchlight. I was recovering from the shock when I realized I was shaking slightly but not out of fear, I no longer felt fear. The reality was much worse.
I was shaking in anger. I was fucking furious!
This wasn't good. Things got bad when I was just a normal human....semi-normal anyway. If I went berserk in here I might bring the whole place down on our heads. I needed to calm the hell down. I tried to do my breathing techniques only to realize I don't breath anymore which only worsened things. I closed my "eyes" and focused on staying calm, beginning to meditate. I reopen them after a few moments, there was no running from this. Whatever this was I would face it head on and end it, like I always have. It was one of the many promises I made to myself, ones I'd never break. I'd face this no matter what it was. To standby and let this continue any longer made me no better than the people committing the crime.
We rounded the corner into a larger cavern and I could literally feel myself starting to losing it. There where a few guards stationed around the area watching the slaves mine. The slaves where of multiple races but they all shared one aspect.
They looked dead inside. And afraid, very afraid. They looked like they had given up hope.
They were extremely emaciated and dehydrated as well as pale from lack of sunlight. I saw creatures of all ages present, family's doing their best to group together. Many of the pegasai and griffins wings where clipped, some missing their feathers entirely robbing them of the ability to fly. Their fur was patchy and ragged and they looked like they haven't bathed in months, many appeared to have lice or some other pestilence.
The sight really made my blood...circuits...you know what I mean, boil and any second the pressure would be too much. Then I heard something nobody can ignore. A child's scream.
There was a unicorn filly chained to the wall starring wide eyed at a diamond-dog with tears in her eyes, she had red markings across her body some bleeding. She had a teal blue coat and light brown mane, what was left of it anyway, and lacked a cutie mark. Her deep blue eyes where dilated in fear, she couldn't possibly be much older than the CMC. Her parents where struggling against the guards trying to get to her, A forest green stallion with cracked oval glasses and dark brown mane and a yellow mare with a teal button in her orange mane, desperation and fear displayed clearly on their faces.
With a *CRACK* followed by another scream I realized what was happening, they where publicly whipping a child. The dog had a twisted look of pleasure on his face as he raised the whip to strike again. Something shattered inside me at that moment and my vision blurred. Before anyone including myself could figure out what was happening there was the loud grinding sound of metal on metal followed by a sickening crunch. I found myself standing in front of the dog, a look of shock on his face and I returned his gaze. I looked down to find my right arm was buried in his chest, I had jabbed with such force it pieced his skin and ribs. Before I realized what I was doing I grabbed his heart and crushed it in my hand, a look of horror and pain on the dogs face. Light left his eyes and I yanked out my hand with a sickening squelching sound, everyone was too shocked or petrified to move but it was already too late. I was long gone, replaced with something that wasn't me yet was. I felt like a backseat driver to my own body, I felt like I wasn't in control.
I no longer cared for the well being of my enemies as I lunged at blinding speed and tore a dog in half clutching his arms and legs through shear strength, his being the first blood to coat the ground crimson in the torchlight. The other dogs broke from their daze some charging others running off to sound an alarm as I parried ones attack and snapped his neck with a kick to the throat, his hand reflectively reaching for his face as his neck erupted in blood from the impact. His comrade roared in vengeance only for me to grab his throat and lift him into the air then crushing his jugular in my fist causing an explosion of his life essence. I pined the third to the wall grabbing his jaw and tore it off making him howl in agony before throwing him to the ground with enough force to crack the ground beneath him and turning his head to paste with a decisive stomp.
In a matter of moments I was no longer grey but crimson, dead dogs laying in an arc in front of me 5 being my original captors mangled and broken in hideous ways. It wasn't a fight, it was a massacre. The remaining dogs that had come to reinforce huddled together shaking in fear at this demon, many begged for mercy or tried to surrender but I wouldn't listen. My arm morphed into the arm cannon using knowledge I've yet to discover and I let loose a volley of shots into their ranks, cremating large chunks of their body's leaving gaping chard holes. Stray shots strike the walls destroying the torches as screams echoed off the walls. Everything after that faded into haze.
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I found myself in darkness, standing with clenched fists.
'What? Where am I?' I thought as I unclenched my fists, unable to remember why I had in them clenched in the first place. They felt....sticky.
The only light was the dim glow coming off me and didn't help much in terms of visibility. I wondered what happened, there was the forest, then the clearing, then the cave but after that nothing. I was beginning to get worried as this was seeming far too familiar when I noticed shapes in the darkness. I felt a metaphorical pit in my stomach growing in size as I slowly approached the object as it started to take shape, noticing a wet smacking sound as I walked like the ground was wet with something that stuck to my feet. It was as I feared, it was a pile of dead diamond-dogs all horribly mutilated. The realization caused the glow to intensify lighting up the room more to revile the scene around me. Strong emotions seemed to make me glow brighter. I was surrounded with the dead, so much blood on the ground I could see my reflection in it.
'Oh god....... I did this didn't I?' Looking at my blood stained hands. 'I did this.'
I don't know how long I stood there but it felt like hours. I noticed a quite whimpering in the dark, turning to its source. There was the sound of a quickly drawn in breath followed by silence. It was holding it's breath I realized as it occurred to me that while I couldn't quite make them out, anything in the cave could see me clear as day. I walked to the nearby wall and grabbed one of the extinguished torches. It was all coming back now everything I did, I hadn't harmed the slaves but they bore witness to it all.
I willed my arm to turn back into the arm cannon and it obeyed. 'I used to think it was cool but now...' I focused some energy into the arm using the heat to kindle the torch relighting the room and allowing me to see the entire scene. Including all the slaves huddled together trying to sink into the wall they where all backed against still chained making them unable to escape. We just starred at each other neither uttering a word. Me looking at the fear in their eye's and them looking at me with a torch in one hand and the weapon they witnessed kill over a hundred diamond dogs in the other.
I won't ever forget the way they where all looking at me. It wasn't that different from the looks I got back when I was still employed.
I looked to where I heard the whimpering at and saw the unicorn filly still chained to the wall going wide eyed as I looked at her. Her once teal coat now had a few small splatters of blood and had paled significantly. I did all that in front of a child. Her parents where chained like the others and it was too short for them to get to her, much to short in fact. They where looking at me in a similar fashion to the others however they where not huddled to the group like them, but as close to their little girl as they could get. I started to walk towards the filly, the eyes of both her and her parents growing impossibly small both sides struggling against the chains that held them. The others just watched and I didn't slow down despite their panic. They struggled, looking at the chains in dismay until the filly looked up when the sound of my steps stopped and all three of them froze when they saw I was less than two feet from her, towering over her small form. She was too petrified to even breath looking up at me as the whole room fell still. My arm cannon retracted back into my normal arm and I slowly reached out my hand to her but stopped when I heard her mother speak.
"P-please.... d-d-don't..." Her voice was shaky, full of despair. I glanced over to see tears in her eyes flowing like waterfalls, her father wasn't doing much better. They both honestly thought I was going to kill her. I don't blame them honestly. I just murdered who knows how many dogs in front of them.
I hesitated a moment longer before continuing much to their horror. I grabbed one of the cuffs and with a squeeze crushed it freeing her left hoof. They seamed surprised by my actions as I slowly did the same to the other cuff, freeing her. She collapsed but I caught her before she hit the ground, receiving a sharp intake of breath from the parents. I cradled her in my arm ignoring their looks as I examined her, her legs where badly hurt and I doubted she could stand on her own so I decided to carry her instead. There was still fear in their expressions but now also confusion which was refreshing. I turned to her parents and closed the gap between us. The steps echoed far too much, the silence was unsettling when I usually found it consoling. We looked at each other a moment before I held out their daughter to them, both quickly snatching her up and giving her the most heartwarming hug ever. Of all time. It actually melted my cold heart a little. Tears were now falling from all three and I decided to let them have their moment, I didn't deserve to be around it.
I approached the other slaves as they scrambled to get away, my arm morphing into the arm cannon. They looked in horror as I raised it and shut their eyes as I fired. Rather than hear a scream after the blast they heard only silence, opening their eyes only to get a dumbstruck look on their faces as they saw the chains holding them blown to pieces and me walking away my arm cannon safely retracted. The three where done now but the filly was still trying to bury herself in her moms coat still sobbing quietly. They hadn't seen me approach so I startled them when I crouched. I reached my hand out and while hesitant they didn't interfere as I grabbed their cuffs freeing them like the other slaves.
"You are free." my monotone voice catching them and the other slaves off guard if the looks of shock where any indication. They obviously surprised to hear me speak. "Take the other slaves and escape this place. You have your daughter back but if you don't go now you might not for long."
"A-a-actually no." The father said as he regained some composer. "Y-you took c-care of a-all....."
"You mean... I killed them all? All of them?"
"A-almost all. The Alpha and his guards are still.... a-a-alive." struggling with that last particular word.
The Alpha "Is he responsible for all this?" My question sounded more forceful then I intended.
"Y-y-yes" he stuttered but then his fear was replaced with something else, something I could relate to. "He's kidnapped and killed thousands. He's a heartless murderer who tortures his slaves and victims until they scream for his pleasure. He's a monster." His voice was laced with anger and spite.
'That's all I needed to hear.' I made eye contact with him, he flinched even though I lacked eyes apparently able to feel my gaze, and took a commanding tone. "It changes nothing, get everyone out safely. You have a daughter to protect." I said as I turned and walked away.
"Are you going to kill him?" With concern strangely in his voice. Guess it's just pony nature.
I stopped "....Yes." After a moment I continued "It is necessary. You know this. Do you not wish him punished for his deeds?"
"Of coarse I do! It's just.... couldn't you just capture him instead and stand trial in the equestrian courts for what he's done instead?"
"No. He's too dangerous. He deserves no trial, it ends now. Now go! I won't tell you again." He and the others looked horrified, but didn't object as I disappeared down a tunnel. They where naive but that is to be expected. I had no such luxury, but I wouldn't let them learn the lesson like I had.
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You can't escape your fate. I realized that a long time ago.
Even here in another dimension my past follows me. It always would. Here I was walking through a dark tunnel to kill an high priority target yet again. I was pissed. More pissed than I have been in a long time. I was so happy to come here only for reality to slap me in the face. I was starting to think that was it's pass time. I thought coming here would change things, evidently not. It would never end. I'd die on the battlefield, always find a cause to fight for. Is it bad I'm used to it? Like if a dog gets beaten enough it gets used to it? Should I try to change it?
No.
I am a soldier. Always will be. Like my fathers before me.
I was the one they depended on. The one who did what was necessary to get the job done. The one who pulled the trigger. The one who pushed the button. The one others feared. I was the one who gave the order. The one who was sent on suicide missions, spec-ops, or other less than morally stable missions because I was the only one who could do it. They thought my empathy problems meant I wouldn't be effected by such brutality. They thought my inability to feel emotion made me a better soldier. They made me do the hard stuff because they didn't have it in them to do it themselves. They didn't think I cared.
I did. I am directly responsible for 7,147 deaths. I am indirectly responsible for 13,462 deaths. Out of all the deaths 4,361 where civilians. I counted every one. I read every one of the names. The ends didn't justify the means, not by a long shot. No number of innocent lives, no matter how small, was acceptable. So why did I do it? Because I was the only one who could. Because I am directly responsible for saving 2,379 innocent civilians. I read their names as well. I am indirectly responsible for saving countless others.
I was a killer. A murderer. A soldier. I didn't care though. I didn't care about the looks I'd get. The pain. The guilt. I didn't care they where all terrified of me or that they thought I was a monster. I didn't care how they avoided my gaze or me altogether. I didn't care what they thought of me.
They where safe, that's all that mattered. What happened to me or how I felt wasn't important. I am what I am by choice. I willfully chose to carry the world on my shoulders. I chose to be a monster. I do what is necessary despite morality's input.
That is the fate I chose for myself.
I didn't hesitate in the least as I kicked open the Alphas door.
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The massive iron door flew like tin across the room landing on one of the dogs, crushing him.
The other dogs including the Alpha froze on the spot looking at what had defeated their whole force.
I took the time to glance around the room. It was far too open than necessary and covered in pointless treasures that shone in the torchlight. Valuable metals such as gold, platinum and others haphazardly covered the room. His bed, most likely stolen, had a gold frame embossed with jewels and was far larger than was needed. To my right was a huge pile on gems stacked to the ceiling and an ornate chest that obviously contained valuables. I was only when he saw me looking at the chest that the Alpha spoke up.
"Stay away from my shinnies demon!" I shifted my gaze to him in response and he seemed to visibly shrink. I'd seen the likes of him before, a coward who used others to get what he wants. He probably only got to became Alpha by succession, using his title to inspire fear when he held no real power.
"Stop standing! attack!" he screamed at his three remaining guards. Don't mind if I do. The largest one charged only to receive a roundhouse to the jaw sending him spiraling into the bed shattering it into tiny pieces. The alpha bellowed in outrage at his now wreaked bed as the others chose to, surprise surprise, actually use tactics and flank me on either side. I just stood there like nothing was going on much to their irritation. It was actually the stance I usually took, a normal relaxed standing position to catch my foes off guard. They jump at me weapons raised to strike when I back flipped out of the way causing them to collide with one another. grabbing their heads I slammed them together followed by pile driving both their skulls into the ground hard enough to leave cracks in it. The Alpha looked like he couldn't believe what just happened. I began walking towards my target.
"Stop! Do you know who I am! I am....." was about how far he got before I backhanded him into the adjacent wall. I wasn't in the mood for cartoon villain monolog cliches. He held his cheek and withdrew his hand to see it stained red and looked blankly at the blood on it as if he couldn't comprehend It. He must of thought himself invincible until today.
"Enough." My voice was hollow and lacked emotion. People often told me how terrifying I was when I was angry, said that my voice got a physical force to it when I did. I had actually used it on my superiors and reduced them to whimpering husks when they proposed to carpet bomb a village that wasn't fully evacuated yet. I actually always talked in a whisper that just sounded like normal speech, I had a deep and very loud voice. Even on a helicopter people heard me clearly. My voice seemed to still have its effect because it shook what little ego he had left right out of him, promptly shutting him up. I grabbed him by the throat and lifted him four feet off the ground, he struggled uselessly at my grasp. "I am your judge, jury, and executioner and you will be silent. I charge you with murder, slavery, torture, abduction, and abuse. Do you argue these crimes?" His face lost all color. Whether it was fear or lack of air I didn't know, probably both. "Then I find you guilty. Your punishment is death for that is all you deserve." He didn't even have time to scream as I broke his neck. I dropped his useless carcass on the floor unceremoniously and lifted my hand to my face. I made a fist and extended my pointer and middle finger strait up in the symbol I always made after a kill or an extreme moment. It was out of respect for taking a life, not for the particular life, and to collect my thoughts. Similar to when one makes a cross on their chest to ward off demons.
I stood like that for one minute exactly before proceeding to claim my spoils or "lootz" as I used to call them from the chest like the true gamer I was. The prospect of new toys brightened my mood a bit, also killing that ass helped. Ya know they always asked why I was so good at shooters, the answer was I played Quake before they slowed it down and I had IRL experience. Never told em what I meant by that. But I digress, the chest had a few trinkets none of very much interest until I reached the bottom at least. A large chunk of a unrefined metal I couldn't identify sat at the bottom giving off a faint glow, it was a dark bluish grey. I lifted it in my hand and felt a small jolt when I did so followed by a strange sensation I could only describe as a small stream flowing into you and dissipating. My suit identified it as the same stuff that was in my core and powered the runic engine although while it was 100% pure this was still unrefined and getting a metal totally pure is a difficult process.
There was also a small bag inside the chest and judging by it being in this chest it was definitely more than a bag. putting the ore down which I was definitely keeping I put my hand inside the bag...and in....and in... until it was at my shoulder. 'A hammer-space.... sweet.' I peered into the bag and while not infinite as I could see the bottom it was still huge. If I had a mouth I would be grinning. I put the ore into the bag as well as a healthy amount of bits if I recall what they're called and many of the small trinkets, moneys only money but I figure the slaves could use a jump start and one trinket each appeared to be more than enough to get 'em going. As I grabbed some gems I noticed a small alter I hadn't noticed. On it sat a large blue gem that appeared to have swirling smoke inside it and emitted a low glow. When I reached for it a small shock jumped from the crystal to my hand, I withdrew it reflexively. 'That was kinda shocking..... I should be slapped for that.' Suspiciously I reached again but no shock came this time, as I held it in my palm I noticed it was no longer glowing. I sensed magic within the crystal but it was in very small amounts and wasn't giving magic like the ore. Focusing some magic into the gem had an interesting effect, that is it suddenly arcing with electricity, I nearly dropped it in surprise. I was definitely keeping this, whatever it was. I put the bag with all my new goodies in my storage compartment before waltzing out the room like I owned the place. I only really did this kind of stuff when I was alone. I recalled the compartment on the way to the Alphas "impenetrable" bunker. It was a small compartment to hold valuables, ammo, and other things. It wasn't that big but now that I had something with a hammer space that didn't matter much. I willed it to open much like the arm and it came in useful. It's worth pointing out while the bag saved room it sure as hell didn't reduce weight, it felt every bit as heavy as the horde inside.
I was getting rather sick of these caves at this point and made my way to the entrance. I needed to check on the ex-slaves to see if they where all OK. I took inventory on the way, It turns out going crazy can be draining. According to my energy levels I used up about a forth my maximum energy and I was regaining it at about 1% a minute. Using the arm cannon appears to be costly thing to use but from what I could remember from the massacre I did shot a lot of shots so not that costly, however you didn't have infinite bullets on the battlefield either so it's even. Guess the intensity mattered as well, and yes I'm talking about charge shots. I would need an alternative, the arm cannon fit under the "only if necessary" file as would any destruction magic I learned if I could. I needed a way to fight other than my fists. I needed a weapon, the thought made me internally smile, making one is going to be a exiting experience. I wonder what it will be. I need to start some blueprints. I reached the original cave where I went beast as I finished my thoughts and was thankful I didn't have a nose looking at all the body's. My mood darkened looking at them, so much for my victory high. They couldn't of all been bad, they didn't deserve this like the alpha. In my foolishness I failed to learn why they needed slaves in case it wasn't for the obvious reason. I solemnly lifted a torch off the wall. Might as well get this over with.
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Fire bellowed from the cave, fueled by the body's of the dead. The intense heat caused the caves to destabilize and collapse and in a few minuets as I watched the whole thing caved in smothering the flames and burying what was left of the dead. Improvised grave/cremation. The ex-slaves where nowhere to be found, having left in a haste. But they left plainly visible tracks in the dirt not thinking of the possibility of pursuers. Following them was the best course of action at the time so I crouched and settled into a moderate pace silent trot that the natives had taught me while I was in Brazilian amazon. They made marines look like they where covered in pots and pans. As I stalked through the forest It brought back fond memories of other forests I visited in the past. The wilderness always made me feel at peace, I could easily survive out here on my own without any human contact. I was tempted a few times.
I enjoyed the hunt, as a boy I would take every chance I could to go hunting. I liked the forest, the trees, the silence, the isolation. I learned everything I could about the woods, even as a kid I loved biology. I was a survivalist expert before I even entered the army. I always found my quarry, stalking was second nature even as a boy. It sometimes freaked people out because I was constantly sneaking up on people unintentionally, it was hard to turn off reflexes. They even put a bell on me once as a bet, but much to my amusement I moved too smoothly to make it ring so then they accused me of teleporting. As I moved through the forest, the only sound was my own thoughts and the sound of falling leaves. I didn't make a sound much to my relief, I was worried my new body would make noise but I was still stalker supreme. Even when I found my prey out hunting I rarely shot, I preferred to observe instead and practice my stealth techniques, no need for senseless killing. I once got five feet from a deer without it knowing from right in front of it's nose. That was when I was 19 before the military. Now I'm 37 and have traveled the world tracking humans in hazardous environments of all kinds, including arctic tundra. Needless to say, there was a reason my call sign was "Wraith". They always where shocked with my age though, they said I looked 26 rather than 37. Had I given a crap for appearances I might of cared.
According to the sun it took me about three hours to find them, that is if equestria runs on a 24 hour time frame. It would of been shorter had I not stopped at a river to clean myself. Strolling into camp covered in blood = bad idea. Also it's hell trying to hide in it. I stayed out of sight, I didn't want to make them restless with my presence just yet. Things had settled down and some of them seemed to have medical experience so I did what I did best, I watched and waited. When they where all asleep and in good order with a few sentry's out to my relief I moved silently to a tree 30 yards out from their encampment and as I couldn't sleep decided to meditate getting in lotus position. I found it wise to reflect on one's day at its end and judging by this day it was going to be a long night. As I reviewed when I went berserk I felt a powerful tug on my chest followed by the strange feeling of being yanked out of one's body, at least that's what it felt like. That was the first time I met the one who sent me here or as I now know to call her, my sponsor.
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This story interests me. You have a fav.
you sir are AWSOME. i really like the story so far and i really hope you write more
plus the armor is really cool as well
I immediately downvoted this without looking at it, sadly. I just don't look at stories with spelling and grammatical errors in the frickin' description. Seriously, make your story look professional, or else you aren't getting anything out of it.
~Q
1628942 Yes that would be helpful. My dislexia has a tendancy to miss stuff. Post them, I'm not ashamed... well not that much.
1629216 What!? All that time reveiwing the story and I dont look at the intro. I asure you the storys far better, thanks for the heads up.
Edit: Fixed it. It should be better now. I was so worried about mistakes in the story I forgot to check the flimsy intro I made weeks ago. Got to say though, never updated by phone before.
Alright after one minor... OK colossal screw up I'm back on track. On a side note I'm looking for a certified grammar nazi to be my editor, god knows I need the help.
The woods where far denser here: were
any pony's lived: ponies
They where extremely emaciated: were
Tears where now falling: about a forth my: were
1630723 Thanks. Mistakes corrected.
1630773 There are also errors in the chapter names. The correct versions would be:
Of Theories and Concepts
I Awake...Or Is It Turn On?
Broken Fantasies
There you are! Now that's out of the way, I will actually read your story.
1630135
Thanks, I'll retract my downvote and actually check out the story immediately. Remember the You're, your, they're, their, and there rules, because you still have one more mistake in the description;
Should be "You're." I'll look at the story and point out any critiques I see.
1632274 Blast those similar sounding words!
I'm nearly done with the 4th chapter, Its later than I would of hoped but eh what you gonna. I'm still looking for an editor for it when I finish, give me a heads up if your interested.