• Member Since 3rd Feb, 2016
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

mari tech

Starting back up this account, no longer a ghost watching from the shadows. I've decided that I've learned enough since my first stories that I can try again at writing.


It's always been known that Canterlots elite has been full of scummy ponies that benefit off of the ponies under them, reaping the reward of what others have sown.

But what if there was a new contender to oppose them? What if that contender was otherworldly? What if that contender was benevolent towards the common pony? What if that contender was... Undead?

The Dungeons and Dragons crossover is mostly for lore and names, and that the main character is an original character I had made when I was extremely tired. I had enjoyed the concept so much that I decided to try writing about it a bit. I'm not completely sure how long this Fic will be, but I hope long enough to be satisfying.

Rating is for mentions of alcohol, fantasy fighting, and the fact that the main character is living impaired.
Gore tag is for the 4th chapter that is skippable.

Featured: 1/15/2021 and 5/29/2021
Thank you so much!

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 58 )

This sounds like fun. I cant wait until he meets blueblood.

10403343 It's their own fault for being so "Bone-Headed".

Heh. With all these puns, we're almost humerus!

10403406 Well, to"Marrow" it's their problem.

Oh stop you-...
Godamnit i lost the spark

I wonder if he has a fear of dogs

"Sister, calm down," Celestia told Luna as a chair is thrown across the dining hall. "NAY! We shan't be made a fool by these halfwitted 'nobles'." Luna tweaked her hooves to put the noble part into quotations. "We shan't allow this!" Luna sat back into her chair with a grumpy humph. "I know Luna, but times have changed. It is no longer seen as ethical to execute them for pointing out an honest mistake on your part." Celestia raised her teacup to her lips and took a comically long drink from it. "But I understand Luna. It makes me angry too, but I can't do much about it."

She would have executed somebody for pointing out an honest mistake, if it weren't for laws against that. What the actual fuck? Excuse you, luna?

I had always felt that Luna would be the angry and a little vindictive sister of the two. That much will be much more elaborated on in the next chapter I am working on. But hey, don't grind yourself to the bone thinking too much about it. πŸ‘‰

Vindictive? She was about to straight up murder somebody for telling her she was wrong. Wtf?

Well, this seems to be getting better.


This story is hilarious. It's a good pre Halloween set-up. Good job! Looking forward towards more.

10405633 I'd recommend keeping this bit of writing knowledge always in mind; Dialogue should *almost* always be separate from other paragraphs, and always separate from other speakers. The few times it does not need to be separate from other paragraphs is when you want to add descriptions of gestures the speaking character is making in between their dialogue, but other than that, there are extremely few reasons to clump dialogue together like that. Clumping it together, in fact, is known to occasionally make readers with poor eyesight strain their eyes more, or otherwise just make the paragraphs seem, well, clumped together.

The so-called nobles of Equestria have forgotten the definition of their moniker. They have forgotten the sacrifices that their ancestors made to secure the continued safety of the kingdom in which they now reside. They have tossed away this history like so much trash, and have become a facsimile of the very villains their forebears stood against in times long-past save that they fight with words and money and not with weapons and armies now. Nobility is not a bloodline. Nobility is not a political position. Nobility is not a mark of wealth. Being noble are the choices that one makes in life. The words you declare and then live by even when they may cost you your very life. The choice to do what is right because it is right, and not only because you have something to gain by doing so. The 'nobility' have made a mockery of this title, and they should be punished for such a crime!

Lawful-Good Paladin rant aside, I'm interested to see where this story goes. :twilightsmile:

just one thing... PLEASE START A NEW PARAGRAPH WHEN SOMEONE ELSE SPEAKS! I love this story so far but reading large blocks of text containing different speech is painful.

Overall, this story is turning out to be A real rib tickler! In case you couldn't tell, I broke my funny bone long ago.

*chuckles* Can I, uh... sign those papers?
-Emperor Schwabauer
(This is the name of my Bannerlord character, and I have a small empire in northern Calradia)

and youuuu, haaaaave aaaa, GIAAAAAAANT. PENI-

Ten points to anyone that can guess what contacted her.

Oh hey this looks- *Notices that this story doesnt seperate spoken lines into their own paragrpahs* - wtf dude? I learned that shit in third grade how do you not know that? How have you lived your entire life seeing spoken lines seperated in everything from newspapers to novels and not think "Wow, thats how its supposed to be."

I know this sounds rude but honestly this is one of the most baffling repeated errors I've ever seen. Other then that one guy who never used periods.

Chapters 1 and 2 are going to be restructured, hold your horses, my dude. I admit, such a mistake is on me, I wasn't knowledgeable about such a thing until comments before yours were made and I have made an effort to change how I write. To me, at least, I never noticed that is how writing was structured since I focused on the content of the stories I read, rather than structure. It's kind of like how you are always able to see your nose, but you just never acknowledge it unless you actually focus on it or if something is extremely wrong about it.

I appreciate that you took the time out of your day to comment, but the rudeness wasn't required to get the point of your comment across to me. I'm sure you are a great person and not this rude to people in real life. I genuinely appreciate the time you took to comment and read my story.

Yeah sorry about the tone of my comment but like I said I was just so baffled by it. Spoken lines being their own paragraph was just something I had to do every single year from grade 3-12 plus university and someone presumably doing all that only to not know that is like meeting someone who doesn't know that the sky is blue.

It's perplexing.

I appreciate your apology and I thank you for not escalating the argument further which was my fear. I guess it just goes to show that you never know other people's experiences even with things thought to be common knowledge. Like one time, I met someone that genuinely didn't know how you were supposed to butter toast. That is not a joke, I met somehow that struggled with how to butter toast.

Thats hilarious and also very true. Everyone is different as are their experiences. For some reason I still spell freinds wrong no matter how many times I correct myself. XD

She is from a thousand years ago. Our middle ages should be sufficient for this example. Imagine what would happen if you went up to Royalty back then and demanded anything from them. You'd be dead before you even realized you fucked up as a best case scenario. Worst case, its off to the torturers dungeon until you die of you wounds or an infection, whichever came first.
The only reason Luna didnt go through with the execution is because she is trying to adapt to these more modern times she finds herself in.

Really enjoying this hilarious story and I hope to see more soon! It a nice brake from the usual stories. Keep up the awesome work and hope to see more!

Thank you for your kind words. I'm trying to finish the next chapter soon. I've just had a few speed bumps to get through.

I hope that wasn't who I think it was:fluttercry: por Love bug

Damn I did NOT think this through when reading this I expected comedy not murder and comedy. You pulling no punches!

Thank you for this lovely story. But, who died I wonder?


Good chapter. I'm loving were your going with this.

Hello chryssi. One enjoying this a lot two I hope chryssi actually gets to live Chrysalis is pony too no Chrysalis abuse! Anyways really enjoying it and hope to see more soon!

This story rattles my bones
so I like this story

SPIN THE WHEEL! Instant favorite, can't wait to see what's next.

TShe stopped dead in her tracks as she gazed upon the corpse across from Celestia.

Had to read that twice, first time was of Celestia.


Good chapter. I look forward towards another.

The puns, they hurt!

I like it so far, though it'd be better if you kept the tenses consistent.


Well, that's not ominous at all.

You fight like a fairy farmer!

Hmm, dark magic sonar, interesting.

Chryssie noooooo! D:

Hmm, I wonder if Chryssie's soul is still attached to her body, the personality change seems to have been quite significant, though it could also be caused by experiencing death.

Hopefully she's not a mere servant. And I wonder if with time we'll see some snark from her.

Nice speech. I agree.

Nobles are people who were close and favored by a King. It means if one did enough good things for the Kingdom, you had the honor to stand with him. That was how it should be. But as you have said, the more time passes the more they forget the cost and weight of nobility.

The nobles we have been shown in Equestria hide behind their words and wealth, with few doing actions appropriate to their station. The philosophy of nobility should be thus: 'Born into the world rich or poor; a noble must continue to show that they are worthy to be acknowledged by the Kingdom and their rulers.'

I guess it was my turn for a rant, though I can not say what my alignment would actually be.

...level 11 college of lore bard...

Thought it was DnD, now I am not so sure. Time to search a bit it seems.

I am wondering how in the world the Princesses are going to smooth over informing the country of Equestria that they have an undead working for them. Ponies can be a bit... skittish with things thought evil.

... why would anyone sign a contract with him? What does he have thats worth providing labour for? Do the princesses plan to just gift him land and money?

I absolutely agree.

NOT HOW AND ON WHICH WAY AS action what will cause the effect.
The effect only matter s what will do

"Yes, it's truly a shame that a dead man holds a better conversation than you." Conrad took his seat near Celestia with his contract out on the table, ready to talk more.

Oh shit! Call in a medic we got a third degree burn over here!

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