• Member Since 22nd May, 2013
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Kingofhills


Comments ( 13 )

Good start, love the intro - and NICE TWIST at the end, there! Completely caught me off-guard!

Looking forward to seeing where this goes; kudos to you!

10375666
Thank you kindly! I appreciate the comment and I'm glad the twist worked the way I wanted it to. ^^

Second chapter is already in the making, too, so stay tuned!~

ss

damn this is good good. excited to read the next installment!

Didn't this used to have a different cover art?

10415252
It didn't have any cover art at first. This chapter was published alongside it!

I haven't finished this chapter, but so far it just feels really... dull.

It's not the worse thing ever written, but so far it isn't really doing a good job at hooking my attention due to feeling like it's trying to heavily emulate the first chapter of FoE (and emulate it without figuring out what made that chapter work).

When I first read the part where Tink was snooping around his dad's room, I noticed the bit where it said he didn't see any negative emotions coming off of him but didn't think much of it at the time.

Very nice hinting.

Huh. I wonder if he remembered to disguise himself before passing out.

And ooh. Lets hope the Mysterious poker is friendly or this will go downhill rather quickly.

Huh, I want to see where this go's. Following.

So... this isn't dead.

Chapter 3 should come out sometime soon, but it's clear that the writing pace is not as fast as I'd like it to be. There are a couple of reasons why that's the case, but let's not delve into that.

There will be a lot of talking.

Alright, not a bad first quest but definitely should've asked for more. I have a feeling that the factory job is going to be much more of a pain in the flank than he's expecting.

Also new companion aquired! With Rainfall's introduction into the party we have a chance to see some basic wasteland survival training for Tinker. Hopefully he'll pay attention and maybe learn something on their way to the factory.

Also looking forward to Tinker's conversation with the chief Engineer pony. Maybe they'll have somethings they need part wise that Tinker can grab for some extra caps. I can see spark batteries being a needed commodity as well as fuses and the like.

Overall this was a thoroughly enjoyable read and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

10588738
Thank you kindly for the comment!

I guess we will see how the job goes. After all, the wasteland can be a wild and unpredictable place. ;)

Rainfall is definitely a much needed addition for Tinker's adventure. Knowing his luck and general lack of experience, she might just be what he needs to go on.
Or maybe she's got an ulterior motive going on here, and will sell him out the moment there's a decent enough opportunity.

Time will tell~

10589778
red herring!

but for real, i like all these characters so far. pacing is good(one of my more major writing flaws), and tinker reminds me of what i kinda am like/was like irl. which in an of itself is a little sad but also draws me to him more.

i really hope rainfall doesnt turn on him... she seems like a decent pony.

and i suddenly have suspicions about her that may or may not be expanded upon in a later chapter.

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