• Published 27th Aug 2012
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Guy Talk - JonRS



Spike, Snips, and Snails host a radio show. Frustration and hilarity ensue.

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Faceless Fears

The following episode was recorded and aired during the run of the hit radio show “Guy Talk”. The original airdate is unknown. All that is known that it was recorded on Nightmare Night and the featured guests were Zecora, a local alchemist, and Rum Chaser, a local bartender. The episode was sealed due the controversy of whether the actual events took place. That is until now. The following is the original transcript of the show and a summary of the events that happened from various eyewitness reports.

Guy Talk

Faceless Fears

Episode ?

Co-written by Blood Brandy@ Fanfiction.net

“I’m Snips.”

“I’m Snails.”

“And I’m Spike. This is Guy Talk where we objectify females in a society dominated by them for the sake of entertainment, along with our producer, Vinyl Scratch. It’s Nightmare Night and we have two very special guests who are going to tell us all about an ‘encounter’ with the legendary and extremely fictional, Slendermane. I’d like to welcome Zecora and Rum Chaser to the show.”

“It's great to be on your radio show, I listen quite often I’ll have you know.”

“‘Sup, little dudes, and not so little dudette, I’m glad to be here. Almost didn’t make it.”

“R-really? Did S-S-Slendermane come after you again?” Snails asked quivering in fear.

“Nah, my bar has half off drinks for mares in costume on Nightmare Night, and and a certain berry marked customer of mine takes that to mean she should drink twice as much.” Rum smiled, “Don't worry, she’ll be fine, it happens every year.”

“Come on, Snails. Don't tell me you’re scared of Slenderchump. He’s not so great. I bet I could take him.” Snips pounded his chest in a display of machismo.

“Slendermane is one that you shouldn’t face alone. Heed my warning and race to your home. Shut the door and hide under your bed, lest the evil known as Slendermane takes your head.”

“Rum Chaser, do you honestly expect me to believe that you actually saw Slendermane? I may believe in ghosts, humans, and other crazy stuff, but even I know Slendermane is made up.” Spike asked with clear skepticism in his voice. Rum chuckled at Spike’s disbelief.

“Really, Spike? And how can you be so sure? Even the strangest of legends have to come from somewhere, perhaps you'd like to hear my tale. Scratch, hit the lights, and listeners, if you have foals with you, you should change the channel, or they may spend weeks with screaming nightmares, MWAHAHAHAHA-hack,” the stallion thumped his chest, “Man, I have to work on my evil laugh. Zecora, would you?”

“Mwahahahahahaha!” Zecora laughed echoed evilly as the sound thunder crashing seem to appear in the soundproof booth. The lights immediately went dim as only the center of the room was illuminated. The faces of those sitting there at the table were the only ones who could be seen.

“H-hey, I actually remembered I have some homework to do! Maybe I’ll sit this one out, guys?” Snails said trying to leave.

“Homework, Snails? If you’re scared, just admit it. There’s no shame in admitting you’re a scared, little filly who wear pretty dresses.” Snips mocked.

“I’m not scared! I just have to do my homework is all.”

“You are right to be scared, little colt. No one would blame you if you chose to bolt.”

“I’d blame him.” Snips spoke up.

“Hehehe,” a dark chuckle echoed in the room, from Rum, “If you’re sure, little dude, but I hope you know what you're getting into, but be warned, once this begins, there’s no turning back,” again, lightning flashed and thunder sounded into the booth.

“I’ll stay.” Snails sighed.

“Then I think I should start without delay. The tale of Slendermane visiting Ponyville one fateful day.” The sound of thunder clapping accompanied her statement once again.

“Hey, give the sound effects a rest, Scratch. Go on, Zecora.”

Though I know you all will doubt,

Listen close and I'll tell you about,

The horrific time, now one year past,

And the Nightmare Night that was nearly my last.

“Okay, I have a question before you continue. If this is your story, why is Rum Chaser telling it? How do you two even know each other?” Spike asked.

“Because no matter what, she can’t resist a rhyme, even when she knows that it’s mine.” Rum grumbled, before clearing his throat, “And we know each other because we used to date a while back.”

“Did you just rhyme the first part of that sentence?” Snails asked. Rum chuckled to himself

“I guess I did. You should have seen us when we were dating, I rhymed almost as much as Zecora here does,” He looked fondly to his ex.

“I did not mean to steal your thunder, please forgive my minor blunder. I hear you’re dating someone new. Might I ask who?”

“Well, I'm not sure she’d appreciate me mentioning thing on air, but she’s a lovely pegasus with a blonde mane. We're doing pretty well and I get along with her daughter too.”

“Let’s stay on track here. So what happened next?” Spike asked.

My shift at my bar was over and done,

And I hoped to go party, and dress up for some fun,

When, to my ire, who should bumble in,

But my stumbling drunk Pegasus cousin,

“Interesting, you mentioned you owned a bar before. Were you drinking the night you saw Slendermane?” Spike inquired. Rum leveled a deadpan glare at the dragon.

“You’ll also notice I said I just finished working, and it’s a strict policy at the Stumbling Dragon that the only thing you drink while you work is soda or coffee. I take my job rather seriously, dragon dude.”

“I see.” Spike said.

“So,” Rum growled, fire in his eyes, “Can I get back to the story?”

“I’m sorry if I offended you, but I had to make sure you were sober for this supposed encounter with Slendermane. So your cousin stumbled in, what happened next?”

He looked ready to fall; he'd had way, way too much,

You could tell as he used a barstool as a crutch.

I knew I couldn't leave him; his wife would be pissed,

When she woke in the morning, and found something amiss,

So I hefted up that drunken, winged lout,

And, after saying good bye, we both set out,

But I was taking longer than he thought I should,

And, yelling about a shortcut, the foal dashed into the wood.

Now I was getting fed up, and had enough of him,

But blood is blood and kin is kin,

“Hold on a second! Your cousin was barely able to walk and now he’s dashing through the woods. This story just started and it’s already pretty fishy.” Spike said interrupting once again.

“Spike, how many drunks do YOU normally deal with? how well do you know the abilities of a drunk?” Rum questioned, getting on edge, “How many times have you had to deal with the fact that drunken unicorns go all wonky and either can’t lift crap with telekinesis, or routinely sent stuff straight into the ceiling? Or that you need strong wood for the bar because earth ponies are prone to forget their strength when they drink too much? Or, I don't know, that Pegusi have a tendency to try and hover when they can’t stand, and almost always end up in, what I call, the 'Drunken Dash', where they shoot forward and only stop when they hit something?" The barkeep took a calming breath, "Like I said, I take my job rather seriously, so I know a lot about certain creatures and how they drink, like you can’t give a Diamond Dog any Chocolate Liqueur, or that a Griffin’s tail tends to get a mind of it's own when they get sloshed," a mischievous smirk found it's way to his face, "Or that Zebras tend to get frisky after-mpH."Rum found Zecora’s hoof covering his mouth and a warning look on the zebra’s face.

“I know of you as much as you know me, so pick your next words carefully.” The stallion chuckled nervously.

“Sorry, but the point is, a pegasus who can’t stand can still dash, they just can’t stop until they hit something,” He glared at the dragon, pointing at his mark, a coconut drink complete with umbrella, “And I don't appreciate my knowledge of drinks or drunks getting questioned by somepony who’s probably never even had hard cider.”

“You’re right. I don’t know much about drinks and stuff, but I do know enough about the woods. I know there are roots, holes, bushes and small animals that even a sober pony would miss if he wasn’t careful. If you expect me to believe a stumbling ,drunk pegasus could move forward two feet let alone dash through such a environment, I think you’re full of it.”

“You two are both quite through! So here is what we are going to do! Spike will not interrupt until the tale is done. I also want no more bickering from anyone. You both shall act as grown folks should, now tell me that you’ve understood.” Zecora demanded.

“Fine,” Rum grumbled.

“Okay, I guess.” Spike muttered.

“Hey, tell me that trick for zebras after the show.” Snips whispered to Rum. Stealing a glance, Rum shook his head.

“Sorry, little dude, but I’ve seen what Zecora can do, and I kinda like not being in traction.” He shuddered a bit, “Besides, I doubt you would even be able to handle a zebra.”

“Aww, you’re no fun.” Snips said letting up.

“W-what happened next?” Snails asked.

So I went to get him, with no moon in sight,

Unaware of how my life would be changed on that night.

I followed his hoof beats and mad, drunken cries,

Thankful he knew he was too wasted to fly,

When soon, as the fog became almost too thick to pass

A sudden scream shattered the silence like glass.

Fearing the worst, I ran at full speed,

Dodging trees branches and trampling weeds,

In a clearing, I found that moron passed out on the ground,

When some strange feeling made me turn around,

Then what I saw made my heart start to race,

Dressed in a suit and tie which seemed most out of place,

He was taller than two ponies high, maybe three,

With a sharp, twisted horn of the darkest ebony,

And dripping with blood, and blacker than black,

Demon-like tendrils and wings on his back,

But that was not what made panic attack.

For the most frightening thing about him was the thing that he lacked,

No eyes, no mane, no nose, mouth or pelt,

But somehow, his evil, eyeless glare still could be felt

“It’s me, Snails! Slendermane! Woooo!” A voice spoke out as Snails felt a hoof on his shoulder..

“He’s gonna get me! Help!” Snails shouted as he scrambled out of his chair.

“You’re such a filly, dude! I totally got you.” Snips laughed.

“Muhahaha,” A deep, dark laughed echoed behind Snips. The colt jumped out of his chair and feel to the floor covering his head.

“Ahhh! It‘s Slendermane!” Snips cried out. The colt looked up to see Rum holding a cardboard tube.

“Hehe, got ya, little dude.” Rum laughed.

“You didn’t get me. I…uhh.. did it on purpose. Y-yeah, I was trying to scare everyone else.” Snips said as he set his chair back up and sat down.

“Yeah right! Who’s a little filly now?” Snails mocked.

“Sh-Shut up, Snails! Anyway, let’s get back to the story.”

As the mist thickened I could feel it on me,

Slowly driving me towards insanity,

So I did what I had to, grabbed my friend and I fled,

All to escape being thoroughly bled,

As I ran, he stood still and didn't make any moves,

But every time I looked back, he was right on my hooves.

Faster and faster, towards the city I dashed,

When one of the tendrils caught my neck with a lash,

Panting and blooded, weariness making me slow,

I focused my mind and my horn began to glow,

Out of my wallet, money shot through the air,

Twenty bits for my life seemed far more than fair.

“I know I said I wouldn’t interrupt but I have to comment on this part. A monster grabs you and your first instinct is to throw money at it. I've run from a few monsters and I never thought of throwing bits.” Spike commented.

“It does seem a bit strange. Your first instinct was to throw your change?” Zecora looked at him curiously.

“I didn’t want to slow down to pick something up, and I only had two things on me, at the time, my cousin and my wallet,” Rum deadpanned, “Would you rather I throw my cousin?”

“Nobody’s saying it was bad. It’s just weird that you would think your pocket change could stop Slendermane. So what happened next?” Spike asked.

Whether they hit, I didn't look to see,

For I was close to the city, I was almost home free,

The light was returning, the mist was retreating,

Pony's voices I heard over my hearts heavy beating.

I made it past the tree line before turning to see,

The tall, slender pony just gazing at me,

Somehow, without moving, he acknowledged I'd won,

And with a blink of my eyes, he was suddenly gone.

I dropped my cousin at his place, and went home to mine,

Ready to drink to away the memory of that horrible time,

But on that little journey, I didn't get far,

For the very next morning, on my way to the bar,

Guards and police were running around,

And crime tape sealed off the clearing I'd found.

For there was a horrific thing to see,

There was blood on the ground and guts in the trees,

From branches, severed heads hung by their manes,

With faces like they had been scared insane.

I tried to tell them of the previous night's tale,

But it seems because I smelled of whiskey and ale,

When my story was over, they turned and they scoffed,

They said I'd drank too much and should go sleep it off,

But I tell you the truth, that on the dark, moonless night,

When the clouds bring the mist, and block the star's light,

When an unexplained fear creeps into your soul,

And you shiver and quake like a scared little foal,

Pray to escape, fast as you can, run away,

For only death awaits you, if you should stay,

For he is still out there, carrying death and fear,

Rum flipped his mane to the other side of his neck, revealing a long, jagged scar along the base.

As sure as this scar throbs whenever he's near,

Don't go alone, for there is no shame,

In fearing the monster, the beast SLENDER-MANE!

“Bravo! The scar is a nice touch too.” Spike said clapping his claws slowly.

“I can’t believe you survived.” Snails said practically shivering.

“Come on, Snails. I don’t think this guy survived anything, unless an overactive imagination is a terminal disease then he might be in trouble. I bet he went home and got drunk then dreamed this whole thing up. He probably cut himself on some broken glass when he fell asleep.” Spike explained.

“Oh really, Spike?” The stallion chuckled darkly, “Well there is a little something I left out, mostly because I couldn’t figure out how to make it rhyme. You see, I saw it, Slendermane had a cutie mark, looked kinda like an X with a circle around the center crossing point.”

“And?” Spike asked. Rum smirked, pulling out a newspaper clipping from the Hawaiian shirt he was wearing.

“So take a look at this.”

“What is it?” Snips asked.

“It’s an article from about a year ago,” Rum explained, “So what do you see, Dragonling?”

Somehow, Spike's scales seemed pale, “Five confirmed dead...evidence of at least seven more, ugh,” He almost flinched at some of the descriptions, “Rum, this is sick, using these pony’s deaths for some ghost story!” Spike growled.

“I’m not using anything, look there,” He said, pointing at a tree in the background of a picture, pulling out a magnifying glass. Looking closer, Spike saw it. A large X on the tree with a circle in the center...in blood.

“Look,” Snails gasped, grabbing the magnifying glass and moving it to the corner of the picture, revealing a shadowed figure partially concealed by a tree, thunder echoed in the booth again.

Snips shook in his seat, "S-S-SLENDERMANE!"

“Hey, Scratch! Quit it with the lightning already!” Spike shouted.

“What are you talking about, Spike? I didn’t do that. I thought that was Zecora‘s magic.” Scratch responded confused.

“I know I can act with dramatic flair, but this time the blame lies elsewhere.”

“Wait a minute! Weren’t you making those sounds when you dimmed the lights?” Spike started to get a bad feeling about this.

“I didn’t dim the lights. I forgot to go before the show and went to the restroom. By the time I came back, the lights were already lowered and the story had already started.”

“Ung!” Rum grunted, flinching around his scar, “Crap, he's here!” His horn glowed, pulling a dagger from under his shirt, “Eyes open, dudes, and don't get separated.”

“Whoa, Rum, what are you doing!?” Spike yelled, seeing the blade.

“Is it truly as we fear? Is the demon really here?”

“Afraid so,” Rum growled as the lights flickered, “If you ponies out there can still hear us, beware the moonless mists, and if I don't live this time, I love you, Derpy!”

The sound of static grew as the sound of frantic hooves and panicked voices can be heard leaving the room. Soon, all that’s left is the white noise and silence. After a few seconds, the silence was broken by the sound of someone adjusting a microphone. A new voice took over as the static began to die down. It was deep and slow with a haunting quality.

“Oh no! It seems they left before I could meet them I person. I was so looking forward to seeing them too. I was really looking forward to sharing my work with them. I’m such a fan, you know. I listen every chance I get. It’s all I wanted.” The voice was creepily calm as the static started to flair up as if becoming angry. The voice let out a sigh that seem to calm the deafening white noise.

“You’ll pay for this Rum Chaser. You’ve denied me twice. I don’t like that. I don’t like you. I wonder if you’ll like it when I string a certain mare and her brat up with your own intestines. Don’t worry though. I’ll keep you alive long enough to see them hang from your entrails before I take you life.” The voice punctuated the statement with an eerie silence, even the static disappeared for a few seconds before roaring back.

“Hmm? It seems I should get going before you get too far. Before I go, there’s something I’ve always wanted to do.” The voice sounded almost giddy as he cleared his throat.

“I’d like to thank and apologize to everyone who listened to this. This is Guy Talk signing out. Sweet dreams, Equestria.”

Outside the Studio

Panicked hoof beats echoed down the hallway of the radio station as four unicorns, one carrying a small dragon, and a zebra made a mad dash for the exit. The whole station was eerily empty, more so than it should be, even as late as it was, but the distinct lack of bloodstains and bodies brought hope that they'd just left.

As they got close to the door, Rum heard something from a radio on the front desk.

“You’ll pay for this Rum Chaser. You’ve denied me twice. I don’t like that. I don’t like you. I wonder if you’ll like it when I string a certain mare and her brat up with your own intestines. Don’t worry though. I’ll keep you alive long enough to see them hang from your entrails before I take you life.”

As they made it out the door, Rum slowed to a stop.

“Rum, what are you doing?” Spike called back.

The red pelted stallion turned back to the door, “You guys get out of here.”

“What?” Snails yelled. “What about you?”

Rum was silent for a moment. “He threatened her, he just threatened Dinky and Derpy, and I’m not about to let that stand.” He looked back at the group, “I can’t let this go on, I can’t just let him roam free to hurt someone I care about.”

“But, if that really is Slender-mane, then he’s a monster, maybe as bad as Nightmare Moon,” Spike almost yelled in frustration, “you really think you can beat that thing?”

Zecora’s eyes narrowed, “It’s not that, little dragon kin, he doesn’t even plan to win.”

Rum’s expression hardened, “I don’t have to win, I just have to make sure he loses.,” The stallion suddenly hissed through his teeth, "He's coming," with a wave of his horn, he sent the others flying into the distant bushes to hide before facing the door. There was nothing yet, but he could feel it was close, the monster that had haunted his nightmares for the past year, that made him scared for the lives of those around him when night fell. He blinked, and there it was.

Rum stared down the inequine monster in front of him, Slender-mane's tendrils slowly waving, ready to strike.

The stand-off continued for a moment before Slender-mane's head cocked to the side inquisitively.

"It won't work," Rum growled, confusing the hidden spectators, "I know how you do what you do, your power drives fear into the heart and soul of your prey, stunning them, clouding their judgment or just driving them mad, but it won't work on me. There's no room in this heart for fear." The glow in his horn disappeared, but the dagger glowed brighter and grew, becoming a blade the length of Rum's body and was brightly glowing an earthy red.

"I am Rum Chaser, son of Bourbon Chaser and Tequila Sunrise, this blade was given to me by my granda', Whiskey Sour, and it was passed from his granda' and his granda' before that, this sword was used by my ancestors, proud Trottish warriors who fought demons like you in the ages of Discord. I stand here to fight for the same reason they did, to protect those I care for," Rum called out, and odd accent slipping in as the sword was held high, tip to the sky, "It is by my blood, and by this blade, I swear you'll not see another day, foul beast, even if this night is my last." A shot of light erupted from the blade, disappearing into the cloudy skies, thunder rumbling, before rum charged, bringing the telekinetically held blade down on Slender-mane.

Sparks showered the combatants as the surprisingly strong tentacles blocked the sword. They broke contact when a couple more tentacles attempted to spear the unicorn. As Rum opened some distance, Slender-mane's horn began to glow a seeping, bloody red, a similar glow trying, but failing, to take hold of the sword. Rum charged again, sword level as he tried to run the demon through, only to be parried again, this time catching a small cut on his right shoulder before he could leap away, getting a good feel of the tentacle's range.

The glow of the sword intensified as a number of pebbles around the unicorn lifted from the ground and shot forth, pelting Slender-mane at surprising speeds, a somewhat sharp one cutting his face. The tentacles slowed, one moving to the cut and pulling back with a deep red, near-black substance that oozed from the wound. After examining it for a moment, a strange sound emanated from the beast, like high, windy howl, before Slender-mane stretched his wings and took to the air, the aura of his horn growing darker before firing a beam of energy Rum barely managed to block with his sword, his hooves digging into the ground as he was pushed back a few inches before he rolled to the side, dodging another beam.

Slendermane hovered, firing beams forcing Rum to dodge or block, sometimes moving as the unicorn managed to swat a beam back at the demonic creature.

Rum smirked as he heard the sky rumble again, ‘There!’ He pointed the blade at Slender-mane as the sword glowed, and there was a flash. Pain shot through his body, be he still grinned as he heard the monstrous scream peel through the area, followed by a thump.

Shuddering as he felt the last bits of lightning arc in his body, Rum blinked the spots from his eyes and looked to where the thump had sounded. He had called the lightning, but he hadn't caught the brunt of the bolt. Shakily, Slender-mane stood, with cracked, burned flesh and black ooze covering his body, and a smoking stump in place of his right wing.

Despite his lack of a face, Rum could feel the rage pouring off of the monster, for an instant, just an instant, Rum felt something forced into his mind, a vision of a pegasus mare and unicorn filly in pain, bloodied and tortured. The image lasted only for an instant, but that was all the time the monster needed. Tentacles lashed out, one wrapping around his neck, while another two wrapped around his right hind leg and left foreleg and began to pull.

Rum struggled to breathe, the tentacle around his neck squeezed tighter and tighter, he could feel his shoulder and flank joints get close to popping out. He tried to bring the sword down on the beast, only for it to be caught by the remaining tentacle.

On the sidelines, the others watched, frozen in fear, as the life was slowly choked out of their fellow pony. The youngsters tried to tear their eyes away, but couldn't help but watch.

"It's over," Snails quivered, "He'll come after us next."

"Vinyl Scratch, this is your opportunity, quickly, take the little ones and flee."

"What?" The DJ whispered frantically, echoed by Spike.

"What about you, Zecora?' The dragon asked.

"I have something I must do, and I'll make sure he won't chase you."

"Are you insane? That thing just took a huge lightning bolt and still caught Rum."

"I have not gone around the bend, what if that were your unicorn friend?" Zecora snapped, "I will try and help take this beast down, while you go and try to get help from town." The zebra ran off before anything more could be said, as Scratch scooped up the dragon and ran.

Rum struggled. He could feel the fear trying to work in as the edges of his vision began to darken, his limbs almost ready to pop out, when he caught the barest glimpse of something hitting the side of Slender-mane with a flash and a bang, giving Rum the chance to wrench himself and his sword free and get out of Slender-manes reach before looking to his savior, who had ditched her costume.

"I did not expect such an encounter this night, but I believe what I have will make due in this fight."

"I told you to get out of here," Rum growled, catching his breath, but not taking his eyes off Slender-mane, who seemed to be in pain as the small explosion tore off some burnt flesh.

"Stubborn as a mule," Rum grunted, clearing his throat, "Fine, stay away from those tentacles and don't let the fear get to you," leveling his blade in a battle stance, he added, "but if things get too bad, you'd better get your flank the heck out of here, understand?"

"Order all you want, but I will tell you this, from me, you will get no such promise. This is not something I do for fun, and against such a beast, it does me no good to run." Zecora pulled a small bottle out of her saddle-basket, "I fight here for the same reason you said, so someone I care for does not end up dead."

A new howl echoed from Slender-mane, angrier than before, as an image projected into Zecora's mind, a filly, beaten and hung by her own ribbon bow and-

*CLANG*

A loud noise shook the zebra from the vision, Rum's sword had blocked a tentacle mere inches from her face.

"Focus, Zecora," Rum grunted, forcing the sharpened appendage back.

"I apologize, my friend, it shall not happen again," Zecora hurled a bottle, which was broken in mid-air but one of Slender-mane's tentacles, causing another, slightly larger, bang with some fire, burning the tentacle. "You try and threaten with visions of doom, but I will not let you harm Apple Bloom!"

Elsewhere, lost in the fog, Spike looked back from atop Vinyl Scratch. He couldn't shake the feeling of guilt, he barely knew Rum, heck, to be honest he didn't know Zecora all that well either, and he had been kinda a jerk during their story, but both of them where fighting and probably giving their lives so he and the others could escape.

He thought about what Zecora said, what if it had been Twilight fighting, or Rarity? He'd stayed safe in the library when Nightmare Moon attacked, he pretty much completely froze up when Discord came to town, he didn't even really fight back when the Changelings crashed Shining Armor's wedding.

Then a thought came to mind that made Spike's blood run cold and he jumped off of Vinyl Scratch.

"Spike, what're you doing?" The unicorn asked, trying to pick him back up.

"I have to go help them." He tried to run off, only to be held in mid-air, "Scratch, put me down."

"Spike, are you nuts?" Snails cried.

"Yeah," Snips added, "didn't we just try to get Zecora to not fight that thing?"

"Spike, we have to get out of here-"

"What about Octavia?" Spike yelled, cutting Scratch off and causing her to drop him, "What about Rarity, or Twilight or Apple Bloom or any of the others? Rum ran away once, and Slender-mane was willing to go after Derpy and Dinky to get at him, and now we're running, so what's to stop that thing from going after everypony we care about to get to us? Rum did some damage, so maybe we have a chance to," Spike struggled with what to say, before snapping in frustration, "I don't know, but right now anything is better than running and risking our friends. I'm a dragon, damnit, and I won't let that thing take my treasured friends!" The little dragon ran back towards the station, leaving his friends stunned in his wake.

Spike hauled tail, running back to the fight, all the while one thought repeating in his head.

“What the hay am I thinking!?”

Finally, he was back at the bushes he had been hiding in earlier, and the fighters looked worse for the wear. Zecora just blocked a tentacle strike with her metal bracelets, which broke, apparently from repeated hits, her Mohawk was flattened and she looked very tired with a few cuts along her side. Rum looked worse; he had cuts and gashes leaking blood, soaking his shirt red, and his sword was shaking slightly as he blocked another attack.

Slender-mane still stood tall, which was a surprise given the fact that he was missing large chunks of flesh, and now was missing both wings as well as a tentacle, leaking his oozing black blood.

“What do I do? What do I do? What was I thinking?” Spike thought frantically, “Yeah, I’m a dragon, a BABY dragon! I’m not big enough to smash him, he’ll kill me before I can get close enough to do anything, and my fire can’t reach, I can’t send my fire far enough to,” an idea hit, “Fire sending,” he quickly looked around him, before smirking, “Bingo!”

*CLANG*

Rum blocked another tentacle, swaying a bit, he was seriously running out of steam and was getting a bit dizzy from blood loss, but he kept his eyes on the monster.

"Even injured, he does not slow, and I'm running out of potions to throw," Zecora panted, "If you lose more blood, you start to swoon, we need to end this fight, and soon."

"I know, we need to get close for a finishing blow, but we can't get close enough without getting minced. We need something to slow him down or something."

Just above Slender-mane, there was a flash of green fire, dropping a very large, very heavy log on top of the beast, trapping its body and two of its remaining tentacles beneath its weight.

"That'll work," Rum grunted, dashing in. The remaining tentacle attacked, but was blown back by one of Zecoras last exploding potions as the stallion took the chance to cut it off close to the base, bringing a howl from the beast as Rum noticed something. He could see the stars. Not only could he see the stars through the fading mist, but he could see the eastern skies turning orange and red, but most importantly, he could see how frantically Slender-mane was trying to squirm out from under the log, one of his trapped tentacles working free and nearly taking Rum's head off before a thrown potion blew it off at the base. The demonic pony's horn began to glow, but stopped when a hard swing from Rum's sword took it off with a shower of blackish-red sparks. The separated horn flew through the air in a high arc, sizzling and burning away as the first rays of the sun peeked over the horizon and hit it.

The Unicorn stoically stared down at the struggling monster, before raising his sword high and stabbing it into Slender-mane's head, right through the middle of his horn stump. The demonic pony's struggling ceased, aside from a couple of twitches, as the light fully came over the distant hills and hit the pale, black-blooded remains, causing it to sizzle and burn away into a quickly dissipating black smoke under Celestia's power.

Hearing the approaching rustle in the grass, Rum, dizzy from blood-loss, found Spike beside him.

"Good job, little dragon dude," the unicorn watched the disintegrating body under the slowly burning log, "Can you move the log again? We should probably make sure the body is destroyed, too."

"I think so," Spike answered. It had taken a lot out of him to send the log the first time, but he managed to send the log a few meters away, revealing the broken, twitching body underneath. Rum pulled his sword out of the head, which actually just ripped the head from the degenerating neck as it stayed impaled on the blade, and stabbed it into the body where a normal pony's heart would be, and through into the ground. The growing dawn light burned away at the remains as the trio watched.

“Is it… Is it over?” Spike asked.

Rum silently watched the body, or about the half that remained, as Zecora answered, "With us alive, and now dawn has come, I think it's safe to say we won."

As the last of the body was burning away, the silence was broken by a distant voice.

"SPIKE!"

A large group of ponies were quickly approaching across the grass, lead by-

"Twilight?" Was all Spike was able to say before he was tightly hugged by the worried unicorn.

"Oh, we were so worried, Spike, we've been trying to get here since the broadcast was cut off, but the mist kept stopping us and I couldn't even teleport us here."

"Is that Slender-mane?" Rainbow dash asked when she saw what was left of the disintegrating remains, with Fluttershy hiding behind her.

"What's left of it," Rum said gruffly, before something finally drew his attention from the smoldering pile.

"Rum," the soft voice made him turn so quickly that he almost passed out from dizziness. Teary eyed was his girlfriend and her daughter, who dashed to him and wrapped his foreleg in a hug, ignoring the blood getting into her pelt as she cried. Derpy stepped up and nuzzled him, ignoring the blood as well. After a moment, she pulled back. The serious look in the one eye pointed at him was accented by the bit of blood staining her muzzle.

"Babe," Rum cut her off before she could say anything, "I know you probably have a lot to chew me out over, about doing something so dangerous and almost dying and stuff, but I just spent the night fighting an inequine monster that threatened the two most important girls in my life. I'm tired, no, I'm exhausted, sore, and I'm seriously close to passing out from both that and blood loss, right now I just want two things; The second is to get to the hospital soon, very soon, but the first is to ask this," Taking her hoof in the one that didn't currently have a unicorn filly attached, he looked her in the eye, "Derpy Ditzymania Hooves, will you marry me."

There was silence among the ponies; Derpy was so surprised that both her eyes seemed to focus as one for a moment before-

*THUMP*

*THUMP*

Both she and Rum passed out.

Zecora chuckled, walking over and pouring something down Rum's throat, which seemed to slow a lot of his bleeding, "Well, with that bright start to this new day, we should all be on our way, and get Rum to the good nurse Red Heart, so his much needed healing can start."