About a half an hour in, “I-I’ma happy you both r happy… Now ifn’yall excuse me, I- I got work needs doing.”

As Jacks starts to slide off the seat, Rain-Bro flies up, “R-Right, good work Bro. I’m going back to practice some more of my awesome moves!”

Please don't turn this into a herd

Herd yes

The seeds have been planted, no stopping the herd now, also great story,little small on the chapters length but otherwise a great story.

Nice work.

I think my biggest gripe with this story is how much you gloss over details. It feels less like a proper story and more like a summary of a story. The time skips aren't doing any favors.

11442351

I have to agree with this. Things move incredibly quickly with absolutely nothing for filler. Just, "This happens then this happens and finally this happens."

About a half an hour in, “I-I’ma happy you both r happy… Now ifn’yall excuse me, I- I got work needs doing.”

As Jacks starts to slide off the seat, Rain-Bro flies up, “R-Right, good work Bro. I’m going back to practice some more of my awesome moves!”

Atleast i could eat some negativity
Or maybe some Repressed appledash???