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The Red Parade


"i don't think you can stay," said the sea to the night

E

A famous author and the captain of the Wonderbolts meet again for the last time.

A very last minute entry for the Summer 2020 Role Swap Contest.

Thanks to HapHazred, wishcometrue, and Vis-a-Viscera for short-notice editing.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 2 )

Right, so I'm in what I'm calling judgey judgmental Judge mode, which means I'm reading and evaluating and weighing this story a little bit differently then I would as a normal reader.

The choice of switching Spitfire and Daring Do is certainly an interesting one. The two have nothing to do with each other normally, aside from a connection to Rainbow Dash, and she isn't even alluded to in this. So the story is just focused on these two characters without any distractions. I was definitely interested to see what you'd do with it going in.

Which means that I'm kind of disappointed to learn that the answer is...not a whole lot. That is, you've set up a pretty interesting and compelling scene. I like little hints about how the two lead subtly different lives even in their swapped rolls, like Spitfire being a flight mechanics instructor, or Daring being somewhat less sure and confident in her position as Wonderbolts captain. But the story itself doesn't actually do much with the swapped rolls.

I think I would have preferred if you'd set the story a week earlier - in the lead-up to the mercenaries stuff and break-in and so on that lead to their falling out. As it stands, we're coming in at the end of a relationship, but it's a relationship that even in the canon universe doesn't actually exist - I'm not actually sure if Daring and Spitfire have ever even been in the same episode at the same time, let alone shared a speaking scene. As a result I found it kind of difficult to really get into caring that the relationship was ending when I didn't have any real sense of what was being lost.

All that being said, however, this is by no means a bad story, or rather, a bad end to a story. I'd very much like to see how we got here, as well as see what happens next.

I’ve reviewed this fanfic in this blog.

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