• Member Since 17th Jun, 2017
  • online

The Red Parade

"i don't think you can stay," said the sea to the night


A famous author and the captain of the Wonderbolts meet again for the last time.

A very last minute entry for the Summer 2020 Role Swap Contest.

Thanks to HapHazred, wishcometrue, and Vis-a-Viscera for short-notice editing.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 2 )

Right, so I'm in what I'm calling judgey judgmental Judge mode, which means I'm reading and evaluating and weighing this story a little bit differently then I would as a normal reader.

The choice of switching Spitfire and Daring Do is certainly an interesting one. The two have nothing to do with each other normally, aside from a connection to Rainbow Dash, and she isn't even alluded to in this. So the story is just focused on these two characters without any distractions. I was definitely interested to see what you'd do with it going in.

Which means that I'm kind of disappointed to learn that the answer is...not a whole lot. That is, you've set up a pretty interesting and compelling scene. I like little hints about how the two lead subtly different lives even in their swapped rolls, like Spitfire being a flight mechanics instructor, or Daring being somewhat less sure and confident in her position as Wonderbolts captain. But the story itself doesn't actually do much with the swapped rolls.

I think I would have preferred if you'd set the story a week earlier - in the lead-up to the mercenaries stuff and break-in and so on that lead to their falling out. As it stands, we're coming in at the end of a relationship, but it's a relationship that even in the canon universe doesn't actually exist - I'm not actually sure if Daring and Spitfire have ever even been in the same episode at the same time, let alone shared a speaking scene. As a result I found it kind of difficult to really get into caring that the relationship was ending when I didn't have any real sense of what was being lost.

All that being said, however, this is by no means a bad story, or rather, a bad end to a story. I'd very much like to see how we got here, as well as see what happens next.

I’ve reviewed this fanfic in this blog.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!