• Member Since 24th Dec, 2019
  • offline last seen March 31st

dashielovesyou

why EqG sunset and rainbow lowkey bad 😨⁉️

dashielovesyou Joined 24th Dec, 2019 · Offline

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Rainbow Dash tells the pegasi to make it snow. But its the middle of summer! Why would she ask us this? :rainbowhuh:

Ty No Name 13 for editing this story.
Chapters (1)
Complete Published: Jul 30th, 2020 Download
1,019 words
Comments ( 3 )
redandready45
redandready45 #1 · Jul 31st, 2020 · · ·
Reply

The story has a very ridiculous plot hole that distracts from the interesting idea you put forward: out of season weather in Equestria.

You had a really cool idea, but I feel the execution was not good.

Please don't let that discourage you. Take my criticism as a guide for any future stories.

Flora Blossom
Flora Blossom #3 · Aug 30th, 2020 · · ·
Reply

Don't give up on it. It may need a lot of changes... When I write I got terrible at first, but that doesn't mean I can go back, and make it better. Like making finishing touches...

I noticed that you have big enter gap... try to make 1 enter gap for each paragraph... I started to notice this on most of your fictions.
V


^ to much enter...

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