Chapter 6,
For want of a War
Zeta
Words spoken, their eyes met - the challenge made and accepted.
Jackie took off her hat, a cream stetson with a simple leather band, placing it on Twilight's head, her eyes never leaving the draconequus. "Y'mind lookin' after that fer me, Twi? Wouldn't want t'get it dirty now."
"Despite the name, the 'ten gallon hat' will not, in fact, hold more than three quarts of wa-" She was speaking to nopony. "...ter." The orange pony's hoofbeats already fading into the distance.
A dark gray pegasus contemplated the pony before him: head, literally, in the clouds. "Hey mac, that's not a good place to sleep." No reply, a tentative hoof tapped the unconscious pony, "You ok?"
"Mnuh, … blueberry and celery muffins? No... of course I'll try one... m'jus not tha hungry... " The stallion's eyes popped open, 'can't see - am I blind? No, my head's stuck in a cloud.' He shrieked, scrambling backward. 'I can't stand on clouds, last I checked... oh, oh dear.' Then he began frantically patting himself all over.
'Feet? Four, still hooves, still brown. Cutie Mark still firmly in place, hello little hourglass.' The Doctor took a deep breath, grasping a strand of his mane for examination. It was brown. 'Blast.' Patting his head, 'No protrusions - certainly no horn.' Turning his head around he examined his back... to find two wings behaving as though they had every right to be there. "Hullo, you're new. Extra limbs, fascinating. I wonder if I need to learn how to fly or if it's instinctual?" Memories of a gray pegasus convinced him he'd need lessons. 'Hold on, lessons, Derpy, wings... what is... tip of my brain-'
The other pegasus watched brown stallion examining his own wings as though seeing them for the first time. It was a shame, really, seeing a pony on the downward slope. Salt, Alcohol, Nettles, didn't really matter what the guy was doing, last night had messed him up. Poor kid probably didn't even remember his own name. "Hey mane, I'm Thunder Dash, what's your name?"
"What?" 'Wait, that name...'
"What is your name?" Thunder began calculating the route to the nearest hospital.
"What?" 'There's coincidence - which never is - and then there's just bloody ridiculous. '
"What … is … your naaay-muh." What was he going to do if this pony didn't want treatment?
'I don't dare say "who?", laugh and I'm fit to never stop.' Maybe 'Nope, can't use "the Doctor", not sure when I am - might cause more complications.' "You can call me... Time … Turner." Something nagged at the back of his mind, 'oh well, time for panic later.' "Pardon, it is vitally important that you tell me: what day it is?"
"Huh? It's thursday."
"The Date."
"May … 16th." Was the dude bipolar or something?
This was like pulling teeth. "WHAT YEAR?" 'Come to think of it, do ponies have dentists? No, focus Doctor.'
"Mane, it's 987. What did you take to mess you up so bad?"
"Croquet mallet to the temporal lobe, most likely." 'Seems to be residual psychic echo, implyings a powerful source of temporal energy. What did hit me?' He rubbed his abused noggin absently.
Thunder sighed to himself, "Whatever you say, Time Turner. Nice to meetcha', in any case." Now to assess just how messed up this stallion was, "You know where you are?"
"Haven't the foggiest." It struck him as funny, so he laughed.
"Great... look, come with me, I'll getcha' a cup of coffee and see 'bout getting your hooves on the clouds."
"Fantastic. So where are we?"
"Cloudsdale."
"Cloudsdale? As in 'Cloudsdale' Cloudsdale?" the other pegasus nodded slowly.
'Steady on, 987 CE, almost a year before Derpy attends flight class... which ended with... and the last I remember is ... Well then.' No TARDIS, no backup, only the contents of his saddlebags. Well, that and fourteen years worth of time. 'Do I actually have time to plan for once? Fantastic, now if I only had a clue what to plan for.' This was going to require a great deal of thinking. He glanced up, "Ah, Mr -"
"Hay mane, Mister Dash was my father, you dig? Just call me Thunder."
"Call you Thunder? Ha, I like that. Well then, Thunder, thank you for your help. I can take it from here."
"Ohhh no you don't. Sunny'd never let me hear the end of it if I didn't see you straight." Thunder began heading off.
The brown pegasus trotted after, "I'm sorry, I don't follow?"
"Just come with me, Time, my place isn't too far from here. You from Hoofington?"
'Now why would he... oh, right, the accent.' "Ah, a bit further out than that." As he began trotting, the Doctor was able to feel the minor physical differences between his new form and his last. 'Where does that leave me? I've never regenerated into a form so similar to my last one before.. except that one time, and that took... preparations.' He had time, and at the same time he had no time at all, 'typical'.
"Jackie wai..." Rarity inhaled... held, and released her breath.'Good news: I found one of them BEFORE Discord got his claws in her. Bad News: he just tricked her into chasing him. Consolation: now I know for sure that his execrable rules are reversible.' Somepony was talking-
"...and clueless?" That was Diane. Rarity couldn't see her - Twilight was looking at something above-
The white pony leapt to her immediate left. Struggling to her hooves, she heard water splashing loudly. Glancing up, she saw the grayed pink pony precariously perched upon a ladder where Rarity had just been standing, empty bucket in her hoof, dripping a last few drops of water.
They looked at each other for a few moments, "... right. So just clueless. What next, oh furless leader?"
The completely grayed out pony spoke, "It doesn't matter. Everything we do is pointless - we're just pawns."
"Well I hardly feel that is a correct assessment, darling. Personally I think of myself as a queen."
Diane snickered.
"The queen's still a piece on the board, and can be sacrificed if the game calls for it." the gray pony mumbled.
"There are approximately one thousand, three hundred and twenty six variants of Coltsparov's gambit that involve sacrifice of the queen to achieve victory. Only two of them involve a ball of string." Nopony asked the question that begged.
"Dash, what... what did he do to you?"
"The worst thing he possibly could - he showed me the truth."
"The so called electronic 'lie detector' is considered to have a reliability rating of less than sixty percent, and is no longer permissible evidence in court of law." rattled off the faded plum pony.
Rarity wheeled to address the assembled mass of pony. "All of you, listen to me: we are not tools, we are our own ponies." She turned back to "Rainbow Dash?" Who was trying to nest in a pile of books.
"Please, just leave me alone." She curled up tighter.
"I neither have the inclination to indulge you, nor the option, considering that we are still in somewhat of a hurry."
"I can't help you, nothing I do matters."
"...I.do.not.have.time.for.this." Rarity resisted the urge to slap hoof to face. Then she had an idea, likely an evil one 'it must be, it seems too much like fun'. "Dianne, I need you to carry Rainbow."
"Why should I?" questioned the requested.
"Because she doesn't want you to, and you know that her moaning and complaining will irritate me further."
The pink pony glared at the white one for another long moment before she walked very deliberately over and picked up the grayed-out former pegasus. "This is going to cost you."
"That is one of the few things in this life I do not doubt. In any case, we are going now."
They ran and ran. Past the reference section, 'Super Naturals, Elements of Harmony: reference guide, 101 Card Games for Fun and Profit'. Jackie leapt a pile of displaced dictionaries deposited by Discord, 'Mareiam Hoofster, the Ox-Pony Equestrian Dictionary, and … Jumbled Text's guide to Crosswords?'. A lasso around a horse statue helped the orange pony turn a sharp corner as they passed through the Foal's Fiction section, 'Reminds me I want to pick up a copy of 'The Wizard of OCs' for 'Bloom... I wonder if they still have "The Little Train Engineer that Could"?' Gaining a little ground, she made a dive for her target's serpentine tail - missing both her mark and the flock of Ornithology books that flew by at her former head height.
"How in th' hay does that not count as magic?"
"Do you mean to tell me that you don't know the difference between magic and chaos? What are they teaching you in school these days." Discord sucked at his teeth in disapproval.
"It's all invisible forces that ain't obvious to outsiders. Common usage says that's magic."
"You wouldn't feel that way about the differences between electromagnetism and nuclear fission, believe me."
"Who and What now?"
"Wrong century - never you mind." he raised his paw and brushed a spot of lint from his chest, "the point is that I'm winning."
The orange pony's brow furrowed. 'Don't ask - do not ask, DON't -' "How do you figure that?" 'Dangit'
Discord turned his head momentarily, the better to hide his grin until he could control it. Turning back, he snaked his head down next to Jackie's, grinning an alligator's conspiratorial smile, and whispered, "because I'm catching up to you..."
The earth pony scrabbled backward, unable to name the feeling of revulsion but also unable to escape it. "W-what th' hay's wrong with you? That's downright creepy!"
The draconequus stretched his neck back into the air, dropping all pretense of humor or superiority. His aspect no longer showed any of the sneering confidence or the jovial condescension that had been his hallmark, in fact he looked similar to when he delivered a broken Raibow D-
"No, nonononono... you don't win that easy." It was back, the feeling that every step she took doubled the weight she carried, that the earth was going to swallow her whole. She was struck by how many memories the library housed of her, walking Applebloom and her friends to the storyhour, taking Granny to see Rarity for an interview about the family's historical ties to Ponyville, the... the times when she was just a filly her Pa had taken her to hear stories or see a puppet show... she was wrapped in chains of memories, unable to breathe for everypony's expectations of her, crushed by rules and roles and routes.
The spirit of disharmony watched the orange pony run, shaking his head. "Every which way but loose, my little pony."
"You want me to do what now, Spikey?"
"C'mon, it's simple really. Discord, the demon of disharmony, is in the Library. Rarity is fighting him, trying to get back those necklace thingies." His grandmother (a term he had been instructed to never ever ever address her by) nodded, but her skeptical frown remained.
"Sure enough, and I know my little girl will beat that horrid... elasmosoarus-"
"Draconequus, mom," Sweetie corrected her mother. Spike shot his aunt a look of gratitude.
"I think what she's tryin' ta ask is: what's any'a this got to do with Clarity's cooking?"
Spike resisted the urge to put his paw to his face - Rarity's last run-in with Trixie had left her very sour on melodrama. "Because, she's been running around now for like a day and a half. I don't know if she'll be able to defeat Discord for good in one go or not. If she doesn't, she's going to be really tired." Everypony nodded, "Soo... the best thing any of us can do for her is to have coffee ready and waiting for her - whenever she gets out of the library."
Sweetie looked up, eyes bright, "Oh, well maybe I could-"
"NO!" the baby dragon slapped his hands over his mouth, but the word was already out, "I mean... I need you to help me, uh... make a checklist." He smiled... well, he bared his teeth in a generally friendly manner.
The filly turned her head to focus an eye directly on him, "Since when do you make lists?"
"Since... uh, since I helped Twilight Sparkle survey everypony's special talent. That was while you and the crusaders and Rarity met those stupid dogs."
"They're not stupid … well, they're not very stupid. Mostly they're funny, and I don't think they can look after themselves very well." This wasn't the important part... "And that one experience was enough to convince you that lists are helpful?"
Spike scratched the back of his head, "I dunno, it just felt right. I know Rarity keeps track of everything in her head - but I can't do that yet, I don't know if I'll ever be that good at memorizing stuff. But going around, writing stuff down, it just felt natural." he shrugged.
"Are you sure you didn't just want to spend time with Twilight?"
"Huh? She's ok, I guess, if you like plants and dirt and junk. I'm more at home around books, really. But I could see living in a small cottage near the Everfree, studying books about herbology and..." Spike's attention drifted.
Sweetie grinned, "... taking care of small woodland creatures alongside a certain pink pony?"
Aand Spike was back in the here and now, "Wha- I didn't, say... that exactly." Of all the things pony science didn't know about dragons, why they could have a visible blush through scales capable of withstanding lavabaths was one that irked him at that moment.
His aunt patted him on the head good naturedly, "Don't worry, I think it's cute you have a crush. I'll go get Applebloom, you grab the coffee and meet us at Flashworks. No... big scaly monster messes with my sister and gets away with it." They paused long enough for a claw/hoof and headed off with determination in their eyes.
She ran and ran. Passing through the Children's Fiction area again, she remembered when Scootaloo had 'volunteered' Rainbow Dash to read at the library's monthly storytime. Rainbow had railed against the book to be read, Daring Do and the Octarine Staff. But... it was for foals, so she gave in eventually. Read it, did voices for all the characters, the whole works, and ended up loving every minute of it. 'A pegasus who can't fly half the time, has to make do with her wits and whatever tools she can cobble together - hay, why wouldn't Dash identify with her?' That was when she started to get interested in performances, now she had plans to-
A ladder clattered across her path, which the orange pony easily cleared. "That, *huff*, the best you got, Discord?"
"Just a little wake-up call, you were drifting. I'm a little hurt that something can distract you from the glory of moi." he wore a loud floral print shirt and was carrying an ugly yellow suitcase with bright green floral print. "So, off for adventure are we - where to this time? Perhaps South to the swamps of Chile-Colt'e to find a lost temple devoted to the Underworld, or North to Stalliongrad and the icefields where the proud Crystal Empire once stood." His audience failed to rise to the bait. "Eh, I guess you could just head west."
"Y'all still talkin' back there?"
"Please excuse me if I am mistaken, my dear, but I believe that Yuh-Awl is an abbreviation of yew auwl, which would only apply when referring to a group."
She stopped to glare at him. Almost. "You tellin' me how to talk now? That's a laugh, which would be a first."
The serpentine figure wheeled his arms as he came to a sudden stop, "Come again?"
"Ah said, you ain't funny. Ya think ya're, but you just ain't."
"You wound me, Element of Humor." his tone did not match his words.
"C'mon, when's the last time somep- someone else laughed at one'a your jokes?"
"I'll have you know I once had the August Pony of Jade in stitches."
"Literally or figuratively?"
Discord crossed his arms, "I don't see what that has to do with anything."
"You are proving my point. I'm not going to give you a big speech about how you could 'stop all of this right now and we could work out a peaceful solution' like the the other girls probably have. There's no point, if you wanted that, you'd do it. But you've got too much pride to admit you're lonely."
"Oh, and you speak from a position of authority?"
"...yeah, I reckon I do. Much as it galls me to admit it, I think I might understand you because in a lot of ways I'm like you."
"Jaqueline, are you offering me your friendship?"
"Ah would sooner lick one'a them multicolor tree climbing frogs."
"Well that ended quickly."
"I'm not done and you weren't being serious." she paused.
"Why so-"
"-whatever you're about to say, nopony in this world would understand, so you just hush a minute."
Jackie pursed her lips, exhaled, took a deep breath, and realized she was stalling, "I... well I am not the pony most familiar with the truth. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I lie - more like I'll imply stuff, stretch the truth, and sometimes only mention part of what is true, so that it sounds like something different."
Discord threw his hands over his ears, his mouth a wide O. The effect was spoiled when he waggled his eyebrows. "Land sakes, I do declare you mus' be the most dishonorable filly in five feet." He dropped his act, returning Jackie's scowl. "This personal confession stuff is boring. Go big or go home... if you can figure out where that is."
The pony looked the draconequus over, lip curled down and eyebrows furrowed, "So... you'd just let me go? I don't see the angle."
"I haven't been keeping you here. If you want to leave, go - I've already defeated half of your crew, you have nothing left to threaten me with." His muzzle slowly curled into a smile. "But, I do have one question for you before you toddle off into the sunset." Despite his statement he remained silent. 'Bait the line, toss it and... '
Jackie struggled with herself, but it had to be asked, "What?"
'...hook, line, and sinker.' "Isn't it time to stop running?"
Jackie looked at him, looked at the shelves around them, pointedly looked at the lack of motion of hooves. "What the hay are you jawing about?"
"It's so tiring, isn't it?"
"What?" the pony found she was gritting her teeth.
"Lying." Jackie opened her mouth to reply, Discord cut her off with a chopping gesture, "To yourself. You claim to be like me, but I know all about myself-" He leaned perilously close to the orange mare,"-I made my decision about personal freedom and obligation. You, well you want to have your cake, eat it too, and claim you were never in the kitchen."
"I don't follow."
"No, you really don't do you? Let me make this simple: you want to be too many ponies. The faithful daughter/sister who looks after family, the hardworking orchard grower, the traveling trickster, the devoted friend, defender of the realm, simply country bumpkin, smartest mare in the room, peacemaker, negotiator, instigator, therapist, cardsharp, lone ranger, teammate..." Discord waved his paw and it returned to the proper number of digits, "huh, and Diane thought she had a headful of ponies."
"Let me get this straight, the embodiment of chaos is telling me I'm too random?" snerked the pony.
"Oh, no, you're hardly random at all. Everything you do follows one pattern: it requires no investment on your part and has an obvious escape route. All that running, always ready to bail."
"I run towards things too." 'Hold on, you're falling into his argument - don't try to defend, that's giving his claims validity.'
"That just proves my point, what you're running from," Discord folded his paws together, "My dear, the only thing you have ever been afraid of is yourself."
The orange mare barked with laughter, "that th' best you've got - really? Shoot, I've known that for years, even accepted it this last year when I … when I fought with Twi'." she shrugged. "So what?"
The draconequus folded his arms, dropping his smile, "So when are you going to tell Applebloom the real reason you left all those years ago?"
Jackie's blood felt as though it had turned to ice water. "What? I mean-"
Discord held up a paw to ward off excuses. "Don't bother. I've been watching you - don't feel special, I have been watching every pony... not much else to do when you spend a millenium as a chunk of stone."
"You - you were conscious that whole time?"
"Eeeyup." Discord took a step back, placing a paw on his chest, "What, now you care? Don't feel too bad, all of us 'miscreants' got the same treatment - even Celestia's 'precious' little sister got a thousand year cooling off period wandering the moon."
"She had no choice, none of ya'll gave her any other choice! Each an' every one of y'all, only thinkin' of yerselves, not how much any of your actions might be hurtin' folk who hadn't done anything to deser... "
"Yes? Go on, tell me how horrible and terribly irresponsible I am. You sound like you're speaking from a position of experience there. See something familiar, eh?"
"Ah'm nothing like you." Tears threatened to make an appearance.
"You were pretty quick to claim the mantle a moment ago."
"See, this... this is how you do it - isn't it? Ohh I'm sure everypony has things they're ashamed of, things that can crack how they like to think of themselves." 'Stop it, stop this right now.' the words spilled from her in a torrent.
"Because we've all got to tell ourselves we're good ponies in the end right? Everyp- everyone has to be able to sleep at the end of their day, has to look themselves in the mirror when they wake, has to keep going through the motions every... single... day... even when they know nothin' will e'r get better, that sayin', 'Ah kin change when'e'er I want' is the same's saying 'I just won't ever bother'." 'If there was ever a time in my life to just shut my mouth-'
"We just... we're just too afraid of losing what lil' we've got left, because... because if we're so terrible that we need to change, then what right do we have to hope fer something better?"
"Oh good grief, are you going to be as self-pitying as Rainbow Dash?"
"Got... got to work through this. The... game you play, only presenting part of a puzzle and countin' on us to fill in the pieces with our own fears. Got a taste of that before... didn't much fancy it." 'Breathe, inhale... exhale...'
"So what you're saying is that I'm not providing enough of a challenge? Really? Maybe you're just more self destructive than Pi- than Diane." His grin deepened to a sneer as Jackie's face fell, "Challenge accepted: your sister."
Jackie did her best not to roll her eyes, "My sister what?"
"I already asked you, have you told her why you left?"
"Of course I ain't told her why I left - I was a child. I sure wasn't thinking straight, but that's my failure, she won't ever hear that from me. Lucky thing I'm not the Element of Honesty - why are you laughing?"
"You -" snerk,"- you wouldn't get it." The chaos spirit stood doubled over, diaphragm spasming in chuckles, "Ok, ok... are you sure you won't budge on that one? It gets a lot worse from here on in. Don't say I never warned you."
"Right now I'd buck your fool head in if I wasn't pretty sure you could wave your hoof and restore it."
"Oh fruitpony, don't you know it's what's on the inside that counts?" Discord chuckled, passing his eagle claw through one ear and out the other side of his head. "And deep inside, I know that it's not what you think of yourself that terrifies you. It isn't any sense of personal guilt that haunts your sleep, and you shoulder your own doubts about as well as can be expected of a pastel miniature horse. No, an extrovert like you has sublimated all of her personal anxieties."
There was an audible pop as he extracted his arm. "When I said you were afraid of yourself, I meant that you are afraid of what others must think of you. What's the old saying? Familiarity breeds contempt?" He wrapped an arm around the rigidly standing pony, putting his head next to hers in a conspiratorial pose, "You KNOW, deep down, that none of them take you seriously. You tell yourself you don't want to be a burden... but what you really mean is that you don't want to find out - don't want to hear that they're tired of you. Disappointed, hurt, or just never cared in the first place. The element of laughter? Please, you were the closest warm body... and you know that they all know it - the one thing that they need you for is to wear a piece of jewelry."
A tremor ran through the pony, "Oh, you want to mention Twilight's incredibly generous gift to you. But what does that gift do? It gets you out of her mane more often. You show up for some occasional cheap labor and to keep her adopted family from worrying that you're dead - because it must have been so embarrassing for them to not know where you were for years and years... the founding family of the Apple clan, whose heir threw the family traditions to the wind. The last nail in the coffin will be the day you die, alone, in an unmapped ditch somewhere in the back of beyond. Nopony will know, and they won't even think to look for you until long after the fact - because 'well, that's just Jackie'."
Discord turned the fading pony to face him, "Where are your words now? You can't speak for anypony else. Oh, you can get inside their heads, guess what they'll do - even outsmart them sometimes. But in the end you can't touch their hearts, and in your own you know that must be because they're all just waiting for you to go away again." a tear rolled down a pale tan cheek. "There, now you can say that you're like me. Well, not nearly as handsome, but that's no reason to have such a long face."
The serpentine spirit considered the pallid pony for a moment before looming forward, "Whenever life's ladder takes you down a rung, remember that anything too stupid to be said is sung." Discord was already walking away as Jackie's eyes began to swirl in a muddy mixture of colors. "See you next time, cowpony."
They rounded the corner, and there she was. Orange looks quite brown when grayed, and ash blonde manes weren't unheard of. Rarity held out the tiniest bit of hope that this was simply a hapless patron who had been trapped inside when the hullabaloo started. But she had to know for sure. "Jackie, is that you?"
"I hate to say it, I hate to say it, but it's probably me." Rising to her hooves, the pony in question retrieved her hat from the purplish former unicorn's head.
"There are over 348 varietals of apples raised in the nation of Equestria alone - not including pear/apple hybrids."
Rainbow lifted her head slightly, "Oh, hi Jackie. You look different, change your mane?"
Diane looked at the mare and laughed so hard she fell over, dropping her pony burden in the process, rocked by further laughter.
Rarity looked at her friends, at what had happened to them. 'I'm not winning this. Not the way I'm going. There must be a better way to handle this... I've got to stop, I've raced around and lost four friends in the process.'
"Girls, I am so sorry I wasn't able to help you. I'm not sure I can do this without you. Please - if there's anything left of you - please please help me figure out how we can get to Fluttershy before Discord does."
"The common method of deep frying hay, known as 'Prench Fries' in fact did not originate in Prance, where they are known as 'chips'."
"Everybody's talking at me, I don't hear a word they're saying, only the echoes of my mind..."
"Nothing matters, it won't work."
"One question, do you want to save your friends, or have a shot at defeating Discord?"
"That is a ridiculous question, Diane, I intend to have both."
"While the phrase 'there is no i in team' is technically correct, it is a logical fallacy, because there are an 'm' and an 'e' in the word."
"But if you could only do one?" pressed the slightly pink pony.
"What are you trying to tell me?" Rarity strove to keep an even tone, though she was forgetting why to bother.
"I know where the Elements of Harmony are. When Dip-scored is done with Captain Heroic he's going to throw the Elements into a maelstrom that will scatter them... either across the world, or through time - maybe through time and then across the world." She tapped her chin, considering the matter. "In any case, by that point it will be pretty much impossible to get them back. Right now we have time to get there and stop him, maybe."
"A...are you asking me to chose between - between everypony and Fluttershy? Are you seriously suggesting I abandon the Element of Loyalty?" It would have been funny if it wasn't completely unfunny.
"You prance around like you can make the big decisions, well here's your chance, Assistant Professor." The dull pink pony sneered, 'now you'll see just how pointless it all is. You'll learn that there are circumstances that cannot be won.'
Rarity hung her head. Otherwise her grin would have been obvious. She raised her head high, "What did I just tell you?"
"What? When?" Diane took a step back, this was not an expected response.
"I said that I will have both. As I live and breathe, I will not chose, and I don't have to. Even broken you are all the best team I could ever wish for. Thank you, Diane."
"I-what? I'm not helping you, I'm being horrible."
"Then you're doing a terrible job. Keep it up." Rarity turned to Jackie,
"I got to ramble, I got to move on, I got to walk away my blues." Jackie pointed at the door.
"Excellent. I'll write up a letter for you to take around - wait, Spike can make copies, so find him first. If this world belongs to all of us, I think it's time the rest of them started pulling their weight." 'This can work, there is still a chance.' "Diane, you're with me. Twilight... you come too."
"The number three is the first non-even prime number, and the minimum number of points required to define a plane."
Dash rolled an eye toward the erstwhile unicorn, "aren't you forgetting one? It's prime."
"The number one is in fact classified as it's own category of number, second only to zero in uniqueness."
"Girls, this is all fascinating, but it can wait until later. Rainbow, you're going with Jackie, and you are going to walk."
"It won't make a difference."
"Good, then you might as well do it as not. Stand Up." Rarity's tone bypassed the rational part of Dash's brain, triggering some latent sense of self-preservation, and she found herself bolt upright. The white pony allowed herself a small smile - it wasn't quite the Royal canterlot voice of legend, but she had figured out a method of advanced telekinesis to quadruple the force of her voice. In fact, all four of the ponies around her were standing at attention. 'Careful, do not get used to that. We are not trying to replace one tyranny with another, no matter how nice it would be to have ponies really listen for once.'
The cowpony leaned over toward Diane, "Do you see what I see?"
"Yeah yeah, but I'm not going to point it out - she'll have to work that one out on her own, no more freebies." The other earth pony grumbled.
(Joke) Alt. Title: (For Want Of) A Minor Variation On An Idea Already Done A Dozen Times
1914471 No trope like an overdone trope, is there?
Hmm. You make a point. Rarity is even more of a perfectionist than Twilight is, but without the latent neurosis. They seem to be far more effective as a team in this world.
This is very, and I mean very, well thought out. Your ideas are fluid, your characters well developed and the fic itself is, overall, an immensely enjoyable read (and congrats on making the Featured Box by the way). Great work - have a thumb and a fav
1914897
Twilight knows what perfection is.
But Rarity can make it work, out of three pieces of hay and a drinking straw, if need be.
Im sorry Jackie I Speak Japaneses not Appleneses...
Oh friendship is witch craft.
Even Discorded Rarity can get them all to attention. That is amazing. Keep up the great work.
Can't say I completely like how this is panning out. It's nice how you are showing Discord to be a deeper character and the talk between him and AJ was well written, but I think you are trying to hard to make your versions of the mane six better. I think every one of them has managed to at least briefly to beat him up...a bucking god. That and the way AJ was convinced that she was 'already broken'? Ya, I'm pretty sure there is a lot Discord could do to actually break her. Like how about brainwashing her to have to watch from inside her own mind as she does everything she can to hurt those who she cares about.
1916865 Fair enough, I was afraid of doing that.
"While the phrase 'there is no i in team' is technically correct, it is a logical fallacy, because there are an 'm' and an 'e' in the word."
I've never thought about it like that before...
-Ghost Minty
1915720 ...which I'm very glad has been restored to youtube
1915652 Rarity may be more decisive, but I'd never bet against Twilight.
1917593 I didn't get that one. What does e and m have to do with anything?
1919745
There is no 'I' in team, but there is a 'ME'.
-Ghost Minty
1920796 oooooooooooooh. Now I get it =D
1925968
1. Your first sample is in fact an archaic speech pattern (people used to talk like that)
2. The second is an attempt to visually represent a halted pause and restart of speech (you don't have to like it, but I wrote bad on purpose).
3.
4.
Is all good, comrade.
Eh, I don'no about this one... What Discord did to Jackie feels like such a wasted opportunity; if nothing else, I think forcing her to speak in song lyrics (not to be confused with forcing her to rhyme!) would have been funnier, at least, but even that-... I just think Jackie could have been "broken" in so many better ways. Turned proud/haughty instead of apologetic. -or confrontational instead of avoiding. Just two things that could have easily come out of a race... Oh well dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Queen_Chrysalis.png
1929023 Well... nuts. Why the hay didn't I think of that?
Finally I got to the latest chapter, now to-
...
[youtube=www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRamaCzY0x4]
1916865 ooohhhh mindrape du jour. Nice touch... though if we want to get technical, I'd call Discord, and in fact all of the -quote- gods -unquote- to be more along the lives of the avatars of a concept. As such, they can be hurt and stopped, but as avatars they cannot necessarily die... but they can hurt, and Discord's been smacked around a bit.
1939265
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw1067_1320833838240031.jpg
1942326 Wacko Sparkle with a red right hoof... there with will slaps beyond number and description.
1959957
No apologies needed here. I mess up, readers point it out, we're all better for the experience.
First off: no, you didn't miss anything obvious - normally they would try to spread out as much as possible (I imagine it would look something like the formation in S2E22 Hurricane Fluttershy, but in the opposite direction). Drafting is completely counter-intuitive to storm fighting, that's why the Weather Captain was inclined to ignore Fluttershy.
My explanation is that pegasus magic 'cheats' when it comes to aerodynamics, surface area, and air displacement. To fly in our world a pony would need wings at least twice as large as a condor's (...which would be four times the surface area, I think). So: magic field extending the wing's surface area like some crazy fractal force-field that only interacts with air in the desired direction. Falling into pseudo-science here, but bear with me for a moment longer: 'because magic' the ponies are sacrificing minimal surface area (the barrel, legs, and head of each pony lined up after the first) without losing the air displacement of their 'wings' . The net gain in speed easily outpaces the lost surface area, increasing the total amount of air displacement caused (that faint sound you hear is physics professors bursting into tears across the world).
The fact that a passing pegasus can cause 'wind' means that the field must linger for a few moments - which explains why pegasi flying fast enough leave a trail of color (magic) behind them, the pegasus equivalent of horn glow. If the group of pegasi is flying fast enough in a circle to catch up with their own magic trail, it creates a feedback loop and begins to create it's own air current (hence the 'rain-blow-dry', the parasprite grabbing whirlwind, and the water launching tornado).
The whole affair is counter-intuitive, and requires far more math that the Equestrian Weather Service has ever put into the matter (why would they need to? 99% of the time their normal methods are more than enough to deal with any misbehaving weather patterns - if it's not broke, why fix it?).
Contrail is the wrong word, Mach Cone would be the right term... but in this world the ponies don't have that word for it (they're aware of the speed of sound, but there are so few things that travel at a significant multiple of it that they haven't needed the term yet.)
I should probably replace that with 'resistance/drag cone' or something.
The last chapter has been "under renovation" for a while now. Please tell me you haven't given up!
1988570 No, I'm not giving up... sorry to make you worry.
I should have something up tomorrow night... I just hate posting deadlines because when I do they usually end up being late.
Edit: ...and life makes a liar out of me once again. Sorry, I'm still working on the story, but right now I'm trying to get over a cold without falling behind in the rest of my life
The good news is that as soon as I get 'Zeta' up, 'Theta' will be a breeze to complete.
1988609 Thank Chrysalis!
As long as it comes eventually, I can wait.
Hey, I'm just here to point something out. Y'know how the plot of this story is basically a "What If?" story about if the Mane 6 had different Cutie Marks and how things would have been changed, what would and wouldn't have happened.
Well, um... Magical Mystery Cure is kinda about that same topic... Just felt like pointing that out.
1992751 Fair enough.
There's also The Fluttershy Effect which started a week before mine. One possibility can lead to so many answers.
Saw this story on the front page and it sounded, interesting but Holly Hay That's Allot Of Chapters well better get started.
Pfft I hardly did anything worth getting into the authors comment box. All i did was point out little stuff.
Another excellent chapter.
It seems Rarity is falling back into her "leverage" phase...
The comments, they are empty. It is sad.
2140646 Well this is technically a rewrite of an already published chapter. Most readers won't even know 'Zeta' is back up until I publish 'Theta'.
As for Rarity... Desperate times call for desperate measures Darling
2138623 Never underestimate the power of a second opinion.
AJ is speaking in song lyrics? Sounds like a Meat Loaf dispute waiting to happen.
2464978 No offense taken. Honestly, amoral capitalists are, if I'm thinking of the same group as you are when using that phrase, one of the biggest pains in my side as an Objectivist because they tend to leave out the "enlightened" in "enlightened self-interest," and end up making me look bad. Again, if I'm thinking about the same group, these would the predatory folks who are willing to snake in, get as money as they can, and not worry about the fallout of their product or the veracity of their claims. Modern-day snake oil salesmen, using self-interest in only its barest and most literal definition.
Enlightened self-interest requires one to provide the best product at the lowest prices, to under-promise and over-deliver. It requires that one take interest in their fellow man and help create a viable environment for each other. It's nice to sell someone one thing for $10, but it's better for my self-interest to sell them 20 things at $5 each. That in turn, requires that each product stand up to and/or exceed the claims I make, so that they will be willing to buy the next one. Similarly, it is to my benefit to sell you a product. To that end, it is to my benefit that you have the means to purchase my product by having compensation commensurate with your work, whether or not you actually work for me.
2140738
When's Theta coming out?
Also I'd like to thank you for your creation of Pinkie Pie's character. She's actually the main inspiration, along with MLP:FIM's season finale for the story I'm doing right now. So a huge thanks is in order. .
Btw ... other than Apple Jack's alt. I love the alternate versions of the characters. The only reason I don't like Apple Jack's is that it's never really stated how she was Laughter, or what exactly she does other than being a Vagabond. Yes it was mentioned that she did a stint as a rodeo clown, and she got her mark while doing improvisational comedy. But seriously I can't for the life of me figure out what she is or does. All I know is that she has a penchant for running from the hills when faced with commitment, and as Discord said. She'd be lying dead in a ditch and noone would care because noone would question her disappearing for months at a time. Which is kind of depressing when I think about it.
2523372 Let's see...
This year (promise )
I'd give you a more concrete timeline, but then I'd fail to meet it and you'd feel let down twice.
You're welcome
(looking forward to seeing what you come up with )
... yeah, I'm least satisfied with Jackie's characterization. I'll have to do the applepony more justice in the future.
2465065 That is a very succinct and apt description, props to you ser
2616385 Ah, is that the one? Thank you
How soon until the next chapter comes out?
2667595 Let's say 'three weeks' and see what happens
2692243 three weeks, huh? according to the site, that was four weeks and one hour ago.
2830926 D'oh! Well, I'll have it posted Sunday.
no really, I mean it this time!
2830940 I've said those exact words waaay too many times about my own stories, so...I know your pain man.
A very interesting change and approach of story. I like what you have done here. And hope the muse works and is something that works with you, never against..
Tsk. Discord lies to Jackie outright, and she doesn't catch it - telling her she will die in a ditch somewhere and no one will notice. Twilight still has that tracking spell on her, which, we are told, does not work on the dead. Oh, maybe she'll find some place completely devoid of plant life, and maybe Twilight won't be able to tell the difference between the spell ending and just staying quiet, but plants are tenacious things, 'ditch' implies dirt, and active spells drain Twilight's magic a bit. The whole scenario is pretty far-fetched as things stand.
I love how Rarity is not Celestia's fanfilly.
You get all the cookies for pointing out the "ya'll" thing, good author. That drives me *insane.* Ya'll is for multiple people. It is NOT singular!
Cap.
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y'all
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I think that the discording to Rainbow Dash is the meanest one of them all.
6894082
It's like in canon where Discord cheated and just wrestled Fluttershy's colour away.