It was another day at canterlot mall, and Starlight was hanging out with her best friend, Sunset Shimmer. It was a bit of a coincedence that the two were hanging out together, specially after the whole mirror magic incident with Juniper Montage. And so the two girls were sitting at a table, drinking some smoothes.
"It's great to be here together once more! Just the two of us, and no distractions.... So peaceful...." Starlight said. To be honest, she was right. Just her and Sunset, having a good time talking to each other. It really was peaceful.
Sunset smiled. "Your right Starlight. It is quite peaceful. Say, how's everything going in Equestria?"
"Oh it's fine. Just a little less adventure nowadays. Just wish there was though. Everything is now soooo boring."
"Boring? How? Isn't twilight giving you friendship lessons? Or did they stopped? I mean, I know this count's, but what about the others?"
"We stopped those a little while back, but we still do some." She took another sip from her smoothie.
"Oh. I see. But still, Twilight's choice is her choice, we should respect that."
"That's the exact thing I said when Twilight took an entire day doing nothing." Starlight said."Eh, but that dosn't matter. How are things going at CHS?"
"Oh not much. Just samo samo. Nothing new here." Sunset said.
"Looks like we have nothing going on in our worlds. Though I could use a little adventure....." It was true. Starlight was bored to death, and she needed somthing to do, like real bad.
"Well tell you this: how bout we take a stroll in the park? Can't hurt, right? Besides, we are both bored, so I figured that can help. What do you say?"
"Eh, it will do for me. Just hope I don't regret it later on." Starlight said."But..... It does sound nice. Count me in!"
later.....
Sunset and Starlight were taking a stroll around the park, just like they planned. They were peacefully walking and talking to each other. This is how Sunset imagned it would be. Peaceful, just her and Starlight, and a nice spring day. Of course she missed her friends, but she did enjoy her time with Starlight.
After a little while later, the sun begain to set, signaling that the day is coming to an end. Neither of them wanted to head back, but it was a must. Besides, Starlight is still staying with her bestie Sunset (after her aproval from the princess), for two more days.
"We should head home. It's getting late. What do you say?" Sunset said.
Starlight nodded in agreement. She was very tired after a good day like this. So the two of them head over to Sunset's house to get some rest.
"I hope we get another day like this. It was really relaxing." Starlight said.
"Yeah. Me too." Sunset said, and continued the walk back home.
*You're
Sorry, I hate being that guy but this and the their/there/they're typos trigger me to no end.
10370035
oopies! Sorry bout that!
That was when Trixie (the Equestrian one) swore to get vengeance on Sunset Shimmer for stealing her best friend/marefriend.
Her attempts are said to do nothing but make Sunset laugh.
I feel like the dialogue between the two of them near the start was a tad too formal. Try focusing on more relaxed words that feel less stuffy for them to say, since this is supposed to just be a laid back conversation for now. Just one example was Starlight saying "You're right Starlight, it is quite peaceful." Try something like "You're right Starlight, It's pretty peaceful." It's not a huge thing, obviously, but I just feel like it would make the dialogue come out more naturally since I don't really think anyone aside from Rarity talks like that normally. Chapter seemed interesting so far though, but I can't help but feel a sense of foreboding through all of this. I don't imagine things will STAY peaceful.
Starlight nodded, suppressing a yawn. The two headed over to Sunset's house to get some rest.
The reason for this edit is that this quote here is a bit heavy handed, especially as you emphasis the time earlier as well. Hopefully this sounds more natural, and you could possibly put in some dialogue here in addition, I think it might flow even better!