In the dystopian magitechnological future of Equestria, Agent Twilight Sparkle excels beyond measure against the Crown's enemies. Nothing will stop her from bringing Harmony back to the land.
A long chapter, but no less intense. Twilight's moral struggle to stop killing was a great side to her character.
But geez, she's really running across buildings to get into another serious fight down a leg and with a heavily depleted charge? That's grit, but also seems reckless. It's too bad they can't have at least one power cell that can be swapped out on the fly for situations like this. I suppose plugging into a regular socket for a bit of time wouldn't help?
Ooh, comments that delve into the world I've created, I am deeply joyed.
11431528 Crown Agents have carte blanche to act under their own power. The Crown might only have less than a hundred under command but with everything they have to manage behind the scenes Celly and Luna allow them all to act alone most of the time except for special assignments that require immediate attention, as Crown Agents know to go where the fighting is the worst. In the last chapter I revised some information about other Agents because I wanted to make it clear that Twilight isn't the only one working on her own power, hence Hex and Dizzy being out and about. Twilight is a little full of herself internally over being the Crown's best Agent and strives to go solo, though when shit hits the fan she will co-ordinate. In this instance, she's a little blinded by needing to help a friend.
11431581 She's very stubborn similar to the show, same as with Applejack, they both push themselves to get things done regardless of their own well being, and in this world it's taken to an extreme with Twilight given her in-universe issues I hope can be picked up on. She is extremely reckless indeed despite things like power issues. It was explained in chapter 3. 'Times like this never fucking occurred because she could operate for nearly a month without needing to recharge her systems without a proper station to do so, specifically for long missions where she might not have access to any sort of decent tool. It was why she didn't even bother to have a photovoltaic charging system, because if she needed a quick power fix when on mission like that she could eat specific calorie-dense foods like the Crown MRE's, and then her augmented stomach would put the chemical energy through an energy-catalyst conversion implant to put power into her system... but that took time where she'd usually sleep during the charge. She wasn't anywhere near the kitchens either, and even if she was she wasn't going to stand around with her hoof up her arse waiting for her batteries to gain what amounted to a drop in the bucket as it wouldn't give her more than a small boost at present anyway, she had shit to do.' Not one to sit around, our Twiggles.
Thanks for the comments and such regarding chapters, it's nicely invigorating.
11495571 It really isn't. There is sex but it is glossed over in 'fade to black' style, and we never see it. There's plenty of provocative words, but this story has an ongoing plot that is well underway and unrelated to clop. Twilight is just a horny bugger, really. There's a plot reason for that, too.
11500066 That may all be true, but the way you wrote your first chapters is the equivalent of advertising a new Star Trek movie with a poster of Captain Janeway fucking a Borg with a zoom shot of her exposed crotch.
11500104 If anything I'd say the violence is more front and centre, which is is. You seem to be hyper focusing on the sexual content. The story opens to Twilight completing a mission, she then goes and grabs a bite to eat, meets and leers at Pinkie and thus we get some eye-candy, and then she buggers off for a shag which we don't see. If you don't want to read it because of the sexual content then fair doose to ya, but I've outlined how it is. All I can say is to give it a fair crack with that in mind.
Dude, this is not a complaint nor is it about me not being able to stomach "sexual content". You fawn about her "puffy anus and tight vulva" out of fucking nowhere.
If you still don't get why that clashes with the kind of story you claim it is, then I fear your ability to comprehend social cues is so far shot that you walk outside with your dick hanging out, wondering why no-one wants to discuss philosophy with you.
11500132 Very odd that no one else has complained about it. I think it might be a (you) problem. Twilight is a perv and she notes these details because she's looking at them on a mare she wants to shag. The story is an M-rated one with the 'sex' tag, and while there's no actual sex you should have expected some description of genitals somewhere because of that tag. Difference being I just like being very descriptive about the marebits.
11500189 I receive plenty of criticism and have made changes or clarification in-story reflecting it, so it is quite important. Twiggy and her perviness are simply an element of the story though, and the way I write it to be descriptive is part of the style. If that's not for you, then fair doose.
I got a question for the community... well the people who will see this, not that you have to answer of course but what Music are you all listening to for this fic and other Sci-Fi's (if you listen to music while reading that is) this is something I've fought about on and off and I'm genuinely curious about the answers I will potentially get. Personally, I am listening to Perturbator's Raining Steel (for fight scenes) Eclipse (for general purpose/ambient) and Perturbator's Theme (only for the most chaotic moments) You can probably tell I like his stuff...
ih1.redbubble.net/image.838115120.2048/flat,750x,075,f-pad,750x1000,f8f8f8.u4.jpg
11391925
Thank you for that riveting review.
11391927
I felt it showed my appreciation adequately
Alita: Battle Angel, Cyberpunk, and Ghost in the Shell vibes.
A long chapter, but no less intense. Twilight's moral struggle to stop killing was a great side to her character.
But geez, she's really running across buildings to get into another serious fight down a leg and with a heavily depleted charge? That's grit, but also seems reckless. It's too bad they can't have at least one power cell that can be swapped out on the fly for situations like this. I suppose plugging into a regular socket for a bit of time wouldn't help?
Ooh, comments that delve into the world I've created, I am deeply joyed.
11431528
Crown Agents have carte blanche to act under their own power. The Crown might only have less than a hundred under command but with everything they have to manage behind the scenes Celly and Luna allow them all to act alone most of the time except for special assignments that require immediate attention, as Crown Agents know to go where the fighting is the worst.
In the last chapter I revised some information about other Agents because I wanted to make it clear that Twilight isn't the only one working on her own power, hence Hex and Dizzy being out and about.
Twilight is a little full of herself internally over being the Crown's best Agent and strives to go solo, though when shit hits the fan she will co-ordinate. In this instance, she's a little blinded by needing to help a friend.
11431581
She's very stubborn similar to the show, same as with Applejack, they both push themselves to get things done regardless of their own well being, and in this world it's taken to an extreme with Twilight given her in-universe issues I hope can be picked up on. She is extremely reckless indeed despite things like power issues. It was explained in chapter 3.
'Times like this never fucking occurred because she could operate for nearly a month without needing to recharge her systems without a proper station to do so, specifically for long missions where she might not have access to any sort of decent tool. It was why she didn't even bother to have a photovoltaic charging system, because if she needed a quick power fix when on mission like that she could eat specific calorie-dense foods like the Crown MRE's, and then her augmented stomach would put the chemical energy through an energy-catalyst conversion implant to put power into her system... but that took time where she'd usually sleep during the charge. She wasn't anywhere near the kitchens either, and even if she was she wasn't going to stand around with her hoof up her arse waiting for her batteries to gain what amounted to a drop in the bucket as it wouldn't give her more than a small boost at present anyway, she had shit to do.'
Not one to sit around, our Twiggles.
Thanks for the comments and such regarding chapters, it's nicely invigorating.
Potentially interesting, but waaay too much focus on pony genitals along with very detailed descriptions.
I get the impression that this story will swing between gory violence and hard-core porn and I am not looking for that in mlp fanfiction.
Abandoned.
11495410
There's detailed descriptions though never any detailed sex, but hey you do you.
11495478
Well, I only read up to chapter one, but the impression you leave in this short time is that of a clop-fic with a detailed scenario.
If that is your selling point, well, you do you.
11495571
It really isn't.
There is sex but it is glossed over in 'fade to black' style, and we never see it.
There's plenty of provocative words, but this story has an ongoing plot that is well underway and unrelated to clop.
Twilight is just a horny bugger, really. There's a plot reason for that, too.
11500066
That may all be true, but the way you wrote your first chapters is the equivalent of advertising a new Star Trek movie with a poster of Captain Janeway fucking a Borg with a zoom shot of her exposed crotch.
11500104
If anything I'd say the violence is more front and centre, which is is. You seem to be hyper focusing on the sexual content.
The story opens to Twilight completing a mission, she then goes and grabs a bite to eat, meets and leers at Pinkie and thus we get some eye-candy, and then she buggers off for a shag which we don't see.
If you don't want to read it because of the sexual content then fair doose to ya, but I've outlined how it is. All I can say is to give it a fair crack with that in mind.
11500109
Dude, this is not a complaint nor is it about me not being able to stomach "sexual content".
You fawn about her "puffy anus and tight vulva" out of fucking nowhere.
If you still don't get why that clashes with the kind of story you claim it is, then I fear your ability to comprehend social cues is so far shot that you walk outside with your dick hanging out, wondering why no-one wants to discuss philosophy with you.
11500132
Very odd that no one else has complained about it.
I think it might be a (you) problem. Twilight is a perv and she notes these details because she's looking at them on a mare she wants to shag.
The story is an M-rated one with the 'sex' tag, and while there's no actual sex you should have expected some description of genitals somewhere because of that tag.
Difference being I just like being very descriptive about the marebits.
11500182
If you get no criticism, then you just filtered your audience.
11500189
I receive plenty of criticism and have made changes or clarification in-story reflecting it, so it is quite important.
Twiggy and her perviness are simply an element of the story though, and the way I write it to be descriptive is part of the style.
If that's not for you, then fair doose.
11500196
Well, enjoy your passion then!
Cheers, mate!
I got a question for the community... well the people who will see this, not that you have to answer of course but what Music are you all listening to for this fic and other Sci-Fi's (if you listen to music while reading that is) this is something I've fought about on and off and I'm genuinely curious about the answers I will potentially get.
Personally, I am listening to Perturbator's Raining Steel (for fight scenes) Eclipse (for general purpose/ambient) and Perturbator's Theme (only for the most chaotic moments) You can probably tell I like his stuff...
Update When?
11663202
Soon™