• Member Since 21st Jun, 2020
  • offline last seen 5 minutes ago

No name 13


Ponies gone evil? Is this the end? Oh no....

E

This story is a sequel to Everypony Loves Twilight


This is a story related to dat collab with yourunclefuncle!

How did everypony love twilight? Why is the book: Love in the summertime a part of this? Why do I have to write this? No idea! Read to find out! :rainbowlaugh:

(DISCLAMER! I do not own the story: everypony loves Twilight. this is just a side story I'm making. Your welcome. Guess I was wrong..... :twilightsheepish:)

~ No name 13.

popular on day of publishing! Thankies everyone! :yay:

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 14 )

first one who read it
first on who liked
first one who commented

Wow, this wasn’t expected on my end, but good job, it’s a wonderful point of view. Also you should change the description. You half own Everypony Loves Twilight, and you can do with it as you wish!

10367089
alright! Thankies! I'm working on the next chapter, but I've kinda been working on my own story's.....

This was totes cute.

A bit strange, since I remember the original story saying things about Twilight not really liking Starlight in that way, but still enjoyable nonetheless. If I may make a suggestion, I felt like you used their names a bit too much and a bit too closely in many parts which was a little jarring since a lot of the times one or two name drops at most are enough to indicate who's thoughts and feelings we're reading.

Try finding ways to incorporate pronouns like she, her, and they more often or even omitting them entirely, it is one of the benefits to writing in the third person after all. Something that could accent those as well would be using commas more often to break up the sentences while not cluttering everything up with a lot of periods, but again it's just a suggestion. That's one story down, on to the next!

Comment posted by Nailah deleted September 1st

MMM MMM MMM this is scratching that lovely little TwilightXGlimmer itch that i was looking for, Always great to see a new author on this site who pushes this type of content and i'm excited to see more from you in the near future. Kind of reminds me of some of the stuff i used to write when i first started.

Enjoy the like/fave/follow and if you're ever looking for a proofreader to help you with those few pesky little grammar mistake hit me up.

10414471
thanks! Have one too!
10414437
can't access it....

Review
this link should work. Sorry about that!

Comment posted by brony_789 deleted September 25th

10367882
I love this story.

You know, I have a sequel on my story that's called, "Puzzle shield in cupcakes" .

Wanna go check it out?

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