• Published 27th Aug 2012
  • 6,493 Views, 197 Comments

Over The Rainbow - Kwisatz-Haderach



Rainbow Dash is in heat and her Wonderbolts acceptance ceremony is tonight! What will she do?

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The Concept of Love.

Rainbow Dash cringed as she was forced to endure the soft, yet abrasive scratch of bristles from the wooden scrub brush being manipulated by Rarity, who was sitting outside on a white bathmat, leaning against the edge of her white porcelain bathtub with her back facing the white Unicorn. Despite being in heat, cleaned by one of her best friends and in a hot soapy bathtub with another mare, she was feeling a mixture of exasperation and defeat, wondering just where it all went wrong.

Ever since she fell out of bed this morning, the whole day had been spent zipping from one point to another, seeking help from friends and repressing her emotions in an estrus-induced anxiety. During that time, she often felt genuine fear, remembering all too well the humiliation she had to go through after what happened at the last day of high school; the taunts, the laughter, the homophobic epithets and chants... Even though she knew well that she was best friends with the five other mares that bore the sacred Elements of Harmony and that she was far from being the only lesbian in town, Rainbow Dash felt that the slightest error or slip of the tongue would open up those old wounds.

As if to say that fate had not dealt her a cruel enough hand, Rainbow Dash's Wonderbolts Initiation Party was only 5 hours away, having been pushed to the beginning of mating season due to bureaucratic complications, she was in heat and about to meet her secret crush:

Her idol and Captain of The Wonderbolts: Spitfire.

"Rarity?" Asked Rainbow Dash. "What do you know about love?"

"Hmm? Love? What exactly about it?" Rarity replied, magically rinsing the blue Pegasus off with a small bucket of water.

"Well..." Dash's brain strained as hard as it could to force out a proper way to phrase her question in the least awkward of ways. She knew that Rarity was a bit more...conservative when it came to love. She was not homophobic or bigoted, mind you, but she never could quite grasp the idea of a wedding with two brides. She always grew up with the classic "fairytale wedding" trope, so hearing about Lyra and Bon Bon's wedding when it happened more than a year ago was a bit of a culture shock. "...well, what is it like to be in love?"

Rarity was taken aback a bit, knowing full well that Rainbow Dash would never say such a thing. "W-what?! Rainbow Dash, I-I thought you always hated mushy stuff like romance! Why would you ask something like that?" She said as she began to scrub the Pegasi's back.

"Well, it is mating season and...erm...seeing so many couples together..." A lump formed in Dash's throat, forcing her to gulp. She looked back over her shoulder towards Rarity to talk to her, revealing the blood that began to flow into her cheeks. "...it kinda made me wonder what it would be like to be in a relationship, since I've never been in one."

Rarity smiled and giggled, letting the brush magically continue scrubbing between Rainbow's wings as she talked. "Well...I'm flattered you asked me that! As a sophisticated pony, I always feel that it is pertinent for mares to be well learned in the arts of romance and sexuality..." She blushed upon saying that last word.

"S-sex...?" Dash stammered, her wings unfurling a bit as her blush intensified. She cursed herself for somehow maintaining eye contact with Rarity after she said that magic word.

"Of course, darling!" The Unicorn replied, turning a stainless steel knob to let in a brief flow of hot water. "Why shouldn't a mare know about how things should happen under the covers? After all, an active and healthy sexual lifestyle is vital for a long term relationship between two mutually consenting adults!" She said, drizzling extra soap on Dash's back, letting the pink-colored goo run down and get mashed into suds upon contact with the moving bristles.

"Eheh...yeah, how stupid of me not to know about that..." Said Rainbow Dash, smiling sheepishly. Dash then rolled over to face Rarity to both prevent the brushing from exciting her too much (which was any excitement at all at this point) and to ease , only to have her wing collide with the instrument, dragging its bristles against her wing. The sudden jolt of pleasure and discomfort felt like a hot copper wire sending a current straight into the Pegasi's brain, triggering a voice cracking shriek. Dash slid against the wet porcelain like a rogue bar of soap, flipping rumpfirst off of the tub's wall and into a thrashing somersault, flailing her arms and legs in a panicked attempt to right herself and splashing soapy water everywhere - with most of it landing on Rarity.

"AAUGGH!!" Cried Rarity. "Rainbow Alberghetti Dash, what is the matter with you?!" She yelled, scolding the Pegasus the same way she scolded Sweetie Belle earlier today for nearly crashing a hang-glider into her bedroom window. "I was barely even touching your back and you start thrashing about like a little foal! What's wrong with you?!"

For what felt like thirty minutes, all Rainbow could do was lay on her back in shock, staring at a wet and offended Rarity glaring at her as she felt her heart slamming itself against her sternum. After about three seconds of vacant staring, Dash regained her composure and laughed sheepishly, scratching the back of her head.

"Whoops! Heh...I guess I...just don't know what went wrong!" She replied, blushing.

"Hey, that's my line!" Cried Derpy, suddenly emerging from beneath the soap-clouded water wearing a scuba mask and snorkel. Her sudden appearance startled the other two mares, causing Dash to buck her legs out, splashing Rarity with even more water. The unicorn glared at the grey mare, letting out a low, but audible and very frustrated growl.

"Where the heck did you come from?!" Shouted Rainbow Dash, still a bit freaked out.

"Ah dunno." Said Derpy in the most casual tone of voice. Blowing a stream of bubbles out of her snorkel during the ensuing awkward silence, the blonde-maned mailmare ended it with a question of her own. "So watcha guys talking about?" She asked.

"We were talking about what love was, Derpy." Said Rarity, blushing as she shook her head violently to rid her hair of excess moisture. "I'm sure you would know plenty about the subject, err...right?" A nervous drop of sweat ran down the Unicorn's forehead.

Derpy took off her scuba mask and snorkel before nodding her head in response. "Oh, I sure do!" She said happily. "As I always say: 'I may not be a smart mare, but I do know what love is!'" Rainbow and Rarity both gave the esotropic postal worker a nervous smile, neither of them imagining Derpy Hooves of all ponies to be the one teaching them.

Rarity's smile turned from a forced one into a genuine one, unable to resist Mrs. Hooves' silly smile and endearing naivete. Rainbow Dash would have done the same, were it not for her trying to keep her eyes from wandering down to Derpy's nether regions (if she could even see through its foamy pink screen of bubbling body wash).

"So do tell us, Derpy, my darling." Chimed the fancy fashionista. "What ever do you know about love?"

Derpy pondered her question, pulling a bubble pipe out of the water and gripping it firmly with her teeth. "Well..." She began. The whole room began to blur and distort, reality pushing itself aside for the coming flashback...