A Cutie Mark Part 2
Dusk found three very excited fillies and a wagon filled with their camping gear waiting outside of the Everfree forest. They had all managed to get permission to embark on their newest adventure. Rarity had given her permission to Sweetie Belle in an absent manner as she stood amidst a swirl of floating fabric and thread. Scootaloo’s parents had always had a ‘hooves-off’ approach to raising their daughter, so they were happy to let her spend the night with her friends. Applejack had taken much more convincing. After the last sleep over had nearly ended with them being turned to stone, and that was when they were supposed to be outside the forest! She was reluctant to allow her little sister to go off and get herself into any more trouble. It took a big pair of puppy-dog eyes and a lot of begging to get her to finally agree. Even then she made her little sister promise to listen carefully to her elder, and stay out of trouble. They bounced up and down and chattered happily until the cloaked mare came out of the woods to meet them.
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Widget had spent the hour tiding up her home. This mostly consisted of clearing the bits of metal and what not from the floor and shoving them against the wall where nopony would step on them. She was just as excited as they were to get started. This was going to be fun! With her around to watch out for them, they won’t get into any trouble. The wyrmkin wrapped her tail around the wagon’s handle, and led the three fillies into the forest, dragging their supplies along behind them.
Upon entering the Everfree forest, the three fillies seemed much more subdued. They huddled close to Widget and looked about fearfully. Widget couldn’t really understand their reactions. In her opinion, the forest was a rather nice place to live. The trees protected her from staring eyes, and the darkness made her think of the caverns back home with Mama. The wildlife was interesting too. The only real danger out there were those big bear things, but you could smell them coming from a long way off and get out of the way. There was the whole poison joke issue, but that was more fun than anything else. She had received a big jug of the antidote from Zecora after her first encounter with the odd plant. Every once in a while, she would find a patch to play in when she got bored. It was always a surprise what could happen when you rolled in the funny blue flowers.
“Umm, Miss Widget?” a voice asked, startling her from her thoughts.
She looked down at the little earth pony. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
The filly shifted uncomfortably. “Are yah sure we won’t run in tah any monsters?” she asked.
Widget nodded. “The timber wolves have left me alone since I set their leader’s tail on fire last time. I don’t smell any bears either.” The fillies all relaxed visibly. Monsters. She figured it was nice to know these fillies didn't count her among their numbers. A loud crash came from up ahead. The fillies squeaked in terror. Widget sniffed the air, and then smiled. “Don’t worry girls, it’s just--” she began. Her words were cut off as a large form leaped from the bush. The fillies screamed.
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A large beast stood before them. It had the body of a lion, the wings of a bat, and the tail of a scorpion. “Manticore!” Sweetie Belle squeaked. The fillies huddled together in a ball behind the wagon. Widget let go of the wagon and stepped forward, shrugging off her cape and boots. The monster charged. It swiped at her with one of its large paws. Widget dodged its attack, retaliating with a jet of flame. It missed, passing harmlessly over the monster’s head. It swung its tail at her. Widget stood her ground until the last second, and then jumped out of the way. She grabbed onto the passing tail with her teeth. The manticore roared, flinging its tail around. Suddenly, Widget lost her grip. She flew through the air and crashed into a nearby tree. The girls gasped. The monster looked puzzled. It went over and looked at her. The wyrmkin didn’t move. It bent down to sniff at her curiously. In a flash, Widget was up and running underneath the monster’s belly. She flared her wings, rubbing them along the beast’s furry tummy. The manticore snorted. Then he laughed. The fillies looked on, dumbstruck, as it rolled about on the ground while Widget tickled it mercilessly. Finally the two combatants stopped, out of breath.
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Widget smiled. “I got you good that time Kit,” she said. The manticore purred and licked her face. “Eww! Kitten, that’s gross,” she grumbled. She paused as she remembered they had company. Widget was embarrassed. She had let herself get carried away. She had forgotten about the girls. They were just lucky the two of them hadn't ended up breaking the fillies' stuff. She turned to offer them an apology. To her surprise, all three of them were sitting in the dirt with their mouths hanging open. Their eyes darted between her and Kitten, who had begun to groom himself. These fillies were weird.
“You were just playing?!” Scootaloo asked her in disbelief. Widget frowned at the little pegasus.
“Well of course,” she replied, “What else do you think we were doing?”
“Gettin’ eaten?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Why?” Widget asked, puzzled. “Kit is a lot of fun. He seems to like ponies a lot. He plays kind of rough though. I guess most ponies don’t have tough enough hides. They get a little roughed up and then run away. Poor thing must be lonely.”
The girls just looked at her. “Lady, you are one weird pony,” Scootaloo said.
Widget wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Luckily, they had reached her house. “Well, here we are!” she said proudly.
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The crusaders looked in the direction she was pointing. They were standing in a clearing. A small spring bubble up through the ground nearby, forming a tiny stream that disappeared in between the surrounding trees. Beyond the stream, a sheer cliff greeted them. In the face of the cliff, the mouth of a dark cavern yawned. An old fire pit sat outside of it. Widget bent down behind a stalagmite just within the entrance. She pulled out a small lamp. Lighting it with her flame, she beckoned them to follow her.
The three fillies followed her inside, looking around. The feeble lamplight revealed little. There were dark shapes all around them, and angry eyes were glowing at them from all around. They huddled together as Widget put the lamp down and wandered over to fidget with something built into one of the walls.
Suddenly, a bright blue light filled the corner of the room, temporarily blinding them. The fillies blinked and rubbed their eyes. When their vision cleared, they looked around again. The dark shapes and "eyes" from before turned out to be large metal… "things" that seemed to be hastily pushed up against the walls of the large cavern they were sitting in. The floor of the cave was clear of stalagmites, save for a few near the entrance and the columns that helped support the ceiling. Closer inspection revealed that the wyrmkin and snapped them all off near the ground to make the cave more comfortable. The ceiling was relatively intact, but there were a few places stained with smoke, and other spots where the stalactites appeared to have been broken off by a large body smashing into them. Widget had wandered over to the other side of the room. Soon another bright light joined the first, and the cave was lit up with an eerie light. “Go ahead and look around,” Widget said.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo went over to poke at the big pile of scrap metal against the walls. Sweetie Belle decided to take a closer look at the source of the odd blue light. Sitting within a niche in the wall was a chunk of polished blue crystal. Copper and zinc wires were wrapped around the top and bottom of it. The other ends of the wire were attached to… She blinked. “Is that a potato?” the unicorn asked.
“Uh-huh,” Widget said, coming up beside her. “The crystals glow when you run electricity through them. My Papa bought a whole crate of them back from one of his expeditions.”
“That doesn’t explain the potato,” Scootaloo said. She and Apple Bloom had wandered oven to join them.
Widget smiled. “Well, an electric current is produced when you insert the two common metal electrodes into the potato. This causes a chemical reaction to occur resulting in current. The potato does not participate directly in the reaction. It's there rather as an electrolyte to… ”
Widget rambled on. “I’m sorry I asked,” Sweetie Belle muttered.
“She’s as bad as Twilight,” Scootaloo whispered back.
Apple Bloom, who was seated between them, gave them both a nudge. It seemed the wyrmkin was reaching the end of her explanation.
“… and I could give you more details, but those would be kind of boring,” Widget concluded. The fillies looked at her. Apple Bloom was holding a scrap of metal in one of her hooves. “You guys want to try and build something?” she asked them.
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS INVENTORS!” they shouted in response. One of the piles of metal toppled over as the shout echoed through the cave. They looked at her sheepishly.
“Well now we don’t have to dig for parts,” Widget said. “Alright girls! Let’s get started!”
Building stuff was fun, though the projects had a tendency to short circuit of burst into flames for some reason. Widget said explosions were part of the fun of inventing. They had to agree. Even if failing was a little bit discouraging, getting to watch your failure disappear in a flash of light and sound that left your mane singed was kind of invigorating.
In between building attempts, they spent time talking and doing other normal sleep over stuff. They took Sydney out of his pen and played with him for a while. Widget brought out some food. Her Mama’s cookies went over well, even if they didn’t taste quite as good with chocolate in them instead of gem stones. Sweetie Belle even taught her the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ theme song. Widget insisted she write it down. The girls begged her to tell them stories. She was happy to comply. She told them a little about her childhood, and about her family. Tales of her father’s adventures seemed to excite the little fillies especially.
Eventually, the talking petered out as the fillies tried to keep their eyes open and cover increasingly frequent yawns. Smiling, Widget led them through a tunnel at the back of the main cavern. She ushered them past the entrance to the pantry, all the way to the back of the cave system where her sleeping quarters were. The room was relatively empty. There were a few hooks on the walls for her spare set of clothing, a glow rock hanging from the ceiling, a large mirror, and a large ‘nest’ made out of cloth and furs. Widget climbed into bed, and the fillies snuggled in around her. She wrapped her wings around them, and they drifted off to sleep.
Widget smiled down at the three sleeping fillies. They were curled up and snoring softly. They were just like little nestlings. It would be nice to have one of her own someday. Widget scoffed at her own foolishness. As if any stallion or dragon would ever want her. Still, there was no reason why she couldn’t enjoy spending some time with them. Widget untangled herself from their sleeping forms, moving carefully so as not to wake them. She padded into the main room. Sydney chirped at her sleepily from his den. She went over and petted him for a while. Then she picked her way through the debris of their various escapades that night until she found what she was looking for. She pulled out the piece of parchment with the hastily scrawled music notes on it. Time to get to work she thought.
“Good morning girls,” Widget said, waking the fillies from there slumber.
“Five more minutes... ” Scootaloo mumbled.
Widget nudged the orange filly with her nose. “Sorry, nestling, I can’t do that,” she said, “I promised to have you back home before lunch time. It’s already late, and we have a bit of walking to do. You’d better get up now if you want any breakfast.” The fillies hurried to comply. Widget chuckled.
After a quick meal of pancakes - Widget had found a way to cook them using her dragon fire without having to worry about flipping them - they packed up their things. “Hold on a second girls,” Widget said as they placed the last of their stuff in the red wagon. “I’ve got something for you.” Widget smiled and ran over to pull something out from its hiding space behind one of the columns. Smiling proudly, she presented them with a metal music box.
“Thanks ah guess,” Apple Bloom said.
“Wind it up,” Widget insisted.
Apple Bloom wound the crank, and the music box began to play.
“Hey! I know this song!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed. They all did. It was playing the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ theme song. “How’d you do it?” the unicorn asked, “I see why you wanted me to write the notes down, but I only gave it to you last night! How could you build something this fast?”
Widget shrugged. “I’ve always been good at it I guess,” she said.
“Does that mean your special talent is inventing?” Sweetie Belle asked.
Widget nodded.
“That can’t be!” Scootaloo said, “She would have a cutie mark if that were true!” The fillies looked at the wyrmkin.
Widget smiled sadly. “I kind of knew that already,” she said, “I just hoped that if I tried I might find a way to get a cutie mark. I guess I knew deep down it wouldn’t happen. Only ponies get cutie marks.” The girls looked at her sadly. She forced herself to smile at them. “Even so, I had a lot of fun with you guys. Maybe you can come back sometime, and I can teach you about making fireworks.”
“A firework makin’ cutie mark might be nice ah guess,” Apple Bloom said.
Widget smiled and went over to the wagon. “Well we better get going,” she said.
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Widget waved farewell to the three fillies on the edge of town. She turned and headed back to the forest, waiting until her back was turned to let the smile slip off her face. She was too old for such childish behavior and stupid wishes. A freak like her didn't deserve a cutie mark. She had ignored the facts and acted foolish, and now it was coming back to bite her. Still… it had been fun while it lasted.
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The Cutie Mark Crusaders watched their former fourth member disappear into the woods. “She still seems awful sore ‘bout the whole thing, no matter how hard she pretends,” Apple Bloom said.
“Well duh,” Scootaloo responded, “It’s got to be horrible to be the only blank-flank her age in town.”
“I wish we could do something for her,” Sweetie Belle said.
They thought for a moment. Apple Bloom smiled. “Ah got an idea,” she said.
A few days later, Widget was having tea with Fluttershy when she heard a strange noise. A loud buzzing sound came up the road. It grew louder and louder, before ending abruptly with a sickening crunch. The two mares ran around to the front of the house to find the Cutie Mark Crusaders attempting to remove their wagon from one of the bushes.
“Oh hello girls,” Fluttershy said, “What brings you here so early… if you don’t mind telling us?”
“Hello Miss Fluttershy,” Sweetie Belle said, “Sorry about your bush. Scoots still needs to work on stopping.”
“Fine then, next time I’ll let you drive!” Scootaloo retorted, “Then I can be the one to have my lazy flank hauled around town.”
“Lazy?!” Sweetie Belle yelled.
“Now’s not the time fur that!” Apple Bloom said, getting in between them. The two fillies blushed and grinned bashfully. “We got somethin’ fer yah Miss Widget.”
The wyrmkin was surprised. “What is it?” she asked.
The girls grinned. Apple Bloom pulled out something she had been hiding behind her back. “Tah-dah!” the fillies said.
Widget looked at it. It was a picture of a gear with a blue crystal at the center. Over the top of it were a spring, a hammer, and a screwdriver forming a six pointed star. “What is this?” she asked.
“It’s yur cutie mark,” Apple Bloom responded, “We figured since yah haven’t got one of yur own we could at least make yah one.” The two other fillies nodded in agreement.
Widget clutched the drawing to her chest, crying. “T-Thank you girls… I’ll treasure it.”
The fillies smiled at her. Apple Bloom blinked. “Oh shoot! We’re going tah be late fer school!” The unicorn and the earth pony hurriedly jumped into the wagon, and Scootaloo hoped on her scooter.
“Bye Miss Widget, Goodbye Miss Fluttershy!” they called, vanishing into a cloud of dust.
Widget wandered around her house, trying to get all her parts in order. Lately, she found herself wanting to be more organized instead of letting things lay around all over the place. Sydney decided to "help", so Widget had to navigate around him. Every so often, she would glance up the newly framed photo hanging on the wall. In it was a simple drawing, from three of the sweetest fillies in Equestria. She had managed to get her cutie mark after all. Widget smiled. It was a lot prettier than she'd ever imagined it could be. It seemed like it was going to be easy to keep her promise to Mama after all.
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I wonder which promise Widget is thinking about at the end there, the only promise mentioned so far is to not be seen by ponies.
1202643
In the flashback she promised not to try and change herself anymore to fit another pony's standards. Maybe I should just ditch the line... or add the part about her contemplating tattooing her flank.
1202662
Doh - how could I have forgotten that
I recommend leaving it as it is
More story please.
1202909
I'll start writing Cider Season tomorrow.
Well, I've finished "A Cutie Mark," and did it hold up compared to the first episode?
The simple answer is yes. I really liked it.
Let me begin with your spelling and grammar. Again, for the most part, it's flawless (I can't recall a single error in part 2). There were a few mishaps here and there in part 1; you used the wrong you're/your once there. If you'd like, I could probably go through and show you where you made those mistakes.
I also find your prose to be great as well. I would mildly say that I think you may put a bit too much information in your paragraph, but it's not really distracting (at least it isn't for me). Also, as Aburi has somewhat mentioned, that last line is a bit awkward as is.
Your atmosphere and characterization are perfect, methinks. I just really liked this!
Your plot, though, does give me some trouble. Even though it's generally good, I feel as though the sleepover scene was rushed. I think the joy in seeing the fillies try their hand at inventing things, and the awkwardness of trying to accommodate them, was glanced over, to the story's detriment. I think the end (not going to say the ending because spoilers) would've been stronger if we got to see how she enjoyed doing stuff like this more than they did, and she may've thought absentmindedly of it before now. But that's just me.
And I also need to point this out, because this is bothering me:
So let me get this straight: Widget has been a recluse from Ponyville most of her life, and has only recently begun to interact with them. She gets attacked by a bunch of fillies... and she interprets it as playfulness? Playfulness for a dragon, no less? Wait, so does that mean she was NOT an outcast with dragons? And she wasn't frightened by their behavior? She didn't hear them calling her a monster? She wasn't offended by that? Would you please clarify this?
Other than that? I very much enjoyed this episode. You've done two great ones thus far, and I'm glad to be reading this. Expect a review for the next part soon!
1248886
Thanks for the feedback! The dragon Widget was playing with was her mom; I went back and tried to make that a little more obvious. I hope
"Pinkie's Decision" stacks up, it was a hard one to write. Pinkie kept running off with my story. Never let a pony who can break the forth wall direct the plot.
1249073
You did. Thank you.
...
Hopefully you took that as a joke. And I hope it holds up as well; I kinda don't want to give a negative review on this.
You are welcome. I'm only trying to help.