A New Home Part 3
“You know, I really think it’s about time to introduce you to the rest of the girls,” Twilight said one morning, completely out of the blue. Widget frowned. Twilight and Fluttershy had told her about their friends in great detail over the past week, regaling her with tales of their many adventures together. A month ago, the idea would have made her immediately back away in fright. But now, looking into the smiling faces of her friends, she felt warmth in her chest. Widget nodded in agreement. “Great!” Twilight said happily, “I’ll make a checklist so we don’t miss anything, and then we can get going after breakfast!”
“Okay eat breakfast. Check.” Widget watched with mild amazement as Twilight somehow managed to walk and read her checklist at the same time, all whilst balancing Spike on her back. She stopped in the middle of the road next to a large sign. Widget looked around. There was a large red barn, a farmhouse, and many, many apple trees. “Next up is Sweet Apple Acres. I figure we can start there before heading into town.” Widget nodded, but started to shiver a little. Fluttershy patted her comfortingly. The cloaked figure smiled at the yellow pegasus before following Twilight through the gate.
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As they approached the barn, the group found two earth ponies, one orange and the other red, standing outside looking over a strange machine. The orange mare pushed her hat back so she could scratch her head. She sighed. “Well, Big Mac, ah think the old cider maker has done gone and given up the ghost,” she said.
“Eeyup,” the red stallion responded.
“Applejack!” a familiar voice called behind her. The mare turned to greet her. She was surprised to see Twilight and Fluttershy so early in the day, much less with Spike tagging along as well as a new pony. Applejack was astounded to see that Fluttershy did not seem to be afraid of the strangely dressed pony. She went to greet the new pony properly.
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Widget soon found her arm being nearly torn out of its socket from the enthusiastic greeting she was receiving from the mare introduced as Applejack. Being unfamiliar with a hoofshake, she had followed Twilight’s lead and extended her front leg to the earth pony. She was regretting doing so now. At least the stallion didn’t seem inclined to offer her the same rough treatment, merely nodding at her when he was introduced. Widget’s head was rattling so much, it took her a while to tune back into the conversation Twilight seemed to be having with the two farmers.
“So it just stopped working?” Twilight was asking with a frown.
Big Macintosh nodded.
“What are we going tah do?” his sister said, “We got tah get this ol’ hunk of parts up and runnin’ fer this year’s cider season. Ah don’t think we can afford tah buy a new one.”
“Nnnope,” Big Mac agreed.
Widget steeled herself; she knew what she should do. “I can fix it,” she said in a small voice.
Applejack turned to the new mare and looked her over. “You sure sugarcube?” She asked hesitantly.
“She can do it, she’s great with machines,” Twilight told the farmer, making Widget blush.
Applejack mulled it over for a moment before nodding her head. “Well ah guess you can’t break it any worse. Ah’ve got some buckin’ tah do, so you go on ahead an try.” With that Applejack and her brother wandered off to attend to their chores.
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Twilight sighed at her friend's poor choice of words. It didn't bother Widget. She had already gone to work, pulling the side panel off the machine and inspecting the interior. She soon began tinkering away at it with the tools she had pulled from the saddlebags hidden under her cloak. The inventor only stopped to bid farewell to Fluttershy, who had sick animals to attend to, before returning to the task at hand. Twilight sat down under a nearby tree to watch. Spike lay down next to her and dozed off.
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Widget was slightly unnerved by having somepony watching her, even a friend like Twilight. She brushed it aside. It was hard to work while wearing two pairs of boots as well. She longed to remove them so she could use her claws properly, but she knew better than to try. Widget didn’t need to attract any extra attention to herself. The day was beginning to heat up; she was seldom out and about so late. It was odd to be in the brightness of the late morning, but at the same time it felt good. The sun warmed her back as she worked. The task in front of her was interesting as well. It was exciting to be able to look inside a machine and figure out how all the pieces fit together. Widget did not notice as time passed, and the sun drew ever higher in the sky.
Twilight was startled awake by the sound of machinery moving. She glanced up at the sky, finding it was nearly midday. “Oh no!” she cried out, waking the little dragon beside her.
“Hmm? What’s wrong, Twilight?” Spike asked, rubbing his eyes.
“This is terrible! I fell asleep, and now we’re completely off schedule!” Twilight ranted.
Spike rolled his eyes and looked over towards the source of all the noise. “Looks like she fixed it,” he said. The cacophony was caused by Widget running on the treadmill portion of the cider making machine. Twilight blinked. Not only had the mare gotten the machine up and running again, she had also managed to polish the entire thing until it shined.
Applejack and Big Macintosh were drawn back in from the field by the racket. Widget stopped running and came over to meet them. “Well ah’ll be!” Applejack exclaimed, “It looks almost brand new!” The red stallion nodded in agreement. “You really are somethin’ maybe next time ah’ll get ya tah fix up the ol’ plow too. Wouldn’t that be nice, Big Mac?” she asked her brother.
“Eeyup,” he replied happily.
Widget blushed and smiled at them. “I wasn’t able to do as much as I would have liked,” she said, “I only had a few of the basic tools with me. If I had my whole set, I could have even upgraded it for you!” Widget blinked and shuffled. “Of course then it might explode… ” she muttered.
Applejack twitched. “E-explode?” she asked, eyeing the machine uneasily.
Big Macintosh nudged her with one of his large hooves. “Uhh, AJ? What about lunch?” he said.
“Oh right! Where are mah manners! Y’all should join us fer lunch,” Applejack declared.
Twilight sighed. “Well I need time to make a new checklist anyway… ” she said. The farmer seemed to take this as an agreement, for she quickly hustled them all into the farmhouse.
Lunchtime found them all sitting around the table in the Apple family’s house. Widget had been introduced to Granny Smith, and the food was prepared quickly. Spike was stuffing his face, while Big Mac and Granny Smith were eating at a more sedated pace. Twilight was altering between eating and scribbling away at a sheet of paper as she tried to reschedule everything. Applejack was trying to explain the concept of apple pie to Widget. “Ah can’t believe yah never had any!” she declared, “Well if ya’re gonna try it fer the first time, ain’t nothin’ better than one of our pies!” Widget soon found she was right. The ‘apple pie’ was delicious, the flaky crust even made the tin tasty.
After lunch, Twilight brought out her new checklist. “Okay! Now we go into Ponyville,” she said. Widget looked rather nervous at this declaration. Twilight smiled at her new friend. “Don’t worry,” the unicorn assured her, “Spike and I will be with you the whole way.” This seemed to cheer Widget up immensely.
They bid farewell to the Apple family and headed out. “Well she seems nice,” Applejack said to Big Macintosh, “A little odd, but nice all the same.”
“Eeyup,” Big Mac replied.
The orange mare looked around and frowned. “Are we missin’ a pie tin?”
Widget fidgeted constantly as the trio made their way into town. There were ponies absolutely everywhere. Widget felt their eyes boring holes into her cape. Even so, she was also filled with a great deal of glee. She stared at everything with the open fascination of a foal. There was just so much to see here. Ponies walked the many streets and flew through the air. They shopped, they chatted, they ate lunch at little cafes on the street. She saw a yellow earth pony with an orange mane tending to a vegetable garden. A grey pegasus with a pale yellow mane appeared to be delivering mail. A mint green unicorn sat on a bench with a cream coated earth pony with a blue and pink mane, watching the world go by. There were many more ponies as well. A parade of colors danced before Widget's eyes. "Is this what it was like everyday here?" she wondered. "There's so much going on!"
They had stopped in the middle of town before a most peculiar building. It looked just like the gingerbread house Papa had brought her that one year for Hearth's Warming Eve. Widget sniffed it. She was disappointed to find that it was not actually made of food. However, the smells coming from inside were just as delightful as the house looked. Widget looked at the sign hanging from the building, which looked like a large cupcake. She pondered over what purpose it could serve.
Widget's ruminations were interrupted by a pink streak that rushed from the doorway of the shop, before solidifying into the excited pony standing before her. Startled, she jumped back slightly. The tinkerer examined the pony before her with apprehension. It was a pink earth pony with a poofy pink mane, and a picture of balloons on her rump. Widget blinked and realized that said pony had been yammering on at them the entire time.
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"Hi Twilight! Hi Spike!" Pinkie Pie greeted her friends, "What brings you to Sugarcube Corner today? You want some muffins, or maybe some cupcakes, or oh! Maybe a whole cake! Oh oh wait who's this!" Pinkie Pie looked over at Widget.
"This is Widget," Twilight said, "She's new and I'm showing her around Pony--"
"Oh a new pony! I should have known because you see I know everypony here and by that I mean every pony! So since I don't know you that means you must be new. *gasp* If you're new here that means I get to break out the welcome wagon!" Pinkie Pie bounced off.
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Widget blinked in confusion and glanced at Twilight for help. The purple pony merely pulled out her list. "Meet Pinkie Pie. Check," she said, "Now we wait for... whatever it is she's going to do to welcome you." Widget decided she was obviously not going to be of any use.
Mere moments later, Pinkie had dragged out a large cart with a button on the side. Despite her apprehension, Widget was eager to see what this 'welcome wagon' would do. Grinning hugely, Pinkie pushed the button. The top of the wagon sprung open, revealing horns, waving flags, tooting whistles, and what appeared to be a tiny oven. This, combined with the pink pony's vibrant song and dance number, left Widget frozen in place, despite said pony marching around her with several musical instruments. The number ended as quickly as it began, as Pinkie struck a pose and the small oven behind her dinged. The door flew open, spraying the group with yellow goo. This was almost immediately followed by a spray of confetti out of the top of the machine. For a moment, everything was still.
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"Pinkie! What did you do?!" Twilight yelled. Her friend had mentioned this "welcome wagon" of hers before, but the librarian clearly hadn't anticipated the results of an encounter with it. Being covered in goo and speckled with streamers was definitely not part of her checklist.
"I don't know, Twilight," Pinkie responded, "I made sure to put the batter and the confetti in the right spots this time." She smeared her hoof in the mess and licked it. "Oh! this isn't cake mix, its pudding! No wonder it didn't cook!"
Twilight seemed unimpressed at this revelation. She glanced around for her two companions. Spike was doing his best to lick all the pudding off himself. Twilight made a note on her checklist to make sure to give him a bath later. Widget was surprisingly unaffected by the gloop. She was busy inspecting Pinkie's machine, and currently had her head shoved inside the oven.
"Oh! I almost forgot I have a welcome party to plan! How could I have almost forgotten something as important as that? If I had forgotten everyone would be sad and then that would make me sad and... Oh I just remembered I'm out of streamers! I need to go to the store and get some. See you later guys!" With that, Pinkie Pie and her cart vanished.
Widget seemed to be put out by the fact that her investigation had been interrupted. She looked to the unicorn for guidance. Twilight sighed. "It's a good thing that visiting the library was next on my list. Come on, lets go get cleaned up."
After a quick shower and an explanation to Widget about "Pinkie Pie just being Pinkie Pie", Twilight was ready to go. Widget has refused to remove her cloak; she was content to merely wipe off the offending substance with the towel Twilight has given her. They made their way over to Rarity's boutique. Twilight stopped outside the door. From the sound of it, Rarity was off on one of her tirades again. "Of all the things that could happen! This is The. Worst. Possible. Thing!" the voice from inside cried. Twilight sighed and opened the door. Spike rushed in eagerly, while Widget lagged slightly behind, looking at everything cautiously.
Widget was surprised to see so many clothes in one place. They came in so many styles and colors, and the sheer amount was just staggering. Only owning two sets of clothes herself, she couldn't fathom what one could possibly do with it all. "Why would a pony need so many clothes?" she thought. "Can't you only wear one set at a time?" She wandered over to join Twilight and Spike, who seemed to be doing their best to comfort a white mare with a purple mane, who had flung herself on a handily located couch next to what appeared to be a pony made out of cloth.
"It's awful, Twilight, simply awful!" the fashionista was saying, "I was 'in the zone' as it were, working on my latest creation when catastrophe struck! I had to have some gems imported for this outfit. A rare set of dragon's eye agate, and now I'm one short! However will I finish in time for the deadline?"
Widget cocked her head and wrinkled her muzzle at such a display. She must have missed something important, because she couldn't understand what the big crisis was. She looked over at the suit draped over the mannequin, which appeared to be the source of the problem. The suit was odd. It was covered in gems and cut strangely. Widget couldn't see what the point of it was. There was a blank spot in the middle of the chest of the outfit, presumably where the missing gem was to go. Widget frowned at it. The surrounding gems looked familiar to her. She grinned as she realized where she had seen them before. Her mother had given her a sack of these for her birthday a few years back. If she remembered correctly, she still had one in her saddlebags somewhere.
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Rarity was interrupted from her tirade by a slightly grubby looking object being pushed in front of her face. Her initial reaction was to recoil away from it, but she stopped when she realized what it was. Her mouth fell open. "I-Is that what I think it is?" she breathed. Snatching it out of the holder's grasp with her magic, she brought it into the light to inspect it. "It is!" she exclaimed, "It's a little dirty, but this is the largest piece of dragon's eye agate I have ever seen! Where ever did you get this? Why with this the outfit will be twice-no three times better! Thank you ever so much." She glanced at the bearer of the gift and froze again, this time for an entirely different reason.
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Widget had been pleased that her gift had been so well received, but now she began to wilt under the white unicorn's sharp gaze. "What on Equestria are you wearing?" Rarity demanded, "Oh it's simply horrid! So dull and shapeless, and ever so ragged! Where did you get such a crime against fabulousity?" Widget merely shrugged. "Well it simply won't do! I'll have to make you another one right away. Now take that horrid thing off at once so that I can put it in the trash where it belongs!"
There was only one response to this. "HISSSS!" Widget said, then bolted out of the building.
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Rarity stared at the door for a while, shaken by the stranger's outburst. "Who was that?" she asked.
"That was Widget. She's... kind of attached to her cape," Twilight explained, "I've never seen her take it off. She's a bit odd. She seems to be a great inventor, though she lives as a recluse in the Everfree forest. I don't think she interacts with anypony normally."
Rarity cleared her throat. "Well," she said, "That explains a few things. Would you thank her again for me? I assume I will see her again tonight if Pinkie knows there is a new pony in town." Twilight agreed, then left the boutique, dragging a reluctant Spike along behind her.
Twilight found Widget hiding in the bushes a little ways from Rarity's house. The embarrassed pony was reluctant to leave her shelter. She seemed to understand her behavior was wrong, and yet was unable to help herself. Twilight found herself wondering what exactly her new friend was hiding underneath that cape. Shaking her head, she pushed that thought aside and concentrated on extracting the reluctant pony from the bush.
"Well," Twilight said after she had finally gotten Widget back out in the open, "We have a few hours before Pinkie's party. I have some work to do for Princess Celestia, will you be okay for a little while?" Widget nodded. All the excitement had left her in desperate need of a nap. Right now she would be happy to find a nice tree to curl up in, Twilight was wiling to give directions to the park, before heading back to the library.
Widget made her way through the park, doing her best to avoid the other ponies who were already there. She could only stand to meet so many new faces in a day. Finally, she found an area away from the others. There was a tall tree there, with several flat branches that looked perfect for sleeping in. Widget glanced around. There was no one nearby. Pulling her cape to one side, she leaped into the air, flapping her wings clumsily. She misjudged the angle of her ascent, and crashed into the branch she was aiming to land on with a loud "OOF!" She shook her head and readjusted her cape. She was surprised to find a pillow and blanket already there. "These ponies really do think of everything!" she thought happily. Widget curled up on top of the pillow with a happy sigh, and quickly drifted off to sleep.
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Rainbow Dash was rather grouchy. Her afternoon nap had been interrupted by an annoyed Applejack yelling at her to "get outa mah apple tree!" The rainbow maned pegasus headed for another favorite spot of hers in the park. There was a large tree there away from everypony, which was great to sleep in. Her eyes were already closing as she flew up to the branch where she had left her pillow and blanket form the last time she had crashed here. She lay down and closed her eyes. "Why does my pillow smell like pudding?" she muttered drowsily. The pegasus drifted off to sleep.
"Widget!" a voice called, waking the cloaked pony from her rest. She immediately panicked over the large weight that was resting on her back. She flailed about in fear.
This quickly woke the cyan mare, who did some flailing of her own over the fact that her pillow was moving. The end result was the both of them crashing to the ground in a tangled heap. Twilight looked down at the two of them, mouth hanging open. "What the hay, Twilight!" Dash cried out angrily, "What's the big idea interrupting my nap... hey who the heck are you?" Rainbow jabbed an accusing hoof at her former "pillow". The stranger ran off.
"Aww, Rainbow, you scared her!" Twilight said.
Rainbow wasn't paying any attention. "Her tail was... " the pegasus muttered to herself.
Twilight frowned at her. "Well it's good you're here anyway," the unicorn said, "Pinkie Pie has a party ready for us at Sugarcube Corner. I managed to convince her to limit it to the eight of us so Widget doesn't freak out. The others are there already, we need to find Widget and get going." Twilight helped Rainbow to her feet, before heading off to look for the missing pony.
Widget seemed to loosen up greatly when she realized she wouldn't have to meet with a whole herd of ponies. She spent most of the time talking to Fluttershy, though she took the time to apologize to Rarity properly. Pinkie even managed to drag her out of the corner and teach her the pony pokey. Widget had trouble with some of the steps; her cape kept getting in the way. Throughout the whole thing, Rainbow Dash watched from the corner with a frown on her face. "What's the matter sugarcube?" Applejack asked her. The pegasus's reaction was immediate.
"Whats wrong? WHAT'S WRONG?!" Dash yelled, "What's wrong is everypony is ignoring the fact that we know practically nothing about this pony!" Widget cowered away in fear.
"Rainbow Dash! That's not nice!" Twilight stated.
"Maybe you let that cloak of her's fool you, Twilight, but I've seen what's underneath it! Her tail was all weird and she and big old bat wings! Who's to say she isn't a changeling or something?!" An awkward silence followed.
"Don't be silly, Dashie!" Pinkie Pie piped up, "If she was a changling she wouldn't need a cape! She could just turn into anypony she wanted to!" Rainbow wasn't sure how to respond to that.
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Widget shivered. Mama had been right after all. Talking to ponies brought nothing but trouble.
"Umm...I don't think she's a bad pony," Fluttershy said suddenly. Widget glanced at her in surprise.
Twilight nodded. "I've had many conversations with her about physics and mathematics that were quite enlightening."
"She makes awesome cookies," Spike added.
"She helped mah family out of a heap ah trouble, even if she did steal mah pie tin" Applejack stated. Widget blinked. She wasn't supposed to eat that?
"She helped me out with my design immensely, even if she does wear that awful cape," Rarity said with a sniff. Widget blushed slightly.
Dash's stare had softened visibly. "I guess you do know about the importance of a good nap," she admitted.
Their words...Widget never felt like this before. It had always been just her and her parents, and then just her alone. 'Friends' had never been a concept she put much thought into. Her mother kept her away from the world, protecting her from the rage that would come their way if the others of her kin knew of Widget's existence. Her father had done his best to help educate her. He brought her books, and souvenirs from his travels. Still, her life had been a lonely one. She had filled countless hours with her pointless tinkering. Even as she moved on to find a cave of her own, little had changed. Her world was still empty. She realized now that was what kept calling her back to these ponies, ever since the day one of her silly inventions landed her squarely in their view. Maybe... maybe she wouldn't have to hide anymore.
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The rest of the room was startled by the sound of ripping fabric. They turned to see...Widget, standing there without anything to hide behind. Her coat was a deep emerald color which gradually lightened to the light green of the underbelly. The coat itself was odd, it shone like a gemstone as she moved. Her mane seemed to be made of thin strands of gold wire, gleaming in the light. Her eyes, large and amber, were cast down towards the floor. She had her ears pulled back flat against her head. On her back, a pair of large, bat-like wings fluttered as she flicked them restlessly. Long 'fingers' tipped with black claws held thin gold membranes stretched between them, shot through with veins as fine as gold filigree. Her legs looked like those of a pony's, but they ended in a blunt set of claws. Her tail bore a striking resemblance to Spike's, though it was a different color and lacked the spines his had. Standing before them was what Twilight could only figure was a creature that, according to the books she had read, should not exist. She was looking at the child of a pony and a dragon.
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Widget stared at the floor. She didn't dare look up. She had taken a big risk, letting them all in on her big secret. She twitched nervously as seven sets of eyes inspected her closely. Part of her wished to simply run off into the night and never look back. She frowned. She was tired of running, tired of hiding. But what would she do if they.... Widget's train of thought was interrupted by a gentle hoof stroking her mane. "It's soft!" Pinkie declared, mildly surprised. Frowning at her poor manners, Applejack grabbed her tail and pulled her back. Fluttershy seemed to be the least surprised out of all of them. Spike wandered over and pulled on her tail, as if to see if it was real or not.
Twilight was the next to approach. "So, are you really a... " she began.
Widget backed up a bit. "My Mama was a dragon, and Papa was a pegasus."
"But how is that even possible?" Rainbow Dash demanded.
"They never told me much about how they met." Her eyes met Dash's, whose face betrayed disbelief. She quickly added, "Mama says she's always been a bit soft for a dragon. That's why she lived away from the rest of them, and why she met Papa."
Applejack ventured a step closer to her. "Yer... father?"
Widget nodded. "My Papa is a valiant explorer. He spends his days mapping the furthest corners of Equestria, though he always makes sure to be home for any holiday." Widget chuckled as she recalled a memory of him trying to decorate their cave for Hearth's Warming Eve. He'd ended up tangled in the string of lights he had been trying to hang.
"Mama taught me what she knew about ponies, and Papa helped the best he could." She then became crestfallen. "Mama told me never to talk to ponies. She'd be mad if she could see me right now... " Widget began to cry.
Twilight placed a gentle hoof on her shoulder and smiled at her. "We're glad to have you here," she said simply. Widget smiled. She was finally home.
"Of course we're glad you're here!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed,"With you around, there's bound to be a ton of cool explosions!"
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I had doubts, but this is actually pretty good!
This is one of very few stories that I would recommend a re-write for. There was far too much that was glossed over the first two chapters, this last chapter just proves that the whole story could be totally awesome with more attention.
Well, you gave permission to, in your own words, "beat the snot out of [your] story," so here I am. I was a bti confused about the whole part 1-part-2-etc. stuff, but then I discovered that these are episodic segments. So I'll review them separately. I'm not sure if, in my later reviews, I should try and connect these events to previous episodes; please let me know about that.
I know you want me to be as harsh as I can with your story . . . but you may want to ask another critic to rip this apart. My impression of this episode is almost-entriely positive.
Let me begin with spelling and grammar. You've rewritten this, you've put it through a lot of work, and it shows. It's almost flawless. There were a few confused words (I remember you using the word "whose" when you should've used "who's" and the word "shear" when you meant "sheer"), and there were a few missing hyphens. Also, there were a few stray errors I saw (one in the park that led to a run-on sentence: "Widget made her way through the park, doing her best to avoid the other ponies who were already there, She could only stand to meet so many new faces in a day."), but nothing too consistent or completely distracting. Very well done.
Now moving on to your prose. For the most part, it's great. I personally like the tone and feel of this episode. I think at times you rambled on in a single paragraph, like this:
But other than that, I enjoyed the style.
Moving on to more important matters!
Your atmosphere was very nice. It was very lax, which gave it a pleasant feel. It had a very mellow tone where it needed to, and the characters' reactions to stuff was especially nice.
You have quite a colorful cast here.
-Widget was very enjoyable to read about. Her characterization was very nice to read about. I just hope I can find a personal character flaw to her: is she mistrusting? Is she too meticulous? I hope I can find something about it soon, because she came off as a bit too skilled for me (Not a serious criticism)
-You DID kinda leave Syndey out of the later part of this. I'm not sure why.
-The rest of the cast is in character, and I really liked it.
And then we get on to your plot. I'll just say it now, and this is rare for me, methinks: I don't have a problem with it. Aburi said there was stuff glanced over, and I don't know if that was fixed or not, but I was very satisfied with what I read.
Overall, I really like what I've read thus far. The show-characters are in character and interesting, while Widget seems interesting herself (despite missing a readily-seen character flaw, unless I missed that), while your atmosphere and writing style are very enjoyable. There are a few errors here and there that could easily be corrected, and I have to wonder what happened to Sydney.
Nonetheless, this is getting a favorite from me.
I hope the later parts hold up from here. Expect a review tomorrow.
1236123
I know it was kind of unnatural, but I felt I had to explain her background.
Any suggestions on how to smooth it out a little?
As for Sydney, Widget is leaving him home for a while. He still shows up now and again.