Luna wakes up after another long night of gaming and get's an e-mail from Celestia, telling her to take a break from her computer.
Telling Luna that she got a surprise for her convinces her to take a break, mainly because she's very curious.
What happens next? That you'll have to see for yourselves in the story.
Page generated in 0.143 seconds
Total duration
883 users online
1,319,972 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
This is exceptionally well done. Good job sir!
1161507 I'm glad you like it, thank you!
1161535
added to read later... seems promising
Me gusta!
I enjoyed this very mucho. Also, FOURTH
1161559 I aim to please, thank you!
Very good!
Nice little random fic.
Dunno why you had to put a human in there, where that person actually came from and whatnot - but I guess I can look through my fingers at that.
Loved it. Very nice. Cute. I liked your sound effects.
I would recommend hopping onto the proofreader's group and snag one of those guys to help you improve your writing and grammar. They're prepared to take their time out to help you.
1161584 Thank you!
1161605 I guess I've read too many HiE-stories... I'm glad you like it, and thank you for the feedback!
1161629 Thank you, I appreciate it! I joined that group you spoke of, thank you for recommending me to do so.
1161668
Btw, I already invented a thingy to help other ponies use the computer -- strap-ons on hooves with small lumps, large enough to bump just one key at a time. It might not be as fast as typing with 10 digits, but still
1161668 Oh, and join the Writer's Group as well. Tell them I sent you.
I'm putting this up now cut it will probubly be featured, cuz you did good!
I READ IT BEFORE IT WAS FETURED!!!!!!
I only see one small mistake, namely this: It was soon time for Celestia to lower the sun and rise the moon, since Luna was free on this day.
It should be "RAISE the moon". Other than that, very very good job!
1161697 It sounds like a great concept!
1161701 Did that a moment ago.
1161730 Do you think it's that good!? Well, thank you!
1161775 Thank you for pointing that out, I've corrected it. I'm glad you liked it!
Very nicely done. Some spots where 'were' needs to be used instead of 'was', but for the most part very well done. This could be an exercise to help with your english :D
Try to find yourself an editor; that would help make this a bit more readable and smooth. Creative story, and definitely random.
1161853 a fic with 37 likes got featured, yours will most likely too
1161863 Thank you!
Yeah, knowing where and when you should 'were' or 'was is not easy, but, practice makes perfect. 
1161871 Will try to do that. I appreciate your feedback, thank you!
1161884 That sounds promising!
Be vewy vewy quiet! I'm hunting wabbots.
Rarity : Pinkie Pie what does the scouter says about her power level ?
is best pwny
Pinkie Pie : IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND !!!!!
BTW
This better b gud
*READS*
Oh sweet jesus it's
BEAUTIFUL!!!!
Dis story r worthy of a bro-hoof.
1161956 Thank you! Beautiful?
i like it.
1162011 Thank you! Brohoof! /)
Cool.
1162023
It's MARVELOUS!!!!
Tooo fucking....ungh..
IT'S SP FUCKING MAREVELOUS!!!!!
i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg557/lerainbowdash/th_mlfw5795-18960.gif
(I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND THE SHIT I HAD TO GO THRU TO GET YOU THIS PIC)
As an author of a Gamer Luna fan fic, I find this to be blasphemy!
Still, I will read this.
1162029 I'm glad you do!
1162056 Thank you!
1162082 A thousand thanks to you! I really appreciate it!
1162119
THIS IS TOO GOOD FOR OUR EXISTANCE I REQUEST MOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR
1162126 Wow, I'm going to try to get a new story up within the two next weeks...
trying to figure out what and who it should be about at the moment...
1162305 I recommend a crossover.
Maybe a Minecraft or Dead Space one- those are always great if done right
it's a pretty nice fic. Celestia didn't do anything of certain unlikeable Anti Celestia memes, just good sisterly love. the plot was atad confusing, like, the part where Twilight knew a human. i mean, humans in equestia? but still, it was meant to a nice story, slightly odd and confusing plot aside.
1162368 Yeah, that sounds like something I'd be able to do... time will tell what I'll write...
1162381 Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.
And as I mentioned in an earlier comment, I've read too many HiE-stories... 
I will try to avoid any confusions involving humans in the future, if I don't write a pure HiE-story that is. 
1162449 thanks.
you got inspired by an assassin? Oh shit an assassin writes fan fictions?
I joke. Anyway it was great, humorous and very entertaining. However it seems to have plot holes as to
who is john
what is the joke that light tells.
Although those were probably not the main part of the story it should have a small explaination of john the human. Lack of descriptiveness. It seems to be simply describing events but not telling the story of emotions. Luna is more stick in the mud than Celestia and socially awkward so you must emphasize on that. (Such as she would say things that are socially awkward like or constantly repeats what she says to get the really bad joke across.)
Overall this story is very funny but I wanted to see more tricks with the cars.
1162409
Try mapping it out first since it'll take you awhile-that way it's not an as-you-go fic
I mean unless you can handle that.
Then jizz(I wants a Dead Space if you can :3)
1162460 Haha, I think it'd be awesome if an assassin wrote fanfics!
I'm glad you liked despite it's minor flaws and I'll take the things you said into consideration when I write my next story. Thank you for your advices. 
1162491 I'll write down my ideas and so on in the future... This story took a couple of days to complete with school, writer's blocks and other distractions along the way that slowed me down. I haven't played Dead Space very much, so I'm afraid that a Dead Space crossover have to wait...
1162604
D'oh!
Close enuff can't wait for your next story :D
1162634 Brohoof? /)
1162644
DENIED!
JK
(\
Wow, this is really good. Though, from the title I expected something that had more to do with video games (at least a rage-quit or something) and I was surprised that most of the story had to do with the toy cars, but over all it was pretty good. I'll fave it.
Also I have no doubt in my mind that this will be featured.
1162705 First I was like:
But then I was like: 
I'll admit that the plot is a bit odd, I'm glad you liked it! 
1162763 Thank you!
1162793
Like a sir....Troll..SirTraoll
This was great!
1162813 Eyup!
1162854 Thank you!
1162888
Can't wait for moar
not bad...
1162888 You're welcome!