Twilight and friends

This summer,The mane 6,Young 6,And CMC went to the island of sodor.
They met found Thomas and his friends.Twilight tried to help by turning into an engine like Thomas.But,She ended up causing confusion and delay.How will she and Thomas deal with this?find out.

(You might notice Rosie might come to Sodor sooner than expected.Also,Pinkie pie has her voice from ‘Hello,Pinkie.’ And Spike has his voice from Pony life.)

Chapters (2)

Comments ( 11 )

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Lawton

Lawton #1 · Sep 19th, 2020 · 1 · 1 · Part 02 ·

Is anyone gonna comment my story?

Lawton

Lawton #2 · Oct 19th, 2020 · · · Part 02 ·

10441776
Who liked this comment?

Wessexbrony

Wessexbrony #3 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · · · Part 02 ·

This isn't bad, but there do seem to be some issues. There aren't any spaces between sentences and it seems to be very fast-paced.

Lawton

Lawton #4 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · · · Part 02 ·

10512184
Oh!Its nothing.

The Blue EM2

The Blue EM2 #5 · Dec 25th, 2020 · · · Part 01 ·

Good idea, but there are a number of problems. The first issue is spacing of words. For example, you have this;

“Alright.Let’s go.”Said Twilight with pride backing up to the train.She tried to move,But the trucks were being troublesome again.
“Hold back!Hold back!”They chuckled.”Hehehehe!”

It should be this;

“Alright. Let’s go.” Said Twilight with pride backing up to the train. She tried to move, but the trucks were being troublesome again.
“Hold back! Hold back! ”They chuckled.” Hehehehe!”

The story also has breakneck pacing, going faster than a Javelin tearing down HS1.

Lawton