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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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omg omg omg i soooo want to read it but i cant :(
Why you gotta kill my favorite characters, man? You're tearing me up inside! Like always with your work, absolutely stunning chapter.
holy crap, Fuzzy - the ending is close. I can taste it.
Is it dusty in here, or is it just me?
Damn! I had a feeling that there was a 50/50 chance of Protege dying. I really wanted to believe that it wouldn't happen, but it did. It also pisses me off that Shackles is still alive. Hey, if he was dead, you'd make sure we know that he was dead. At least the bomb should've weakened him though; that should make putting him down easier. Still, another chapter well done Fuzzy! I can hardly wait for what should be the last bit of this journey (although I'm hoping for an epilogue to wrap things up like all the other stories do, just thinking out loud). Here's to saving the foals, the survival of our characters, and Murky's freedom!
I must applaud you, and hate you at the same time. I loved prodigy man
And it hurts that you had him killed.
Well, you did it. This marks as the fifth time I've been bummed about the death of a character in any of the FO:E stories I've read.
Why must you hurt me this way, Fuzz?
I'd just like to say that you are perhaps the best author I have ever had the privilege to read works of. The way you describe everything, the intense immersion, everything about the way you write is absolutely phenomenal. Dont ever let anyone tell you otherwise, this piece of work is the best thing, let alone fanfic, that I have ever read. Keep up the fantastic work.
Shackles certainly hasn't given up on getting Murky and Unity.
He certainly isn't a soft pony. Though I suppose that point was made clear with how much Brimstone had to put an effort into winning that hoovewrestling match. I certainly hope this might have shrunk down the numbers of ponies helping Shackles underground, I don't think they have the numbers otherwise to save the kids. I hope they can find more help to help them save the children.
Rest in peace, old friend. You made it to freedom.
Hell of a ride, as ever. Knock em dead Murky.
What a wild ride.
Oh Goddesses, what am I going to do with all these feels?!?!
PROTEGE NOOOOOO!!!
Caduceus, Ragini, Mister Peace... now P-P-Protege!! *cries loudly*
Fuzzy, whyyyy? Why must this have so many feels?! Who's going to be next?!?! I'm scared for the next chapter! Someone is going to die, and the only characters left to die are the ones that I love most!!!
I love this story. The sooner the next chapter is up, the better. I need a conclusion. I need to see murky free, or die trying.
Had a feeling someone would die this chapter.
Once I figured out it was going to be Protégé, I was hoping it would be him doing a heroic suicide by detonating the bomb and catching himself and Shackles in the explosion.
But, no such luck. I'm rather irate that Shackles is still out there, but...at least Protégé got a happier end than going out in an explosion. He got to taste freedom and see the outside world as a free pony before he breathed his last.
I suppose that's for the best, then.
On a side note, it cracked me up that Coral was the one to break that slaver for information instead of Brimstone, and pretty much just by showing up.
Also, now Murky's equipped with a fully-operation Pipbuck with E.F.S.
Time to get those foals and finish this.
7256728
If you love your characters, its important to kill one now and again to keep the others on their toes. Well written, not quite what I expected.
I suspect Murky will not leave Filly alive. Coral and Brim might die too. This is FOE. A TPK is not out of the question. Oh you hung with me for 30 chapters? Death, death to all the characters. Mwu ha ha ha ha. Heck, Murky might still snap and turn evil. "Hello father." Probably not though. You never can tell with FOE and mind melting magic though. Lets not forget what Shackles has down there.
7259887
Be patient. Things take as long as they take. I'd rather have a well written ending then a rush job. Its been great so far.
Murky! Bucking blow shackles operation sky high and be sure he doesn't live to regret it. I can't stand that
bastardslaver any longer.I can't believe he's dead... 7258815 You siad it.
This was beautiful. Thank you.
I wish I could say I was surprised by the death, but I kinda saw it coming the minute Protege tried to redeem himself.
But, ugh, right in the feels.
I am now deathly afraid of what will happen from this point forward. As was already said multiple times, the characters going back in are ones I like and I know, this being a FoE fic, the death isn't over yet.
Keep it up Fuzzy!
FP
So worth the wait can't wait to read more
If you kill everyone else, I'll never forgive you.
EVER!!!
So salty about Protege but at least he had a fitting death unlike my favorite char from the original FoE. Great chapter even tho you threw my heart on the ground and called me an idiot boy.
i saw the spoilers and i don't know if i want to read it man noo not him
ok i read it there now im bawling like a baby and listening to sad music point for you asshole
..... i loved it
A fitting end for Protege. Rest in peace you caring, brave soul.
It does seem odd, almost wrong that Shackles is likely still out there, after what feels like what should have been a final confrontation, and an end to his legacy. But maybe you have something even better planned....
Either way, I'm gonna go let my heart stop beating so quickly and bawl my eyes out.
I had a feeling from the moment I saw the chapter title something gut-wrenching like this was gonna happen.
Still, it sets everything up pretty well for the big finish. Man, I can't believe this fic is so close to wrapping up. It's gonna feel like the end of an era for me, when this finally ends.
7274203 Murky should get to kill shackles
Time to wait for another chapter to see who dies next.
Is this the first time Murky actually landed his bullet into his intended target? I can't recall any other times Rarity's Grace had been fired with actual use in combat other than psyching his attackers out.
Sigh. And damn it hurts to see Protege die. As soon as Protege and Murky headed back to the wall I knew it was a setup meant to give Murky a final showdown with Shackles and have Protege be taken out to show how serious the whole bit was. But I dreaded it the whole time. It's honestly getting hard to keep reading. It's powerful as a story but every emotional "up" is bashed back down with a vengeance.
This story is amazing. You should make a book.
I think Shackles should be killed by his name sake. Killed chocking on chains and shackles.
great chapter, as always. this chapter was beyond powerful, and not just in reference to the bomb. i sincerely hope that shackles is really dead, but i really doubt it since murky STILL has that SATS charge, and i assume it's going to be used for a good purpose. i'm honestly a lot more interested still in the monsters in the subway. to me, they are scarier by infinity+1 than shackles. i would love a prequel story written from someone who was there before when filly was hellish, maybe weathervane, course that kinda kills what makes them so absolutely terrifying
7293588 i thank you greatly for your spoiler. if i had read the story and gotten to said spoilered section without knowing what would have happened, i would need a new laptop. your spoiler lessened the blow enough that i only needed a few tissues.
7318216 It feels strange being thanked for that. But if it helps than I'm glad.
One of the highest quality fics I've ever read on any fandom. Fuzzy should be a full time author. I'm actually surprised this is an MLP fanfic!
any info on the next chapter?
It really angers me how Protégé got killed right on the cusp of freedom like that, and by Shackes no less! I really hope Murky and the rest can pull together to give that sick psychopath everything he deserves. I can think of serveral different ways they could have taken Shackels out early, but then we wouldn't have had much of a story left without the main antagonist...
7361379
I'm sure you aren't alone in thoose thoughts!
7355802
Approx 25% complete. :)
7345364
Thank you for such praising comment. Ideally, I'd love to work on something more original after this, I'm still sorta stuck on ending this right for now though. Several other story ideas exist, though!
7318216
The idea of a prequel story is actually something I really wanted to write for a while, but not necessarily an MN7 prequel, moreso writing one that follows Red Eye from leaving his Stable to coming to power in Fillydelphia, including some of MN7's cast in my "version" of Filly, such as (as you say) Weathervane, how he took Filly from Shackles originally and including his first meeting of Protégé while he was still a slave. It's a project that is 99% likely to never happen, but it's one I like to theorycraft on. It's just a little too big a scale to move onto now, especially using the same setting.
7297545
I really want to!
7293588
You've made it this far! :) I'm glad that its connected as emotively. There's just the finale to go now, for whatever happens.
7268068
Protégé's entire character arc was often focused around his growing to see the truth and in how he would respond to it, and in him showing who he really was once the shackles were taken off. I only hope that seeing him at his best was what mattered, more than anything else. Protégé is a joy to write for.
And if there is appropriate tension, then that's as it should be and as I intended it. There's never any guarentees.
7274203
Oh, I always have my plans. :)
7261073
Glad to hear the enthusiasm, it's all ramping up into this. It's where it's all led to and more than anybody else I'm stunned that it's even gotten to here. I never dared imagine it would.
And of course Coral is the one to do that. It's the best rule of survival in the wasteland; never mess with wasteland moms!
7429063
Oh, you poor thing...it gets so much worse!
7361379 Based on how this fanfic constantly deconstructs traditional audience expectations, I have a feeling the final confrontation between Murky and Shackles would be like nothing we've seen before. And that's not bad in the slightest.
You did it, you made me cry.
Amazing work, can't wait for the rest!
That was a powerful end to the chapter. As much as I hate to see the death of a beloved character it was well done, from the reason to the poetic end.
I wanted to make an observation: Shackles is actually losing control, even as he asserts he is not.
He was "one step ahead of them" but... the plan was to hope they don't find a way to detonate the bomb. It was a highly risky plan, and the fact that in the climax there was a desperate fight with him... in the old days, could you conceive of Shackles having to put himself in harms way like this?
Last time he did it was this "oh shit he's tougher than we thought" moment, but after this chapter... I think it's clear these are increasingly desperate measures by him. He takes more risks and they are increasingly not paying off.
This is a master piece too bad its gonna end soon
Dear Author Fuzzy,
OMG I caught up. I thought it was complete, but it isn't and I finally caught up This is such an amasing fic, I have read FOE, FOE Heroes, FOE Project Horizons and FOE Pink Eyes, and this is on par with all of those, if not better than some. This gave me so much feels But it was worth it. Thanks so much Fuzzy, for producing this masterpeice
Your Faithful Reader,
Stealthaxe
7533453
*Masterpeice
You know, I stopped reading this story years ago when I stopped being able to dedicate enough time to read through 30K word chapters. That would have been back when "Like Father, Like Son" came out. And, well, I was honestly a bit disappointed that Murky had made such progress, only to get smacked back to where he started--nay, worse than when he started.
I came back here because I saw that it looked to be nearing its end. And in the past three days, I have shotgunned through all ~523K words of that. I am sitting here at 5:30 AM, having read for the past seven hours because at the end of each chapter, I would say, "I can manage one chapter more to find out what happens." And now we settle in for the long wait for a new chapter.
7628793
It's exactly 5:30 am for me too as I typed this, after I stopped reading a while ago (for me, last Spring) than binged the whole thing 'til the end (From mid-chapter 9). Except I'm not the fastest reader and I tend to read this story one third the speed I do other stories with frequent needs to take a break or losses of focus (I find this story just as much a Everest-like trial as I do an adventure) and I've been binge-reading this story every day for over a month.
Anyway, it's been insane.
Well . . . . I finally caught up. Have an insanely huge comment for one insanely huge story.
What can I say? Like I've said before
Every chapter ends on a high note wanting more
Reflecting on the character moments; Shackles to Protege
But that doesn't mean the chapter's MIDDLES didn't leave me with more to say
Like I said, every chapter ENDS with me wanting more
And not wanting to say all the thoughts I had before
During the middle, which I feel deserves a separate review
I feel like the pacing was a chore to get through
I'd trudge through this story at one third my normal speed
Sometimes half a chapter would take most of a day to read
Maybe 'cause I always gulped at an Amazon river of text
Unable to see the resting point next
Maybe 'cause the pacing was a self-perpetuating curse
Making me read slower, just making things worse
Maybe it's 'cause I binge-read this story too much
Feeling like I had to read the the whole thing in a rush
The Fimfiction format probably added to the duress
With no page breaks each chapter feels almost endless
But even action scenes started feeling like detours and delays
(Though I admit, Fallout: Equestria could make me feel the same way)
Sometimes I'd trudge a chapter's first half by day
And get to the interesting part past bed time, unable to look away
The action scenes felt so long before I could take a breath
Like I was to board a two hour roller coaster of death
Whatever the reasons, all in all, my reading was so slow
I'd feel I'd notice every missing word and typo, and collect them in tow
Sometimes just stopping on clumsy sentences where no mistake had been
I collected them for you before up to chapter sixteen
Chapter 17
I had stay silent and obey. - *had TO
no such thing as the freedom they had once to wander the plaza had under Protégé's rule. - *THEY had
His eyes found something else as the travelled to the side - as THEY*
On the eve of a great challenge, from the scant knowledge I have has to ask - "have has"
he reached over the drew a small bowl - *AND drew
Stop it sis, come - Incomplete sentence
I was shoved from the side and make fun of for betting - *made
(comparatively to the poor ponies forces in before) - *forced
I saw him look to it with side eyes,
For all of us born something we hated!
My Master's beating send a wash of pain through my head
two machete's (from a barrel, presumably) held in his telekinesis either side casting thin shadows
Though you was 'fessional.”
Our master coughed into a hoof, before noting just how mucky is was
Threatening me to dare making a scene of out this
The smaller ones would come later that I could fetch a saddlebag from a hut and simply carry.
not to a false deity I know some might belief in.”
Chapter 18
Soon I was having to pull myself up and over or clamber under huge roots that arced up taller than a pony around trees thicker than the giant stone pillars in Fillydelphia.
By forcing you. The one part of us, of me, that doesn't want to rest now to feel our lifelong pain then maybe you'll finally see why it's our time to let go!”
a large barn and small wooden house with the glow of a fire within it.
only when the two slaves grab me did I really wake
Pressing myself as far into the hay as I could, fearfully looking at the boils and welts of long term slaves here. They coughed and staggered on wasted limbs around, looking all ready to collapse and spasm until death.
Around us, a view to eternity around us from within this metal maze that displayed blurry images of my life through hazy colours shifting and turning through mists.
I looked into her eyes and saw that knowing.
Murk ,listen carefully,
There is nothing you can do to that will stop what we believe he will someday do
metaphoric shield from the chains that sought to take me from him!
I brought myself to before him and took a breath.
Fillydelphia itself is not somewhere any of you, no upstart, no destined pony and no well wishing friends can simply do!
all the way back the journey I had fallen in darkness!
Chapter 19
or made his body less warped and burned on the same side
Not to mention telling Glimmer of my dreams and thank her over and over again.
not unidentifiable at all other than perhaps as some sort of construction for the metro system
Shackles' influence finally been lifted was like a brief haven
Here was been the pony I knew
Despite the seediness of the Roamer and the gradual decline in sober ponies in the room, I could help but feel a cosy warmth
Glimmerlight eager smiling at him
I have a task that needs accomplished in my own service.
all the wonderful things they do can do as well as being yummy in your tummy!”
but I just gave quiet moment of respect
and startled my sense into proper awakening.
and it was almost even in brightness now!
Strong as good to grab
This is your little moment and think to wish for
Chapter 20
and shoved all her worries back to let out last little moment for now be a happy one.
These files need sorted alphabetically'F' was little line through a squiggle.
'F' was little line through a squiggle.
It'd felt it in the Stable.
“Just get to fuck you little weasel!”
We were trotting back the way we have come
looking over a gantry he had been shouting to groups of slaves to get an urgent order done on time
Upon spying from his roost,
ad my hooves scrambled through it
Come on ,I
After dropping by to find Ragini and bring her along did to finally move toward the FunBarn itself
skipped around me a few time
I made to get up, the turn and simply flee
Inside it I could see scaffold formed into shelves - I think the plural is scaffolds.
Chapter 21
next level ,we
low drawn out moaning something akin to the noise of a creaking door.
The door behind us shattered, the wood and glass exploding on every strike until they fell completely off.
I cause another whiff of the smell
Only not it occurred to me,
we came out into a thick room similar to the outer metro we has passed into.
Chapter 21 part 2
not see that look on your face for years.
I began to hunt alone the edges of bedside table
Then again and again until a begging was heard that he would.
It has to right back up to-argh!
looking around as tough absolutely unsure of where he was
I guess a hardened wastelander like herself really knew how to do.
running across a corridor in clear view behind him and dive into the cell room.
stopping onto to touch a hoof to her sore and sparking horn with a grimace
Them my blood turned to ice alone.
I saw only two bright white glows like eyes reflected the wagon's lights with a glint around a an indistinct flurried form
Protégé last of all as he stood and stared down the tunnels to where the slavers were changing shifts once again of the mining ponies.
Chapter 22
Now that I'd see her, seen she was still here!
Glimmer moved up, trying to get a bead to finish it,standing atop the slop with a pained look
standing atop the slop with a pained look
Red paint peeled on the walls visible behind huge minecarts lashed to the floor on either side.
Protégé shifted, turning move toward me.
(Allegedly, because I never got one. I saw it as her just trying to get me drunk again)
.the exposed flesh of my wound pale like a corpse from cold.
A small group of raiders camp pouring out of the dormitory,
“Absolute preposterous!”
Yet the slaves stood to rigid attention before him.
The pair galloped off, back the way.
as their weight and strikes torn into the rotten wood.
Oh Goddesses he had! She'd seen me!
I bit down on the saddle to let the hook rocked out.
I felt splinters of metal shot off the back
I heard in the distance to sudden warcry all too recognisable
and not we only had to get out!
I had to gulp the remainder of my canteen from out of fear of the effect
the drug addled psychopaths were bounding heedless of the bold through the snowy forest.
Ahead of them all I saw that cybernetic monster
while Protégé joined them sometimes he mostly spent his time with a small book he'd somehow still brought.
Chapter 23
I still cant feel my hooves
Fear began to creep down my back as I say Sooty giggle with glee
Just a wash of static in the air before forming into a surprisingly high quality for these older things
I thought it the limit of her telekinesis.
You deal with that you and leave them to me,
as brimstone continued to wrestle with the column.
A desk sat near the shaking window bearing a huge tomb atop it. Everypony else seemed fairly all right
Everypony else seemed fairly all right
I knew this place...I'd see it in books.
A memory machine with a ragged clothed pony being pulled against her will toward.
The darkness around the projected form of Aurora in the part, wrapped over her, zebra eyes among it,
Flares of orange and red surrounded us as I saw glimpses of scientists and workers bleeding out up
like someone tearing thick paper that send stone dust spiralling among us
Only maybe a dozen shots each other than Grizzly and Ragini!
Scrambling back, yelled again as my head pounded.
I didn't stop, running into one, turning and bucking
A smile that grew...and grew...with every work those wrinkled cheeks quivered and rose
He say me keep coming.
his hooves lending on my neck to choke me.
In front of my, Protégé slumped,
Chapter 24
Behind us, I hear galloping hooves and saw the rest of our party rejoin us after catching up.
I grit my teeth,
feeling his good front leg tap my head in an gentle motion.
her eyes flicking to dark corners, as though she'd head something.
Grindstone said that Equestrian soldier came through the portal
Those things would take some getting used to expressing me without meaning to.
What if they'd escaped in the station?
Instead I just focussed on Sunny,
“MURK! What are you talking?!”
to give me the most time to flee if needs be.
if I could stand on Glimmer's back and took a jump...
but her extra body weight make me drop almost vertically.
I couldn't resist the speed we were moving at at to turn into them,
I tried to spread out, use it like a thicker bit of air to slow down in with my wings wide,
Chapter 25
Protégé was alone amongst that all of that.
Unity's other front hoof came down on top of her other one, - Her other other front hoof?
He is the one who needs brought to terms now for Creaky Hollow to rest easy.
The group back at the sewer knew to give us a time, so we didn't leave anything to chance.
Squinting in the suddenly darkness,
I remembered hearing about rivals being bought or or stomped under.
he nodded to Stern and turned to face his prisoner hobble after him.
But this...as the pony who he had given him what he believed to be his only purpose was taken from him, it was new to even me.
as I dismissed on older pony's point.
“You think he might know something we don't about Fillydelphia and how to get them, I see”
Behind it, I half expected to see Protégé at his desk. Eyepiece on and scanning across documents and letter
Tentatively moving, my hooves making sound on the soft floor,
My hooves, as deftly as they could,
the wire humming loudly as my switched triggers to flip out Rarity's Grace at a slaver
The masses of pipes, vents and cage fences that dotted its top let in a path to a tall aerial near the front edge that overlooked the city.
A vast population of slaves spreading out in all direction
This hole is previously described as being at his hooves, not above him.
Usually you go up to rooftops.
So much easier to relax and sitting worrying about memory magic, irradiated taint infections, slave indoctrination and Shackles' plans... - So much easier to relax *THAN sitting worrying
Chapter 26
Protégé, Brimstone, Blunderbuck, Glimmer, Sunny and one pony I didn't know were standing around a table set up in the slaver's old office. The two unknowns were a stallion and mare, the latter wearing armour bearing Red Eye's symbol on it, only now crossed out with white paint. Protégé was speaking to him over a drawn map of the Mall
I hopped up and placed on hoof on his leg, “many of them don't like me because I've got wings.
and the meatgrinder will grab hold of you.”
I couldn't held but hear a murmur about how 'the turkey' got a battle-saddle and they didn't as I trotted past a small group...
I saw one Enclave small ship
Gasping for air, I got a mouthful of dust set and erupted into a spasm of coughing.
Sunny tiredly muttered with a slight grin as Glimmer's curse of annoyance as they both relaxed and gazed outside
We both looked up to where Weathervane and his most surgeons were working
I took a sip of water and sloshed it around my mouth befpre spitting it into a bucket
Around me, some slavers got their weapons up and dropped half a dozen soldiers into rolling heaps as they came through,
All around us, slaves and turncoat slavers were fleeing before a second wave of soldiers becoming clear through the slowly fading smoke.
Chapter 27
That keening and haunting cry for blood struck to my very core and set a shivering discomfort to every joint and muscle
Hhe was going to crash right into the plaza!
holding back the tide as other ponies joined in and fire from the balconies
and barked like a hounds.
I tumbled into a discarded metal box and curled up, trying to see what hit me, fearing the sight of blood...
I had no chance to see, before they were on me, reaching out with cracked hooves. Grabbing the box, I threw it at them
before leaping out the way as the rubble piled down
I fell against the dirtbags and pulled myself over them my chest felt tight and my throat hacked and spasmed
Segmented plate covered her front and side, before she slung a Diamond's rifle over her back.
the sides clamped down like that of a forge-plate closing around his body to interlock beneath his belly and around his waist.
Around us, slavers were fleeing toward Brimstone.
and stamped directly down for Brutus' chest.
“You don't spent the time in bars I have, then hang around Brim
Eevery time, he would get back up
Chapter 28
There's a lot of ponies could do to remember that sort of example
Those noises heralded a world of nightmares was approaching for ponies back then.
This needs stopped.
crashing into the side of a tall mine cart The pony behind me jumped
shattered a wagon and send slavers scurrying
with a grown and strong stallion shrieking
“Protégé, what in the name of fuck is going? \
trying to save something that would also have been had everliving,
“The only friends I ever had ,I met here.
Chapter 29
They didn't just have a plan for the escape, they had to plan for the dozens of miles of hostile wasteland
giant entranceway of the mall
Sounds outside began to perk up, making my ears twitch and lift.
Whole thing's built from scrap and readymix
I moved faster, at the canter,
I felt heat singing my coat - *singeing
The sudden jolt of it hitting and the nearny wagon's movement
The bright sky began filled with fire and metal as they exploded
damaged and lacking armoured panels anymore.
Every few seconds, the entire wagon would lift upon on rubble
The heavy shot rung out across the wall, as it slammed through Protégé's armour and tore across the side his his body before slamming into the wall beside him
a non-lethal shot if he could away from my skull.
dotted with old farms and fences build around ditches
And now, for the less typo focused comments
I assume this is a UK thing? It's not turn or turn-off?
Would've probably been good for Protege to explain how a killing ground equals cover here. I was confused until it was explained later.
This is probably more a problem with the show itself's universe than any fanfic but how do ponies attached to carts suddenly outrun those not on carts?
It's actually slightly more believable here because here since Shackles may have *wanted* them to reach the wall.
Speaking of which, how does he know words like "portcullis" and "glaive"? Also, Protege?
It feels like Murky might as well be a kid who starts making a gun shape with his hand and going "pew pew" whenever the adults fight when he uses Rarity's Grace. I honestly suspect he'd be more effective with a nerf gun. At least the larger, more colorful ammo might get more attention.
THAT RHYMED!
Aren't they supposed to be a high priority target since they're by the wall?
I was confused as I didn't realize Protege had brought the detonator, even though he'd held it last I kinda just thought he left it with Blunderbuck
I saved some other chapter specific commentary that I left in as comments on their respective chapters.
Except for this line
At this point I had already had the ending of this chapter spoiled for me from the comments. Something I'm not sure I'm too sorry for as it allowed me to brace myself. But when I read this line I was like, "Damn you Fuzzy . . . I know you're just trying to make it worse. This is like when a soldier in a war movie starts showing pictures of his family back home.".
I was worried about what was coming, I was ready to curse you when it happened. But then when it happened . . . Well, I guess with his speech about sacrifice, you made it poetic and meaningful enough that . . . I just think it's a shame he never got his wasteland library . . ..
It seems odd to comment on the small things along the way, since the ending of each chapter usually sweeps all other thoughts away so they go unsaid. Like in the chapter Defying Gravity, it feels strange to comment on anything other than the big moments that it had. Reading this story is kind of like the commentary I left on Duty to Care, where my comments start off critique-y, and than shift toward engaged by chapter's end.
This story was an experience, and while the journey itself had many moments where I felt I was disciplining myself to push forward, now that I'm all caught up I look back and remember the good stuff.
I loved Murky's conversation with Protege bringing him up out of his darkest hour by re-thinking things, building him back up with a new view on how to make the world a better place. I find it fascinating to think about how you build someone's beliefs back up. I'm a fan of a lot of shows that debunk something and end on a note that's positive through changing how you think about a topic, like Adam Ruins Everything, some episodes of Penn and Teller Bullshit and some videos about skepticism like Tim Minchin's Storm. This story is kind of like that, but much more emotionally epic, tearing down hopes and dreams, and than saying . . . Hey, we don't need false hopes or false heroes . . . you need to think about things different, a change in perspective.
How Weathervane was saved is like that too . . . Murky and the audience spent so long worrying about what would happen if Weathervane heard, worrying that it might push him over the edge . . . And then it finally ends up being the very thing that saves him. There's this theme of . . . You don't need to sugarcoat anything. you don't need lies of omission to hide what you don't like . . . You just need to face it, and recognize the potential for good.
And that goes not only for one's view of the world but of oneself; as demonstrated by Coral Eve's speech to Brimstone in the pit, which was actually a very similar moral to the season 6 finale where Glimmer is afraid to be a leader and tries to deny that part of herself, just like Brimstone was doing, until both realize what they really need to accept who they are, and use those strengths to be better.
Although where does that leave Chainlink Shackles? Is his cutie mark inherently evil?
He seems like someone who deserves a horror movie monster's death; where after a tedious battle during which most of his body is burnt he gets a diving tank up his ass and a well aimed rifle. "SMILE YOU SONE OF A-" The punctured diving tank shooting out his mouth in a stream of gore.
But as much of a monster he has been during these hundreds of thousands of words, and as much as I've imagined doing things to him that would make you feel I'm letting this story make me a little too angry, if you have a plan that's more based around faith in humanity . . . an ending that starts leading in a direction where Shackles may start seeing his own chains, even maybe recognizing them as chains . . . a road where Shackles would be torn down and potentially, eventually built back up . . . That could be very fascinating.
Even though I usually find redemption arcs in the show to be rather rushed, redemption itself can be extremely intriguing . . . And you have two things that the show does not . . . Length and depth allowing for psychological reflection.
But maybe he's too far gone, anyone could redeem if given enough time but time is a finite thing.
Maybe the only ending he can have is a spectacle fit for a monster. And if so, that's awesome. Either way, whether idealistic or not, I hope his ending his epic.
And same for this story.
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Holy moly where do I even start? Thank you, thank YOU for that enormous reply. Full of solid critic and very empowering praise for what you liked.
I seriously doubt I can fully do every point you mentioned justice. But like I mentioned on Reddit, the fact that you really do "get" the themes and follow them throughout makes me so happy as an author to see those things actually take root, get noticed and appreciated. I try not to "tell" them all the time, so any time they're seen? Thats me grinning for the day.
In particular I'm glad to hear of your appreciation for some of the big moments, the ends of chapters being a hook or even for elements that may not have been mentioned a lot. Particularly about Ministry Station, or Weathervane. (As a note, Glimmer's comment about socks is a reference to the ones she found in Chapter 11, just before the raider rebellion)
You were quite spot on about the "message" of the story, about the attitude to face hardship, the hope and the consolidating your perspective. I don't want to state it too much here as I always think that me saying too much about what "is" the main things can sometimes ruin the magic a little of what people read from it, but yes, there is a definite theme about what you are born into vs what you become and the strife and memories for good or bad that can take you on that journey, and about how you see yourself in the world or where you're going. Thats very close to the core elements.
Thank you dearly for all the typo spots and suchlike, someday after I'm done I'm gonna do a full pass on all that stuff, due to copy-paste issues with FimFic content being run off html style code, I tend to need to edit three versions separately (two if I do it a certain way) which is why I don't always react and change immediately. But I have a big list of them all for the "edit pass" I'm doing to it. Nothing major changing, just stuff like what you spotted.
And a comment in rhyme? Well that's a new one, I had a blast reading that. It's certainly unique, pulling such a thing out your hat. ;)
Honestly, I wish I could shake your hand right now for the amount of feedback and commentary over all this. Nothing makes an author more happy than seeing people talking about their thoughts, feelings, opinions, interpretations and what they got out of it. Thank you.
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I think the main takeaway will definitely differ from person to person, heck we're not even in agreement here. While I definitely agree that transcending who you were is a big theme of the story, that's not what I was pointing out. The talking about was about shattering comforting false beliefs to face painful truths and finding that even in the wake of such truths a change in perspective will be all that's needed to recover and will be much sturdier and stronger than the lie was.
For example when the pedestal Murky put Littlepip on crumbles he later learns to value what heroes stand for, rather than idolize the heroes themselves. When Murky talks to Protege at his lowest moment, he pretty much affirms that his previous vision of a better world is BS, Equestria is not green fields and forcing children to learn. and then tells Protege to think differently about what Equestria and bettering the world is; Equestria is hope, and you better the world by leading people to fight for what they need and want. Weathervane learns that Sundial never made it to a stable, but also learns that he died a hero.
Leading up to the darkest moments of Murky, Weathervane and Protege, I'd imagine what I'd do if I were the "Well, actually . . . " guy who was in the awkward position of countering the misconceptions of the characters, like about Sundial's fate or how Littlepip escaped. How would I go about it? Who'd want to be the guy who had to tell Murky or Weathervane some awful truth about what kept them going? How would I keep their hope alive? This story eventually breaks every such belief a character has and than shows how their hope can remain or even rebuild stronger afterward.
I guess the theme I'm trying to describe is; there's enough beauty in the world that you don't need your myths. Gain strength not from comforting beliefs but from your ability to choose and create meaning, from your own accomplishments and friends, from the inherent value of your ideals and in trying for something better regardless of whether it has been or can be achieved. These are the things Murky learned in chapter 18. Hope or transcending your past are obviously primary themes; but the one I'm noticing is "You can be stronger without comforting lies."
The other theme I mentioned is actually a little bit of the opposite of transcending who you were. In the pit, Brimstone realizes he can't turn his back on being a rage-fueled warlord. Instead, he has to embrace that part of him so he can use it for better. You can't change what your strengths are, can't deny who you are, but you can change what you do with it.