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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This chapter's awesome
**Insert spoiler here***
M83 outro
Mitis - Written emotions
ODESZA - My friends never die
Rouge - Dreams
MitiS - born (feat Collin McLoughlin)
MitiS & MaHi - Blu
Arkasia - Fall Of the republic <<<--- that song takes place when murky and protege are battling u no who
Michel Herrera - Away (Just a gent remix)
Dum Dum Girls - Falling down (not the video)
Listen to those songs while reading the newest
Chapter
Priceless
Historians shall echo this for ages.
I can't wait for the next chapter.
Typo:
being able e to bunker
Well, when I get off work tomorrow, I'll begin reading.
If I don't live long enough to read the entirety of this fic, you, the author, may have all my worldly possessions.
Hot damn that was inspiring.
Oh god. The endgame cometh.
4826377 sounds like a trip to MrSuicideSheep :3
AWWWW YES HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY TO ME
We're finally here.
This was the prologue to awesome. The introduction to the finale I've been looking forward to for years and nearly a million words.
...I can't freakin' wait!
No pressure.
Alternate chapter title: The Mall Uprising.
Wonderful work in this chapter, Fuzzy. Between the Unity / Murky dynamic change (and tentative new steps forward), and the massive character growth in Protege, this was a treat to read.
You excel at taking a character, breaking them, and then rebuilding them more complete than they were to start. If you had a cutie mark, that's what it'd mean.
And so it begins.
Well… Sorry about this, but I I've finally decided to stop following the story. Going into this chapter, it was already a case of possibly finding something to renew my interest rather than a risk of finding something to remove it. I read the beginning, wasn't very engaged, skimmed to nearly the middle, then lost my suspension of disbelief and didn't have enough binding me to the story to keep going. Once again, I apologize, but I think that continuing from here would probably just be a sunk cost fallacy for me. I wish you luck for the rest of the story and those who are still enjoying it, though, and I did have a good time with many of the earlier chapters.
I suppose that this is likely similar to how some people feel about PH…
4826736
Thanks for the typo spot, corrected in all versions. :)
4827544
I hope it'll be worth it! It's always a big worry whenever you hit the precise point of "no return" in a story's gathering of elements together. Thanks for sticking with it this long.
4827884
May I ask what broke your suspension of disbelief before you go?
4827920
Well… I'd already been finding it difficult to believe that Chainlink is the leader he's presented as; I was able to keep applying patches, though, enough to convince me that some ordinary slavers would follow him. The guards at the Alpha-Omega, though? The supposedly ultra-fanatical defenders of Red Eye's foals? I cannot believe that they'd follow Chainlink. He can't trick them into thinking that they're doing Red Eye's work, either, because their job is very uncomplicated: they are to stand between the foals and everything else and shoot the everything else if it so much as coughs funny in the foals' presence. They might accept new orders relayed by Stern, but anyone else trying to change their orders is getting reported at the least. Maybe, if there was a convincing bomb threat or something, they could be convinced to move the foals and the ponies caring for them, but the first one of them to suggest actually turning on the foals would be gunned down by the others. Really, this could have been enough to stop me reading on its own. I might have been able to think of some patch, but coming as this does at the end of a lot of other little things… I'm sorry, but it's just too much.
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THESE CHAPTERS ARE SO FUCKING LONG OH GOD
This is one of those stories where the reader is literally screaming at a character to act. And yet they don't. And they don't. ...And they don't. Until they do, and the result is completely amazing. I've been reading for over two decades, now, and Protegé is my favorite character of any story, ever. No lie.
Thank you.
4827943 Ultra-fanatical defenders? MN7 never said that. FO:E never said that. Everything you said is entirely your own headcanon. They didn't turn on the foals either. The foals are perfectly safe.
Nice tension throughout the chapter. I just hope all of this doesn't backfire too hard for them.
At first when Protégé's started his speech I almost expected it to be Charlie Chaplin's speech in The Great Dictator. That would have been too much.
Man, Protégé's my favorite character in this whole story; A character that does horrible things for good reasons, truly feels remorse for what he's done, wishes to ease the burden of those around him, is incredibly well spoken and educated without being a cunt, and will fucking shoot you when you push him.
4828665
Murky Number Seven, Chapter 20 (The Great Game):
"Ahead of us, the Alpha-Omega Hotel's gates were secured with great measure. The fence ahead of the lit building thrummed with magic power and two small towers held griffin snipers watching our every move. Protégé was permitted entry without a word though. They allowed him (and apparently, his 'assistant') in on sight. I took the fanatical glance from Red Eye's guard very seriously. He bore the mark of the fanatical elite core of Red Eye's army upon his combat armour's breast after all.
No. No trouble or hijinks here. In other places if caught I'd be punished. Here I'd be executed on the spot without a warning."
And as for not turning on the foals… You don't think this counts? And "perfectly safe"? Eh?
4829614 Ah! I suppose you're right then. Whoops. Okay, FO:E never said anything about it. Fuzzy's just contradicting himself.
"Perfectly safe" in their minds, not knowing Shackles' plans.
4829614
Honestly, the biggest issue I have on re-reading that is that I used the word "fanatical" twice so close together...
The general rationale behind it is that Shackles' loyalties run deep in the city. He used to own it, many of the slavers and guards were once his. After all, fanaticism is not nessesarily impossible to fake. Not to mention Murky only hears what they're told to scare them away from it.
Chapter 25 clearly states that there were guards among the dead though, those who were fanatical were killed.
I'm saddened that it is such a thing to you at this late stage, but I know it's not my place to "defend and convince" you. The story should do that itself. So if you stop reading I'll be more than willing to respect the choice and learn from it...albeit be slightly disappointed that a reader left at this stage. Either way, I thank you for your honesty in response to my question.
OH. MY. GOD.
Worth every last second of the time we waited for it. Honestly, one of the most epic speeches I've ever read. Fuzzy, I seriously believe that you are some kind of literature demigod at this point.
This finale you have been building up to for nearly one million words is going to be spectacular. I fully expect to be rendered speechless.
And now the waiting begins once more.
4827545 You have just summed up one of the best things about this story in one simple sentence.
4829626
I'm not really in a mood to argue about this.
4829634
Well, again, I'm sorry about this, but you at least have plenty of other readers. I'm afraid that your brief explanation here isn't really working for me either, and while perhaps we could embark on some long discussion… I don't really want to bother. I might if it was just this, but, as I said, I'd been losing interest for a while.
Out of curiosity, why doesn't Chainlink just kill all the foals, if the majority of their guards are his? Without them, Red Eye would have no motivation to continue to develop Fillydelphia, given all he does is for their sake. Heck, why not kill Red Eye as well during one of his visits to see the foals, too? It would be easy to get to him then.
He wouldn't even need to arrange an open rebellion. Have Red Eye killed, Stern would fly in and kill the guards he'd ordered to kill Red Eye (Chainlink has never had difficulty convincing his underlings to go on suicide missions), then the contract the griffins had would be null. If it came to a vote as to who would take over, Chainlink would win. He has enough support. Even if he didn't, with the griffins gone (or, at least, in limbo until another contract could be made), he could roll over anyone who tried to step up to fill the power void.
I'm not sure I understand the in-universe reason why Chainlink doesn't rule Fillydelphia. Just the meta one... because FoE says Red Eye remained in power until Fillydelphia fell to the Enclave.
4829769
He has massive sway, especially amongst the "Old Guard", but even if that accounts for 50% of the city population of slavers, he risks a civil war if he makes a rash move against the one that many of them support zealously. He is a patient stallion when it comes to playing the long game, he's happy to wait for the uttermost moments.
As for the foals...well, consider how Murky turned out from becoming a slave as a foal. Then consider what Shackles really wants, he isn't after death. He's after slaves.
The amount of awesomeness in this chapter is TOO DAMN HIGH!
This story is such an emotional roller-coaster and I love every minute of it. I'm gonna be so sad when it ends.
4829987
Granted on almost all points, but I have to wonder if there'd really be civil war were he to attempt to take over if he had 50% of the slaver population allied under him. If Red Eye and Stern were removed the other 50% would have no clear leader to rally behind and given they've grown used to their current way of life all Chainlink would have to do is promise a return to the status quo, with maybe a few less hours, and he'd be in.
He could further sink it by throwing Dr. Horse and the rest of the scientists Red Eye has working to try and create a better future into the arena. Who wouldn't want to watch a bunch of now-useless nerds get torn apart by Wildcard?
After that he'd have to have more than fifty percent of the slaver population behind him and the threat of killing anyone who stood in his way would squash the rest.
FUZZY!
This. That one line defines why I love this story so much. It doesn't feel like an intrusion on the world Kkat has created, it feels like a true and honest to goodness expansion of the lore.
We're so close to the end. I'm so sad about that, but...so extremely excited. If it takes this long to complete these chapters, as long as they were as fantastic as this and the one prior, I'm sure I speak for any reader when I say that I'll gladly wait.
And about that headshot though. /)YES(\
Take as much as you want; you deserve it.
Well, I found a few errors
Raising
Dispatch
Trialed
Swiveled
delete that extra 'those'
included the extra words to make it easier to locate the sentences
and so we race to the end of this story, it's a bit sad to know that this will end soon, along with Project Horizons, and with Heros probably 3/4's of the way done. But that only means we can make spinoffs of the spinoffs, of Fallout Equestria, just think of the fun that can be had. (Also I wonder, Brimstone had got to have kids all over the place, it be funny if Silver Storm is one of them, with how much alike they are.)
4834017
Really super glad that line stood out to you. I was very very happy with wanting it to go in there, knowing someone took it for the real meaning makes it all feel worth it. :3
4829701
Seems to me like you are just finding things you don't like so you can not like them. No one is forcing you to read the story yet you keep coming back. If you think it's so bad, do better, write your own story.
4826995
It was inspiring and it helped me realize something I could use as a writer as well. Murky is de awesome.
4838421
Yes, you are doing a good job of not walking all over the works of others. That was something that drove me crazy about some of the other fanfictions from FOE. The characters from the main show were being resurrected, discord was in every other fanfic, I'm like, geeze, really? There are so many original villain ideas in FOE and all these writers just want to use the same insta-villain. You did a great job of avoiding that pitfall and being in Filly-d, that that could have been easy to stumble into.
Edited because, "Given that it's Filly, that could have been a tempting pitfall to slide into. " just sounded a little wrong.
This was a good chapter and all that fun stuff, here's some edits.
× 'have' to 'know'
- 'that'
÷ Break this sentence up so it reads easier
+ 'if'
× 'an' to 'a'
× 'moved' to 'move'
× 'emotion' to 'emotional'
+ 'so' after comma, or × comma to semicolon
÷ Rephrase the second half, I'm not sure what's wrong here
× 'our' to 'out'
× 'glances' to 'glanced'
+ ending parenthesis
- 'could'
- 'and'
- 'or', or + ellipsis
× 'feel' to 'fell'
× it's to its
+ 'be'
+ 'end and'
× 'floated' to 'floating'
× 'his' to 'this'
4838567
My apologies for causing offense, but I confess that I am rather at a loss to understand what I appear to have done. Since making my post announcing that I would not be continuing to follow the story, I have returned here only to reply to comments addressed to me, as I am doing now. I do not think that I have been at any point in this process particularly discourteous, either; while it has been pointed out to me that it might have been good for me to state my reasons for leaving in more detail in my original post, this does not seem a large issue and in any case has already been resolved.
4838421 Another great, Great chapter that left me wanting for moar!
But I do have one bit of criticism; in the original Fallout: Equestria weren't all the foalsmoved to the citidal by the time Red Eye died? There was a bit where Littlepip overhears one of the nannies telling a foal to get in the shelter, but he wants to watch the battle.
4841924
Not all. There were a certain amount seen there, but no-where near as much as was seen in Filly beforehand. It's not had an oppurtunity to come up in MN7 (And really, it wouldn't be nessesary detail) but the foals here are the ones left behind.
This has to be one of the best fanfictions every to come on the Internet. It easily beats project horizons, heck it might beat the origanal fallout equestria. But now I realize somthing...... I don't want it to end. I want to keep seeing new chapters, an endless cycle. But I know it will end, just Not when.
Please keep it up! This is a story that has captured hearts. Even my non brony friends are reading it.
I finally finished reading the last chapter and boy do I have a lot to say about it, Fuzzy, but there's one thing that buggers me the most and I'll start with it if you don't mind.
It's the trial of Protege, his relationship with Red Eye and the overall portrayal of the "Master". Now, Red Eye's death in the original fanfic is the most dump, unethical, unlogical, unbelievable and simply crude thing to ever happened. Kkat, for some reason or another, gave the legacy of Red Eye that was kept building up a very blunt stop, with visible sparks being send in every direction. Simply put, his death was lacking a lot and just felt empty... But that's not the point I'm somewhat angry about, it's the fact that after hearing about Red Eye's death, Protege abandons the ideals that he kepts on to believing for every chapter, for every paragraph until now only because "Red Eye was the only one to care about him". The Legacy if Red Eye is not continued after his death with Protege, but is ended in that stupid death and butchered to the ground with Protege admitting that Red Eye was a psycho and his dreams were childish.
His dreams...were childish and naive. In a world where friendship can overcome all bonds, in a world where hope is stronger than steel or bullet, his ideals are too "childish". I'm sorry Fuzzy, but I'm really not liking the way Protege dealth with all of this. Just because all of the others betrayed him, that Stern didn't even give him a second chance doesn't remove all Red Eye did for him. He didn't simply forgot the "Master", but also the "Mentor" and "Father Figure" when he escaped with Murky and made that announcement. And with sadness I admit that Red Eye deserved better. He didn't know about the GoH and if you remove them from the equation, his ideals were justified. Yes, they were, and even if Protege doesn't accept that they still follow them...even though the sacrifice they are making are their own lives and not the hard labor of slaves and slavers.
On that note, I'm a bit sad that Mos' turned out to be a complete asshole and a whimp, Stalliongrad colts are better than that!
I did expect for Protege to turn out to be Unity's missing colt and I'm kinda suprised and glad that it wasn't all that I expected, since it makes MNS and Unity's awkward relationship that much more adorable, even though I'm still raising my arms for Sunny!
We all know what to expect from the Enclave, so the "final battle" can come any closer. And even though I have so much to complain about, I'm still eager to see and read it.
4850724
Next chapter may interest you then from Protégé's perspective. Not everything could be said this chapter, originally I did have a scene covering some stuff you mention...but it got in the way of the end momentum and ended up being cut.
So maybe it'll find its way into one of the final chapters somewhere. He certainly has more to say about how he's going to cope and look back on his life. He's only just come to be free after all, plenty of time for him to consider it. :)
If this story ends as a tragedy I will cry like I've never done before. This story is my ultimate favourite story to ever have experienced. It also is the first FoE fic I've ever read. It is without a doubt a master piece. This story is in my view, a must read for everyone.
My feelings have been roller coasting so much this entire story, I've never thought a srory could ever make me become this emotionally intrigued.
I've loved every single second of this story.
Since this also is the first FoE fic I've read every single new experience for Murky has been a new experience for me.
I used to think Fillydelphia was everything until I read other Foe fics, which are way less dreadfull and beautiful than this story. I will be quite sad when it all ends but also a little happy when it does, because not only will he hopefully finally be free. But the story is ended so you won't be able to participare in his life anymore. And if it ends in tragedy, well... I said I will cry.
Cannot wait to see more stories written by hou though.
4828056
WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING :D
4851836 I know right? If it ends tragically I would probably die due to sadness... I mean him and his friends have gone through so much! They deserve a happy ending for once! WE deserve a happy ending for going through this beautiful emotional roller coaster of a story!
4850887
I really hope it's not just "somewhere" but explained, but you never failed me ha-ha. I'm waiting for the next chapters even more now, since that's the only thing tha truly buggered me. I really liked Red Eye you see.
and are the only things I can do after reading this.