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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Time to get my read on.
Can't wait to see where the story goes next!
What a twist! I thought it was Protege, too.
Daaamn... That's pretty ballsy.
And I thought this story couldn't get any better than it was already. Oh, how wrong I was...
Now, before I say anything else, let's all give a massive round of applause to DaWarWolf for correctly predicting the major event that happened in this chapter a full five months in advance. Seriously, that's awesome. I tip my hat to you.
Now, as for the chapter itself? Well, what can I really say? That was incredible! Seriously. I wish I could give a bigger, more detailed, more analytical review (because you absolutely deserve it), but I can't think of what I want to say. All I feel is an overdose of happiness and excitement, and I haven't stopped grinning since I finished the chapter. I pretty much have a complete empathetic connection with Murky at this point—whatever he feels, I feel. When he feels anguished, so do I. And when he feels euphoric...
Keep up the awesome work!
4416506
Now that it's out, I can safely respond to that. An absolutely amazing job of him to spot that so far in advance (not the furthest in advance record, that one goes to BlackDutchie who called it back in Chapter 13!) from all the little clues strewn around since even Chapter 1's intro text.
It was massive boost in my confidence to carry this through by seeing him guess it though, as it affirmed to me that yes, it was plausable as a 'twist' when it came. People would spot it. It helped me feel safe in continuing as it was and that the previous clues had just enough existence. :)
Its been so long since the last chapters I'm actually a little lost on Murky's revelation.
...
..
..
..
...
...
.......................um...................is that a phone i hear because i think you better pick it up because I Totally fucking Called IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CANT STOP SHAKNG,
tnk need to le down for a moment
cant type strait
Edit:Okay i am the second on the phone since BlackDutchie called it first so kudos to him.
But who called first aside I did not start reading until the beginning of December of last year and read all of it at once during spring break. It was pretty much the only thing I was doing besides sleeping so I had the entire story fresh in my mind from the get go. Also while reading it all at once until Chapter 13 i joked about and said" wouldn't it be so ironic if it was murky ha ha ha..." until 13 and the mirror scene. I thought about it the rest of the story until i caught up and went back for any hints and found plenty. I looked everywhere to see if anyone had any of the same ideas but sadly couldn't find any comments on it, including BlackDutchie's comment. So i just put it out there to see if any non-commentators had the same idea.
This chapter was SO amazing it beats the graduation ceremony I had yesterday for high school.
You heard it hear folks, MurkyNumberSeven beats graduation ceremonies!
Okay, I did not see that coming. Though I can at least say that about half-way through this chapter I started suspecting that, and about the time he started to yell at Protege I was almost sure, but that doesn't really count, does it?
In other news, the much anticipated return of Mr Peace! Yey! Pity you hadn't given us the scene where Murky explains to everypony why is a robot calling hiim Fluttershy, or why he had never mentioned him, but... eh.
Also, GlimmerXPeace? ... I'd ship that.
I mean, until the previous chapter, I was shipping Murky with Ragini in my head, so I can accept about everything, really.
In other news, dear author, believe it or not, but on the day this new chapter got published (it's already past 2 am on my side)... I was celebrating my birthday! Thank you for this unintentional awesome gift!
PS: So wait...
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Murky isn't a virgin?
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Hope it's worth it for your birthday! Congrats on the day. :)
Aaaand who knows really? There are slight implications that she saw more in him than he realised and they weren't really a couple so much as just very very close. I like to think I leave it open enough for anyone's thoughts.
Next chapter will, inevitably, look into the whole thing a little more with their interaction.
4416561 After I put it out there I was so afraid that you would change it, like"Oh crap, he knows better change it with a different twist instead of that one" but you didn't and now will have all of next chapter for murky to fail to tell Unity while they get back to everyone else(he said he flew pretty fair)and then murky can be even more happy. Just...ah, they are so cute together.
I am just so happy for Murk. Having the chance to rediscover love....
Murky shouldn't have done that. I don't know how, but Wicked Slit is going to get him back and it won't be pretty. Poor Murky, what has he gotten himself into?
I hope you're happy!
I hope you're happy, too.
I hope you're proud how you
Would grovel in submission
To feed your own ambitionnnnnn
Ahem... I mean, good chapter.
Yay, he's flying!
Oh my god, this is beautiful, I'm crying and happy and its so beautiful I just... it's, triumph, man! It's the homecoming, even if home is just someone else!
Everything, from before... it just doesn't compare.
There are no words...
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Original story wasn't actually designed to parallel it, but after I noticed how closely related they were, I felt it only appropriate to tip the hat with the title and a couple adjusted lines. ;)
It's the only respectable thing to do. Not nodding to it would have brought cries of "rip off!"
You know if you keep adding so many excellent characters to this story, you may need to expand that cover art
But seriously this is tied (With the original FoE actually) for my favorite story on the site! I love the way you write he characters, the way you develop them to such an extent but without it being burdensome on the reader to remember too much. I.E. I can't even remember the name of the medical stallion that died in that roulette match with Murky. Yet it was such a defining point for Glimmer that his character is echoed in her actions. The way you made this story far darker than even Project Horizons at times, and yet so more alluring than Pink Eyes at others. And not even mentioning how planned and original the plot is (I'd rather spare the comment section of a text wall...) I look to your writing as an inspiration on how to keep a story on track despite having so many sub-plots. Wow I really sound like a complete fan-filly now huh?
Aaanyway in regards to this chapter... So awesome! Murky got to fly! (If only briefly and not really by his own doing, but technicalities are overrated) In your face Regina! And Murky-Unity? I kinda had a feeling that was going to happen (She said "His InitialS" and Protoge only has one name...) But I figured he didn't remember due to repressed memories, not because of memory magic!
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I can only have my mind blown away so much.
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It's a shame how people can be about the little things. But, it is still fantastic to reference it!
I love where this is going
I love this story.
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You magnificent bastard! I came upon this story several months ago but never had the time to read the entire thing. Now that I'm out of college for the summer, I decided to read this through beginning to end in a marathon.
This story has made me feel so many emotions; from rage to laughter to horror to happiness.
But this chapter man, even after I've finished reading several minutes ago, I still can't get over the thought of what Unity and Murky had and what they had lost and what they may hopefully be able to regain. I literally had a tear fall down my face just thinking about it (a manly tear of course).
This is honestly one of the best OC-centered story that i've read anywhere here on Fimfiction. Thank you for taking the time and effort to share this with us.
Well. I know there was a lot of time spent getting this just right and I can safely say it was worth it. I like the tone the chapter took, it does really feel like the beginning of the end, like the first chapter in a final book or the final series on TV.
I also didn't see that plot twist coming at all, but all of that stuff was woven in beforehand was a masterstroke. It all fits together and makes sense.
4416975
Well, I just assumed they... um, did stuff, because if I'm not mistaken, Unity called her buck her "lover" a few times. Though... I think I would prefer if it turned out that they hadn't done it. Why? Because then when they would actually do it in the next chapter (in some separe sewer or something) Glimmer could tease Murky about it!
Oh, I just can't wait for the next chapter!
... Well played, came completely out of left field for me and still makes sense.
Thank you for the amazing fic and i look foward to your next update
Squeal! Every chapter is a joy to read, I really cant wait for the next one.
Oh my god I fucking love this story; how does this not have a 1000 likes yet.
You totally had me going with the whole Protege is Unity's stallion Twist but then you added another twist with it actually being Murky. It was a twist within a twist; an inception of twists, twistception.
I never saw this coming. I always thought that Unity's boyfriend was some random stallion who would wind up being dead and then Unity would hook up with Murky later on, but it was him all along. Murky has officially left the friendzone.
This is the first FoE fic I ever read. In doing so the story became Way much more intense because I thought he was the only pegasus and life on the wastes was just fillydelphia. This is my absolute favorite story ever made and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for making it.
I'm a little disappointed it wasn't actually Protege. Oh well. Can't have everything you want I guess. I'm just hoping that there's a happy ending for Protege afterall because from where he is right now he's pretty much lost everything.
This is an excellent chapter, and an excellent story, and I'd give it a thumbs up for this chapter but I can't because I gave it a thumbs up for an earlier chapter but I can't recall where or why. But this is epic and wonderful and brilliant and thank you. I usually say Fall of Hope is my favourite side story; now I honestly can't remember why. This is brilliant and awesome and oh so good.
OH MY GOD
THAT WAS SO FUCKING AMAZING. WAY TO GO, MURKY!!
*mansquee*
FUZ-- fuck it.
Wow. If I didn't know any better, having seen someone guess that in advance just made it all the more satisfying to learn... the TRUTH!
This chapter...just...MMPH! Love.
Marvelous.
I love you so much right now.
4424223 Take my word for it, keep reading. This story is amazing, if a little over the top at times. It has consecutively and successfully made me feel more feels than my entire military career.
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No need to worry about sounding like anything! I'm just glad to hear what you think. Believe me, I am quite incapable of ego to gloat over someone saying a lot of positive things. Just ain't in mah nature, man!
I am so very glad that you've been loving and I am honoured you consider it an inspiration. It does kinda make me feel surprised that people look on what I do in such a way to want to learn from it...I never ever thought there was that much depth and in some ways...I still don't. But wow, just wow. xD
I will say though, I really wanted to keep a focused story. Every character was introduced by Chapter 15 and all subplots I think by...20? Either way, we are at the end of all new things now. From here till the end, it's all resolution and climax. :)
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Thank you so very much and thank you for your continued following this story. I do recognise your avatar popping up each time. :3
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Glad the twist worked! It's been a nightmare balancing it since Chapter 1, an absolute nightmare and some people did guess it ahead of time. That it was a surprise is monumentally satisfying to me.
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I remember being very enamoured by the concept of "Marvel Moments" from Iron Man's director, of creating those "flash freezes" on film to make you think of a comic book panel and offer a clear set 'moment'. I try to bring that into writing to offer iconic moments to remember. :)
4428040 I can without a doubt say you had me completely fooled and I took Police Foundations in college. In the 4th semester they gave us Mock crimes to investigate and trained us to search for clues and I never saw this coming. So you managed to fool a guy who's been trained in police investigative techniques, good show.
Now in the next chapter (hopefully it'll be soon) we'll get to see if Murky finally gets laid. After it happens I'm totally expecting the group to stumble across a 200 year old "Congratulations on losing your virginity party" set up by Pinkie.
Also just out of curiosity how old is Murky. I personally imagine him as around 17-18.
4428027 Yeah... a lot of that is probably the Twilight in me over-analyzing things... But then again it doesn't matter what I'm reading I always try to learn something from the way it's written.
But I think that's the main thing I've always loved the most about this story (perhaps aside from the amazing characters and perfect moments of comedic relief) is how well you kept such a long story on track. Every chapter, every adventure they went on, was to help in their future plan of escape. Every action the antagonists took was to serve their own future agendas. The only character that seems to make random decisions at times is Protoge, and that's very fitting considering how torn his character is. I mean you even brought back some of their old loot stashes from what, like eleven chapters ago?
The way you write just makes it easy to read and keep reading despite the enormous length of this story. I mean going from chapter to chapter, it's hard to believe how much you've read into the story until you go back and think about how it all started. It sure doesn't feel like the Pit was nearly 840 thousand words ago
Fuck. YES.
*blasts Defying Gravity*
I truly thought that he wouldn't fly until the epilogue. Bravo, sir.
This was rough! I was rooting for Murkity since the beginning. I was hoping so hard the Protégé stuff was a very elaborate red herring, but I didn't think it would actually be! Oh... This is the /best/ thing. I've said it before and I'll keep saying it, Murkity is the best pairing!
Oh wow. That was just perfect. I love this story so freaking much. Best FOE sidefic IMO. And that twist there with Murky and Unity...holy crap. Have to say I did NOT see that coming.
I really can't wait for more.
More! More! More! Please this is art and should be treated as such. Keep working. Your going places man
OKAY WHY THE FUCK DOES FIMFIC NEVER TELL ME WHEN MURKY UPDATES!!!
4416506 Yea seriously he FUCKING CALLED IT!!! God I could kiss him right now!
Okay last comment for right now, I fucking love you so much right now Fuzzy
Finally.
After 5 goddamn days im done marathon-ing this.
Thank god.
Whoa, amazing story (I just got through it all) I was really surprised by the quality of it, I didn't expect it at all when I first found the link to it on a Vic2 Equestria AAR, I didn't even know there was any fanfiction for mlp (not anything serious like this at least) so im quite happy to have found this, great job, I'll be following this.
4416561 Sir, I've never said this to anyone ever before, but you're a master of foreshadowing!
For only a split second, many chapters ago, had I considered Unity's lost love to be Murky (with M.N.S.) but dismissed it (Murky couldn't write after all).
Then, many moons later you reveal to us that he was the one the made he loved had lost. Everything was set up perfectly, with just the right amount of foreshadowing to tell us without being too heavy handed about it.
Well met sir, well met.
4450429 if u liked this u shud read the original Fallout Equestria. the tale that started it all at http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/04/story-fallout-equestria.html