The Alicorn Warrior
Written by iAmSiNnEr
Edited by Stinium_Ruide
Chapter 19 - The Traveler and the Goddess
An icy storm surrounds the city of crystal;
A goddess hides away in her empire.
She now seeks the answer to why her world has collapsed around her.
She looks for a loved one, for one of her fellow goddesses.
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A traveler traverses the lands.
His face, shifting every so often.
The traveler is a third wheel; an unintended factor.
With knowledge he shouldn’t have, he sets out on his quest.
He brings information to the weary Goddess of Love and her beloved.
And for her, Hope accompanies him.
The door to the tavern slammed open. A cloaked pony stepped in as gusts of wind blew inside, making the curtains sway. The ponies in the tavern looked up, scrutinizing the new arrival in silence as the earth pony at the bar counter looked up and scowled.
“Shut the door!” he bellowed. “You’re letting the snow and cold in!”
The howl of the winter storm outside was muffled as the stranger closed the door, before he gingerly trotted to the counter and took a seat. Once he had settled down, the tavern had roared back into life as the crowd returned to their individual, private conversations.
“The storm’s getting bigger.” Sliding off his hood, a blue unicorn stared at the earth pony behind the counter. “Give me the best drink you have.”
“Ain’t seen you ‘round these parts before,” the earth pony commented as he focused on pouring the unicorn a tankard. “Rarely anyone outside our villages comes this far up North. I mean, sure, there have been more tourists ever since the Crystal Empire had returned...but our village is really off the beaten track. What’s your name, stranger?”
“Maximus,” the unicorn promptly replied. “Or you can just call me Max. And yours?”
“Dirty Glass,” he grunted. “So, what brings you this far North?” He slid the tankard over to Maximus, the liquid inside sloshing at the sides.
“Oh, I’m just traveling to the Crystal Empire.” Maximus grinned as the earth pony stiffened.
The tavern had gone silent again, all of the patrons now staring at him with a look of hostility in their eyes. “What business do you have there?” Dirty Glass carefully asked. “The Empire is closed. Everyone should know this.”
“Oh, just wanting to meet the Princess—” he broke off as every unicorn in the room dragged their stools aside and stood up, their horns flaring up. “Oh, come on, Captain, don’t you recognize me?”
“Bloody hell,” the earth pony cursed. “You?”
“Yep,” Maximus smirked. “Now, now, Captain Oak. Tell your ponies to stand down. Just wanted to test your defenses.”
Oak scowled. “If that’s really you, Traveler, what’s the password?”
“Nimble Terry Chack Check,” Maximus stated without a flicker of hesitation. “And with a cherry on top.”
“Stand down,” Oak sighed as his figure transmogrified to reveal an armored unicorn, the crest of the Crystal Empire proudly displayed on his breastplate. “It’s the Traveler.”
The unicorns grumbled as their own disguises melted off them, revealing more armed soldiers. “What is it this time, Traveler?” Oak asked as he pulled out a seat for himself. “Level One? Level Two? I hope it was worth your time traveling all the way up here.”
“This time, my information is even more important,” Maximus said, ignoring the tankard in front of him in favour of staring at Oak. “And by the way, your defenses are inadequate; my disguise wasn’t broken when I popped in.” ”
“Shut up,” Oak snapped. “It’s not our fault your spells bypass almost every ward we can conjure. Spit the information out, and you can leave with your payment.”
“Oh, no,” Maximus let out a throaty laugh. “This one's for the Prince and Princess’ ears only. Code, TS. Tee, Ess.”
Oak froze, his gaze boring into Maximus’s eyes. After a few moments of silence, he unfroze. “You sure?” he finally asked, the skin around his eyes taut. “Months of silence on that end, and you always said you never had information on that front.”
“Well, now I do.” Maximus grinned triumphantly. “So now you know why it is only for their Royal Majesties only.”
“If you’re messing with us…” Oak threatened. “Code Tee Ess is nothing to be taken lightly. You yourself know how important she is to Their Majesties.”
“Of course,” Maximus leaned back in his chair. “Who do you take me for? What are you waiting for? Send out the message!”
“Already done,” a burly earth pony to their left uttered. “They’re on their way. They also sent a message ahead to warn you that if you were joking, you better be running by the time they arrive.”
“Whatever,” Maximus shrugged. “I’m not lying. Besides, I have an interest in this too.”
“Yeah,” Oak snapped. “An interest for money. You’re just leeching off Her Royal Highness—”
“I can take care of it from here, Captain Oak,” a gentle voice spoke from the other side of the room, where the stairs were. Both Maximus and Oak looked over to see an alicorn standing there with a white unicorn stallion beside her. “I’d like to have some privacy with the Traveler, please. If he is speaking the truth, we need to hear this, alone.”
“You heard the Princess!” Oak shouted after a moment of hesitation. “Clear out!” In a matter of moments, everyone in the room vanished except for Maximus and the two new arrivals.
“Spill the beans,” the unicorn demanded. “Tell me: where is she?!”
“Now, now, Prince Shining Armor,” Maximus chided. “Manners. I’m the one with the information you need.”
“You dare—” he started forwards, but the alicorn held him back with her magic.
“I apologize for my husband’s rudeness, Traveler,” Princess Cadance murmured. “He is just worried, as am I. Shall we start over again?” Shining scowled, but Cadance stared at him with a pointed look.
“Sure!” Maximus cheerfully said.
“Greetings, Traveler, we meet again,” Cadance smiled warmly. “I see you’re in a different body from the last time.”
“Indeed,” Maximus nodded. “I needed a change. Anyways, my last form had a bounty on it.”
“Can we stop beating around the bush and get to it?” Shining exploded. “Tell me where my sister is so we can go get her!”
“Not so fast.” Maximus stood up. “I am unable to tell you where she is.”
“So, if you’re not going to give us her location,” Cadance mumbled softly. “What information do you have for us then?”
“I would if I could,” Maximus replied, shrugging. “But her location...somehow it’s been enchanted to appear on no map. I have tried tracking her, but it didn’t work. Anyways, it doesn’t matter. She’s coming back.”
Shining and Cadance turned and looked at each other. “To Equestria?”
“Yes.” Maximus nodded. “But that is not what I am here to tell you. Your spies would have told you that she was in Equestria eventually. I have more...substantial information.”
“Tell us,” Cadance pressed. “If what you tell us is truly important, I will give you whatever you want. I shall spare no expense to bring my sister-in-law home, and keep her safe from whatever is going on with Aunt Celestia and the nobles.”
“Something big is happening in two weeks,” Maximus murmured mysteriously. “She will be involved in it.”
“What?” Shining raised an eyebrow. “Impossible. None of our spies have reported anything on such a large scale.”
“Nobody knows about it...yet.” Maximus grinned. “Only I do.”
Shining groaned. “Is this from your imaginary friend Destiny, again?”
“Take it as you will,” Maximus stated as he started for the door. “You can choose to trust me or not. But to show my sincerity, I will not be asking for payment for this. I genuinely want you to have enough time to prepare for what’s ahead. Two weeks: that is all the time you have before you might lose her...forever.” With that, he threw the door open, and disappeared into the shadowy storm.
“Wait!” Cadance called out, galloping to the door. A entropic flurry of snow and ice cooked by her own storm pelted her senses.
“Inform our contacts in Equestria,” she said in a low voice. “We’re going there.”
“But—” Shining started.
“No buts!” she almost yelled. “We need to get there before Twilight does, or she’s going to be lost to us forever! Isn’t that why we made this storm? To keep our ponies safe from them? Now. We’re going to Equestria to bring her back, and make sure whatever’s going on with Auntie Celestia and Luna doesn’t affect her too.”
“Of course,” Shining nodded as he joined her side, staring out into the winter storm. “I only wish we’d have more information than just ‘something’s about to happen’...”
You and me both Shinning....
You and me both...
I like it! Good job with the chapter!
Hmmm, im kinda get Lost, is this before or after twilight loose in the battle?
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After, and how Maximus got there so fast is still a mystery...
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Thanks!
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No problem!
this is the best chapter so far I love it
Something REAL big is going down, im at the edge of my seat here. There are much stranger things at work than we know *cue Stranger Things intro music*
Love this chapter, but why the cliffhanger.
Hmm... so something is happening in Equestria, too...
What happened while you were gone, Twilight? You're going to have quite the welcoming committee when you get back...
Insert cliche #110. Of mysterious characters given ominous warning with little information because... plot
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Insert author answer:
I LIVE ON CLICHES
Welp, that sinks a nail in THAT idea... Definitely not Discord. Reads to much like personal knowledge of fate itself, and that's not Discords stick, quite the opposite, to the extent that our poor noodle might be sick. Fate vs Chaos is like Script A.I. vs Legitimate free will. So yeah, definitely not Discord. Don't know WHO Max is, but he ain't Discord.
That said, Maximus did report in to the princess... as a manipulator? as a helper? , he's more of an enigma than Pie family behavior patterns. What is he up to? .... he won't show up again till said two weeks in story are up will he .
As for a comment made by Freakwise, I do believe this is happening about the same time Rarity is admitting to a murder she didn't commit and got there by teleporting via body double dropout/in... however he's doing that. I'm still debugging some alternate ideas on that front, but got nothing that makes sense so far, sorry.
Wow, short enough post to post without a loop. Cool! Keep up the good writing and nice drop on the (we haven't even started to touch the deep end) sub-text.
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What if he's lying about the idea of fate?
What if he's just trying to trick us?
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hm. no thats too convenient.
its far too obvious to guess that he is manipulating Cadence to enter equestria to get brainwashed so that whoever is controlling ‘celestia’ can control her too...
no, no. thats too convenient.
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Agreed. Further, we have Discords patients, or rather, lack there of, to consider, should you be insinuating it might still be he.
I've had a good decent nap since the last post, and remembered something that might be relevant. One of the spells Starlight showed off (in cannon) was Dupliciduce Maximus, in which she combined two variants of speed magic to duplicate herself and literally stand next to herself for a few seconds. Teleportation may also have this glitch, in some of its variants, if used correctly, in which the original body is broken down for mana and rebuilt at target, but not actually require function to run in that order, resulting in clones outright. If the real Maximus was never anywhere near the colusium, this would explain the mana points image Starlight was seeing, even the confirmed kills of the same guy. Let's say Maximus really is just a unicorn, he'd still need a lot of mana, but he'd be compensated for every 'body' he derezed (I'm reaching for terminology here...) and have his range extended by the distance traveled by any given body he had out and about. Plus, change the blueprint on one, all of them would follow suit, explaining the exchange in the tavern in this chapter. Net result, a wide range network that cost a bit extra to feed, but doesn't actually use much mana at all, so long as the original remains strong enough to maintain the illusion. We haven't actually met Maximus yet!
ok this sound very huge with that kind of info
Ohh, something funky's going down in Equestria~
I'm not sure if you're intending to make Max really easy to hate, because I kinda do.
Also all this seems to reach into a paranormal realm (even for Equestria), given this seems to take a leaf from concepts of Prophecy, Destiny, Fate and the likes.
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Perhaps. But those take a backseat compared to the main storyline :P
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What if his mare friend's name is Destiny? :P
The only water in the Forest is the river.
So Maximus isn't a villain in this story?
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The definition of a villain is not set in stone, it depends on your thinking.
interesting, interesting...
... There just isn't enough information here. It's like a reader tease interlude, unrelated to the main plot of Twilight's adventures on the way home, without actually giving us anything.
I'm I the only person who noticed the Destiny reference here? I mean come on "the Traveler" who has a friend named Destiny. So the traveler guy is just the "speaker" which can speak to the light. Usually through visions.
Not gonna lie, I'm not too fond of pseudo-divine intervention stuff like this. Maximum seems more like an actual anomalous entity than a particularly skilled information gatherer. The plotholes are getting worse, too. Why didn't Cadance and Shining do anything about Twilight? No active interventional search? Even if Equestria was plagued with backend problems, Crystal Empire IS an independent entity from Equestria, as shown by Cadance's isolation act.
Now, I'll preface this by saying that your writing is good. Good language, good grammar, and at times you can really make interesting and engaging interactions and action. However, I just can't stand going through the weird bigger picture plot. I can't really say what's wrong, but I feel like I came into this fic expecting something, and that something was only delivered in the first few chapters. Once the larger plot kicks in the story just feels less... focused? It feels like the story ran away.
With that, I'm sorry to say but I'm dropping this here. Jugding by the amount of upvotes, I can see that this story hits for a lot of people, and I can see why. However, it's gonna be a miss for me. Was fun until it didn't, though, I genuinely enjoyed how you characterize the new Twilight.
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yeah, one year ago me was a bit...yeah
it's one of the reasons I hiatused this story - I couldn't really feel the energy I used to feel for it, and I know all the plot holes are glaring to my improved writer's mind