After a particularly busy day, Rarity and the rest of the Ponytones decide to have dinner together. However, Toe-Tapper and Torch Song want the evening to be more than just a chat between friends.
Big Mac has a wardrobe problem minutes before a Ponytones performance at the Rich's house. Rarity, as the group manager, will do her best to deal with such problem.
Checking in on her apple to make sure that the bat are in fact now harmless to it, Applejack is mortified to discover what Butterscotch has turned into. But he claims she can help him fight back against his instincts, and why shouldn't she trust him?
This was a fun romp. Since you asked in your notes:
- At some points you switch from past-tense to present tense and back:
"Oh yes, Macintosh. This is what I needed, good proper fucking." she gasps out.
"Eeyup." he replies before beginning.
- Also when you end dialogue and continue with "she said" or whatever, you shouldn't use a period. Instead, a comma, question mark, ellipses, or exclamation mark.
10518824 Thanks, glad you liked it. I did some quick editing last night and I'll give the whole thing a reread later today to try and make sure I kept the tenses straight and clean up the dialogue punctuation a bit more.
This was a fun romp. Since you asked in your notes:
- At some points you switch from past-tense to present tense and back:
- Also when you end dialogue and continue with "she said" or whatever, you shouldn't use a period. Instead, a comma, question mark, ellipses, or exclamation mark.
10518824
Thanks, glad you liked it. I did some quick editing last night and I'll give the whole thing a reread later today to try and make sure I kept the tenses straight and clean up the dialogue punctuation a bit more.