• Member Since 25th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 25th, 2013

ANNAGUNN


T
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Shadow Sprite hides in her room and refuses to see any pony. She is Invisible,unknown to the public eye, and without freinds. Celestia's cousin Shadow Sprite has hidden for long enough! Celestia and Luna decide it is time to force Shadow into the light of friendship. But at what cost?

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 29 )

:facehoof: Sorry if it isn't very well typed, I wrote it quite early in the morning :facehoof:
Please tell me if I can improve my story in any way,.......... or my typing :rainbowlaugh:

Well I'm off to bed. Good evening/Morning sirs and mams :moustache:

Pro tip: OC alicorn stories aren't usually treated warmly. They're usually just written because the author thinks alicorns are cool and wants one.

A story with a Pony Generator picture about an alicorn OC that is related to a main character, eh? Here is my reaction:

And what's with the ~ symbols in the title? They don't make sense, nor do they fit there. Get rid of them, your story already looks bad enough for being about an alicorn OC.

I really like this so far. Other than a few grammatical errors, which don't bother me in the slightest, because I do the same, it's pretty solid. :rainbowlaugh:
This is a clever idea and I can't wait to see where it goes! :pinkiehappy:

Seriously?

... well I guess the bright side is you didn't ship yourself with Twilight Sparkle or something.

1156409 What story? I was merely pointing out a bright side to an otherwise bleak situation.

At the core of the argument against alicorn fics is thus: Why on earth does your OC HAVE to be an alicorn? What does he or she need to be or do that cannot be done with a unicorn, pegasus or earth Pony? This is why most alicorn OC's are immediately treated as pretentious or presumptuous on the author's part.

Also, the royalty = alicorn connection is outdated by season 1. Prince Blueblood was just a unicorn, and was royalty. Based on how I received Hearth's Warming Eve, I feel it would actually be more common to see unicorn royalty than alicorn royalty. I suppose at the end of the day, most peeps make their OC an alicorn to give the appearance of cosmic importance in their story.

This is all I can say on the subject though, since I have no constructive opinions (positive or negative) on the story itself other than the trite alicorn emphasis.

>> StayOuttaMyShed Ok I'm not going to lie, I lol'd so hard :rainbowlaugh:

>> Helljumper117 Thanks! I hope you know you're gonna have to keep reading these stories if I ask for proof reading and send them to you....So if you don't like them just tell me no :derpytongue2:

>> Dimondium
I hope there isn't anybody who expects naughty scenes with Twilight :pinkiesick: Also I am reading that story now. Thank you for the link :scootangel:

>> Pegasi will rule Thank you! I will try my best to improve my story as I go :pinkiesmile:

>> John H. I respect your oppinion, but I am going to continue my story. Maybe I'll write some others on the side so everypony is happy :pinkiehappy:

>> Timefly Thank you for your criticism. I will keep this in mind for my next story and am happy you told me. :derpytongue2:

Replying is irritating :facehoof: :pinkiecrazy: I can't figure out how to do it correctly :/ all that shows up is a bunch of numbers! :derpyderp2:

1157871 Just click on the reply button for the comment that you want to reply to, wait for your screen to take you down to the comment box where you'll see the numbers, and then press space. Then you can type out your reply. The numbers turn into the persons username after you post the comment.

1156128 I changed the pic. It took me forever to make but I hope you like it :twilightsmile:

Very well written I don't why people would dislike it

Chapter one: read. Prognosis: good. Chapter two: next.

Chapter two: read. Summary: I love it. I especially like how awkward Shadow Sprite is when first meeting the other ponies. For some reason. Not quite sure what.

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