Lyra had a decent life. It wasn't perfect but it was hers and it was good. Now all of that is gone and she's in the worst of all possible worlds.
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Nice work!
10366205
Thanks! And nice work reading ten pages in a little longer than it takes me to write the blog update! Twilight approves too!
10366209
Well, such short chapters are fast to read, plus I get email notifactions on my phone app
Good stuff, and it’s all logically consistent. Paneer is deformed because her mother was super irradiated. Threstrals had an advantage for surviving the bombs... and so on.
I can’t wait for more.
10372124
Thank you. I hate plot holes; if you see anything that doesn't make sense, let me know and I'll fix it if I can.
I am intricately familiar with that position of 'you don't have to like it, you just have to deal with it'; my heart goes out to you, poor Ly-Ly - let's just hope you're eventually accepted, instead of tossed out like yesterday's used Stimpaks.
You do a good job continuing to hammer home Lyra's naivety about the wasteland and the way things work now. You do well with that sense of the weight of the world against her; everything sucks for everyone but at least everyone else knows what's going on and Lyra is still figuring it out. It makes me sad for her, but you do it in a way that like... you understand where everyone is coming from. I mean Vindaloo is a reactive bitch but I get why she is the way she is, you know? And I like that. I also like that this story is really character-focused, rather than "the adventure," so to speak, and it helps make the narrative much more alive.
11867829
I like Vin a lot, but she's hard to take. There's a bit later, a few lines from Vin when she can let her mane down a little, that say a lot about her personality and how she feels about herself.
You won't get this, put part of Vin and Crispy is 'making Marcie Long and Preston Garvey from Fallout 4 tolerable'.