In which Rarity believes in true love and Applejack thinks Rarity's crazy if she thinks she has a chance with her cousin.
Everyone else in the story are just there for plot convenience.
Cover art background slightly edited in order to not mislead, but sourced nonetheless. I can't draw, I can barely write.
Good story.
Very nice! The little one-sentence stingers at the end of the first few sections were spot-on. You have an excellent knack for timing there. However, where those first few transitions were some of the strongest moments of the story, I felt the ones towards the middle and end were some of the weakest.
Take for example this bit:
So, we go from Rarity and Braeburn talking, to some exposition, then we end in a totally different location with two totally different characters talking. It's not impossible by any stretch to talk your way from one scene to another without any sort of section break, but I feel like this one (and by extension, the rest of the transitions that you approached in this way) could have been handled better. This section in particular slowed the pace of the story down considerably. Especially considering the scene after Rainbow and Sunset's distraction is seperated by a page break, I think it would be perfectly acceptable to do the same thing here.
Here's a quick n' dirty redo of that same scene, with a short stinger followed by a page break followed immediately by the next scene.
This revision is kinda choppy, and it could definitely be dressed up better in your own unique style (which, just to clarify, I find charming!), but it illustrates my point that short and snappy transitions better move the story's pacing along and keep the tone light, compared to longer, more roundabout transitions.
All in all, I thought this was a really nice read, and an excellent contender for the shipping contest. Congratulations on posting it, and best of luck in the judging!
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Thank you so much for the advice I really do appreciate comments like these because it helps me understand where can improve and helps me grow as a writer. I'll take what you've suggested and try to incorporate it into my own style. Thank you once again, I hope you have a wonderful day (night? Is time even real?)
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Thank you!
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You're very welcome.