• Member Since 8th Jan, 2020
  • offline last seen 20 minutes ago

Hammerhead


Let's give this writing thing a go...

E
Source

In the before times, young and newborn changelings were taken care of in nurseries by changelings whose jobs were to take care of them.

However, things have changed, and now other grown-up changelings can take care of their own young.

Ocellus, one young changeling who's spent all of her life in a nursery, will leave to be taken care of by two grown-up changelings, her actual parents. How will she cope with this change?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 32 )

I need help I'm having trouble downloadin my story on hear I have ritan it I have read the rules how do I do this

Is the changeling in the picture really what Ocellus used to look like?

10306958
Ocelleus has no cannon appearance for that time of her life, so it's just one possible interpretation.

10306777
If your comment here is representative of your writing quality in your story, you will probably not be able to publish anything*, but the process isn't too hard.

If your story is not on FimFiction yet, you'll need to do that:
1) Go here: https://www.fimfiction.net/manage/stories and click "New Story", and put in all of the basic information.
2) Put your story into the chapter(s). Copy-paste when you've written already.
Then if your story was already there, or you've just done steps 1 and 2 now:
3) When looking at your story's page, click "Submit". Your first story will take some time to get approved or rejected, no matter how good it is, so come back later to see if it uploaded.

* From the rules: Stories with barely any punctuation/proper spelling. We don’t judge stories on their content, but stories without a basic level of grammar will be failed.

This was...interesting. I like the idea of this story very much but I didn't feel like I was hooked at all. There's nothing really....wrong with it, but it seems to be lacking something. What that something is escapes me, unfortunately.



Overall: 5/10

Well, I for one quite liked this, and it touches on something the show had very much blurred over, the difficulties of the changelings all adjusting to their new lives once reformed...and just how radical and alarming a shift it must've been for the young at the time it happened. It must've taken some time for some of them to adapt, and this fic does it well.

Doing it through the eyes of Ocellus, getting to know parents and family she had never known before now, was perhaps the obvious way of doing it, but at the same time it's also probably one of the more effective. You definitely feel that familial love, but the awkwardness and nervousness of figuring out how the best express it and towards someone that, despite being your flesh and blood, is really more stranger than anything. :twilightsmile:

There's a couple points where it might have benefited from some more refining, and some of the perspective shifts from character to character don't always work right, or at least weren't done at a well-timed spot in the story, but these problems are fairly minimal. There's also a point here and there where it'd have been cool to see it fleshed out and expanded more than what's already presented here...but at the same time, that's not absolutely necessary for the story to have either--what is here is enough to get the needed points across. All in all, the story successfully does what it set out to do and in mostly all the right ways. :pinkiehappy:

Very nice. Really captures the feel of a young kid with autism.

10307307
Thanks, I'm glad you liked it!

how dare you write something so adorably heart warming. keep up the good work

Always glad to see more buggo lore! Even more glad to see whenever I'm not the only one not riding the 'Chrysalis was everyling's mom' bandwagon. :trollestia: The changelings, only being half insect, are not necessarily like colony insects when it comes to reproduction. I prefer to think that Chrysalis forced all the hive's young to be hatched and raised under her supervision, ensuring the next generation of loyal, vicious subordinates.

Nice take on Ocellus's origin story~ :twilightsmile:

10308383

Even more glad to see whenever I'm not the only one not riding the 'Chrysalis was everyling's mom' bandwagon.

Likewise! So we can all not ride that bandwagon together. :pinkiehappy:

10308383

Even more glad to see whenever I'm not the only one not riding the 'Chrysalis was everyling's mom' bandwagon.

Yeah, if it wasn't obvious from what the book in the story said, I treat the "insect" part to be closely related to beetles, and all beetles lay eggs as opposed to a single "Queen". It'd also raise concerns about the long-term of the hive once Chrysalis left, never returned and no other Queen took her place since I'm also not a fan of the "Ocellus is the next Queen" headcanon either.

I prefer to think that Chrysalis forced all the hive's young to be hatched and raised under her supervision, ensuring the next generation of loyal, vicious subordinates.

Also had the same idea that having all the young raised separately was something Chrysalis enforced, with the intention of making sure new generations were raised to her expectations and way of living. She could have secretly intended to enforce it to ensure changelings couldn't share love easily as well.

I love reading King of the Love Bugs!

10309170
Thorax's design in-particular is based off the Rainbow Stag Beetle, and the changelings' shells in general seem to mimic the kind of curved shells beetles have, so I'd say that's a very fair comparison. :raritywink:

And thank God somebody said it. I don't like the idea of Ocellus being queen, either. :twilightoops:

So glad you're enjoying KoLB! :scootangel:

10308383

To be fair, if Chrysalis actually WAS the queen-mother type, she wouldn't exactly be the most MOBILE of changelings. And she wouldn't have time to be all nasty and evil. She'd be too busy being anchored to the floor and ceiling of some kind of incubation chamber in the hive with an egg sac the size of a house bolted to her abdomen. No time for Evil when you're literally a baby-making-machine.


Nature-Accurate Chrysalis: I don't have time to invade CANTERLOT- URRRGH! That's five- Do you have any idea how much work I have in here? Keeping the generations flowing is a never-ending process! If I didn't have half a dozen drones constantly bringing me food and water, I'd starve where I sit! Nursedrone! Six more on the way! Get ready! I mean, calling me 'Queen' is almost insulting. I don't really run the place so much as direct traffic in here. And how could I? I've been stuck in this room for years. I couldn't invade another city, let alone country, if I tried. I don't even know what this 'Canterlot' looks like. And even if I did, how far do you think I'd get hauling this cargo around? I wouldn't be infiltrating and impersonating, THAT's for sure. Maybe if you used my butt as a siege engine, I might sit on a wall, but that's about it. Now if you'll excuse me- NURSEDRONE! WATER!

10309170
10308517
10308383

The problem with “Chrysalis is everyone’s mom” wasn’t so much the idea itself (there is logical justification to it which I could go along with on a story-by-story basis), it was more the fact that pretty much EVERYONE ran with it, to the point it turned it to the ‘Lyra is obsessed with humans’ of changeling fan fiction. It felt like a lot of people starting going with it because everyone else did and, as a result, nobody really ventured to try different ideas.

10309652
Yeah, this. It was practically headcanonically accepted throughout the fandom. My problem with it was, despite how Chrysalis was so easily removed from the equation without a replacement queen, and then when Ocellus got confirmed parents, so many people still stuck with this theory as if it was objective fact, or was still the most plausible theory. It wasn't.

I get flack for saying it but die-hard Chrysalis fans and OG changeling fans can be some of the most stubborn and unpleasant twits in the fandom. The pure outrage and drama from the S6 finale had fallout repercussions that lasted almost longer than the Twilicorn drama. :applejackconfused:

“So, Ocellus, do you want to know why I enjoy going to these sessions?” she asked. Ocellus did not respond or even move, but Tansy persevered. “Back in the early days, your father and I worked in the scouts, the faction that specialised in studying and investigating our enemies other creatures.” She almost forgot that changelings like herself had to get past certain outdated terms, fortunately, no one around her took notice, so she continued.

That doesn’t work in dialogue. If you’re going to have her say this, have her instead say; “Back in the early days, your father and I worked in the scouts, the faction that specialized in studying and investigating our ene-uh, I mean, other creatures.”

There was no sound or movement. “We could play a game, or I can show you how we take care of the garden.” No response. Scarab glanced over to his own burrow next door and quickly got an idea he knew he should have tried first. “You know… we never got to introduce you to the rest of the family, didn’t we?”

Did

The nurse can see why her parents are happy. “Happy to hear, it looks like you’re healthier too.” Ocellus smiled back and returned to the book.

Could.

(Edit: also, switch “are” with “were” there as well.)

Overall a lovely story, and a very interesting look at the transition from parasite to social butterflies that the Changelings made. Not something I ever thought about before, but I could absolutely see this being canon.

10309652 10309784
To be fair, though, up until that season six finale and Chrysalis got ousted, there wasn't really any reason to doubt it that was given within canon. Indeed, canon details on changelings were so scant that for fans to adopt such widely accepted headcanons in its place was probably to be expected--it's what happened with the bat ponies after all. We knew very little about what changeling life was even like outside of the Canterlot invasion in the show for a long time.

And when you think about it, at the time, it wasn't an unreasonable assumption--the changelings were clearly insect-like, operated in a society openly referred to as a hive, and were subservient to a queen that biologically stands out from the rest precisely because she is queen. It didn't take an expert on insects to figure out that the changelings could easily be eusocial, as those are all traits of eusocial insects. Indeed, it was pointed out to me once that this was the writers original intent when they first created Chrysalis for "A Canterlot Wedding," and I know that I honestly have no ground to try and dispute that, because it easily could've been at the time and the show only decided to go a different route later on once it proved the changelings were going to be more than a one-off.

And I have to admit, my being against the Chrysalis as the mother of all idea is a fairly recent thing...if only because I hadn't really thought too hard about it until about that same point in time. The point where it really breaks down for me is simply the need for the changelings to each be capable to act as individuals and think independently and for themselves--which both the fanon and the canon was starting to promote at the time, and no wonder, as there's more possibilities to explore that way--and when you start applying that to all of the logical conclusions, it just made more sense to abandon that idea and pursue other possibilities for the changelings. The other arguments against it already presented by other commenters only further cemented that conclusion in my brain, and then season six came along, and, for me, that settled the matter.

But people put a lot of faith and support in their headcanons these days, way more than they really should, and are thus greatly and unreasonably offended when the canon inevitably goes contrary to it, as it always does. I mean, half the reason The Last Jedi gets so much hate from the Star Wars fans is because it didn't follow the popular headcanons. :facehoof: (Personally, I liked Last Jedi precisely because it didn't follow those expectations, and that was part of the original trilogy's secret to success too, so I honestly don't get how this is even a problem among the Star Wars fans--they should already know that)

10309539
I actually rather like Nature-Accurate Chrysalis. There should be more fanfiction on her. :rainbowlaugh:

That said, I know fans who worked around that by simply assuming that such "layings" were only sporadic, at only certain times of the year or when certain actions were taken in advance or certain other conditions were met to promote it, and I admit, I always did see that as a reasonable enough of a compromise for that little problem.

But yeah, still prefer the idea that changelings all have their own families. :twilightsmile:

10309784
Yeah, idk why some fans of the OG Changelings are so closed and stubborn.

Anyway, i love this story, not only because of best buggo Ocellus, but also, because I love the lore presented here.

I don't like at all the idea that Chrysalis is the mother of all changelings, it makes little sense to me.
Instead, that she by order decides that all the eggs are watched by her and the little ones are raised exactly as she wants, now that's something that chrysalis would do

10309977
I definitely don't defend how rushed and sudden the turn around was. We needed way more backstory on how the changelings truly felt about Chrysalis, so that one inspirational speech would make sense as a catalyst for sudden change. We were shown a savage horde who laughed along with Chrysalis, didn't scorn her as thier only option, until the change was already made.

But again, my issue is with people seething about things that have been said and done, and exercising ignorance because they still prefer thier headcanons.

It comes down to people willing to adapt to imperfect show decisions, filling in blanks the best way they can and moving on, and people who refuse to. But these imperfections are inevitable, especially on a show with limited time slots and allotted episodes with which to tell stories. I find it a waste of energy to let the occasional writing shortcoming grind you to a halt. Headcanon are made to be updated and adapted... because they're not even the primary source.

She placed the vase near the entrance, filled it with soil and emerging from it were a few flowers, pink and bright blue in colour.

Ooooh, symbolism!

10309974
Made the fixes, thanks!
10310003
10309977

Headcanon are made to be updated and adapted... because they're not even the primary source.

So much agreed on this! I wouldn't even be sure to consider them a secondary source. It doesn't exactly help that it's become easier to get in touch with producers and writers on social media, so it's easier to complain that a theory of yours didn't come true than to let them make the story they want to make and adapt from that instead. I feel that's what led to Star Wars, and Rise of the Skywalker is what happened when those producers caved in.
10310495
I'm glad someone pointed that out! 😊

Love the story. Ocellus a year later wins a lottery to be the first changeling at the school of friendship. ;-)

Very sweet. I didn't realize until near the end that those two are Ocellus's biological parents.

aawwwwww, so cute

Now there's the Ocellus that we all know and love. :twilightsmile: I was wondering when she was going to arrive. Gosh, being forced to give up their child against their will gave poor Scarab PTSD-like flashbacks. He must have wanted a family of his own really bad. :fluttercry:

JUST 1 WORD

Aww this was a nice backstory of Ocellus how she went through and she was not a nice one but then throughout the days she started to warm up to them and even trying to update an old book this was a very sweet story nice job on it

This is such a good story. Very well done!:twilightsmile:

Login or register to comment