Operation Exquisite Corpse

by The Red Parade

Chapter Two (Lumina Faith)

Derpy drifted over the rooftops of Ponyville, waving cheerfully at the other residents who called out to her. Sure, maybe they were saying “Watch out!” or “Be careful!”, but that was usually the first thing everypony would say to her, so it was their own special version of saying hello.

“Right, I can’t get distracted now! Especially after Lyra gave me so many muffins…” said the mare, patting her delivery bag. The glorious muffins held within promised Derpy a wonderful afternoon together– “No! Bad Derpy! You’re a mailmare first and you should never forget that!”

“That’s right!” She could’ve sworn she could hear her old drill sergeant barking orders into her ear. Funny, Parcel Post sounded different from what she remembered. “Mailmare first! And friend second! Or maybe it is first too? Being a friend is pretty important, and mailmares are supposed to be your friendly neighborhood mailpony, so maybe it is first!”

“But can two things both be first?” Derpy asked aloud, tapping her chin.

“I dunno! Um, Derpy?” Wow, Parcel must have inhaled some helium and eaten a lot of sugar muffins.

“Oooh, muffins,” she murmured. She could almost taste the muffins. A trip to Sugarcube Corner after the Manehatten delivery wouldn’t hurt, right?

“Derpy!” And maybe she should visit Nurse Redheart. Hearing voices can’t be a good thing, but then again, this was Ponyville. “DERPY!”

“Wah!” Her asynchronous wings suddenly started flapping at the same time, throwing Derpy off her rhythm. She clutched her mailbag tight as she tried to recover, eyes spinning in an attempt to focus anything solid amidst the blur of colours. She eventually managed to correct herself, then looked around for whatever had interrupted her.

“Sorry!” said Pinkie before she disappeared. Derpy blinked and Pinkie was back. “Had to get your attention!” And she was gone again.

She looked down to see the party pony trotting briskly on the ground before bunching up her legs and springing up to Derpy’s level again. “I need to ask you something!”

Derpy tilted the angle of her wings, slowing down enough so that Pinkie no longer had to run to catch up. Just as she was about to descend to the ground, her friend bounced up again and waved a hoof. “You don’t have to land!”

“O-kay? What do you need, Pinkie?” She glanced in the direction of Sugarcube Corner. “D’you need to make another order with the confetti place?”

“Nah, I got enough!”–boing– “You’re going to Manehatten right?”

“Yeah, how’d you know?” Derpy patted her mailbag, double-checking that the package was still there. “Manehatten’s not on my schedule today and I’m pretty sure you weren’t with Lyra and BonBon?”

“Haha, please!” Something colourful got shoved into her hooves. She examined it and tilted her head as she read the hastily scrawled address on it. “I need that delivered today! Can you do that for me, Derpy?”

“Sure, Pinkie, but isn’t this one of your portable, time-delayed parties?” She glanced at the address again. “Who needs a party in Manehatten?”

“Who doesn’t need a party in Manehatten?” chirped the pink mare. “Anyway, this one’s super duper looper important! I’ll have a fresh batch of muffins for you when you get back!”

Derpy’s mouth watered at the prospect of even more muffins and she snapped into a salute. “Don’t worry, I’ll deliver it! As a member of the Equestrian Postal Service, I won’t let you down!”

“Great!” Pinkie stopped bouncing up and frantically waved her arms. “I’ll see you later!”

She waved goodbye to her friend before carefully placing the portable party into her bag. Flapping her wings harder to gain altitude, Derpy veered towards the east and began to soar towards the metropolitan city.

With the wind rushing under her feathers and the sun beating down on her back, she let her mind drift to other things. Between thoughts of muffins and relaxing after a long day of deliveries, the skyscrapers of Manehatten loomed closer and closer. Soon enough, she was flying between buildings, nodding at fellow mailponies who returned the gesture. All in a day’s work!

Derpy slowed down and reached into her bag to check the address of Pinkie’s package again. 123 Apple Street? Hey, wait a minute… She rummaged around in her bag for the package Lyra had given her. Huh, same address! Weird, but that makes my job easier!

She glided down towards an intersection, squinting at the street signs. Fifth Street? Gee, I’m pretty far from the main Manehatten EPS branch. Just as she was gearing up to leave, a familiar voice called out to her.

“Derpy, darling!” The mare in question turned to see Rarity trotting up to her with an earth pony mare at her side. “It’s wonderful to see you! I take it you’re in the city to make deliveries?”

“Yep!” said Derpy, placing the packages back into her bag. “Oh, Rarity, you wouldn’t happen to know where Apple Street is, would you? I don’t usually come to Manehatten, so I was wondering if you’d know!”

Rarity rubbed her chin as she thought. “Hmm, I’m afraid not, but Coco here might! She’s a dear friend and occasionally helps out at Rarity For You.” She gestured at her companion.

“Coco Pommel is my full name,” said the tan pony. “If I remember correctly, Apple Street is pretty far from here. I can lead you there if you’d like?”

“Oh, that’d be great!” Derpy nodded enthusiastically. “Lead the way, Miss Pommel!”

The pair started to make their way down the street, chatting amicably and leaving Rarity to help an anxious stallion in a trench coat descend from a taxi. He looked a little lost and was frantically gesturing to the unicorn, but Derpy was sure she could handle it. Either way, she had an important delivery to make!

Author's Note:

Chapter written by Lumina Faith