Lord Thistleroot
“I tracked the necklace like you asked me to,” Al said. “Led me to this kid.” He nodded toward Thistleroot.
Princess Celestia studied Thistleroot from her throne. “What were you doing with it?”
“Scootaloo gave it to me,” Thistleroot managed, voice quivering as he winced away from her stare. “Your majesty,” he added hastily.
Celestia sighed. “I should have known she’d do something like that.”
“Foolish girl,” Al added.
Thistleroot shot him a glare. “She isn’t—”
“Anyway,” Al said, talking over him, “I don’t know her well enough to track her directly. If she’s not made contact with anypony by now, she’s either been captured or killed.”
A cold weight settled at the pit of Thistleroot’s stomach. “This is all my fault,” he said, more to himself than anypony. “If I hadn’t—”
“Save the wallowing for later, kid,” Al cut him off. “We need to know exactly what happened out there.”
Thistleroot swallowed once and hesitantly gave them an account of the evening, starting with the changeling attack on Canterlot and ending with his rescue. “Then Mr. Kazam blasted the changelings away and brought me here.”
Celestia nodded grimly. “I’ll put out the word to the Royal Guard to keep their eyes open for her.”
“A lot of good that’ll do. You know there’s no way she outflew Lirean.”
“Will you shut up?” Thistleroot snapped. “She got away. She promised she would.”
“Oh, she promised, did she? Well, that changes everything!”
“Starswirl, that’s enough,” Celestia said.
The old pony harrumphed and turned back to her. “Send out your guards to look for her if you want, but we need to start planning our own moves while we’re at it.”
“On that point, I concur.” Celestia’s horn flashed and a bell chimed. A royal guardspony entered the room. “Please go find Shining Armor and send him here.” The guard left and she turned back to Thistleroot, who’d raised a hoof awkwardly. “Yes?”
“Uh, sorry, Princess, but did you just call him Starswirl?”
“Oh, yes I did.” Celestia answered as Starswirl gave a frustrated groan.
“As in the Starswirl?” Thistleroot asked, eyes widening and the corners of his mouth twitching up in disbelief. “Starswirl the Bearded. Or, I guess Starswirl the Shaved. I mean, there were rumors and theories that he was still alive but—”
“Thistleroot, this isn’t the best time for that.”
The small smile dropped from his face. “Oh, yeah. Sorry.”
“If you two are quite done, we need to figure out why Lirean had her changelings attack.”
“Wasn’t it to,” Thistleroot hesitated before deciding on his next word, “capture Scootaloo?”
“Doubt it,” Starswirl answered. “Or at least, I doubt that was the only reason. If they were just after her, a small team hitting her without warning would have been more effective. They had another motive.” He looked up to the princess. “What do you think, diversion? Keep the guards occupied to find something in the castle?”
Princess Celestia nodded. “They didn’t enter Canterlot Tower, that was the first thing I checked. The elements are still safe.”
“Wouldn’t the changeling’s know what they were after?” Thistleroot asked.
Starswirl shook his head. “They don’t need that kind of information to act as a decoy, and Lirean knew some of them would be captured. We’ll interrogate them, but it won’t come to anything.” He sighed. “Princess, I think it’s time we stop beating around the bush with all of this.”
“You’ve heard my answer. I won’t repeat it.”
“Now, just hear me out for a second. We don’t need to go tearing the answers out of his head. A little verus lactiflora will get the job done.”
Seeds of Truth, Thistleroot translated automatically. A plant with several magical properties and the only known cure for the cutie pox.
“It’s still illegal,” Celestia said.
“You wrote the laws!” Starswirl said in a huff of frustration.
“And they’re pointless if I just ignore them any time the need arises. We will not compromise Star Shine’s free will.”
Starswirl sighed heavily. “Can you at least bring him in? It won’t hurt to question him again.”
Celestia nodded and turned toward Thistleroot. “I believe that’s all we can do for now. If you want to wait for Shining Armor, I can ask him to send a guard to escort you home, Thistleroot.”
Thistleroot nodded thoughtfully before blinking. “Princess, would it be okay for me to stick around?”
Celestia pursed her lips. “If you want. Actually, that’s probably for the best. The changelings know where you live. It would certainly be safer.”
“Yeah, that too.”
Celestia arched an eyebrow. “That too?”
“Well, I kind of feel some of this is my fault, since she gave me the necklace, and I want to do what I can to help. Just until they find Scootaloo.”
Starswirl gave an agitated groan and Celestia shot him a glare. “You have nothing to feel guilty of, but I see no problem with that,” she said, offering him a reassuring smile. It only lasted a moment before being replaced with a thoughtful frown. “Actually, Thistleroot, why don’t you wait with us for Star Shine?”
“Huh?” Thistleroot answered eloquently.
“Celestia, hall,” Starswirl said, turning and stomping past Thistleroot.
“This will only take a moment,” Celestia promised. “Make yourself comfortable.” She left Thistleroot alone in the throne room as he still worked to wrap his head around her last offer.
*****
Starswirl was waiting for her out in the hall, eyes dark and expression more gruff than usual. “Just what are you playing at?” he asked.
“He’s already been kidnapped once,” Celestia said. “The closer he is to me, the safer he is, and he asked for some way to help.”
“Uhuh,” Starswirl said. “Those are all nice justifications. Now what’s the reason?”
Celestia sighed. Her old teacher always was able to see right through her. “Does it matter?”
“I know that look you get when you’re hatching some plan, and it’s never good news. That and your habit of letting kids save the world...” He trailed off.
Celestia arched an eyebrow.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he said. “Nightmare Moon, Discord, Sombra.”
“Luna and I were only children when we saved you from the specters, if I recall.”
“That’s different. This kid is too soft. He won’t even admit that this filly is probably—”
“It just so happens that I’m holding off on that conclusion myself, thank you,” Celestia said.
“Point being, he ain’t no destined hero. He can’t even fight off a pair of changelings.”
“Your concern is noted. I don’t plan on asking him to wield the Elements of Harmony, but he’s already been dragged into this mess, and if he wants to help, I intend to give him a chance.”
Starswirl dipped his head. “If I’d known we’d be playing babysitter, I’d have stayed in Mexicolt.”
*****
Thistleroot paced nervously across the throne room, glancing over his shoulder at the door every few seconds. Maybe he’d misheard. When he asked to stay and help, he meant helping cleaning the mess from the attack or cooking for the wounded or something. Why would Celestia want him there while they questioned Star Shine?
Maybe she wanted him nearby so that he’d be one of the first to hear any news about Scootaloo. They would bring any word straight to her, so if he was kept nearby, he wouldn’t have to wait as long.
Thistleroot dropped to his haunches. The fact that he’d asked her for a favor at all should have been more surprising than it was. A few weeks ago, he’d never even met their monarch, and now...
Now he was sitting in the throne room.
Thistleroot gave a nervous chuckle as he turned his head to get a good look in every direction. It was the actual throne room, where the princess issued royal decrees and governed their entire country. And he was there.
The throne caught his eye. Tall, majestic, trimmed in solid gold. He’d never imagined he’d be so close. Would she mind if he touched it?
He edged closer and tapped the golden arm of the seat with a hoof. Another nervous laugh. He’d touched the royal throne. He glanced over his shoulder again, to be sure nopony was watching. The room was empty.
“All hail the mighty lord Thistleroot!” He declared, hopping onto the throne with a goofy grin. “Off with his head! Raise the taxes!”
The door at the end of the room opened, and he fell out of the throne into a heap on the floor. “I didn’t, I swear!”
*****
“Princess,” Star Shine said in greeting as he was walked into the throne room, escorted by two guards. His dark blue coat and silver mane were less well groomed than usual, but he still wore a confident smile. “And Thistleroot, so good to see you again.”
“Yeah, you too. How’s the head?” Thistleroot asked, mimicking a chopping motion.
“I told you not to talk,” Starswirl said.
“Sorry,” Thistleroot said, miming a zipper over his mouth.
“I’m surprised to see you here,” Star Shine continued as the guards hoofcuffed him to a chair set before the throne and withdrew. “I didn’t realize it was bring your colt to work day in the Royal Guard.”
“We want to know what the changelings are after, Star Shine.” Celestia said.
“Too bad,” he answered.
“Don’t be so quick,” Starswirl said. “Maybe you should wait and hear what happens if you refuse.”
“Oh? Are you going to tear the answers out of my mind? Compel me to answer? Torture me? And here I thought you were all ponies, not changelings.”
Starswirl sighed. “Well, we asked nicely, princess. Anything else we can try without breaking your candy coated laws?”
“As a matter of fact, there is something. Would you join me out in the hall again?”
Starswirl’s ears perked up curiously. After a moment of thought, they drooped again and he led the way.
“We’ll only be a moment,” Celestia said to Thistleroot.
“Wait, you’re not going to just leave me in here with him?”
“You’ll be fine. There’s a dampening effect over the entire room and guards are just outside the doors. Just keep an eye on him.”
Thistleroot hesitated. “Yes, princess.”
“Have another go at the throne if you want, it suited you well,” she added with a wink before turning away.
“I was hoping nopony saw that,” he groaned.
“This is a waste of time,” Star Shine said when they were gone. “Nothing Celestia is willing to do could compare to what the changelings would do to me if they even thought I was a traitor.”
“What about a bribe?” Thistleroot mused.
“Excuse me?”
“Oh, I was just thinking, what if instead of threatening you, they offered you more than the changelings are? I mean, your friends haven’t even helped you break out. The princess could pull a few strings.”
Star Shine laughed. “I doubt your princess would be willing to offer me an entire city all my own. Even if she did, I couldn’t keep it a secret if I just strolled out of prison. Lirean would have me killed within a week. I’ll take a few weeks of jail if it means throwing my chips in with the winning side.”
Thistleroot grinned. “Makes sense.”
“It does, doesn’t it?” Star Shine agreed. “I don’t even know what Celestia thought she would accomplish bringing me here.”
“She underestimated you,” Thistleroot said. “I know the feeling. Ponies are always underestimating me. Remember?” He mimed a chopping motion again.
Star Shine’s face soured for a moment, but then he laughed. “A mistake I won’t make a second time, I promise.”
“Good, that would just be insulting.”
“At least you understand though. My so called superiors all thought I was a mindless pawn. They never thought I’d catch on.”
“Catch on to what?” Thistleroot asked.
Star Shine arched an eyebrow. “It’s nothing that concerns you. Just suffice it to say I know more about them than they wanted me too. Enough to guarantee a very sound future.”
Thistleroot shook his head. “Well, you’ve just got everything figured out. We’re not going to get anything from you.”
“No, I don’t think you will,” Star Shine agreed.
“In fact, your future is so guaranteed, we should just let you go,” Thistleroot said, an exagerated look of defeat on his face.
“Sorry, what?”
“Well, you’re obviously going to be freed by your friends soon. There’s really no point in prolonging the inevitable. Imagine how much money the state would save by releasing you early.”
Star Shine rolled his eyes. “The sarcasm is a little overdone.”
“What sarcasm? I am completely serious. I can go get the key to your cuffs right now, if you want. We’ll even give you a few guards to keep you safe from any vigilantes that saw you in the paper and transfer a few million bits to your bank account as an apology for locking you away.”
The look on Star Shine’s face froze.
“I mean, as long as none of your allies find out and jump to the wrong conclusions. Queen Lirean will take her time and investigate the matter properly, right? I’d always heard she was a very even tempered queen.”
Star Shine finally managed a forced chuckle. “Make it seem like I turned traitor? Celestia wouldn’t. It’s no different than killing me herself.”
“Hey, nopony said anything about killing you,” Thistleroot said. “We’d just be letting you go. I mean, the princess can’t be held responsible for every idiot that gets himself into trouble by thinking he’s got everything figured out.”
“She wouldn’t,” Star Shine said.
“Let’s find out,” Thistleroot answered, turning and making his way to the end of the room. He pushed the door open slightly to find the princess and Starswirl standing outside. “Princess, can I borrow the keys to Star Shine’s cuffs so I can let him go?”
Star Shine rolled his eyes again. “Overactor.”
Thistleroot came back a moment later, a key in his mouth. He wordlessly began uncuffing Star Shine from the chair.
“I’m still not falling for it,” Star Shine said.
*****
“They have the best jelly filled donuts here,” Thistleroot said as he waved to Pony Joe. “And I’m pretty sure none of the waitresses are changelings in disguise.”
“Pretty sure?” Star Shine asked, a strong quiver in his voice.
“Yeah, like fifteen, maybe even twenty percent sure.”
*****
“They were using mind reading magic on the statue of Discord. In other news, I’ve never seen somepony so eager to go back to jail,” Thistleroot said. “I guess some ponies just really really hate pastries.”
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I think that's the best method to get to know what you wanted ever. It even beats torture.
Thistleroot is one of the best OCs ever.
Also, you referred to Starswirl as 'Starshine' twice.
*re-reads that last paragraph*
Have I told you I love Thistleroot? In a totally platonic, brother-to-brother sort of way. You believe me, right? Right?
Ha ha! I'm glad to see this back! It's taking like a month between updates, but if you keep on putting out awesome I don't mind.
Ha! Thistle proves resourceful as ever! He's the best.
Thistleroot,
I hereby award you the award for best negotiator of the century, and would like to offer you a business job with my brother, Rom. May the eternal banker have mercy on your soul.
-Quark, owner, operator, founder, Quark's
THAT is what Thistleroot can do. That was hilarious.
Thistleroot wins the best OC award. Given to him by me.
So. Worth. The. Wait.
Thistleroot was freaking hilarious. I don't know weither it was intentional or him just being a SA. But he was hilarious.
Ha, that was good.
(Also, what's with all the downvotes in the comments? Does someone really hate Thistleroot or something?)
2957482
eenope
I think you meant Starswirl here right?
Welp, prison is pretty safe.
Oh gosh, it's been so long since I've read last chapter so it's hard to remember what's going on.
It was obvious in previous chapters, but this one really nailed it: Thistleroot is bucking awesome.
2958036 Nope, there are two ponies with 'Star' in their name.
Starswirl the Now-Shaved. and Star Shine the double crossing traitor.
Shut up, Starswirl. Thistleroot's awesome.
I'm going to just echo the sentiments the rest of the comments are: Thistleroot has got to be the best character I've ever read from this site
I haven't even read the chapter yet- this is just to save time later=
On another hoof... I love this story!
I knew it would save time....
But this chapter is so good it deserved recognition. =
Ok, I think I figured out Thistleroot's Report Card at the end of University. Major in Botanmancy with another Major in Psychology