Don't Stop Believing
“I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts, there they are, all standing in a row. Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head,” Thistleroot sang. The choked growls of frustrated rage continued on the other side of the cell door.
“Not a Monty Ponython fan? Okay, how about Journey? Just a small town mare, livin’ in a lonely world. She took the midnight train going an-y-where! Just a city colt, born and raised in South Detrot. He took the midnight train going an-y-whe-er-ere!”
The guard’s face appeared between the bars of the door. “If you don’t stop that now, I swear to Celestia I’m going to—”
“DON’T! STOP! BELIEVE-ING! HOLD ON TO THAT FEELING!”
The guard let out a strangled hiss and began pulling out his keys.
“Oh, is this the part where you open the cell door to beat me up, but I manage to lock you in here and escape?” Thistleroot asked, bouncing from the cot to his hooves.
The guard hesitated, anger and common sense at war.
“It’s fine,” Thistleroot said. “You’re a big, strong earth pony, and I’m just a weak lil unicorn. I mean, it’s not like I can just dive past you, go about three feet, and get into the hall, and then toss you around effortlessly with magic. Really, three feet? It might as well be a mile.”
The guard took a deep breath and pulled the key away from the door. After another breath, he moved back to his chair.
“Hey,” Thistleroot started softly, picking up volume slowly until he was almost shouting, “I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my address, so write me maybe.”
“GRAHHH!”
“Uh, hey?” A voice called from down the hall. “Is everything okay down here? I heard screaming.”
Thistleroot leapt across his tiny cell and stuck his snout through the bars. He could barely see the light green stallion at the end of the hall.
“Get back upstairs,” the guard snapped, turning. “This area is off limits to crusaders.”
“Hey, Pal,” Thistleroot called. “Is that you?”
Pal had started turning, but paused when he heard his name.
The guard snapped a glare back at the cell door and started moving toward Pal. “Come on kid, back to the party.”
“Run! For the love of Celestia, run for your life!” Thistleroot shouted at the top of his lungs. Pal jumped in surprise as the guard turned back again, looking at Thistleroot in annoyed confusion. Thistleroot gave the guard a wink. “They’re going to lock you up! Run! Flee! Depart from this unholy place!”
The guard started down the hall again, raising a placating hoof. Pal hesitated a moment longer before turning and running back up the stairs. The guard was only a few seconds behind.
“Oh, I hope he makes it,” Thistleroot mumbled.
*****
“All in all, it was a productive night,” Crystal Ball said, lying near the fireplace of Star Shine’s study. “You were right, Pal knows plenty about everypony.”
“I still think it would be faster to pull the information out of his head,” Star Shine said from his desk.
“Because it worked so well with Scootaloo?” Crystal asked.
“Didn’t it? That part of the spell wasn’t the problem, it was covering our tracks. Just replace him with a changeling.”
“Which is exactly what I suggested doing with Scootaloo,” Crystal Ball said, rolling toward him and propping her chin on her hoof. “Instead we let her go. I even had to fight the princess, all to keep to Thorn’s convoluted plan.”
Star Shine shook his head. “It’ll all be worth it soon. Do you have enough information for now?”
Crystal nodded. “We should be able to replace another two or three ponies tonight. Our—”
A pony burst in through the study door, wheezing and out of breath. “Mister Star Shine,” he said between gasps. “One of the crusaders went down stairs. He saw the prisoner. I chased him all the way to the property’s edge, but I lost him.”
Star Shine fixed the guard with a glare, hooves resting flat on the desk.
“When?”
“Just a minute ago,” the guard said. “Everypony else had left. He heard the prisoner and came down to see what was causing all the noise.”
“What did he look like?”
“He was light green. A unicorn.”
“Sounds like Pal,” Crystal said, coming to her hooves. “He was at the foot of the stairs when I came up, I thought he’d be heading home. Looks like we get to expedite the process after all.”
“You take care of him,” Star Shine agreed. “I’ll take care of Thistleroot. If Palette Swap tells anypony what he saw, it’ll be too dangerous to keep him around.”
Crystal smiled as she pushed past the winded guard. “Be careful, it’s starting to sound like dear Rose is rubbing off on you."
*****
“Your dinner,” the guard said, shoving a tray under the door.
“Really?” Thistleroot asked, picking it up. “Aren’t you supposed to be starving me until I talk?” The guard didn’t answer, and Thistleroot took the tray back to his cot.
Even if that unicorn Rose had decided to keep him fed, the guard at least should have kept it to spite him. A quick examination of the tray put his confusion to rest. The soup was a mixture of different flowers and roots in a watery broth. Among the daisy and lily petals were a few dozen small, white petals.
Cicuta, he thought, Water Hemlock. A small genus of the Apiaceae Family. If you’re going to poison a botamancy major, don’t use the most deadly plant known to equine kind.
*****
Star Shine peeked into the cell. A dark lump lay motionless beside the cot.
“He started moaning about an hour after I gave him the food,” the guard said. “Went quiet about an hour after that.”
“Good. Open the door.” The guard obeyed and Star Shine stepped into the cell. As he drew closer, the dark lump quivered slightly. “Oh, are you still alive?”
Thistleroot mumbled something unintelligible.
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear that? These are your last words, boy, make them count.”
“Forgot... something...”
Star Shine leaned closer. “Oh? And what’s that.”
“Dinner tray to the face!” Thistleroot screamed, turning over and bringing the metal tray down on Star Shine’s head in a chopping motion. Star Shine collapsed, stars flashing before his eyes.
*****
Thistleroot charged up the stairs, heart pounding in his chest. He’d smashed the bowl in the guard's face, leaving him blinded by the deadly soup. Somepony was on the first floor, making their way to the stairs, so Thistleroot kept climbing. He finally reached the fourth and highest floor.
He ducked into a dark room and closed the door gently. He moved as quietly as he could, looking for any item to help him escape. After a minute he eased open the window and looked down. “Where’s a sarcastic pegasus when you need her?”
Another minute passed before several sets of hoofsteps started stomping down the halls just outside. Thistleroot held his breath, legs shivering slightly, until the door finally opened. Star Shine walked in and lit the candles with a quick spell.
“Don’t come any closer!” Thistleroot screamed in a hysterical voice. “I’ll jump! I swear to Celestia I’ll jump!”
Star Shine flinched at the sudden noise. Thistleroot was hanging out of the window, holding onto the sill with only his front legs. “Don’t come any closer! I’m a madpony, I’ll do it!”
“Now, take it easy,” Star Shine said, taking a cautious step back and holding up one of his hooves. “Don’t do anything you’ll regret.”
“What would you know about regret?” Thistleroot screamed, voice threatening to crack as froth formed at the corner of his mouth. “You and your big fancy house? I live in a tiny apartment with a broken door! Why should I even go on? What do I have to live for?”
“Now, don’t be ridiculous. I’m sure you have plenty to...” Star Shine blinked, putting his hoof back down. “What they hay am I doing?”
“Well,” Thistleroot said, all traces of hysteria gone, “to be fair, I hit you pretty hard. You probably have a concussion or something. Confused or dizzy at all?”
“What did you hope to accomplish from all of this?”
“Buying time mostly. I figure the cavalry will be here any second now.” Thistleroot looked over his shoulder at the darkening sky. “Yup, any second.”
“I doubt it, Mr. Thistleroot. I doubt your friend Pal made it two blocks before she caught up to him,” Star Shine said flatly.
“She?”
“You’d rather not know.”
“Oh. Well, eheh. You know, a fall from this height probably won’t kill me.”
“Maybe not, but it’ll make the job that much easier.”
“Well, yeah, but you don’t want to get your hooves dirty at all, do you? That’s why you had somepony try to poison me.”
Star Shine sighed softly. “No, I’d rather not do this kind of work on my own. Honestly, I’d rather throw you to the changelings.”
“Great,” Thistleroot said, voice higher than he’d have liked. “Why don’t you go get them. I’ll just wait here. You know, hanging out.”
“I’m sorry, but this ends here.” Star Shine’s horn began to glow and a silver light appeared between Thistleroot and the window sill. With a sudden jerk, his hoofs were pulled away. His stomach flipped as he fell.
Thistleroot’s horn flared up. A blue aura surrounded him, wavering and threatening to give out. The ground rushed silently toward him and he pushed more energy into the spell.
Thud!
Thistleroot groaned, rolling onto his side and cradled his front leg. His entire body throbbed from the impact, but nothing felt broken. “Well,” he muttered to himself, wincing as his head throbbed, “it wasn’t a daring rescue, but I’ll take what I can get.” He took a deep breath and called, “Ahh, my legs! Oh, the pain! The agony!”
Taking another breath, he pushed himself up and started to run.
He had only a moments warning. He heard the beating of wings and a sharp intake of breath. Using his quick wits and quicker reflexes, he kept running in a straight line. The pegasus landed on top of him, sending him into a roll. He popped back up, teeth barred as his sore joints popped, and charged off to the side.
He’d caught a glimpse of his attacker and recognized him as Star Shine’s assistant. Silver Shield, if he remembered correctly.
Silver Shield dived again, but Thistleroot managed to rear up and keep from running into the pegasus. He turned again, leaving the path for the safety of the trees. He felt more than heard Silver Shield fall in behind him, waiting for the perfect moment to attack. Thistleroot knew he could only run a little more. He had to shake the pegasus quickly.
Thistleroot changed his course slightly, put on a burst of speed, and ran directly into a tree. His head came up as his hooves slammed into the rough bark. The pegasus let out a surprised grunt, pulling up at the last second. A gust washed over Thistleroot as the pegasus barely managed to keep from flying into him.
Thistleroot’s horn flared up as he touched it to the tree. The branches creaked and shook wildly as though caught in a gale.
“What the...?” A voice asked behind and above him. He looked back to see Silver Shield being pulled higher into the tangle of branches.
Minutes later, Thistleroot stepped out into the street. A line of ponies waited, standing in ranks and wearing royal guard armor. Princess Celestia herself stood at the front of the group. Beside her were Princess Twilight and Pal.
“You guys are late.”
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Monty Ponython. Detrot. I am so sorry.
1984342
And the song wasn't even original to Monty Python, either:
[youtube=nf670orHKcA]
GET SOME!!!!!!
Oook your oc just went to the top of my list.
Cheers for Thistleroot and may he not end up as a sacrifice for the drama Llama ending.
Still loving thistle. And would Pony Python have been any better? Terrible horse puns are a show mechanic, no share of the blame for you to shoulder. Just keep telling yourself that...
No kidding, right? I mean use some chemical or chop it all fine so it's identifiable, you're really not too sharp using ANY form of botanical poison on a botony expert.
Every chapter, I just keep loving Thistleroot
I JUST MET YOU
IS THIS CRAZY..... Thistleroot is quickly becoming my favorite character ever. He's like some weird mix of macGiver and roger rabbit.
I JUST MET YOU
IS THIS CRAZY..... Thistleroot is quickly becoming my favorite character ever. He's like some weird mix of macGiver and roger rabbit.
WooHOO! Go Thistleroot!
That was a freaking fantastic escape sequence. Awesome start to my day.
Thistleroot is a rock star!
Thistleroot! Why you so awesome!?
Knowing how things have been going so far, those probably are all changelings he just ran into.
Thistleroot is clearly amazing. He cannot be stopped.
God I love your OC
Thistleroot is best pony
no seriously!!
Thistleroot...is awesome. Seriously, he's definitely my favourite character of this series.
thistlroot: gets captured by a secret orginization that's going to kill him, his escape plan? Annoy the guard.
Thistleroot is obviously best Oc, even better than yours random egotistical person per son reading this comment!
Yeah, those are all changelings. Why would they be there without Scootaloo, AB and Starswirl if they weren't?
2018124
Possibly because Celestia wouldn't want Scootaloo and Applebloom to be in danger, and because Thistleroot doesn't know Starswirl, so in 3rd person limited to his PoV, there wouldn't be a reason to point him out among the crowd? Or maybe it is changelings, and Thistleroot is in major trouble. Or maybe it's none of the above. I'm a wild card like, that, unpredictable
“Dinner tray to the face!”
1985141
A rock star from Mares?
THISTLEROOT ROCKS! FIRST PART MADE ME LAUGH! CALLME MAYBE LOL
'DINNER TRAY TO THE FACE!'
Oh, Thistleroot! You're so awesome!
Needs end " marks.
________________
5383599
Hellz yes.
That they are lol.