Derpy is a carefree soul. A simple feather in the wind. It does not matter that her co-workers at the post office call her "freak". She takes it in oblivious stride. She works hard and has fun doing it. Her daughter, Dinky Doo, is the center of her life and the love of her life since her husband left her. Derpy leads the saddest life in Equestria, but she doesn't know it. She is blindly blissful. Until tragedy strikes on the workplace. The doctors who evaluate her say that her incident is a grim foreshadowing of what is to come. The doctors give her a number. Five days to live. With this running in her expiring mind, she goes on a quest to deliver a final letter to a very special somepony in her life that she misses dearly before she passes away. Who could it be?
And what's inside the letter?
this is awesome. it needs moar views.
IHOP
Problem, here. Derpy Hooves and Ditzy Doo are the same mare. Derpy is just name only here close friends are allowed to say, however someponies call her Derpy to be mean.
"Dinky Doo" is Derpy/Ditzy's daughter's real name, and Dinky is a unicorn, unlike her pegasus mother.
Just clearin' that up.
Sorry to be a jackflank
@wubstep pony: Noted.
@Joy Stick: thank you for bringing that up! I was battling on whether she was Ditzy Doo or Dinky Doo. I guess I chose wrong!
i cried for the first time in my history on fimfiction i cried you have made an astounding goal and i hope you appreciate it because not even real life and movies make me cry tears of pure sadness
- Neko Rock
This is an incredible premise. I only got so far, however. Marked the rest in read later. I really hope that this doesn't end up becoming like so many other amazing stories that just gets drowned beneath swirling torrents of clopfics and HiE stories.
IHOP, if you want. You don't have to, though.
My comment is a combination of the two comments above me. It bothered the flank out of me that you kept referring to Dinky as Ditzy, but I honestly did cry at the end, too. So aside from nomenclature issues, you have my seal of approval. Well done.
That was a great story IMO.
IHOP around btw
1168673
Yes, yes. I should edit the name so it is correct. Thank you for the review!
Ihop alot my friend...infact, i believe i hop to and from your house very often! this story...made me cry as well. you are an amazing writer and i cant wait to hear more!
1189582
Thank you!
Alright, so I never got to reading this even though I put it in "read later." But I did, and I was absolutely astounded. Though I have the "Dinky/Ditzy Unicorn/pegasus" problem like two of the three commenters above me, but I think that having Dinky be a pegasus is necessary and a well-used creative liberty. In my opinion, this story is under-appreciated. You owe it to yourself and everyone else on this site to reread this, correct the minor grammatical issues that pop up from time and fix Dinky's name, and then submit this to EqD, and have it shine in the spotlight it truly deserves.
I have liked, favorited and watched you and the story. You have earned a rank of five Big Macintoshes, three Sweetie Belles, four Pinkies and eight Derpies. You have earned them.
1197477
And a Twilight in a pear tree~!
Thank you. I'm new to all this and this is the warmest welcome I have ever received. I have fixed the errors, but the original still remains. So, could somepony help a Net N00b out...
1198923 I would like to offer my help to you. Send me a PM with what you need help with and I can see what/if I can help you out.
Cheers!
FIXED EVERYTHING FINALLY
1197477>>1168678>>1189582>>1152968
1254930
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES
1254930
well done. have a Derpy.
It was very nice, though it took me a while to get time to finish it. It was worth it, though, to say the least. The problems Derpy faces are really awful and make me very sympathetic. Behind that goofy smile and innocent face could very much lie a pony with deep emotional concern and a past that is complicated and hard. Yet she pulls through, even if it isn't the greatest system. She'd rather face death the hard way rather than peacefully drift to sleep. Though I understand her fear of needles (I am the same way), whatever makes it easier to escape the bitter world. I want to punch her "friends" in the faces, yet I also wish Derpy would defend herself, yet that's what's so amazing about her. She never understands what ponies really think of her, and she doesn't care one bit. Overall, your characterization for Derpy Hooves is amazing and spectacular, really bringing life to this story.
Overall, it was pretty good. I liked it. There were some slightly bothersome grammatical issues, however:
Can you see how messy this looks? Everything is crushed into one paragraph, and at some points, one may have trouble figuring out who is talking. To fix this, every time a character is done talking, and another one begins as well, you add in space for the paragraph to breath. Here's how it WOULD look:
Much cleaner if you ask me, and considering how this is the same for many other paragraphs, I would keep this in mind. Otherwise, a pleasant yet depressing read, considering how Derpy is one of the most innocent ponies you'll ever meet, and she doesn't deserve to die in such pain. Nonetheless, very good. Have a mustache.
Your story was an excellent read, and quite sad, even if I didn't cry (don't worry; I didn't cry whilst reading "My Little Dashie," so that's the fact I might be part robot or something). Well, you don't have to cry to find something depressing. This does deserve more praise, though, because it was good. Anyway, I hope to see more works from you later on.
IHOP, I suppose, but only add me as a favorite author if you want to by checking my one story first and see if I'm worth of being added. Just seems fairer to me.
I just cried and cried... good job!
1733867
Thank you for the read!