• Published 14th Jun 2020
  • 1,933 Views, 143 Comments

What you Need - Hemlock conium

Sometimes what you need isn't obvious, or easy.

  • ...

Chapter 4: One question and zero answers.

Here I lay, playing another game of twenty questions, except it was the same question of 'what happened' every time. Seemingly no matter how much I tell my story, no one will believe it. Guess I shouldn't have been surprised though. Though I still couldn't tell if it was because I was a filly, it was too absurd a story, a mix of both or something else but it was annoying regardless.

This time was no different. New shmuck, same question every time. I should have guessed from the moment he walked in this was going to be a long, pointless, circular interrogation. Despite these low expectations however, he still somehow managed to surpass those! It was like talking to a brick wall. I'd answer and he'd just ask the same exact thing in the exact way again! At least other ponies had a courtesy of rephrasing or asking if I was “sure.” This guy though just asked “what happened” on loop ad nauseum.

Isn't insanity suppose to be doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result? If that's the case I'm not sure who the insane one here is anymore. The ponies asking the same question or me giving the same answer?

In either case this new doctor left me wanting to scream. Scratch that, wanting to cuss him out till he buggered off is a more apt description. Maybe then these ponies would finally get the message this tedious game of twenty questions was dumb. My internal fit was simmered somewhat when I heard the first new question in what felt like forever.

"What's wrong Phoenix?" His right brow made a slight arc as if he didn't already know.
Oh I don't know, only the fact you're somehow the densest person I know! I retorted in my mind as I let out a long sigh. In all fairness, I guess I couldn't truly blame him; he was just trying to do his job. Not that left me any less frustrated, but it at least left my frustration with my situation and that damn benefactor rather than this hapless sap. Though he could at least try and spice up his questions a bit, this was mind numbing.

"I keep telling you I am not a filly. I'm not even a pony." I explained in the nicest tone I could muster. Which admittedly still carried an aura of spite to it. The doctor, to his credit, kept calm; simply adjusting his dopy fedora as he looked down at his clipboard.

"Indeed you have. Twenty seven times in fact." He confirmed.

"Then why-" I began, only to be stopped by a wave of his hoof.

"Because what you're proposing is simply impossible. "

"Well clearly it's not, because it's what happened!" I insisted; stomping my hoof into the bedside for emphasis.

"You're a smart filly Phoenix. So I won't beat around the bush. You clearly have repressed emotions that you're avoiding, or coping with, by living a delusion." He explained nonchalantly. I’m not sure how large pony eyes could widen, but I'm sure mine reached that length. Here I thought my proposition was absurd, but this, this was something else! He cant be serious can here?! I panicked.

"You're not a unicorn, or whatever the scientist equivalent of magic is," I irritably pointed out, "So how can you be so sure?"

"I am a psychologist though. I did also spend several years as a student at the Cloudsdale Institute for Higher Learning," he countered, " I learned from the best pegasus, each at the top of their fields. So I can assure you Phoenix nothing, and I mean nothing, would verify your situation."

"Then get some pony from Celestia's school for gifted unicorns! Have them confirm I'm crazy!" I insisted. To my surprise however, the doctor simply shook his head; setting down his clipboard with a disappointed sigh.

"Lets review the facts then. So you can see where I’m coming from Phoenix. You claim magic didn't exist in your world, at least as far as you knew. That's simply impossible however, as the magic needed to cast such a spell would mean, magic would have to be at least as abundant as it is here in Equestria. Secondly, assuming what you say is true we have zero proof, absolutely none. Finally, and most damning of all, your claim you just made. If you truly were from a 'parallel universe' that is unlike Equestria. Then you should have no knowledge of such an institute like Celestia’s school for gifted unicorns." He pointed out. His words were like rocks, each one piled on my heart until it sunk to the bottom of my chest. The first two I could at least work to a reasonable solution. But the last one was different. I couldn't just tell them they were a show where I was from, could I? Assuming they even believe me, that could cause all number of problems! If I didn't tell the truth though, then I had nothing. My mind raced to find an answer, any answer. All it found were lies to hopefully dance around this fact however. I couldn’t bring myself to explain their whole life was a show.

" One of the nurses mentioned it when I explained my situation!" I lied but he only shook his head once more, causing more weight to pile on my poor heart.

"No Phoenix they didn't. I talked with nurse Pink Heart and she recounted the story you told her. You mentioned it there too," Dr. Mirage explained with a disheartened sigh, "So I'll ask one more time Phoenix. Who are you and what happened?" The words tied knots in my stomach. I didn't exactly like any of my options; and each one left me just as frustrated as the last.

"So you think I'm crazy too." Was the only thing I could force myself to say as pitiful as it was.

"No Phoenix I don't," He replied to my surprise, " I think you're a confused and lost filly who just needs a helping hoof. "
Guess I should have expected that line….He probably thinks my mom abused me while my dad was working or something… I thought to myself as I let out a sigh of defeat. He looked at me for a long moment before his thoughts were inputted by a knock at the door.

"If it's the same with you Phoenix I need to step out and talk with the F.P.A. I'll be back soon however."

"Yea sure." I replied; lowering my head. I felt awful. It felt like a gut punch; knocking any wind I had out of my sails. It was a cruel twist of fate really. A show that preaches telling the truth, yet the truth here dammed me. It was my silent executioner; blade hung just above my neck. Simply waiting on my word to finish me off. I should have, or I guess should at this point, tell it to finish me off, but the possible consequences of such a reveal stopped me. At best they didn't believe me, which just left me in the same position making it pointless. The worse case scenario however, would see Equestria in a mass existential panic. Even if amongst the panic it did get me home, I couldn't bring my self to do this. Not to a world that had brought me so much happiness back on Earth. It just wouldn't be fair to them.

As the seconds ticked by I felt tears start to well up in my eyes; my vision swiftly becoming a blur of tears, anger and frustration. At first it was just my eyes, but soon it spread to the rest of my face. All these water works just because my one shot home ruined because I made a miscalculation. If I just waited to mention the school for gifted unicorns maybe I could have gone home. That realization stung far worse than the tears ever could. I couldn't recall a time I’d ever felt this way. Normally I could just force myself back up and through my problems, but here I couldn’t. I felt helpless, like the helpless filly they all saw me as, and I hated it.

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