Chapter 16: A heart of silver
At some point I must have finally ended up back in my dorms, because the next thing I knew I was muzzle deep in the soft and comforting embrace of a bed. My body softly outstretched to take in the bed’s soothing feel. It’s pliable surface pulled me deep into its grasp like the waves that would come after it and just like those waves I’d happily give into its tugs so that I could leave here into an ocean of infinity. A voyage in which I could leave and never return to shore. My last sight was that of the noon sun creeping its warm rays into my dorm, before the blackness consumed it, tucking it away from my sight.
When my vision finally returned I was in a vast ocean of clouds, not unsimilar Cloudsdale. Though unlike Cloudsdale, it was devoid of any life or structures. It was an endless expanse of grey clouds, heavy with the burden of rain; awaiting to release their woes upon the haggard ground below. Though it was a release that would never come it seemed. For some reason or another they kept their burdened waters stored inside, afraid to share them with the world. Or maybe rather, unwilling might have been more apt. For whatever reason I felt a strange kinship with the cloud layer beneath my hooves. As if our very fates were interchangeable. Destined to obey the whims of the winds of fate. A weary smile crossed my muzzle at this odd sensation as I felt my hooves idly rub the clouds as if to tell them it was okay.
In contrast to the clouds below me was the alien sky above. It was a crystalline blue sky, devoid of worry and illuminated by five bright stars. The stars shined so brightly that it almost hurt to look at. Yet their warmth stretched down like open arms offering to take me in. Despite their attempts however, the clouds below me were like magnets. No, rather like my body itself was the magnet. Maybe that's why I felt kinship with them. When I tried to move towards the light, the weight of the clouds was my own, weighing me down far too much to move. So I gave up and let myself intermingle with the grey mass at my feet.
It was soon after that a new tide of foreign clouds rolled in above my current layer; blotting out the once bright stars. These new clouds radiated with a different feeling than the ones at my hooves however. An energy I couldn't quite find words to describe. Malice? Malevolence? But those words also didn't quite work. They captured the negativity the new clouds brought with them, but they weren't right. As they also carried with it a feeling of familiarity with them, not unlike one might have for a lifelong friend. I’m aware of the somewhat contrasting maybe even paradoxical nature of this description but these feelings are what they struck me with.
My thoughts would not go much further however, as with the new clouds came a powerful storm of wind. The gust of wind caused my body skid against the ground as I briefly, and foolishly, attempted to stay in place. That attempt would ultimately be fruitless however, as I was swiftly quashed by a wave of heavy rain that came from the new clouds. The droplets struck like a rogue wave, knocking me off balance and onto my back. Each one was a bullet in an endless hail of gunfire, suppressing any attempt to break free from the new brewing storm.
The hail of droplets should have been freezing, and yet I felt nothing, instead the only thing I felt was the soft comforting embrace of the somber clouds below. Their silk like fibers gently began coiling around me, like they had down with my hooves prior, holding me in place from the winds. Until finally I was consumed by them, stuck and suffocating in their embrace. I relaxed as the fibers grip tightened around me, forcing the rest of my air out of my lungs. I should have panicked or fought back, but all I did was relax until-
I blinked groggily as I opened my eyes as the rays of sunlight aimed directly for my eyes; dragging me out of my stupor.
“Almost,” I let out a sigh as the familiar tug of tiredness lost its appeal, forcing me to sit and remain awake. For several long moments I sat, contemplating if it was even worth arising out of my bed.
Later that next month Carapace found herself exhausted out in the open air. Her wings ached to rest as her mind begged her to quit, and she wanted too.
It's all you ever wanted to do. she thought with a sigh before looking up to watch her two flying partners. She watched in dismay as she struggled to keep up with Red Ribbon and Zeal. The duo were fast, even by pegasus standards. To them she must have been a snail, hardly even a challenge in their current race. Yet all they insisted she join them in their weekly races. She wasn’t sure why they did, but they did. In recent weeks she'd extended the invitation to Phoenix hoping to have some creature that was, hopefully, on her level. Though the distant mare had expressed no interest in joining the trio, no matter how many times she offered at breakfasts, lunches or dinners. Every time she asked, the mare was more reluctant than the last.
It didn’t seem to matter what she tried, the filly had no interest. Did I do something wrong? she pondered, the possibility hitting her like a gut punch. She felt the familiar urge to give up start to set in. She had as much chance to help the filly as she did winning this race.
“You know!” Zeal began, snapping carapace out of her stupor, “The longer you hover their thinking, the further you’re going to fall behind slow poke!” Then like that he bolted off again, leaving her alone. Carapace gently rose her right foreleg to her left; rubbing it nervously. Zeal was right of course. Worrying so much was slowing her down and yet all the same, she couldn't stop it. What point was there for her to try when there was, at least as far as she could see, no hope in winning? But just as she went to land on a nearby cloud she got a gentle shove behind.
“Come on. Your wings will never get better if you don't push yourself. Plus you can probably beat me today, I didn't get much sleep,” Ribbon explained as she continued to push Carapace on.
“I don’t know about that. You two are just so quick that I-”
“NONSENSE! You’ll never know unless you try, and I’m telling you, YOU CAN, beat me! You just need to, go and stop thinking you cant!” Ribbon grunted as she gave one last forceful shove, pushing Carapace forward by a dozen feet. Carapace let out a nervous smile as Ribbon egged her on. Ribbon was giving it her all for both herself and her to see her finish. She couldn’t stop her.
“O-okay. This time for sure.” She stammered, as her confidence and energy slowly began to resurge with Ribbons help.
“There we go! Now move it or I'm going to catch up!” The two blitzed for the end, where Zeal was waiting. Carapace kept the lead as her vision swam and spun, while Ribbon trailed close at her side, happy to take last if it meant seeing Carapace smile again. The bug had a habit of digging herself a hole, and occasionally needed a nudge in the right direction to get out and Ribbon was more than happy to be that nudge. It was a shameful habit given how much Carapace tried her best at things, even if it didn't always work out or she was scared. Thought that was the reason Ribbon liked her.
As the two broke past the finish line Carapace crashed into a cloud exhausted while Ribbon made a controlled landing at her brother's side.
“Took you two slowpokes long enough.”
“We got here, and more importantly Carapace came in second,” Ribbon said with a wide grin
“And you came in dead last- OW!” Zeal cried as Ribbon slugged him in the shoulder.
“That's it, next time I'm going to make you beg me to stop with how bad I beat you,” Zeal continued with a giggle.
“We'll see.”
“So... What do you think is on Carapace’s mind this time?” After sitting a moment in silence, the duo answered in unison,
“Phoenix…. Jinx! Double Jinx! Triple-” they sang in giggle filled unison.
“No I differently won that one,” Zeal argued mid way through.
“In your dreams. But back onto the point at hoof…”
“Yeah, yeah, you’re just trying to change the subject because you know, you lost. But I see your point. What's she so worked up about Phoenix anyway?”
“I don’t know. Why don’t you go ask?”
“Was that sarcasm? I feel like that sarcasm.”
“ME? Sarcastic? never!” Ribbon snickered a bit as her brother rolled his eyes.
“Well do you mind filling me in then?”
“Not until you admit I’m faster.”
“But that would be a lie, and Virulent Lesson says lying is bad.” Ribbon’s snicker slowly morphed into a scowl as her brother displayed his teeth in amusement. She debated protesting the sentiment for a moment, but ultimately decided it wasn’t worth her time.
“She wants Phoenix to feel better.”
“OKAY! I get that, but explain to me why.”
“Ugh. Are you just hopeless or is it a stallion thing?” Zeal seemed to ponder the statement for a long few moments causing Ribbon to jerk back in surprise. She wasn't use to her brother actually thinking on something, seeing as how impulsive he was. Maybe he-
“Nope I’m pretty sure it's just a mare being a mare thing again,” Zeal finally said, interrupting Ribbon’s own thought process. Ribbon threw her head back in frustration, One day… One day she thought.
“It's not that hard! Gha! you must be the most oblivious stallion in all of Equestria!” Though, before the two’s conversations could continue they were interrupted by the changeling in question.
“Thanks again guys, but I think… I think I’m going to head back to my room to recover.” Then before the two had time to reply, the bug turned tail and left.
“Is she in one of her moods again? Is that what I’m missing?”
“She is but that's not it you dolt.”
“That’s no way to talk to your brother. What would Father think?” Though as the words left his mouth, he shrieked back in pain as if he'd just bit down on an electric wire. The word left a bad taste in his mouth and a terrible feeling in both of their stomachs.
“Probably about how he could leave and get another set of booze.” Ribbon replied casually, trying to quickly discard the pain in the words. For a moment nothing seemed to happen until Zeal let out a somber, dry chuckle. Ribbon soon followed suit soon after as the two shared a sincere smile of familial comfort.
“Yea, probably.” Zeal agreed as his brief giggle faded off into a repressed sigh. For a long moment there after the pair sat, in silence, staring at the ground before Ribbon wrapped her brother in a winged hug.
“I’ll see you at dinner. I need to do something.”
“I- uh. Okay, see ya later.”
Ribbon released her hug before heading inside to follow Carapace. It took Ribbon several moments to catch up to Carapace, but soon enough she caught her just outside their dorm area.
“Hey! Carapace.” Carapace froze up momentarily before slowly turning to face the approaching pegasus. No words were shared as the two stared at one another for a long second, but it was long enough that the two knew what was on the other's mind.
“Listen, thank you Ribbon, but I really don't want to talk about it right now. I just need time to get my thoughts sorted,” Carapace argued before Ribbon could get a word in.
“Then don’t talk, just listen. It's not your fault.”
“But all I do is sit there and watch. You don’t get it. You're not the one that has to see what that filly is going through every time you see her. She’s in a dark place, a really dark place, and all I can do is watch. No matter what I do it doesn't get better, because I just can't...” Carapace’s words got choked up as she struggled to even speak now. Her guilt was a noose around her neck, pulling and tugging her breath out of her.
“I know, none of us can see, eer smell? Taste? Whatever! None of us can experience emotions like you can. But that doesn't change the fact that this isn’t your fault.”
“You don't get it! Everything I try she just gets frustrated and her emotions just become worse!” Ribbon blinked in surprise at Carapace’s sudden outburst. she'd never seen Carapace angry about something. Typically the bug was far too reserved to be so explosive about her feelings. Though as the surprise wore off Ribbon smiled and shook her head, moving past Carapace’s melancholy.
“It’s not all about you, you know.”
“I- I... What?” Carapace asked, sounding devastated. Had she really come off as that selfish? She thought to herself
“There's a WE, here. Truthfully, we could be doing more. So that failure is on all of us.”
“I don’t get what you mean.”
“You're our friend Carapace. So if this is important to you, it should be important to all of us and truthfully, I can’t say it has been. In that regard we’ve let you both down.” Carapace began to speak up but was hushed by the wine colored mare, “So, let us carry some of that guilt for you, please?” Carapace wanted to object, but quickly realized the irony of such a sentiment. A nervous but thankful smile slowly broke across her muzzle as she looked up to Ribbon.
“Thank you.” Carapace mouthed
“What are friends for? Starting tomorrow this is a group project!” Ribbon declared with a wide grin. With that the two quickly got to work, rounding up the rest of their group to formulate a new plan forward.
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But isn't he an adult in the cover art?
10687358
No he is a filly.
Awww
10687600
Aww what?
10687608
The close-as-familly group working to help Phoenix
nice perstepctive here. did even think it could effect the changeling that much
Oh yeah...
He’s a changeling so of course he’s going to hell her since they can eat emotion?