• Member Since 7th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday



Short stories set in the Hassenfeld Pony universe.

Inspired by reading Hassenfeld Pony Anthology, which was itself inspired by threads on /mlp/.

For those who have no idea what this is.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 27 )

Why would you do this to me? Programmed to be an affection source, losing everything, and trying to start over, only to be snuffed out by an unfeeling corporation that wants to quell anything that could impact their bottom line... poor Ponka. * Adds to Tracking anyway *

Still, I'm having trouble suspending my disbelief for the whole Hassenfeld premise. No way our gene editing tech is up for this in five years' time. Especially not run by Hasbro. They can barely manage to keep a card game balanced, let alone the instincts of a new species.

Yeah, it requires some pretty heavy duty cables to suspend that disbelief. Particularly the "we bioengineered telekinetic ability" part. Physics major me over here is like "Wait, no. What? NO!"

Please carefully read the following instructions before opening the cryo-box containing your pony:

I feel personally targeted.


As I've said, this probably wouldn't happen. The moment it became clear that any creation of ours, anthro, pony, fiddler crab morph with optional bowling ball tits, was sapient, they'd be given full human rights as such.

The problem though would be their propagation. As it stands with Hassenfeld, ponies require a prohibitive amount of finances and are a toy solely for the wealthy. But that's probably changing since some wacky soul in R&D is hard at work one handed working his beaker furthering dickology

I am not dark enought to write this in one go.... but an idea is forging in my mind. About a hassenfeld pony who happens to be bought by a horrible criminal, say a serial killer, or a torturer, or a profesional assassin. He wouldn't be mean towards the pony (that would be against Hasbro Biotech's contract and produce the retrieval of the pony). So... how would she respond? Would she ignore what her owner is actually doing, like it never happened, it was simply a game? Would she actually join her owner in the task ahead? Would she betray her owner, against her genetic imprinting?

I mean, some groups of actual people in various locations around the world are still having trouble being treated with dignity and equality. That's the one part of this premise that's actually believable to me, unfortunately.

Well, these sort of things would more then likely happened in westernized hyper tech places like Japan, all that white privilege, you know:trollestia:

In all seriousness though that line of thinking is, thankfully, being phased from most developed and developing nations. Will we have complete equalibreum or the much coveted equality? No. And I'm starting to thing such a thing would be horrendous even if it could be implemented. But equal opportunity and equal rights is easily doable for most.

That's one of the things that instantly drew me into the premise. The implications of a society apparently being totally okay with this idea. How the hell this concept made it past drunken white board scrawling and all the way into production without someone in a board meeting raising their hand to ask "what the fuck?" or slowly back out of the room from the obvious psychopath making the pitch.

"Well I guess this bioengineered pets idea has some promise. As long as we don't accidentally make them too intelligent or anything. That could get uncomfortable."

"Oh no, we're intentionally making them sapient. Human level intelligence, capable of speech, everything."


And I can't help but wonder if the public was really universally okay with this at launch or had to be brought round to it. Were there mass protests from sane people, swiftly and brutally crushed by police and national guard and derided by cable news as violent anti-business extremists? Are we deep enough into corporate dystopia that it's just private security forces instead of public police, or is so much of the government in their pocket that that's a distinction without a difference? Are there underground groups trying to firebomb the Hassenfeld production facilities, considered deranged terrorists by 99% of the population?

The absurdity of the setting sparked so many questions I had to start writing the same day.

I imagine that they... ommited, shall we say, certain facts of their existence from the public, then when they were in production said "Well, if you're all so gung ho about, we could just euthanize them..."

Really though, this is something Cave s. Jonson stuff

Yeah, I'm imagining someone tearing a Hasbro logo off the wall to reveal the Aperature Science logo underneath.

Hassenfeld Ponies are just the successor to the Companion Cube.

Oof... my feels. I would have taken her home the moment I knew what was coming if I was a member of the staff.

There is literally nothing wrong with owning a slave-pony. Muhammad enslaved his enemies in conquest, and the Qur'an says to look to the life of Muhammad for guidance. It's why slavery exists to this day among some Islamist groups that revived it as morally righteous.

If you've got time to kill, and want to read about ponies in a corporate dystopia, the below story is insanely good. In this case, they're toy robots that eventually became self-aware, though that element is but one of many hooks. Unwhole Hole is one of the most underrated authors in the fandom, honestly.

[Adult story embed hidden]

Just because I expected stuff like this would occur in this AU doesn't make actually reading about it any easier. 😬

If there WAS suc ha distress signal, the Fluttershy model would be the one to not make it work

Damnit, I do not need this kinda of negativity in my life! So why am I adding tracking to this story? Argh, I'm so weak.

Write more.

Great two chapters so for. What's next? Pony activists? A full on Planet of the Ponies uprising?

Great job Lumiere. Now your nothing more then a common terrorist.

It's interesting, these ponies aren't like your typical oppressed race/class. Most of the time, such groups have the will to resist, but not the means. IE: African American slaves, when they sadly existed, typically did not have, and could not obtain, firearms. But these ponies are the opposite. They all have some combination of flight, super strength, and magic, which, as shown here, can make fighting back incredibly easy. But at the same time, they're typically conditioned with a deep love to never question the current arrangement of ponies as property.

Well, she'd say revolutionary, but I guess you could say terrorist fits better as she's not seeking to completely replace the current government so much as bring them to the negotiating table.

Doubt she'd take it as the intended insult either way, though.

Welp, this went from “ah, I hate to see them as slaves and I would treat them nicely and never buy one” to “Oh shit, we need to call the XCOM” very quickly.

I think this kind of ressistance, specially the kind that causes casualties, would bring too much attention from the authorities. They can label them as terrorists now, and I’m afraid I would agree.

Can't really call them extraterrestrials. They're definitely born and bred on Earth and are as much earthlings as anyone else.

Revolutions are outside the law by their very nature, and terrorist is just a label applied to anyone fighting the current regime in power. Nelson Mandela was a terrorist. It definitely beats being a literal slave.

And I can't help but mention that XCOM 2 was entirely about fighting an insurgency as a global terrorist organization.

I’m not trying to label them explicitly as ‘aliens’, just that the set of skills and habilities they have make me go “oh shit” in the same way the xcom aliens do. And I agree they might not be technically, absolutely and by the very definition ‘terrorists’, but since they don’t hesitate to kill innocent people, they would have cero sympathy from my part. And the government wouldn’t hesitate to label them as such.


The actual definition of "terrorist" is pretty broad. And what the government would apply that label to is pretty irrelevant, as that would get thrown on pretty much anything opposing them. I guess a lot does depend on how broad and flexible your definition of "innocent" is. Your revolution isn't gonna go very far if you think police are somehow innocent bystanders or noncombatants. Good luck opposing the current regime without coming into conflict with its first line of defense (like organizing a slave revolt while claiming the professional runaway slave catchers are uninvolved parties just trying to do their job). One man's terrorist is another man's heroic freedom fighter and all that.

I'm suddenly reminded of my favorite character from Deep Space 9, Major Kira, who unashamedly describes her former job during the recently ended occupation as "terrorist". No bothering to mince words about it. Resistance fighter, terrorist, soldier of the Bajoran liberation, it's all the exact same thing. Asymmetrical warfare against an occupying force. Like, yeah we mostly bombed shit. A lot of Cardassians and the Bajorans who willingly worked with them too, because fuck collaborators. And we tried to minimize civilian casualties where possible (a lot more than the other side did) but sometimes when you bomb the mansion of the commandant in charge of the local concentration camp, you end up catching some of his kitchen staff and their family who are just trying to keep their heads down. Would we prefer to hit our target with zero collateral damage? Of course, but you don't always get that choice when fighting an insurgency, and the alternative of rolling over for the enslavement and ethnic cleansing isn't an option. And ultimately, there's plenty of blame to lay on the side dragging civilian workers into a war zone (and some for said workers depending on how much choice they actually had in taking the job) so they can service the people running a brutal occupation of a planet that had never done anything to them, solely in the name of imperialist conquest. They always have the option to just...stop.

Not exact words, but that's the general subtext whenever they occasionally touched on her past. I kept waiting for it, but to my pleasant surprise, the show never hamfistedly tried to draw an equivalence between the violence of oppressors, and the violence of those resisting oppression. No Starfleet folks condescendingly trying to lecture them on how they should have fought their own war for independence. No "if your side ever accidentally caused a single civilian casualty, you automatically forfeited the moral high ground no mater how many people died in the other side's concentration camps. The violence was never glorified. She always described her work in the resistance as dirty and complicated and often unpleasant, but absolutely necessary. She wasn't proud of everything they had to do, but didn't for a second regret joining the cause. All in all, way more nuance on the subject than I would have expected from the 90's.

I’m not talking about morals. This setting gives me the feeling of a society influenceable enough to have the this sentient artificial beings sold as pets/slaves. There, the government with a good share of the media, and control over what information reaches people labeling them as terrorists would most definetly be relevant.

They have a police car blowing up, probably the recordings of ponies distracting the officer, a lot of stuff and documents missing, even the flippin gun missing. The forensic investigation would notice the lack half burned documents or paper ashes, and most likely know the type of explosive substance used and likely sources of it... They have experience with the Starlight Brigade... I mean, they have to be outright stupid if they are not investigating the bombing already and maybe not having the final answer, but a ton of clues. I suppose...

The government has all those in a silver plate to influence people the moment they start with their serious ‘war’.

And I don’t like Violet’s plan. I understand her, but I still dislike her ways and question their efficiency. And the police officer seemed nice enough, nice is good, I liked him.

I mean... I will continue to enjoy this story, but I would go from offering food and shelter to any stray pony to ‘NOPE, no want pony near or around me’.

That makes sense, but you're not really going to get around the whole being labelled as terrorists part. That's kind of going to be an inevitable part of the process. Unless you plan to keep your movement 100% non-violent and pacifistic, which

1. Is very hard to enforce among all members, and your detractors will probably conflate you with other similar groups that don't adhere to those rules, and have their misrepresentations repeated by complicit media (think how often police will gas a peaceful protest and use the ensuing chaos to call it a riot, only for the press to uncritically run with headlines calling said protesters violent).

2. Has a terrible historical track record when comes to helping a literally enslaved population.

Basically, you're not going to get anywhere without your enemy smearing you, and they're not exactly above just lying in the first place. If they're not calling you dangerous radicals and a menace to all that is good and decent, it means you're not even considered a threat. Not that you should ignore working for hearts and minds and building support among the populace. Don't go out of your way to be evil dicks blowing up hospitals and school buses. and pushing old ladies down stairs. But don't constrain yourself based on what your enemy's propagandists cook up.

And yeah, I made the cop fairly friendly (or at least like a normal person and not an abusive power tripping lunatic) for good reason. More open hostility would have felt hard to justify, given that ponies are about as visually non-threatening as one can get, and with things not really heated up yet, are still widely viewed as harmless. And because going with overtly cruel, petty, and capricious oppressor would have been too cheap and easy. In reality, there's plenty of people who are genial and polite and nevertheless actively enforcing an oppressive system. I'm sure there were plenty of young Nazi recruits in occupied France who always tipped their caps to the local ladies, were always quick with a joke, and were generally chill dudes who just wanted to get home to their families and pet their dog, who never the less got killed by the French Resistance because they were wearing the uniform of the enemy. I might even in a generous moment feel a twinge of sympathy because surely not all of them actually chose to wear it in the first place. Doesn't mean I wouldn't aid said resistance. Or hide Jews in my attic, even if one had recently shanked an SS officer. Or shelter some runaway slaves after they'd set fire to the plantation and robbed and murdered a local slave trader on the road.

Welp. Since this are little stories I don’t know if they will appear again but I still see this ponies as bad guys. I suppose it’s your story and I will take it with a grain of salt.

Login or register to comment