Chapter 2
"You want us to fight alongside the Lord of Chaos?" Starswirl asked with a scowl.
"You're not selling yourself short enough, Starswirl," Discord retorted with his arms crossed, enjoying the discomfort of the Pillars. "You're the clean-up crew, at best."
The ancient heroes glared at the supposedly reformed tyrant as Twilight started looking increasingly worried. "Look, we can debate this later," Starlight interrupted firmly, seeing that Twilight wouldn't. "Discord wants the same thing we want: to stop the Pony of Shadows. What we need to worry about is FINDING him."
The Pillars, while displeased, did appear to accept her point. "Very well. For now, we shall accept this. But we are not finished with this," Starswirl promised solemnly to the Lord of Chaos.
"I'll try to fit you into my schedule," Discord retorted with a snort. "Now do any of you have a plan on how to find our shady fellow, or do I have to do everything around here?"
Mage Meadowbrook reluctantly spoke up. "It is hard to say. How long have we been gone?"
"We must have been gone for a great many years, for this day to come," Flash Magnus said, bravely staring down the unimpressed Discord.
"A thousand years," Sunburst answered, fixing his glasses.
"Weeeeeell, considering Nightmare Moon came back after a thousand, and everything else we heard about that happened, it's a tinsy bit longer than that," Pinkie Pie corrected before giving an easy-going grin. "But who's keeping count, really?"
"I'd like to say that my spell- before it was meddled with- worked, but peace obviously has not been maintained during our absence," Starswirl stated, giving disapproving looks to both the Alicorn of Friendship and Discord.
While Twilight looked a bit ashamed, Discord just let out a great laugh. "Ohhhh, that's a good one! Yes, like every monster and tyrant took a nap once you lot up and sealed yourselves in limbo," Discord taunted.
"Discord, be nice," Fluttershy requested sternly.
"No."
The pillars were drawn out of their distaste as they noticed the other ponies looking so surprised by the draconequus's blunt refusal. "Sorry, Fluttershy, but while you lot are my friends, and I'm no enemy of Equestria, I'm not inclined to extend the same courtesy to the Pillars."
Fluttershy paused to consider that stance, finding it reasonable. Not everypony had to like everypony else. "Be polite at least, please?"
"I am hardly the only one dropping shade, Fluttershy," Discord pointed out, glancing out towards the cliff. "Now, I think we should move this along."
Everypony looked on with rapt attention as Discord raised his lion pawn into the air. At first, most assumed he would merely snap his digits, but he instead reached out as if he were gripping onto the very air.
Pinkie Pie went stock still as she felt a full body ripple rush from her hooves to her mane. "This'll be a doosy," she said, swallowing nervously, making the rest of her friends uneasy.
"What do you-WOOOOOW!" Twilight asked, only to feel the ground leave her hooves and rush by her in a blinding, dizzying blur.
The dozen and more ponies all fell to a disheveled heap, groaning at the sensation. "What in tarnation was that!?" Applejack demanded, trying and failing to stand up as the world spun around her.
"I second that question!" Flash Magnus asked, having a similar but different issue, "Who is on my wing!?"
"Sorry! Terribly Sorry!" Rarity said as she quickly got off the appendage, looking around in confusion. "Where are we?"
Twilight shook her head, seeing nothing but grasslands, until she spotted a familiar mountain. "Wait, is that Canterlot?" she asked in surprise, before looking at Discord…who was now behind the group, holding Fluttershy in his tail. The mare shook her head a few times, looking to her friend in surprise. "Discord, what just happened?"
"I overshot," he answered, stroking his beard as he stared at his attended target.
Fluttershy blinked. "Is that Ponyville?" she asked, drawing everypony's attention to the small town, a short couple of miles from them.
"Do you know any other crystal palaces south of the Frozen North?" Discord answered, reaching up to grasp the air again, before jerking his arm as if to rip apart at something.
"Buck, not aGAIN!" Starlight yelled as the world went spinning beneath them again.
"Oh, this is just like when Stars teleported me the first few times," Rockhoof stated, looking rather green.
"Who Is In My Tail!?" Sunburst exclaimed with a blush.
"Not my desired location either!" Somnambula stated before pulling back to rub her eyes. "I mean no insult, but this is one of the worst ways I have been blinded.
"Okay, Dude?" Rainbow spoke up, grinning on the ground. "That was awesome, but a little warning?"
"I'll try to remember that," Discord said apathetically as he loosened his grip on Fluttershy, who wobbled in her flight a bit, but didn't fall.
"Why did you even do th-!?" Twilight started to accuse, only to blink as she looked up and saw the doors of the Palace of Friendship. "We're home!"
"Well, that is a sight, eh Mistmane?" Meadowbrook stated in wonder of the crystalline architecture.
"It is beautiful," Mistmane complimented with a soft smile.
"Kind of sticks out though," Rockhoof commented, looking around at the village just beyond the structure.
"No offense, Discord- okay, you know what, total offense! What The Buck Was That!?" Starlight asked as she helped Pinkie Pie off the ground. "Because that was NOT a teleporting spell."
"I agree," Starswirl acknowledged, eyeing the draconequus suspiciously. "I am certain there is some reason we are here, but why use high speed levitation instead of teleportation?"
Discord rolled his eyes with derision. "Because what I did was harder, Bells, and I didn't levitate any of you."
"What do you mean, didn't levitate? We moved to this town, how else do you explain this?" Starswirl asked with a frown.
Pinkie Pie gasped comically. "Did you pick each one of us up and run us all the way here so fast it seemed like it happened at the same time!?"
"Say what now?!" Rainbow demanded, sitting up instantly in alarm.
"What is wrong with her?" Meadowbrook asked in confusion.
"Poor dear's ego felt threatened," Rarity answered with fond amusement.
"No, Pinkie," Discord answered simply, trying not to snort at Rainbow's relieved breath. "I simply moved here to us instead of us to here," he explained casually as he entered the doors.
"What does that mean?" Magnus asked with a scowl, even as Twilight, Sunburst, and Starlight rapidly paled at the implications.
"W-wait, could he really do that!?" Sunburst asked frantically, looking between the Princess and his foalhood friend.
"Umm...Probably?" Starlight answered uneasily, looking to Twilight for confirmation.
"I'd be surprised if he couldn't," Twilight answered with a grimace.
"I'm sorry, I am actually lost. I don't speak Chaos," Starswirl stated, raising an eyebrow at the trio of intellectual ponies.
"Oh, nothing. Discord is just implying he moved the entire planet to get us to Ponyville," Starlight answered with a weak smile.
There was a heavy silence at that. "Is that...safe?" Applejack asked awkwardly.
"Nope. It's irresponsible, ineffective, and a hundred times more complicated than just teleporting like a normal magic user," Twilight ranted, wiping a hoof over her face at the end. "Oh, the calendars are going to be so far off if he keeps doing that."
"That's your concern?" Starswirl asked with a scowl, Twilight wilting under his disapproval.
"It's more like the one thing she can fix if she has to. Assuming Discord doesn't just retroactively put the world back into place once he's done moving it," Starlight answered with an eye roll. "Come on, we better get going before Discord gets bored."
Heroes of the Past and Present alike shivered in agreement, moving to enter the palace.
None of them were too surprised to find the draconequus waiting just down the hall. "Finally. I was just about to bring the throne room to you lot," he stated as they continued their walk.
"Just to be clear, you are aware of what this being has inflicted on ponies in the past?" Somnambula inquired warily.
"Oh, believe me, we are intimately familiar with Discord's more villainous actions," Rarity answered with a drawl, not fondly remembering their first meeting with the draconequus.
"Chocolate milk rain, cotton candy clouds," Pinkie Pie listed off, licking her lips.
"Taking away our horns and wings," Rainbow grumbled with crossed hooves.
"Turnin our minds inside out," Applejack recalled, shaking her head. "Big Mac had the taste of dirt in his mouth for weeks."
"Rewriting the laws of physics on a whim," Twilight finished, before smiling. "But yes, he is our friend now."
"Yes, yes, we're all very well acquainted with my sordid past," Discord waved off with thinly veiled impatience.
"He's still a jerk though," Rainbow stated flatly.
"Only if you admit to being one on occasion," Discord retorted with a smirk.
Rainbow opened her mouth before considering it. "I can live with that," she allowed with a shrug.
Fluttershy smiled warmly, "All he needed was somepony to reach out to him."
The Pillars remained skeptical, with Starswirl remaining entirely unconvinced of any good will on Discord's part.
"And he even helped saved everypony from the changelings," Starlight vouched before smirking wryly. "Including Princesses Celestia and Luna."
The Pillars all froze in mid step, Starswirl staring at their modern counterparts with shock, happiness bleeding in past his stony exterior. "Celestia and Luna are still alive? After all this time?" he asked before sighing in relief.
"Well of course, silly! What did you think Immortal Alicorn Princesses meant?" Pinkie Pie asked with a giggle.
"A lot could happen in a thousand years," Flash Magnus stated, giving Discord a cautious look. "As we are becoming very aware of."
"I'm relieved to hear they are well," Starswirl said, looking as if a few hundred years had rolled off his withers. "Wait? Is this their castle?" he asked in surprise.
"No, no, they live in one on the side of the mountain," Starlight answered bluntly.
"On the side of a-" Somnambula repeated before looking to Discord with bug eyes.
"That one is their own bit of insanity," Discord waved off dismissively, pushing open the door to the throne room.
Everypony watched with interest as the Lord of Chaos, walked over to sit down and lean on the wall with his arms crossed,
"Now, I believe this is the part where you find my punching bag," he stated, eyes closing in boredom.
"Wait, Discord," Twilight spoke up urgently. "What exactly is the plan when you beat the Pony of Shadows?"
Discord smirked at that, opening one eye at her. "When? Already assuming I'll win? Smart move, Princess."
Twilight rolled her eyes at that. "You didn't exactly leave much doubt back there."
Discord hummed. "Like I said, you're all the clean-up crew."
"I thought you said you weren't going to kill him?" Applejack asked with a scowl.
"I said you'd be surprised what you can live through," Discord corrected in annoyance, "Honestly, you all didn't complain this much after Sombra got vaporized."
"Discord, just please give us a straight answer?" Starlight requested.
"A straight answer, from the Mad God?" Flash Magnus repeated skeptically.
Discord glanced to the pegasus before closing his eyes again. "Who are you again?" he asked in boredom.
"What? Don't pretend we have never met! I battled against you many times, we all have," Flash Magnus retorted with a glare.
"And the only ones I ever bothered to remember are Mistmane, Starswirl, and Stygian. And I only remember Misty over there for the mock-Alicorn mane," Discord answered with a chuckle, to Flash's obvious displeasure. "If it makes you all feel any better, I'm not going to kill him. I'm just going to beat the Pony of Shadows off of him. After that, the rest is your problem."
"You can do that?" Somnambula asked in surprise and renewed hope.
"If you're so confident in your power, why bring us at all?" Mistmane questioned in suspicion.
"Because Stygian is your problem. And it's about time somepony else fix their own problem instead of these girls having to do it for them," Discord explained factually, before turning his attention on the Stallion of Sorcery. "These six saved the world AND your precious students more than a few times, Starswirl. So lay off the frostiness with them."
"Is Discord praising us?" Applejack whispered in surprise.
"I think it's more him roasting the pillars," Rainbow answered in kind.
"I'd take that, but I don't think I count. I only have one "save the world" under my belt, and I'm sharing that one with him," Starlight commented with some amusement.
"Celestia and Luna needing saving?" Rockhoof questioned.
Discord snorted, his shoulders rocking with laughter and snickers.
"Why don't we just focus on saving the world before getting you reacquainted with it?" Rarity suggested diplomatically.
"If it helps, just pretend I'm not here," Discord suggested, waving them off.
"You heard the Chaos King, ponies! Just don't look at him and ignore that he wants to turn half the ponies in the room inside out," Pinkie Pie declared enthusiastically.
Starswirl regarded her oddly for a moment before turning back to the magical map. "The lands have changed much, but I recall by heart many dark places the Pony of Shadows might seek to gather his dark power to its full strength," he stated, marking several locations with small, conjured black clouds.
"Wait, so, that wasn't his full power?" Rainbow asked before looking to Discord accusingly. "Did you let him go on purpose?"
The heroes, new and old, were more than a little perturbed when Discord failed to acknowledge the question, his stillness disturbing for his nature.
"...Anypony else starting to think this Discord is a fake?" Applejack asked, shifting her eyes about cautiously.
"No, that's him," Fluttershy assured with a smile full of confidence.
"How can you be so sure?" Sunburst asked curiously. A tap on his withers brought his attention to Starlight. Her expression was entirely blank with a thin layer of annoyance underneath as she pointed upward. He looked up and blinked owlishly at the rather bizarre pink cloud hovering above him. "What is-?"
He fell silent as the cloud suddenly started to unload a brown rain over him, ruining his cap and socks rather quickly. "Yep, that's Discord," Starlight said with an eye roll.
"Yay! Cotton Candy Clouds!" Pinkie Pie declared, jumping off the table to land head first into the cloud.
"Are we sure she's not some creation of Discord's?" Meadowbrook asked quietly to Somnambula.
"His better qualities, if so," The Pillar of Hope answered uncertainly.
Attention was drawn again to Pinkie, who began spitting out pieces of the cloud in disgust. "What's wrong, Pinkie?" Twilight asked in concern.
"This isn't a cotton candy cloud!" Pinkie Pie declared unhappily, ripping off a piece to wave about. "This is just pink cotton!"
"Wait...did Discord just prank Pinkie Pie?" Rainbow realized, her lips twitching in amusement.
"Gah! At least there's still the chocolate milk rain," Pinkie Pie decided, jumping down to put her head under the rain as Sunburst moved out, allowing Starlight to mercifully spell-clean his attire.
Studying the map intently, Starswirl opened his mouth to regain everypony's focus, only for Pinkie Pie to spit out the drink.
"What now? Mud rain?" Applejack asked, completely unsurprised by Pinkie's misfortune.
"WORSE! It's...It's..." Pinkie Pie strained to say the unholy words.
Starlight conjured an empty glass cup, allowing it to fill before she tentatively took a sip. "Sugar free?" she realized with a quirked eyebrow.
Pinkie Pie broke down into overdramatic tears as Discord gained a small smirk.
"Okay, it's him, and that was kind of awesome," Rainbow stated with a smirk.
"Do remember that, Darling, when said ruffian turns his attention on you," Rarity teased as Rainbow went stock still, glancing warily to Discord's unmoving form.
"If you're quite done!" Starswirl called, getting an apologetic look from Twilight. "We still have a villain to locate."
"Right," Twilight said, glancing to Discord with a raised eyebrow. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to just teleport us there?"
Discord hummed, opening his eyes briefly. "I've sworn off most teleporting for the foreseeable future. So, unless you all want to me to hurl each corner of Equestria to us, no."
"Fluttershy, any chance you could reason with him?" Starlight suggested in exasperation.
"I don't have to," Fluttershy answered with a smile that was, dare they say it, smug. "Discord, could you make us some portals?"
Discord snorted, unable to help the grin on his face. "I do love a good loophole, Flutters," he said, unfolding one arm to point his griffon talon at the map. He jabbed at the air, a thud echoing throughout the room. Everypony turned to see the black clouds on the map expand and curl into black spheres, along with the cotton cloud shrinking to do the same, but pink. "Throw the black ones and they'll take you one of those "dark" places."
"I can feel the quotes on dark," Twilight stated flatly.
"The pink one will take you back here, and unlike the others, isn't a one-use item," Discord finished as Fluttershy smiled in thanks.
"Thank you, Discord," Fluttershy said with a smile.
"Any time, Fluttershy."
The pillars stared at the yellow mare with wide eyes of speculation. "Do you think she and the Old Worm are mating?" Rockhoof asked quietly to Flash Magnus.
"...Is it disturbing how much that would explain?" the soldier asked with a disturbed look.
"Did you two say something?" Discord called, opening one eye to give the two a warning look.
"No, no, nothing at all!" Starlight interrupted with a strained smiled, teleporting in front of the pair, using her magic to hold the two stallions' mouths shut. "Insult her, and going back to Limbo won't be able to protect you," she warned through her teeth, never letting her forced smile shrink.
"Good," Discord said, ignoring how Starlight sighed in relief. "Now get out, all of you."
"Get out? You do remember this is my castle, right?" Twilight asked in annoyance.
"Yes, but you have some Pillars out of water to guide around. Enjoy explaining trains and light bulbs to them," Discord retorted.
"That would be the Egghead department," Rainbow retorted with an eye roll as the group of ponies collected the orbs and headed out the door.
"You go on ahead; I'll catch up in a second!" Starlight called from the door before trotting over to Discord. "Okay, what's going on?"
"Saving the world, same thing as usual," Discord answered without even looking at her.
"No, I mean, what happened to you? You vanish for months, miss out on your own ceremony, and come back like...THIS!" Starlight clarified, waving to his general person.
Discord glanced at her briefly, his red eyes brimming with amusement. "You just motioned to all of me."
"Exactly! You're actually taking this seriously! And, as impossible as it seems, you actually feel like you're now even more powerful!" Starlight pointed out with a furrowed brow.
"Find Stygian and I'll tell you a story," Discord answered in amusement.
"About that," Starlight redirected carefully. "How much do you know about the Pony of Shadows? You said he was one of the only ones you bothered to remember?"
Discord finally regarded her fully. "I tend to remember those that defeat my unwinnable mind games."
Starlight raised an eyebrow at that description, but continued. "Yeah, okay, that's impressive, but what caused him to go evil?"
Discord snorted. "I said he's a male-knockoff of Nightmare Moon, and I meant it," Discord answered vaguely.
"Well, your infamous knack for infuriatingly unclear answers hasn't changed much," Starlight remarked dryly. "Can you at least tell me what you're really doing here?" she asked curiously, getting no response. "Come on, Discord. I know I'm the new one in this group, but even I know that if you're just sitting there, you definitely NOT doing nothing at all."
"Smart mare," Discord acknowledged as he uncrossed his arms to reveal...a ball; a solid white ball that floated in front of him while giving off waves in the air around it.
"What is that?" Starlight asked cautiously. "Isn't that what you were going to finish off the Pony of Shadows with?
"Just something I've been practicing with. It's basically an object with infinite negative-mass that generates, among other things, a reverse gravity well," Discord explained without much interest.
"Isn't that dangerous?" Starlight asked with a startled expression.
"Probably. The inversed gravitational force of this thing alone would be enough to destroy all of Equestria, at minimum," Discord explained casually.
"Why Do You Have That Here!?" Starlight exclaimed, leaning back in shock and fear, her mane practically standing up on end.
Discord shrugged. "I prefer time crawling by instead of blitzing away. Relatively."
"What does that even mean?" Starlight asked in confusion.
"It means you should catch up before Twilight is any more blinded by the bearded wonder," Discord answered dismissively, crossing his arms again.
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So Discord is manipulating time in the most obtuse way possible out of boredom? How amusing.
This is only getting better and better, his new personality is just excellent, it still feels like Discord but on a different take. I can’t wait to see how you will write incoming fights, also I much prefer this new hands on battle strategy Discord is using than his old fighting style.
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Technically speaking, he's training by trying to contain and neutralize the space, time, mass, gravitational, and other issues that thing should cause. Time, ironically, is one of the lower priorities since it is "crawling by"
Almost feels like Discord is channeling Escanor at times. Also I’m curious if he will eventually go out of his way to really focus on Starswirl’s attitude problem.
We need a burn trauma unit for pinkie pie stat.
oooooooh i definitely love this version of Discord, all-powerful Mad God of chaos as he is supposed to be,
Damn, he really got Pinkie something fierce! Sugar free? Oh the horror!
MORE, I NEED MORE CHAOS NOODLE!!!!!!!
Out of everything that happened in this chapter, I'm the happiest to see someone finally call Starswilr out on his shit. Seriously, in the show he didn't act like a wise defender of Equestria, more like an arrogant old fool who believes he's the only one who can be right.
Also, I'm just loving the sheer amount of faith Fluttershy seems to have in Discord.
Glad to see Discord being so assertive and blunt with the Pillars. Starswirl, that old bag of bones, deserves to be humiliated.
I like this Discord
Honestly, this is getting tiresome. Is the entire story just going to be "Super-Discord effortlessly wins at everything"?
10285969
I mean, the story is only on it's second chapter; I feel like it's a bit early to find it tiresome.
I am very much looking forward to more.
Keep up the great work. Deus tecum.
This was excellent. It was fun to see everyone interacting, and more than a bit amusing to see Pinkie pranked. The sugar-free chocolate milk was a nice touch. I was starting to wonder if it was some other type of brownish rain, but you cleverly subverted that too.
10285969
This is Discord being unleashed, I mean do you know he could do at his full power?
10290480
I dunno, turn day to night with a snap of his fingers, make a pony think they are a dog, invert the personality of someone so that they’re cruel bastards, force someone to dance nonstop and ignore everything around them, locally switch off gravity, transmute matter or energy into another form of matter or energy, create life from nothing, have cause follow rather than precede effect, add or remove or distort limbs at will to creatures, teleport instantaneously...
...wait no hang on that’s all stuff he could already do and does on a regular basis.
10292434
But he wasn't actively trying to kill someone, so I consider that as him holding back even more.
10293155
True, but, that’s not the point. The point is that Discord was, functionally, omnipotent already, and what made him an interesting character was the fact that he held back or wasn’t crafty or clever enough to think of a way around a problem that his powers couldn’t solve (there’s a (admittedly comedy) fic, for example, where he solves the “changeling throne” thing by just standing outside of the radius of the throne’s effect, gives himself infinite strength and pinpoint accuracy, and then throws a big rock at where the throne is. Sheer kinetic force - which doesn’t go away even if the magic has - has the rock blast through the walls of the hive and then strike and destroy the throne).
Wait, socks? I always figured that's just his coat coloration...
10298318
Huh, might be. In my defense, he(and his mother) is about the only pony I recall with legs that have a different color than the rest of their body, if that's the case. Between his cloak and everything else, him wearing socks didn't really seem that out of place. Just made him seem more eccentric.
Honestly considering he was able to move the sun and moon effortlessly without bulking up that isn’t really that surprising.
I like how Shy knows how Discord works.