Court of Private Opinion
Twilight paced. Not because she was nervous, of course. It just helped her think. “Okay. So. I think we can all agree that the Friendship Festival didn’t quite go as planned, what with literally none of the international guests being able to make it, or the early hiccups with Songbird Serenade, or the… well… the hostile invasion. But looking back. I think we can all agree that this was far from the worst possible outcome.”
“That’s all well and good, Your Highness," said Tempest Shadow, sitting calmly and keeping watch on the doors to the throne room, "but I sincerely hope ‘It could have been worse’ won’t be your legal defense for me.”
“Strictly speaking, I shouldn’t even be allowed to practice law, but apparently that’s one of those things being a princess lets you do." Twilight felt an eye twitch, then spat out her mane once she realized she was chewing on it. "One that Princess Celestia chose not to tell me until the day before the trial.”
“Ah." Tempest rose, making a slight scraping sound as her armor ground against itself, the Storm King's symbol scrubbed off the flanks. "I take it this is typical behavior for her?”
Twilight hesitated. This was her former mentor she was talking about. Under another hoof, it was the mare who'd stood like a bump on a log when getting pelted with petrification grenades. “Well, if I’m being honest, she could stand to improve her communication skills.”
Tempest nodded. “I see. And if I were to offer some advice for a hostile coup, putting you on the the throne in her place?”
“That was a joke,” Twilight said, scowling.
Tempest glanced at her. “Was that a question?”
“No. I am decreeing that what you just said was a joke." Twilight managed to get something like a smile on her face. It felt like she pulled something in the attempt. "Good effort, excruciatingly poor taste.”
“Duly noted, Your Highness,” Tempest said with what Twilight chose to interpret as a prolonged nod.
She shook her head and muttered, “Honestly, me on the throne.”
“You seemed to handle yourself well during the invasion.”
Twilight didn't facehoof, but she did come close. “Tempest. I have no plans to usurp Celestia and rule with an iron hoof. Or a hoof of any other sort of material.”
Another prolonged nod. “My apologies, Your Highness. I’m still adjusting from my previous employer.”
“Which is why you insist on calling me ‘Your Highness.’”
“No." Tempest smirked. "That is a joke.”
As Twilight found herself caught between wanting to scream and wanting to laugh, the doors to the throne room inched open, allowing a guard to poke his head into the corridor. “Princess Twilight. The diarchs will see you now.”
“Understood.” Twilight shut her eyes. Breathe in tranquility, breathe out concern. “Well, here goes something.”
The Staff of Sacanas had restored the throne room as it had the rest of Canterlot, but Twilight’s memories filled it with rubble and the shocked, petrified forms of her fellow princesses. She shook the vision away. She had to focus on the present.
Not that the present was much better. Princess Celestia wore a neutral mask, betraying nothing. Princess Luna glared down at them like the specter of death itself. “Princess Twilight Sparkle,” said Luna. “Fizzlepop Berrytwist, styled Tempest Shadow. You stand here to be judged.”
Twilight's jaw dropped as she processed the full ramifications. “Wait, I thought I was here to defend Tempest!”
“Neigh," said Luna. "Each of you stands only to account for herself. And we begin with you, Princess Twilight. Our ally Novo, Queen of Mount Aris and Seaquestria, has accused you of the attempted theft of the Pearl of Transmutation. How do you plead?”
“I, I…” Twilight's mind went blank. A high-pitched whine filled her ears, and she wasn't sure if it was psychosomatic or the sound of her whimpering. This was it. This was the end of the impossible run of luck that had begun on her first day in Ponyville. This really was the end of the world.
“Hold on.” The end of the world got delayed on account of Tempest.
Luna regarded her coolly. “Your judgement will come, Miss Berrytwist.”
Tempest pressed on regardless. “The Storm King laid siege to Mount Aris years ago. I reviewed his conquests during our voyages; that was one of his first. And you claim to be allies with them?" She turned to Celestia. "Where were you when Mount Aris fell?”
The neutral mask didn't budge. “That is not relevant to the discussion at hoof.”
“Actually, it kind of is," said Twilight, mind reengaged by the intriguing question. "The only reason I resorted to theft was because Queen Novo, the mare you told me to go to with what I thought was your last breath, didn’t give a rotten apple core about the Storm King laying siege to Canterlot. And that disinterest very well could have been returning the favor for when Equestria never answered Mount Aris’s call for aid.”
That broke Celestia's calm, even if it left a frown in its wake. “We never received a call for aid. I found out about the state of the hippogriffs after you did, Twilight, when Novo confronted me on the topic. Only then did we realize her messengers never reached me, lost at some point between here and Mount Aris.”
“Hold." Luna turned to her sister, frowning as well. "Did she not think that their failure to return might have implied a failure to present their messages?”
Celestia turned away, focused on a distant corner of the throne room. “Novo has always been… risk-averse, you might say. After the third courier never returned, she refused to lose any more of her citizens to what seemed like a guaranteed deathtrap." She shook her head. "Indeed, she forbade all of her citizens from leaving Seaquestria from that point on. Princess Skystar was only a young child at the time; doubtless that had an impact on Novo’s decision.”
“Wait." Twilight took a few steps closer to the throne before going on. "Princess, before the concert, how long had it been since you’d last had any kind of contact with Queen Novo?”
It took Celestia a few moments to answer. “Twelve, thirteen years, perhaps?”
“And how often did you converse before that?” said Luna.
“Once or twice a month.”
Twilight gave the most judgemental look she'd pointed at Celestia since the princess proposed setting Discord free. “And you never thought to investigate?”
Celestia met the look head-on. “I was a bit busy at the time. There was this country called 'Equestria' that needed somepony to watch over it. Perhaps you’ve heard of the place. Also a precocious young filly who needed careful guidance, especially in light of both her predecessor and a certain sister of mine returning home soon." She pointed a wing at each mentioned pony in turn.
“That said, I did send some letters of my own. Novo never answered them." Celestia sighed and shook her head. "It turns out she never received them either. The rail workers will need a considerable complement of soldiers to protect them if the proposed Mount Aris Terminal will be built on schedule.”
“And yet she was still the first creature who came to mind," said Luna. "As opposed to the dragons, griffons, yaks, and other races who could be reached without risking the proven peril of the southlands.”
Celestia stomped the dais with a forehoof. “Look, I’m not on trial here. Literally, I am not the one on trial here.”
Tempest shrugged. “It could be argued that Twilight was acting on your instructions and thus as your proxy. By that logic, Your Highness, you are the one on trial at the moment.”
“I certainly did not tell Twilight to steal the hippogriffs’ most sacred and powerful treasure!” Celestia cried, flaring her wings.
“Your exact words were ‘Seek help from the Queen of the Hippogriffs,’" said Twilight. After a moment, she added, "Well, you said ‘Hippo’ before you started screaming, but since Prince Phelddagrif is a bull, I went with the more logical option. And when I sought help from Queen Novo, she refused, so I sought help from her in a different way.”
Luna gave the grin that meant she was thinking back to the messier parts of history. “We have performed acts in Equestria’s name that some would consider criminal, sister.”
Celestia scoffed. “Those were all over a thousand years ago!”
“Mine were, yes. But I seem to recall our vaults holding several artifacts belonging to other nations, ones not present in Castle Everfree. The Talisman of Mirage stands out in particular." Luna brought a thoughtful hoof to her chin. "A changeling artifact in our possession long before King Thorax’s coup raises a number of questions.”
Celestia got to her hooves, wings at full spread. “It was for the good of Equestria!”
“That’s how I justified myself at the time.” Twilight's voice was far quieter than Celestia's, yet filled the room in a way hers hadn't.
Luna just smirked. “Truly, your students do take after you, sister. Even Sunset Shimmer seemed to embrace your artifactual kleptomania upon her return, if none of your other lessons. Tell me, did you truly disband the Crimson Ravens, or did you merely rename your personal troop of battlefield scavengers?”
Actual embers manifested in Celestia's mane, which wasn't flowing so much as spiking like an angry unicorn's hornfield. “Twilight! Trial! Stealing the Pearl!”
Luna shrugged her wings. “She was banished from Seaquestria and had her gills taken before she had a chance to surface. A literal trial by water. The ocean judged her worthy of life, and I shall not gainsay it.”
Celestia said nothing, one eye twitching for a few moments. One of her hipposandals blistered and deformed. Finally, she plopped herself back on her throne.
“Wait," Twilight said to Luna, "why did you seem ready to put my head on a chopping block?”
“You may have noticed that I have something of a flair for the dramatic,” said the dream-walking Mistress of the Night with a mane of ten thousand stars. “I enjoy the chance to indulge myself as the stern judge, but I enjoy the chance to heckle my dear sister even more.”
“In any case," Celestia boomed, gaze never turning from Luna, "tempted though I may be by recent events, I agree with my fellow ruler’s judgement. You have already been tried and punished for this crime, Twilight, and it has been made abundantly clear how hypocritical we would be to punish you further."
After a deep breath, one using the very same breathing exercise Cadence had taught Twilight, Celestia got back some measure of calm. She brought her attention to Tempest. "That brings us to you, Commander.”
She merely nodded. “Your Highnesses.”
“You stand accused of four counts of extremely aggravated lèse-majesté, three counts of assault with intent to permanently incapacitate the immortal, numerous counts of domestic terrorism, several thousand counts of wrongful imprisonment, and one count of the hostile conquest of Canterlot with a foreign army." Celestia raised an eyebrow. "How do you plead?”
Tempest blinked. “Confused, Your Highness. I’m not sure if the third charge applies to me, or that the fifth is even a crime.”
Celestia grinned, but it came with a sigh. “Do you know how your attack will go into the history books, Commander?”
“You don’t have to use my rank, Your Highness. The army I command is in limbo after Princess Twilight refused to accept it, despite defeating their previous master.”
All eyes turned to Twilight. She tilted back her head and groaned. “I’m the Princess of Friendship! I don’t need a guard battalion. Certainly not one that I ‘earned’ through combat.” One nice thing about ascension, wings made for much better air quotes than forelegs.
“It will be recorded as the Thirty-Seventh Invasion of Canterlot," said Celestia. "We criminalized the act of invasion after the sixth.”
“Ah." Tempest cleared her throat. "That’s… not exactly the best track record, Your Highness.”
“In our defense," said Luna, "many of them them occurred prior to my banishment. The historians of the time considered anything from a monster attack to a lost and very confused single griffon an ‘invasion.’”
Celestia nodded. “Town criers longed for attention-grabbing news as much as their modern descendants do. As for the terrorism charges, you remain a citizen of Equestria, Ms. Shadow, even given your long pilgrimage.”
“Ah. In that case, I have to plead guilty of all charges.”
“Tempest!” Twilight cried.
She shrugged. “The judges aren't just witnesses, they're victims. There’s no point in denying I did it.”
“Indeed not," Luna said with a nod. "For your crimes against Equestria, we have no choice but to banish you.”
Another shrug. “Wouldn’t be any different than most of my life.”
“From Canterlot,” added Celestia.
That made Tempest hesitate. “What?”
“For one year’s time,” both sisters chorused before slamming their hooves on the floor in unison.
Tempest looked from alicorn to alicorn, and that included Twilight, who felt as confused as Tempest looked. “No, seriously, what?”
“Saving the day invites a great deal of leniency,” Celestia said with a smile.
Luna nodded. “It is often best to encourage such behavior.”
“I…" Tempest shut her mouth and knelt before the thrones. "Thank you, Your Highnesses.”
Twilight couldn't contain herself any longer. “This is fantastic!" She swept up Tempest in a hug and made for the exit, not even noticing the weight of her passenger. “Oh, I’ll have Spike set up a room for you in the castle, and Pinkie can set up that Birthday Backlog Bash she was talking about, and Fluttershy can find you and Grubber pets, and…”
Unseen by Twilight, Tempest stared at the diarchs in horror, the true nature of her punishment sinking in.
Both nodded back knowingly.
This concludes the “FoME tries to make sense of the movie through Tempest Shadow” trilogy. The relationship between Novo and Celestia is a curious one, and is best explored in a story by Fylifa that I can’t actually link to because of site policy. All we have to go on in canon is one shot from the movie credits.
It's admittedly a fairly loose spin on that first card, but "winged messengers carrying bad news" certainly works. Especially when one of them is named Twilight. 
Credit for Prince Phelddagrif goes to Thought Prism’s How Rarity fell in love with a Flying Purple Hippo. And Celestia's Bloody Magpies certainly explain how the Season 8 MacGuffin Combo Platter came into her possession.
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Any time Twilight rags on Celestia is a fun time. She should do It more often, it's good mental exercise.
I really did wish Tempest stuck around more in main canon. Also I love the little plot poking done here
Altho i couldve sworn the season 8 combo platter was donated to the school from their respective sources and not given by celestia
Okay, the roasting Celestia got was just delightful. Really. As much as I love Princess Sunbutt, she does do a lot of stuff that's questionable.
Oh Gaia… I actually laughed out loud at this punchline. I hope I didn't wake up any of my roommates.
Nice trial with tons of twists and stuff!
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Indeed.
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Your Twilight continues to be exceptionally written. Also, EEEEE senpai noticed me again!
I swear I remember a story where Novo tried to get in Celestia's face about Twilight stealing the pearl and Celestia coming back on her about her not giving aid to Equestria. I don't recall if it had Seaquestria having called Equestria for aid and not getting any.
In Celestia's defense for thinking of them first, the others don't have anything that specializes in transformation magic
How much more of the 41st Millennium are you going to stuff into Equestria? At least this time it actually served a purpose... in a way that requires people to actually get the reference in order to work. You're welcome, by the way.
Makes sense with my headcanon of her biological immortality due to a connection with the Pearl; when you can only die by being killed, you try very hard to avoid being killed. Of course, the "always" would make her older than Celestia, but that's something that could have gone either way without affecting anything we've seen in canon by dint of how rarely either's past is ever talked about and both being stupidly old regardless.
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And I'm fairly certain Oliver's Points of Canon series disagreed with you, although I'm having enough trouble finding the specific reference to say "screw it" and let you look it up on your own time.
The rail workers will need a considerable compliment of soldiers - complement
And Phelddagrif is the perfect name for the ruler of the hippos.
Heh. Blood Ravens.
Expected cards this time were Steal Artifact and Supreme Verdict.
Have you considered writing a standalone work about Tempestpop Shadowtwist?
in other words make some friends purple butt im guessing
Was Daring Do once a student of Celestia?
Artifactual kleptomania. There is such a thing as spoils of war, people
So, thinking about this. What was Queen Novo's reaction to finding out Twilight was ascending to the throne of Equestria
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I admit, it is a joy to have Twilight vent her frustrations on Sunbutt, especially to her face. Though "Twilight and Luna share their grievances about Celestia" is a fun story. Especially if you work in Cadence and/or Sunset.
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Nope. Quoth the Book of Canon, Chapter 8, Verse 14:
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Do not spite a princess, for they are subtle and swift to anger.
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It's a quality crossover crackship. How could I say no?
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True. As a counterpoint, dragons. (Though I suppose collateral damage may have been a concern.)
In all seriousness, I figured that Celestia hadn't fully internalized Twilight's ongoing diplomatic hot streak, spouting the first longer-term ally that came to mind in her panic.
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As much as amuses me.
And I honestly never thought of Novo as immortal in any way. I figured Celestia has known her family for much of their dynasty. Authority clearly causes most species on this world to grow in size. (See also Rain Shine, Thorax, post-timeskip Twilight, etc.)
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Again, credit to Thought Prism there. Do check out the linked story if you haven't already.
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Once I have a solid idea to work with, I'll be happy to give Templepop Berryshade a starring role.
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On pain of warm fuzzies.
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Not necessarily... but I can't rule it out.
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"Good to hear. Tia can come visit and that filly will be too busy keeping house to try anything."
"Crimson Ravens"
I understood that reference, and laughed.
Personally, I'd add the movie to my headcanon of "stuff that never happened" if I didn't like much of the fanfic Tempest Shadow inspired.