Tempest Shadow is a pony trying to learn how to be part of pony society. To her, Equestria is a foreign land, and she's just a stranger in it. The natives are friendly, but her days are empty. What she needs is something to ground her. Something that can make her part of daily Ponyville life.
She needs a job.
Content Warning: Radical Freedom
This story was written over an embarrassingly long time as a commission for a friend. I have to admit I really like writing Tempest Shadow. She's a great horse.
Thanks to all my patrons and followers!
Chapters (1)
That was really good! I love the way you write Tempest: always projecting that aura of utter seriousness and control, even when she's completely at a loss for what to do. Thanks for writing this!
The hardest part of war is not fighting it; it's leaving it behind. War is simple; you get into a fight, and you either win and go on to the next fight, or you lose and then you don't have to worry about the next fight.
Tempest is right: Winning doesn't just mean that you win; it means dealing with the consequences of winning. Maybe winning means you punch a bully in the nose and make them cry, and the consequence is you feel bad because you didn't really want to hurt them; you just wanted them to leave you alone. Maybe winning means you cheated, and the consequence is that you get caught and now nobody trusts you.
Maybe winning means you kill someone, and the consequence is knowing that you gathered up everything they had and were ever going to have and took it away.
That isn't war; that's life. Anyone who says otherwise is trying to trick you.
I ship it. As does the mail service, ba dum tish
This was adorable, and it's also really funny! Tempest has absolutely zero chill, and it works really great when she's earnestly trying to be better. Derpy is a slightly out of it ray of sunshine, as per usual. Details like how an Amphisbaena digests (and knowing what those are) is a nice touch. The fact that Dinky knows a lot about monsters because of her mom's job is cool too, if a bit worrying since I bet she spends a lot of time worrying about her on dangerous routes. But neither rain nor sleet nor glom of nit... Mrs Cake, on the other hand, may cause some trouble.
The bit with Pinkie Pie was funny but kindof felt like it was from another story. Chocolate sauce isn't puzzling in that combo for me, but the ancient gross cheese... blork!
The bit with the cows made me think of Estee's take on them, which I like.
I LOVE the quote about Heroes are just ponies who know they're free. And I still think the advice was kindof good, but getting the teacher involved is also a good idea? My personal experience suggests that bullies who find you too much trouble first make a game of it all and then try to make friends with you so *shrugs*
I do like this unlikely couple though, I'd love to see more of them. Get more of Derpy's foibles in there as they awkwardly get to know each other better.
Lets go over my 'Great Story Checklist TM'
Tempest? Check
Derpy? Check
Violence? Check
Rare Pair? Check
Score? 11/10
Aw this looks adorable
Cute story
media.tenor.com/images/74c2072212116c8f0ba91adb39522c4f/tenor.gif
Slight possible error I noticed: At the start, Tempest doesn't seem to recognize Derpy, but then she says:
But later, we get this exchange:
Which looks like a minor continuity error to me, unless I missed something.
Other than that, fantastic story, I always appreciate more Tempest.
Sure, I'll ship it. Fun story mate.
10263651
Thank you! It was a story detail I changed later and I missed a beat.
I swear, every story you write is better than the last. This is incredibly funny, with many excellent lines, while also doubling as a show-like slice of life with a widely applicable take-home message.
very good writing, have to say tempest gave dinky the correct advice. despite what everyone may think sometimes adults just don't settle things.
And Starlight enslaved an entire town, before stalking a princess, then messing with time itself - leading to quite a few unfortunate alternate histories, where likely thousands died.
What did Starlight get in return? Student of the newest adult princess, counsellor of the princess's new school, then Headmare.
What you did, Tempest, isn't all that abhorrent, in comparison; you'll be fine.
Murphy! Paging Murphy!
So your expert advice, Cadance, is to simply endure the bullying?
Harassment and verbal abuse don't last forever either, but when it occurs between adults its a criminal case.
Lets see ... Dinky already went to Miss Cheerilee and it only made matters worse for her ... yeah she'll trust the adults to "handle" the matter (just like they did for the CMC)
Despite my issues with the attitudes of Cadance and Derpy (of all ponies), this was a very good story, have a Like and a Mustache
I'd love to see more to this!
Also I personally do not believe Tempest was entirely wrong with the advice she gave Dinky, and I speak from personally experience. Words sometimes fail, teachers sometimes fail to stop bullying. Sometimes, eventually the bullyed party has to say enough is enough, and fight back. And Cheerilee has even been cannonly shown to do very little about bullying. (See pre-reformed Diamond Tiara and Silverspoon).
Something many adults forget is unlike us, children cannot as easily just ignore something, or let it go. When I was in the 3rd grade I was bullied by a particularly annoying kid who sought to torment me endlessly, either by pantsing me, shoving me into a classroom closet and shutting the door or various other things. Not ONCE did the teachers actually DO anything about it. Eventually I lost patience and after a comment from the boy, I punched him in the jaw. He never bothered me again. The school TRIED to suspend me, but my mother, who'd been passing the school at the time walking our dogs, saw the event and confronted the school. Long story short she told them she had told me "I am not to start a fight, but if someone starts one with me. Finish it" the fact they let the bullying of me continue to that point had been their (the schools) fault not mine. End result? I did not get suspended, and instead the bully did.
So no, I do not think Tempest is entirely wrong. I just think physically fighting back is an option to be used when all other options have failed.
10266106
She wasn't entirely wrong. Derpy, Cadance, and other adults want to think they can change things and fix it, because to some extent that's their job as parents, rulers, teachers, etc. I think what most adults forget about bullying and kids is that something that seems like a trivial issue to an adult can be absolutely devastating for a child. Everyone has something that's the worst thing to ever happen to them, and emotionally that's at the top of your pain chart, a solid 10/10. The older you get, the more likely it is that you've suffered something really awful, and it's easy to make the mistake of thinking your pain, your 10/10 is the same as everyone else's. So a teacher sees a kid being called names, and they dismiss it as barely even a 3/10, but to that kid, it might be the very worst torment they've had to endure. It's easy to ignore a minor annoyance, but someone in agony doesn't have the same luxury.
10266233
very true
Always nice to see more well-written edgehorse. Good stuff!
Good story! Not the kind of thing I'm likely to revisit, but I'm glad I read it anyway.
I don't think that "when" should be there.
Bold of you to assume Ponkers isn't herself a bratty switch.
Good on you, Tempest. I'm proud of you.
This certainly is on brand for Derpy.
Awwwwww
She's lucky she lives in a world where war crimes don't happen because "just following orders" doesn't get you as much leeway when you actually kill and torture people.
I don't understand people who don't think Rarity is a domme.
Awwwwwww you write Rarity fantastically!
WHO HURT YOU
Fuck.
Fuuuuuuck.
You know, as a socialist, I'm always hyper aware of all the injustice constantly happening. Especially this last week and a half, for obvious reasons.
I really needed to hear this. Thank you.
This is secretly just a story about overcoming abuse, isn't it?
Oh. Oh yeah. I forgot that Derpy saved all of Equestria with that selfless move. God, she's so sweet and patient and forgiving.
Greg Universe called; he wants his platitude back.
I don't remember what this literary device is called, but I love it.
Surprised no ponification of "Dutch".
Is it love?
"Fortunate Son" plays faintly in the distance
Wouldn't they be in Old Ponish then? Lack of historical accuracy in my pony fanfiction REEEEEEE!
(I'm allowed to REEE, I'm a batpony.)
This story is ultimately going to be about learning to move on, isn't it?
LOL she yeeted the CMC out of her classroom!
This is a similar situation to the one in the Luster Dawn story.
I'm not going to quote the whole thing, but fuck that scene between Tempest and Dinky is so fucking great. None of this pussy liberal turn the other cheek bullshit! Fuck shit up, and those abusing power will listen! Violence gets results.
I've been rewatching Brooklyn Nine-Nine with my mom and Tempest and Rosa Diaz would get along really well I think.
lol
Again, not quoting the whole thing, but Cadance would clearly be in the reformance wing of the DSA or Labour Party.
She is immaculate.
Fuck yeah, fight the power!
Oof, gives "edge horse" new meaning
This whole thing sounds like it is a bit triggering for Tempest.
Oh shit, it's a real mythological creature! Neat! If Aragon and Horizon ever get the smoking tiger thing going again you should submit it!
It's funny, because speaking of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, in the Season 2 stakeout episode, Terry draws the same thing but as a hippo!
Lol and almost always on Saturdays! XD
Okay so I guess having to deal with all these spineless pusillanimous milquetoast liberals trying to sing Kumbaya with the pigs as of late has made me a bit edgier than I should be. I guess an appropriate compromise, and one that Twilight and Co. use frequently, is try to solve things with diplomacy first, and if that doesn't work, then fuck around and find out.
As Equestria is an escapist fantasy, I refuse to believe they have landlords hording housing like we do here.
Oo La LA!
So what you're saying is that friendship is magic?
Solid slice of life story featuring three wonderfully voiced characters! Glad I got to read it with my account back online, and thank you for writing it!
There's a little tragedy wrapped up in there...
Debatable, given that she switched sides partway through... though one could argue that whichever side Tempest was on became the winning side.
This may be one of the best Rarity paragraphs I've ever read.
I'm not sure what to think of Best Pony or Big Mac paraphrasing Greg Universe.
Oh dear...
How would a pony even have kung-fu grip? A working jaw?
Magnificently done. It feels episodic in tone, and I mean that in the best way. Everyone involved was used to their fullest, even when they only had bit parts. Thank you for a great read.
10271116
haha I'm glad you read this; I was about to recommend it to you.
Amazing
Unfortunately...yep. Schools are definitely flawed, and I've heard they often become the pinnacle of "tribe mentality", with anyone not already part of a group being picked on or shunned by everyone else.
Heck, I got picked on in Year 6 by two girls and a female teacher because of my Aspergers Syndrome (mild autism), and then by a couple of boys in Years 7 and 8 in a completely different high school (two incidents of which resulted in my entire pencilcase going missing, and one of my Harry Potter books being ripped apart); back in both my primary and high school days, I read books during recess and lunch instead of playing sports or whatever other boys did, and I think I was an easy-crier back then too. Ergo, easy target.
Thankfully the bullying died down in Year 9, and became pretty much nonexistent for me in Years 10-12.
Anyway, punishing both the bully and the victim - zero tolerance - just makes it worse; punishing the victimised innocent just sends the message they might as well fight back, since the outcome won't change a bit anyway. Schools NEED to drop this stance.
I can see why a lot of schools adopt this flawed methodology - the bully's parents will likely complain if their "sweet angel" is punished, and that's a headache and a half - but it's not doing the kids themselves any favours, none at all.
Yes, they could have. Not to mention friendly nations and species.
I wonder if Discord would smirk at the irony...the karma...
About that...Sombra, Spoiled Rich, Diamond Tiara before Lost Mark, Luna, Babs Seed at first, Coloratura's manager (what's-his-name), Coco Pommel's former boss (what's-her-name)...yeah, some ponies are monsters.
This is a good story and I like it.
So I may have actually done exactly what Tempest suggested to my high school's bully. All the friendly adults in the world can't do crap when somebody 6 inches taller than you corners you on a street corner.
Only thing I did different was getting the adults on my side. Pounded 7 kinds of snot out of that fucko and since he was a repeat offender and I was a teacher's pet with 6 months of documented harrassment I walked away scot free and nobody ever touched me again.
That joke about Fluttershy (and sometimes Rainbow Dash) being into bondage sure has legs. Good use of it here, though.
Huh, Equestria really must be different, last time I went to the Post Office, there were a lot of logos.
“Great! We’ve needed some extra hooves here since Parcel Post got eaten by a cragodile. Don’t worry, he’s fine, he just got gnawed on a little and decided he wanted to move to the city for some reason.”
I suddenly see why Derpy was so eager to recruit.
“Maybe we can skip some of the details and you can tell her you got more confident, that you got away from the ponies who made fun of you, and that you found ponies who accept you and like you for who you are?”
“I’m not sure I’m comfortable lying that much to a foal, but I’ll do my best,” Tempest assured her.
Hah!
Seriously though, this a great mix of character work and comedy that really makes me feel for Tempest here.
It's the kind of one-shot that makes you want more but which can perfectly stand on its own, too.
By the way, forgot to mention it in my first comment, but
I see what you did there.
You know, I can't help agreeing that Tempest wasn't strictly wrong to suggest Dinky fight back. Being a chronic bully target when I was a kid, I feel like there's really no singular answer to bullying in general, so stories about it tend to fall flat for me. It's rare to see a story address it with as much nuance as this one did, and I appreciate that.
(I also agree that schools, especially here in the States, are incredibly unhelpful for bullying victims - they focus far too much on teaching avoidance and coping strategies and far too little on the actual source of the bullying in most cases, which is a kind of victim blaming in hindsight.)
I like that the Kluge Town Chili's has a fuckton of lone wolves sitting in the extra corners, and that she had to sit at the bar and watch whatever random sports show or sports game is on the TV (seriously, there's at least one TV that's tuned to sports. Regardless if it's playing basketball, football, fishing, or some obscure sport that's only played in Europe.
I initially misread that as mortgage song, and I was very confused on why that would be something to be happy about.
Aftercare is an important rule/duty for being the Dom in a BDSM relationship.
Also, post-coital cuddles are great (even if both of you are covered in sweat) (sometimes, naked cuddles are better than sex (intimacy is where it's at, yo!))
Tempest's frequent military references reminded me of Bubbles (the tall one) from Questionable Content
questionablecontent.net/comics/3670.png
On the whole, it was a great story.
10270935
Mortgages are probably still a thing, and banks can also evict you.
Not a lot of people have the $100,000 - $1,000,000+ sitting around or saved to pay for a house or a building for a business, and the land it's on, with cash.
“That just means you’re learning. When I first moved to Ponyville I had a really hard time adjusting. I mean, solid walls and floors? It’s practically begging for ponies to crash into them! I think Rainbow Dash has the same problem because she flies into things even more than I do.”
Ha ha! headcanon-building win!
I also quite enjoyed Tempest psyching herself up and barely mustering up the confidence
for her challenging new missionsfor each of her first several mail deliveries.In context: Dinky grumbled up at her, clearly wishing somepony would put Tempest through a cider press.
But really, there's no way for me to say everything I very much liked about this story without wasting too much screen space.
Yeah, when you write her.
Absolutely love the characterisation in this. Derpy as a Cinnamon roll and Tempest as a damaged veteran unable to turn off. Superb
Jesus Christ this is such an Underrated as fuck Fic
10 outta 10
Good Job
Fav
Adorable story. Reading it was a great pick-me-up on a day I really needed one.