• Member Since 15th May, 2018
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Enjoying a coffee in every South Jersey diner simultaneously


Octavia visits her childhood home for the last time.

Entry in the May 2020 Original Pairing Contest

Awesome reading by Nailah!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 9 )

Heh, this gave me some warm, Anne of Green Gables vibes. Very nicely done.

Ah, that's a high compliment!! Thank you so much :twilightsmile:

I really love it. Being someone who holds Rockhoof close to her heart as an imaginary friend like Octavia does in the story. It really does make me smile for sure.

Did you mean "Yes, of course I remembered"?? Because you kinda had an misspelling.

That was really nice piece. Good job

She wondered if any of her old frisbees were still stuck in those branches. It was strange to think about. They may as well have been ghosts hanging up there.

Very natural feeling here, and it elevates the old house into one that feels lived in rather effortlessly. Great stuff!

It was frustration. It was nostalgia. It was anger. And… it was sadness, too, she supposed. All of them blended up together and spat back out in a big, wet, disgusting glob of horrible things.

I don't think I've ever heard this particular emotion written and articulated before, though I've certainly felt it myself. It's extremely hard to describe, as it's a spiky ball of emotions with each tip being the height of some feeling, sadness, anger, longing, or many others. It was said before of Octavia feeling all her memories of the home bleeding back into her, or rather, flashing all back at once. This emotion is similar. Everything she's felt in that home growing up she was feeling again, and she's feeling it because it's in her hoof. As in, to let something go, you have to hold it, and then release. Marvelous work!

Octavia laughed, but it came out like a little cry. "You mean that I've ever known."

Again, I've not really seen this done, but by God if it isn't natural and extremely relatable!

I need to say that a lot of things in this fic were very understated and subtle, and it only added to an atmosphere that felt very lived in. Like this wasn't written in the sense that things were glossed over; there was a clear and even progression with everything touched upon gently enough to know it's there, but not hard enough to shatter it. Now, for the interaction between Octavia and Rockhoof? I've amazed! Never have I seen them paired in this regard, and I suspect no one will, and if they do, then never will they scratch the summit you've set this on. Their interactions were nothing short of incredible, and while at the start I was scratching my head as to their relationship, but by then end, I felt emotion rising in me. A testament to how well done it was.

This fic reminded me that stories don't always need to be grand, the stakes high, or the scale wide. They can be a small setting, with a small plot, but done in such a way as to build an ornate ship in a tiny bottle. You did amazingly here, and it's a shame that this diamond is in the rough, and how I wish that it would be freed from there and polished and put on display. However, know that I see this gem for what it is. You did superbly!

Beautiful, just beautiful.

Hey, I know it's been like. Genuinely forever since you posted this comment, but I want you to know that I return to it pretty frequently to read through it again and remind myself of this story.

I think it's been a good reminder for me, too. I have a tendency to get caught up in long projects which inevitably dwindle and fade before I can eke out any of the meaning or emotion I intended to include when I started. It can be frustrating, as an author, to feel like you've written something that means something, and yet have no one else be able to identify with that meaning, or to identify any meaning at all. Although, judging by your comment and your significant bibliography, I certainly don't have to tell you that :raritywink:

Anyway, this is all to say thank you. I appreciate the time you took to read this, to tease it apart, and to give me this message. This entry wasn't recognized in the contest, but it still stands strong as an accomplishment for me because of your response.

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