• Member Since 1st Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen April 7th

darf


pony-writer/pornographer looking for work. old stories undeleted. i'm sorry. Patreon here

Comments ( 16 )

Yee.

To quote from my blog about shipping choices and what they say about you:

RariLane - You believe that a single act of kindness is enough to set sail!

That title is a bit ambiguous...what exactly is the plot here?

I honestly don't know why this has downvotes.
Sure it may be different, but you are a master author that makes nearly every prompt work.

NBQ

I like big MUSCULAR STALLIONS AND I CANNOT LIE

Is this a reference? Isn't it?? :trollestia:
P.S.: I like marshmallow pone & I cannot lie! :raritywink:

10260269
we're wondering about that lately too. it feels like all of our stories get a massive amount of downvotes for not really any reason. maybe it is just because we used to be so popular? or it is because we always write weird shit. but it is still a big bummer. :/

10260793
I really liked the story Darf.

I think there's a big contingent of auto-downvoters (I've counted at least 9 that will auto DV any clopfic within the first hour or so), and you may have a few that are along for the ride.

Sorry to see it - hope you persevere and don't let it get you down.

10264250
you make a good point. it would be nice if there was some way to mitigate those auto-downvotes. seems a bit silly they're still around, or can't just click a button to not see clopfics? thank you for the kind words. <3

10264475
From seeing some of the /mlp/ threads related to the effort, it seems a more direct confrontation. They see clopfics as moral degradation worthy only of scorn, which just be purged in the aim of their completely undegenerate and genteel appreciation of platonic pony love.

Not sure if I disagree with them in that opinion, as I know my works are truly depraved sins for which I must rg forgiveness from a higher power, but I certainly disagree with their methods.

Alas, not much we can do.

Stick with it and you'll find those early downvotes begin to get swept away by your talent, Darf, and allow your stories to flourish in the front page for longer and longer as they deserve.

10265333
thank you very much for the kind words. it is just hard not to feel discouraged right now. we spend a lot of time and effort on our writing and it feels like throwing it into a giant, remorseless ocean sometimes.

<3 <3 <3

I'm almost mad that this story is so good, y'know? I took one look at the title and chapters and thought that it would be little more than a shitpost, but I'm glad to be wrong.

Hello! It's your friendly neighborhood contest judge DrySpell who's way out of his league here to review your story.

First off, the prose. You called it flowery in your description, and I assume you meant this as a bad thing, but after reading I think it's actually a positive. With Rarity as the main character, and with a large focus on description and narration, I can actually see her being this flowery.

Speaking of Rarity, (this is more of a theory than anything else, so take this next part with a grain of salt) I really enjoyed the idea of her hiding these debauched thoughts behind a normal pony facade. I say this to say, I was kind of disappointed that there wasn't much contrast between Rarity's depraved thoughts and her dignified pony persona other than what Rarity herself thinks. There's a part in the story where Rarity rubs one out in front of SB, only to send her away so she can fap in peace. I liked the struggle of her trying to appear normal here. Again, take this criticism with a grain of salt, cause I don't know if that was your intention. And, even if it was, I realize that that would have taken a lot more time to implement as a proper concept.

As for the actual clop, I enjoyed it! I found a few things to criticize, though. It's kinda short, which is self explanatory. I also found a few parts that I think might be run on sentences or maybe a few disconnected thoughts pulled together. For example:

Thunderlane was already hard, his cock felt gargantuan, he was rubbing his foreleg against her ass and cunt instead, Rarity shivered when she felt the head of his prick, he was sliding it into place, rubbing it in circles around her wet, juicy slit.

I only remember seeing two of these sentences, including the one above, so it's definitely a sparse problem.

That's about it! Again, I really enjoyed it, and I wish you luck in the contest!

I don't know how I feel about this one.

It's not bad, that's for certain, but do I like it? That question is a bit harder for me to answer. I'm not a fan of Rarity in the slightest (quite the opposite, really), and I kinda found her to be bordering on insufferable for a lot of this story. I don't think that's necessarily a shortcoming of yours, rather, just how my personality clashes with the character. I really like the idea of a prim, proper lady being aroused by watching (or participating in) physical violence, but I find myself a bit confused by some of her actions. If she has a thing for Thunderlane, and ostensibly wants him to win so she can fuck him, then why did she go out of her way to distract him during the fight? I'd understand if it was an incidental distraction, but she definitely makes it clear that it's her intention to grab Thunderlane's focus. It felt very odd to me.

Speaking of odd, your prose... This was very flowery. In some places, it read like someone got a word of the day calendar that they were really excited to use. That, and the excessive length of some of your sentences, feels less like artful storytelling and more like pretentious rambling (and if there's one thing I'm an expert on, it's pretentious rambling). I feel like you could've shaved a thousand or two words off if you were just a little more succinct.

The actual lewd parts of this story were quite enjoyable. A bit wordy, which I've touched on already, and I wish there was a bit more focus on the muscles (I sorta forgot this was even a contest entry while I was reading), but definitely not a bad little story at all.

Thank you for your participation in Muscle Mania 2020! We here on the judge's council wish you the best of luck!

I had kind of expected Thunderlane to lose because of Rarity. That she is distracting him and preventing him from giving it 100% in the fight.

Wish there were more fighting stories like this. Also wouldn't mind sex happening during the fight, but I know not everyone is into that. Sex fighting can be kinda fun though. Whether serious or playful, a little "struggle snuggle" can add spice to the sex.

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