The Distant Princess

by GMBlackjack

XVII - The Disheveled Spaces

All things considered, Euclidean geometry is boring. What bozo decided there were only three dimensions to space, huh? Why do I turn the corner three times and end up back where I started? Why does that always have to be the case?

Well, as it turns out, it doesn’t. That’s just the default state of the universe. If you’re a wizard or a particularly insane scientist, you won’t even have to work that hard to alter the normal properties of space. And I’m not talking about all that gravity distortion and time dilation nonsense, I’m talking about re-arranging space itself into mazes that boggle the mind. Turn left, you actually turned right. Exit a room, you’ll find that you appear in the room you just left, but the size of a mouse. And, of course, you can always make things bigger on the inside.

Then again you’d only do that if you watched too much British television. Probably.

Regardless, there is a drawback to these locations—they can mess up the flow of space something fierce. This is why most of them are sealed behind special doors or walls, so they can fuse with an orderly section of normal space. Blow that containment and, well, things could get scrambled any number of ways. When space is supposed to be twisted impossibly, messing with it might remove what little order it had.

~~~

Jack was aware of the color white and flying through the air. He twisted around so he was facing legs forward and curled into a ball. A rush of wind blew through the cracks in his armor, telling him something was close. Extending his legs in the nick of time, he entered a roll. Had the ground been sufficiently solid, he likely would have pulled off a perfect landing. As it was, the loose bits of metal under his feet shifted, forcing him to fall flat on his stomach.

At least he hadn’t suffered any injuries, as far as he could tell.

Slowly, the white light began to abate, revealing the scene he was in. He was lying in what appeared to be a trash heap of various odds and ends. Most were metallic, though he spotted a few random objects of glass and even some wood that hadn’t rotted away. Most of it was covered in dust, excepting the objects he had disturbed in his landing. Beyond the heap was a cavern of purple crystals that went off into nothingness.

The nothingness piqued his curiosity. Jumping off the pile of junk, he landed on a ledge that overlooked blackness. He stuck one of his swords out into the blackness and waved it around, finding no negative effects. Carefully, he leaned over the edge, looking down.

There was nothing. As far as he could tell, the opening he stood in was all there was. Looking around the edge, he found that the outer walls of the cavern didn't manifest in the blackness. The opening might well have been a two-dimensional painting in endless nothing.

“Wow, that’s a pretty sick view.”

Jack tensed, relaxing the second he recognized it was nothing more than Jake the dog. “Yes.”

Jake stretched all around the darkness. “Wow! There’s not even a back side to this thing! It’s just… black! I wonder what happens when I try to…”

Part of Jake’s arm appeared next to Jack, starting just at the edge of the portal. Soon, Jake’s head poked through as well, just floating there, separate from the rest of his body.

“Cool…” He stretched out further, making another loop around the darkness, popping into existence next to the samurai again. “I’m one dog, but in three parts! Hahahah!”

“Perhaps we shouldn’t mess with unstable space?” Jack suggested.

“Oh, fine…” Jake retracted himself until he was normal size. “Hey Finn! You gotta check this out!”

No response came.

“Finn?”

“I do not believe he or Rainbow are here,” the samurai said, returning to the cavern and the pile of junk.

“Oh.” Jake scratched his jowls. “Then let’s go find 'em before some crazy monster eats them.”

“Or they fall in the darkness.”

Jake let out a nervous laugh. “Yeah, that’d be bad.”

Jack walked along the edge of the cavern, finding another opening in the crystalline walls. As he traced his fingers along the edges, he moved forward, always on guard. Jake moved with nonchalance and pretend serenity, which was fine, as far as Jack was concerned. He could be observant enough for the both of them.

They soon came to another, unique pile of junk with an exit to the cave that led not to darkness, but to a realm made entirely of pink clouds. Carefully, the samurai tested to make sure the fluffy ground was solid. Finding it was, he left the cave entirely.

He was rather disappointed to find that there was nothing in the new area besides pink clouds. They stood on solid fluff while the sky above them was bright but overcast with similarly colored strata. There was nothing here, as far as he could tell.

He turned to go back. He saw Jake—he didn’t see the doorway.

“Would you look at that?” The dog smirked. “One-way door! You don’t see those too often!”

“No…” Jack said, immediately suspicious. Yet, taking another look around, he saw nothing at all.

“Hmm.” Jake traced a finger through the clouds and put it in his mouth. “Bleh, that’s just clouds. I wish it was cotton candy.”

For a split second, the ground turned into cotton candy, complete with sticky floss and cones. There was a garbling noise that made Jake cover his ears, and then they were gone.

“What the—?” The dog stared at the ground. “...I wish for cotton candy!”

A piece of cotton candy appeared in the air—followed quickly by a garbled noise and then nothing.

Jack furrowed his brow. “I wish for cotton candy.”

Nothing happened.

Jake clapped his paws together. “Hah! The wish machine only likes me!”

“The broken wish machine.”

“Eh, good point.”

“But even a broken wish machine might be of some use,” Jack admitted, tapping the side of his armor in thought. “Perhaps it can take us to Finn and Rainbow?”

“Hey, wishy clouds!” Jake called. “I wish that you’d teleport us to Finn!”

With a puff, the clouds were gone. They could see Finn, lying on shallow watery ground, rubbing his head. The noise returned and everything was clouds once again.

“Ugh, I need more time than that! Hey room, I wi—”

“Stop,” Jack said, holding up a hand. “We were not teleported.”

“Huh? Dude, he was right there!”

“That was fake. We did not leave this room. The clouds changed shape to become what you asked for.”

“They don’t stay that way very long…” Jake grunted. “I wish for a sandwich.” It appeared in his hands and vanished before he took a bite. “...This is ridiculous.”

“It appears to know where Finn is, though. I did not recognize where he was, did you?”

“Nope.”

“Then even if it can’t answer wishes, it can answer questions.” Jack tapped his helmet. “Ask it for a map of the temple.”

“It’ll just vanish, man.”

“We’re going to ask for it multiple times and memorize it. Then we’re going to ask it to show us where Finn is. Then we’ll ask for the secret of leaving this room.”

“Whoa… that’s clever. I wish I could think of things like that.” He coughed. “Well, time to get wishin’.”

~~~

Finn woke up to the sight of a rainbow-maned horse inches from his face.

“...I can feel the moisture in your breath,” Finn deadpanned.

“Sweet, you’re awake!” Rainbow grinned. “I was worried I was gonna have to smack you to get you up!”

Finn slowly sat up, rubbing his head. “I have a bad enough headache, thank you.”

“You’d survive.”

“I dunno, given those hooves of yours…”

“Which have cracked, need I remind you?” She flapped a little higher into the air, crossing her front hooves. “I’m not exactly in tip-top condition right now.”

Finn nodded in understanding. Standing up, he took inventory. He had his backpack, the Finn sword, and his hat. He was also soaking wet from sitting in the shallow pool of water for so long. Looking down, he discovered he was on top of a smooth, wet disc that produced an eternal waterfall that fell into the darkness below. “...Whoa.”

“Yeah, that’s what I said when I got here,” Rainbow said, flapping over to another wet disc. “There’s tons of these things. Water’s pure, as far as I can tell.”

“Weird…” Finn furrowed his brow. “Wait, how the flip did we get here?”

“Door exploded, space screamed, everything went flying. Jake probably shouldn’t have busted the door open.”

“Yeah. But what else were we gonna do, leave it?”

Rainbow shrugged noncommittally.

“Seen Jake or Jack?”

“Nope,” Rainbow said. “Just you.”

“Right…” Finn jumped off the watery platform and onto another one. “Then we’ve got to go find them.” He jumped again, stumbling as he landed this time.

“Oh for Celestia’s sake…” Rainbow rushed forward and hooked her hooves under Finn’s arms. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, but it was functional. She lifted him into the air and carried him over numerous platforms without any ill-advised jumping. They made quick progress, passing by several dozen waterfalls, including one that was upside-down. There was also a random pile of junk floating in midair, though they sped past that.

“You know, I thought flying would be cooler.”

“This isn’t flying,” Rainbow grunted. “This is lugging heavy cargo around…”

“I’m not that big.”

“Yeah, well… uh… hey look, a way out!”

Rainbow flew them through a doorway that took them away from the waterfalls and into a solid orange room. In the center of the ceiling was a heart-like structure made entirely of red crystal. Dozens of veins spiraled off the heart toward the walls of the room, but the vast majority were damaged or shattered. The only crystal artery in perfect condition was a massive one that led into a hole in the floor.

“Whoa… a heart!” Rainbow gasped, setting Finn down. “Are we inside a building or a creature?”

“It can be both,” Finn said. “I’ve seen it before. Though with more… squishy parts.”

“A building that was a creature? You’re joking.”

“Nah, it’s totally normal. I mean, we’re in one right now, aren’t we?”

“We don’t know that.”

“I know that there’s a crystal tube leading into the ground from a heart, it probably goes somewhere important!” He jumped onto the tendril and slid down it like a fire pole.

“Finn!”

Finn didn’t even try to slow down. He descended below the floor into absolute darkness. Above, there was only the tendril and a red circle that led to the heart’s room. Below, there was a dark red circle—one that presumably led to another room.

He arrived first. The main tendril entered the new room, but instead of dropping straight down it twisted to the side, adhering to the shape of the ceiling. Below him there was a circular room made of brick all centered around a pit of lava in the center not unlike a forge.

The air was hot and dry, though not so much so that Finn felt he was in danger. He dropped to the ground, wiping the sweat from his brow. “Was I right or was I right?”

Rainbow descended from the ceiling, flapping to his side. “Yeah, yeah, this looks important. Though empty.”

“Not entirely…” Finn noticed something green floating near the edge of the room. Approaching, he found it to be a magic bubble of some kind, enclosing a teardrop-shaped gemstone.

“Whoa… Treasure…” Rainbow said.

“I saw it first, it’s mine,” Finn said.

“Wh—hey! We’re gonna split the treasure!”

“And if we don’t find anything else, this is mine.” Finn crossed his arms. “Finders keepers!”

“If we find something else I’m gonna call finders keepers on it.”

“Uh, yeah, that’s the point.”

Rainbow stared at him blankly.

“Aaaaanyway…” Finn drew his sword and poked the bubble. It popped easily, dropping the blue gemstone into Finn’s outstretched hand. He moved to pocket it, but it started glowing long before he could do that.

The teardrop floated into the air, blue light flashing off of it in several directions. Slowly, a form composed of white energy began to take shape around the magic crystal, developing a bipedal form. A loose dress, swirling in a nonexistent breeze, manifested around the figure. Color surged into the figure, banishing the white light with a more solid appearance.

She—for it was clearly a she—was colored almost exclusively with blues from the tips of her shoes to the folds of her dress to the tufts of her short hair. Her dress was a darker blue than the rest of her, the same as her hair, and while it was simple in design it did have a single star at the base of her neck and a bow just above her back, where the gemstone itself sat.

Slowly, she sank, feet alighting on the hot ground with a soft sizzle. She opened and closed her hands a few times, feeling the air around her. With a deep sigh, she opened her eyes and took in the room, stopping only momentarily on Rainbow and Finn.

“Of course…” she said, frown deepening. “Of course she did…”

Finn cleared his throat, grabbing her attention. “Uh, hi there. I’m Finn the Human, and this is Rainbow Dash. We’re here to… rescue you?”

“...Rescue me?”

“Well, you were trapped in a bubble and you look like a princess. Are you a princess? A… gemstone Princess?”

“A Gem Princess…?” For the slightest moment, a smile came to her face as she let out an amused snort. “I’m... Lapis Lazuli.”

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

Huh. I wonder why Jake's compatible with Rose's room. Most curious.

And that's another cover character. Poor Lapis. This sort of thing tends to happen to her, doesn't it? Well, we should be able to get some answers on the fate of the other Gems... though first the group needs to find a way out of a subspace pocket with a burst seam. This could be tricky.

[Crack-Fic Casey]

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Peridot is the one who bubbled her, which raises questions...