Chapter 7
Little Macintosh and Pandora walked silently through the streets of Ponyville towards Lyra's house. The Sock of Inconvenience was clenched firmly in Mac's teeth, but the momentary jubilation that they felt upon grabbing the sock wore off quickly, replaced by dread and hopelessness. The train to Neighagra Falls hadn't just been the last for the night; it had been the last for the week, as repairs were going to put the train down for a few days after. As a Knight of the Order of the Apple, Little Mac wanted to say something to Pandora, tell her that everything was going to be alright, that the presence of one of the socks would help them. But for the first time on her quest, Little Mac couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. She couldn't see any way that they would come out ahead now.
"Tabala…"
Pandora's voice just made Mac shudder. "It's okay, Pandora. We're going to—"
"Why did they take her?" Pandora asked nopony in particular, shaking her head. "Why? The socks I understand, but why my daughter? What could they want with h-her, Macintosh?"
Before she could begin crying, Mac's chivalrous instincts kicked in. She pulled Pandora's hanging head up and looked her in the eyes.
"You listen to me, Pandora," she quietly said. "We are going to get your daughter back. No matter what happens with the socks or the Temple of the Hoodie, we will get her back. It's my duty as a Knight of the Order to save her. I promise."
"But what about the socks? We have to get to the Temple as quickly as possible, but there's no way to get there for several days."
"I… I don't…" Little Mac started to say, realizing she had no answer to the question. Looking up, she saw a familiar house, and beckoned towards it. "Come on, we need to get our rest. Lyra might have an idea."
Pandora slowly nodded her head as they reached the door, and Little Mac nudged it open. Lyra was trying to jam what looked like a sock with five extensions in it over her hoof when she looked up and saw them. Her eyes lit up as soon as she saw the sock.
"Whoa, you got one of the socks! Awesome!" she excitedly yelled, but she cocked her head to the side. "But wait, I thought you two were going to Neighagra."
"When we grabbed this, we missed the last train," Pandora said, sitting down. "There's… there's no other train for days."
Lyra's face fell, shaking her head. "No! T-there has to be some other train, right? Maybe close to Neighagra!"
"The engineer said all trains to and near Neighagra are closed for several days," Little Mac said. "I do not believe it's just a coincidence that this happened just when the Temple of the Hoodie retrieves three of the four socks. They are about to make their move. I suspect Woona's reincarnation is imminent."
Little Mac fell back on her haunches as Lyra walked over to Pandora, who was holding back tears and shivering. Even as Lyra patted her on the back, Pandora couldn't shake the fear from her head. "They have the socks, they have Tabala… There's nothing we can do, Macintosh. They won."
"Don't say that!"
"We have absolutely no way to get to Neighagra now, much less a way to get there by tomorrow! They're probably preparing to summon Woona right now. It's impossible, Little Mac. We've lost. There's no way that we can get there in time."
Little Mac stomped one of her hooves into the ground. "There has to be! There has to be some way that we can stop this! Don't give up now, Pandora!"
"Why? We missed the train to grab that stupid sock! There's no way—"
"There's a way."
Little Macintosh and Pandora stopped their augment and turned. Lyra was standing next to them, her eyes wide as saucers. Her lips were curled into an insane smile, one that both gave Little Mac hope and goosebumps at the same time. Pandora was the first to speak.
"Lyra?"
"There's a way. " Lyra repeated, her voice getting louder before she jumped up and sprinted out of the room. "There's a way!!"
Without another word, Lyra rushed out of the room, and out the back door of the house. Pandora and Little Mac glanced at each other, then followed her out. As they got to the back of the house, they were baffled to find Lyra grabbing at a patch of grass with her teeth. Finally getting a firm grip she pulled back, revealing a giant hole in the ground. She rushed over to the side of her house and flipped down a panel revealing a large crank, and started to turn it furiously, a twinkle in her eye. Little Mac and Pandora stared at her.
Pandora stepped forward. "Lyra, what are you—"
"I've been working on this in my spare time for over five years!" Lyra excitedly screamed, turning the crank more and more with a smile on her face. "I always saw ponies down at Sweet Apple Acres pulling carts behind them, but it was always so inefficient. It started as just tinkering around, seeing if I could build a motorized cart. I got help from local mechanics, some propulsion specialists in Ponyville, and a few weird unicorns. It started as just a little project to tinker with, but the more that we've worked on it, the faster it's become. I figured it'd make me faster than any bipedal creature in Equestria, but after five years, it's faster than anything in Equestria! I don't use it much, but last time I did, got it to go nearly ninety miles per hour!"
Pandora and Little Mac stared at each other in shock as a large, tarp-covered object rose up from the ground. Pandora turned back to Lyra. "Ninety miles per hour? That's faster than any train in Equestria! Without stopping, we could get to Neighagra Falls within the hour! We might have a chance to stop the Temple of the Hoodie before Woona can do anything!"
Pandora galloped back into the house to grab supplies, just as Lyra backed away from the crank and took hold of the tarp covering her invention. She pulled it off, and Little Mac's eyes widened to see what was contained underneath. A cart with four wheels stood near to the ground, but a second compartment at the front of the cart intrigued him. A large char with several switches and levers attached stood at the front, and two large wooden pedals protruded from the floor in front of it, along with a large captain's wheel. Little Mac stared in wonder, but her eyes widened even further when she noticed the contraption attached to the back of it. It was a large metallic square with gears and pipes jutting out all directions, but something about it looked very… familiar.
"Where did you get the deign for this engine?"
Lyra beamed as she reached into a compartment on the side of the cart and put a pair of goggles on her head. "Got the design from those ponies who tried to take over Sweet Apple Acres. Forget their names, though. Skip and Zip, maybe?"
Little Mac grumbled to herself upon hearing the information, but shook the apprehension out of her head in the name of the mission. She jumped onto the back of the cart just as Pandora came rushing back out with a saddle bag, tossing it into the cart and jumping on next to Little Mac.
Lyra leapt into the large chair at the front of the cart and began pulling at various levers and switches, causing the engine in the back to start rumbling. Pandora and Little Mac both wrapped their hooves around the sides of the cart, as Lyra looked back with a smile on her face.
"Hold on, the DeLyraan isn't exactly the smoothest ride out there."
Little Mac blinked. "The what?"
Before Little Mac could ask a followup, Lyra jammed her hoof down on the large pedal, and the cart took off down the Equestrian landscape. Mac and Pandora held on for their lives as the cart bobbed and weaved through the trees, Lyra twisting the wheel back and forth and occasionally turning a dial or jamming another switch to the side. When the ride had finally gotten a bit less bumpy, Pandora peeked over the front, staring at the trees and landscape flying by her.
"What did you bring with?" Little Mac asked.
"I just threw the Sock of Inconvenience into the nearest bag I could find," Pandora replied. "I'm not sure what else is in there."
Little Mac leaned forward. "Okay… I guess we didn't have much time to prepare anyway."
"I'm sorry," Pandora said, dropping back into the cart and looking at Little Mac. "I wanted to pack more, but I rushed. As soon as I thought about the socks, and about Taba—" Pandora had only gotten through half of her daughters name when she sniffled, turning her head away and staring back at the world passing by her. Little Mac patted her on the back, and Pandora tried to compose herself. "Why? W-why did they take her? She h-had nothing to do with any of this."
"Don't worry, Pandora. I'm sure they only took her so she could open the case to the socks. There can't be another reason," Little Mac said. From the front seat, even over the roar of the engine, she heard a nervous sigh. The cart slowed down a bit, and Lyra turned her head to look back at them.
"Okay, listen. I didn't want to say anything, but you have to know the truth. When I was next in line for the Omnihoodie, some of the elders of the Temple kept telling me to be on the look out for 'one of pureness.' They never elaborated, they just said that if I found one, I should let them know. They said that young fillies would be 'perfect vessels.' That was sorta a big clue that I wanted out of the Temple…"
Lyra trailed off, unsure of how to continue, then turned back to the path ahead. Little Mac had no idea what to say to Pandora, who was staring blankly over the side of the cart, shivering. Mac reached over and patted her on the shoulder, and Pandora turned to her companion.
"Don't you worry," Mac said. "We're going to get Tabala back, and she's going to be safe. I promise."
Pandora tried to put on a reassured smile, but her shivering body betrayed her. The rest of the ride took place in silence, both Pandora and Little Mac staring ahead at the foreboding waterfall slowly growing in the distance. As they came closer to the falls, Lyra slowed the vehicle down and drifted to the side, taking cover behind a large patch of trees and gradually coming to a stop. Turning the cart off, Lyra turned around to look at the two riders.
"Okay, we're here. I'll stay out here waiting for you."
Pandora turned her head. "Are you sure that's safe?"
"I'll be fine, I'm good at blending into the background," Lyra said with a smirk, then pointed over to the cliff. "You just have to swim over the cliff while wearing a hoodie, and you'll gain access. Most likely they'll have another identification test just in case. Whatever they ask you, respond with the phrase 'Obsidian, my brother,' and they'll let you in. I'm going to assume that if there's something going on, it'll take place in the main chamber of the temple. Just follow the first path you find, you'll go straight there."
Pandora and Little Mac nodded, putting their hoodies on. Little Mac threw the saddle bag over her back as Pandora took a few steps towards the falls, but was stopped when Lyra jumped at her and wrapped her hooves around Pandora from the side in a hug.
"Be careful, sis," Lyra quietly said, letting go of the hug and looking into Pandora's eyes.
Pandora smiled back at her sister, then turned and nodded at Little Mac. Mac nodded back, and the two took off into the trees, towards Neighagra Falls. After a few minutes of running, they both slowed their pace as they came to the edge of the water. Other than the loud rushing of the waterfall, the top of Neighagra falls was quite peaceful, the river being surrounded by gatherings of rocks and trees. Pandora and Little Mac didn't notice any of it, though, as they trotted quietly along the side of the river, stopping a few meters away from the edge of the waterfall.
Little Mac stepped forward and very carefully peeked over the edge of the cliff. There was nothing out of the ordinary—just the furious rushing of water straight down—but if Lyra was correct, going over the edge while wearing a hoodie would somehow result in gaining access to the headquarters of the Temple of the Hoodie. Staring over the edge, it occurred to Little Macintosh that she had reached the apex of her quest for Princess Luna to retrieve the socks, but that the stakes were higher than even the princess could have anticipated.
Little Mac looked over at Pandora, who was pulling the hoodie over her head. "Are you ready? Once we go over the waterfall, there's no turning back."
Pandora slowly nodded her head, and jumped into the water. Little Mac followed, and the two remained floating as they approached the falls. They shared one last, pensive glance before Little Mac dunked her head underwater, just as she felt herself go over the edge of the cliff.
Almost immediately, Little Mac flailed her limbs as she plummeted. In a panic, she opened her mouth, and water rushed in, leaving her gasping for a last breath. For a split second she saw Pandora falling next to her, but in another instant water filled her vision and she saw nothing. For a few moments, Little Mac wondered if they had done something wrong, if the hoodies weren't working, but suddenly above the roar of the waterfall she heard a mechanical whirring, and her body hit a large, soft slope. Her body shot down the slope and the world went dark for a few moments, before light shot through her vision again and she plummeted off the slide and down into a cavern, landing on a large mattress. She shook her head out and pulled the hood over her head just as Pandora landed next to her.
"Are you okay?" Little Mac asked. Pandora opened her mouth, but closed it again immediately as she stared behind her companion. Mac turned around to find a third pony standing there, a dark stallion wearing a long black hoodie. He stared at the two of them as they stood up and faced him, before he finally spoke.
"What is the color of hoodie?"
Pandora gathered her strength and took a long breath. "Obsidian, my brother."
The pony nodded. "Come along, the ceremony is nigh."
The unknown pony turned and beckoned them down a long, rocky tunnel. Pandora shot Little Mac a nervous glance, and the two followed him, looking at the temple around them. Carvings of a twisted Alicorn adorned the walls, along with four long black drapes, each one depicting a different sock. As they walked, several more ponies in hoodies joined them, and Pandora and Little Mac leaned their heads down, trying as best as they could to blend in.
"Let's stay in the back and remain inconspicuous," Little Mac whispered. "We'll be there soon. I'm sure wherever this ceremony is taking place, Tabala and the socks are there."
Pandora nodded as the two turned a corner with the group. She slowed down to move to the back of the line, and Little Mac shifted to the side. As she did, Little Mac's hoodie got caught on a jagged rock. She struggled with it and jumped backwards as the hoodie got tangled up, finally pulling it away. As she did, a gasp from one of the hooded ponies in the group stopped her dead in her tracks.
"That Cutie Mark... she's a Knight of the Order of the Apple!!"
Little Mac looked behind her to see that the hoodie had been pulled up, her apple Cutie Mark exposed. She instinctively backed up towards the wall as Pandora ran to her side, and the small group of assembled ponies all turned to them, approaching menacingly. A few steps later, Little Mac and Pandora were backed up against the wall, now surrounded by a half dozen angry members of the Temple of the Hoodie.
"...What do we do?" Pandora quietly asked, her back pressing up against the rocky wall. Little Mac took a long breath, closing her eyes.
"We do this the ugly way," Little Mac replied, then opened her eyes up again and looked at the nearest hooded pony. "Sorry about this."
With that, Little Mac leapt forward and drove her front hoof into the face of one of the ponies, dropping him down to the ground instantly. Another of the ponies jumped forward at her, but Little Mac dodged out of the way and swung her back leg, tripping the pony up. Before the second pony could stand up, Little Mac turned around and grasped the pony by the back legs, swinging him around and throwing him into another of the ponies. She shook her head out to regain her equilibrium, just in time to see another pony charging at her, tackling her into the wall. The pony swung his front hoof a few times, Little Mac dodging each punch, until Pandora suddenly jumped onto the pony's back and wrapped her hooves around his head. The pony stumbled back, and Little Mac took the chance to turn around and crouch down, then swing her legs back with a mighty buck to the chin just as Pandora let go and dropped off of the pony. The pony crumpled down into a heap on the ground, and Pandora and Mac stood next to each other, facing off with the remaining two ponies.
The members of the Temple of the Hoodie nodded at each other, then both reached back and grabbed long stalagmites, breaking them off the floor and brandishing them as they approached, separating Pandora and Mac. One of them thrust the stalagmite at Little Mac's legs, but Macintosh jumped into the air over it, then came down with all four hooves on the rock, shattering it into several pieces. The hooded pony looked in panic at the remains of the stalagmite for a few moments, then threw what was left of it aside and charged, grabbing Little Mac around the head. Macintosh twisted her body and escaped the clutch, then spun around and lifted her right hoof, driving it into the side of the pony's head. The pony wobbled back and forth, and Little Mac punctuated it with an upwards swing of her front hoof, sending the pony toppling back to the ground.
Little Mac turned around, and saw Pandora running away from the other pony, who was wildly swinging the stalagmite. Little Mac jumped forward to stop him, just as Pandora took a sharp left and ran forward, straight towards a wall. The hoodie turned and followed her at full speed, with Mac rushing behind them to try to catch up. Just as Little Mac was prepared to leap forward, Pandora jumped up into the air and planted her back hooves on the wall in front of her, pushing off and spinning in mid-air into a kick to the side of the head of the pony, who immediately fell to the ground, completely unconscious. Little Mac came to a skidding halt, staring down at the pony before looking up at Pandora, who just smirked.
"What? A mare's gotta know how to protect herself," she said.
"True, but a kick like that? It would make Manea White blush," Little Mac responded, then looked down at the six slowly recovering ponies on the ground. "Let's go before they remember where they are."
Pulling the hoodies over their heads again, Little Mac and Pandora took off deeper into the cavernous temple. It only took a minute of running for them to hear voices coming from deeper in the cave, and they slowed their pace down as they came to an opening in the temple wall. With a quick nod of her head, Little Mac walked through the opening, with Pandora right behind her, and they found themselves on the second level of a massive room. They were alone on the second floor, but the main level of the room had at least fifty ponies, all dressed in matching hoodies, surrounding a central slab of rock, covered by a black sheet. Standing behind the rock was a pony wearing a much more elaborate and elegant than the others, pacing back and forth has he spoke with a voice filled with grandeur.
"The time is upon us, my hooded brothers!" the pony yelled. "We now possess three of the Socks of Improbability, meaning the fourth shall present itself soon. Not only did we find two more of the socks, but in doing so, we were able to find one of pureness! The time of Woona is nigh, and this is her vessel!"
With loud cheers from the assembled ponies, the leader reached a hoof down and pulled the sheet off. On the slab were the three Socks of Improbability, each one in one corner of the slab. There were four pegs driven into the rock, each one with rope tied between them and the limbs of a small filly, struggling to escape her bonds.
"Taba—" Pandora started to yell in panic, but Little Mac reached over and put a hoof over her mouth, silencing her. Pandora held her mouth closed tightly as Tabala frantically looked around at the ponies around her.
"You jerks are gonna get it!" Tabala yelled, pulling at the ropes to no avail. "I know somepony who's gonna stop you!"
The long-robed pony just laughed. "Oh, I highly doubt that, my little pony. Our moment is now, and nopony can stop us. With the three socks assembled, the fourth will be naturally drawn to them. When that happens, Woona will make her glorious return, and then Equestria will be ours!"
From the upper level, Little Macintosh surveyed the scene. There was no way she and Pandora would be able to subdue the multitude of ponies assembled, but their goal was now in plain sight, tempting them. Little Mac carefully thought about the plan of attack, but her thoughts were derailed when she felt a sharp tugging at her back. She turned her head, and to her shock, the saddlebag containing the Sock of Inconvenience was pulling at her, slowly floating into the air. A glow came from the bag, and when Mac looked back at the slab, the three other socks were glowing as well. One of the ponies near the front of the group stepped forward.
"Saddleazar! Look!"
The long-robed pony turned to stare at the three socks, stepping forward and carefully examining them. "Hrm... that would mean that the fourth sock is close! Closer than any of us could have anticipated!"
As the pony looked around, the tugging on Little Mac's saddle bag became stronger and stronger. The bag untied itself, and Little Mac reached up to grab it, tying the sleeve of her hoodie around it. She tried to pull it down, but with one mighty tug, the saddle bag burst away, tearing the entire hoodie off of Little Mac in the process. The front of the saddle bag opened and the Sock of Inconvenience floated out, the bag falling back to the ground next to Little Mac. The commotion was enough to draw the attention of the Temple members, who all stared up. The pony at the front smiled as he stared at the floating sock, then turned to look at Little Macintosh, his face curling into a sneer.
"That Cutie Mark... Who are you?"
Little Mac stood up strong, stepping forward. "Give me your name, and I shall give you mine."
The pony laughed. "My, you have guts. My name is Saddleazar, and I am the 39th Omnihoodie of the Temple of the Hoodie. I will proudly stand at the right hoof of Woona when she returns to rule over all of Equestria!"
"My name is Bi—" Little Mac stopped herself, shaking her head. "My name is Little Macintosh, and I'm here to retrieve the socks and return them to their rightful owner."
Saddleazar shook his head. "Yours is an impossible task. The socks are in our possession. In but a few short minutes, Woona will make her return!"
"So that's your plan? To let yourself become a slave to Woona, to give her your body as a vessel?" Little Mac replied, only to be responded to with a cruel laugh.
"You think you know the truth of the Omnihoodie? You fool. The Omnihoodie's goal is not to become Woona forever… It is to act as Woona's transfer to a permanent host."
Little Mac stared at Saddleazar, then down at Tabala. A chill shot through her spine as she sputtered the word out. "Transfer?"
"Woona's spirit will take over the body of one of pureness. Her strength will destroy the worthless body, rebuilding it into her true, magnificent form. I am not the final vessel for Woona... I am merely her proud servant."
Pandora couldn't take it anymore. She pulled the hood off her head and leaned over the edge of the second floor. "Tabala!"
The filly's face froze, and she tilted her head towards them, her eyes filled with tears. "Mommy?!"
"It's okay, Tabala!" Pandora shouted. "We're going to rescue you!"
"Yeah!" Little Mac added. "Don't worry!"
Saddleazar scoffed. "Another Apple, come to save the day and take the socks? Pathetic. Why does this clan make such an effort to protect the socks? Years ago when we raided the temple, that meddling stallion got in our way, and now you?"
Little Mac opened her mouth to speak, but Saddleazar's words stopped her. She thought about what he had said—the Apple clan had protected the socks before, specifically when they had been stolen years ago—and her eyes widened.
"No... m-my father? He protected the socks?!"
With a chuckle, Saddleazar nodded. "Oh, are you the daughter of the pony who kept the socks safe all those years ago? How sweet." He laughed harder. "That stallion made things quite difficult for us, you know. We believed that getting the socks would be as simple as walking into the temple, and yet somehow that stallion found out about it and was there, waiting for us. He put up quite a defense, you know. When it became clear he was losing, he used the power of the Sock of Zero to teleport the socks to random points in Equestria. If it wasn't for that, Woona would have been summoned ages ago."
Little Mac's head lowered further, her teeth clenched. "What did you do to him?"
Saddleazar smiled. "Wouldn't you like to know? But enough talk, I tire of this. It is time for the Temple of the Hoodie to take its rightful place at the top of the New Woonar Order!"
Saddleazar reached down with a crazed look in his eye, grabbing the Sock of Zero and the Sock of Convenience. Before Little Mac could react, Saddleazar jammed his hoof into the first sock, and less than a second later, a loud boom shot through the chamber. Little Mac and Pandora crouched down to keep themselves sturdy, but when Saddleazar placed the second on his other hoof, a shockwave blasted outward that sent Little Mac and Pandora crashing back into the wall. As they pushed forward again, Saddleazar stood on his hind legs, holding his front hooves in the air and laughing as a dark, swirling cloud formed at the top of the chamber. It flashed a deep purple several times as Saddleazar pointed to the floating Sock of Inconvenience.
"Final Sock!" he yelled, his voice now augmented by a second voice, one full of hate. "Come to me! Together we shall transfer Woona into her new vessel, and Equestria will belong to the Temple of the Hoodie!"
Pandora seemed frozen in place, unable to will herself to move as the Sock of Inconvenience began to slowly float downwards towards Saddleazar, who was reaching down to pick up the third sock. For the first time since her quest began, Little Macintosh was truly scared: she had absolutely no idea how to stop the transformation, and it appeared that Saddleazar, partially merged with Woona, was far too powerful for her to defeat on her own. As she frantically looked around, she saw the Sock of Inconvenience floating downwards, now barely within reach. Little Mac turned down to the saddle bag on the ground and jammed her hooves into it.
"Please, please let there be something useful in here…" she muttered, but to her surprise, she only felt one object inside, bundled up and crammed at the end of the bag. She quickly pulled it out and unfurled it, staring at it in her hooves.
A towel.
"You have got to be kidding me…"
Without another moment to think, Little Mac wrapped each end of the towel around her hooves, then turned around and leapt into the air, hooking the towel around the Sock of Inconvenience. She gave a tug downwards, but the sock remained on its steady path downwards, dragging Little Mac off the balcony and over the many members of the Temple of the Hoodie. Saddleazar just laughed and reached down for the third sock, as Little Mac began tugging furiously at both sides of the towel, able to make the sock rotate and shake but not change its path towards the center of the room. Little Mac stared at the sock, rapidly shifting her weight over and over to try to do something, anything.
The sock suddenly slowed down, and Little Mac could swear that it turned a deeper shade of green. The front of the sock opened up, and after a few seconds, a loud Putewie rang out as it spit a single object out. The object fell and bounced against the floor, coming to a stop at the feet of Saddleazar. He momentarily stopped reaching for the third sock, bending down and examining the object.
"Is that… a banana?"
Little Mac stared in shock, then looked back up at the sock, which had begun to vibrate. "Oh, no…"
Before Little Mac could react, the mouth of the sock expanded, and proceeded to spit out thousands upon thousands of bananas. The members of the Temple of the Hoodie were pelted with the sudden onslaught of fruit, scrambling around each other as the floor rapidly became completely covered with bananas. Pandora started to climb down from the balcony as Saddleazar panicked at the front of the room.
"They're just bananas, you idiots! Shove them out of the way and—" he began, but he was stopped when a banana bounced into his mouth. As he hacked and tried to recover his breath and the potassium paroxysm continued, Little Macintosh finally saw her opening. She unhooked the towel from the and dropped down, landing with a soft squish on the bananas that now covered every inch of the floor, and she sprinted towards the still-recovering Saddleazar, passing by Pandora as she was frantically untying the ropes that held her daughter down. Little Mac shoved through the members of the Temple, all confused and trying to deal with the banana barrage, and managed to reach Saddleazar, who had only just recovered from the banana hitting his throat. He turned around, just in time to get a sharp punch to the side of the head from Little Mac. Even with Wonna's power coursing through him, the punch was enough to stumble Saddleazar back, and Little Mac leapt forward, grasping both of Saddleazar's hooves and tearing the socks off.
Another shockwave shot out of Saddleazar as the cloud above him dissipated almost instantaneously, and he shot back, his head slamming against the wall. He slumped down as Little Macintosh turned and grabbed the third sock from the slab, bundling it together with the first two. As he did, the fourth sock stopped its track and fell straight down, this time caught by the back hoof of Pandora, who had just finished untying Tabala from the slab. She threw her daughter onto her back as Little Macintosh grabbed the fourth sock, scrunching it in with the other three and wrapping them in the towel.
"We've got the socks, let's go!!" Macintosh yelled, clutching the towel betwixt her teeth and leaping over the sea of bananas towards the only other entrance to the room she could find. Pandora lifted a slightly woozy Tabala up onto her back and galloped off after, and they ran out of the banana-filled room.
Saddleazar, still clutching his head, pointed at them. "Grab them! They have the socks!"
Little Mac and Pandora raced through the cavern hearing the hoof steps of members of the Temple behind them. As the caves became more numerous, Little Mac looked around wherever she could, unsure of which path to take. Just when she thought that they were going to loop around, her ears perked up as she heard a faint sound.
"Hurry!" Little Mac yelled, turning right. "I hear water this way. We must be near an exit near the waterfall!"
They continued galloping towards the sound of rushing water, twisting and turning through the cavernous temple as the hoof steps behind them started to grow louder. With one more turn to the right, Little Mac's heart skipped a beat as she saw an opening in the cave wall, water falling past it, and the moon illuminating the Equestrian sky. She tossed the bundled towel to Pandora.
"Go find Lyra and get the cart ready."
"What are you going to do?" Pandora asked.
"Stop them from following us!"
Pandora nodded and jumped through the opening, landing on the rocky ground and rushing towards the forest as Little Mac came to a screeching halt near the entrance. In the distance she could see members of the Temple of the Hoodie rushing towards her, and she turned, her back facing the side wall.
"Come on, buckin' legs, don't fail me now." she said to herself, crouching down. As the hooded ponies raced towards her, she reared back and threw her legs back, bucking the side of the wall with a mighty kick that would make any member of the Apple family blush. A crack formed in the wall and quickly raced up to the ceiling, just as the Temple of the Hoodie neared. Just as they were threatening to bear down on Little Macintosh, the ceiling and wall crumbled, sending rocks tumbling down everywhere. The temple members jumped back as rocks slammed in front of them faster and faster, until the entire cave, floor to ceiling, was blocked off by rocks. Little Mac could hear ponies desperately digging through the rocks, so she turned to the other side of the wall and gave it a big buck for good measure, sending even more rocks down from the ceiling and thickening the barrier. Little Mac smiled and ran out the entrance, now seeing Lyra's cart in the distance, racing towards her.
---
As Lyra maneuvered the cart through trees, Little Macintosh looked back at the now distant image of Neighagra Falls There were no signs of the Temple of the Hoodie following them, nor were there any members hiding in the trees. She turned around and grabbed the towel, holding her breath as she unfurled it. Carefully peeking inside, she saw all four of the socks bundled together neatly in the center, and she let out a long sigh of relief. She folded the towel back up, then looked upwards to the starry sky.
"It's over. We did—"
Before she could continue, she was suddenly tackled down to the floor of the cart by Tabala, who was hanging around her neck with a hug.
"Wow, Macintosh! That was totally awesome! You showed and were all 'Die, monster!' to that weird guy, and he was all "No! I'm going to put this pony inside this other pony!" But then you shot bananas at him and got the socks!" Tabala squeaked, jumping up and down while still grasping Little Mac's neck. "Also you're a girl now which is totally awesome too!"
Little Mac laughed. "Thanks, Tabala, but I think there's somepony else you should be thanking."
Tabala let go of Little Mac and turned around, but before she could say anything, Pandora grabbed her daughter and held her tightly in a hug, nuzzling her cheek. Tabala hugged her mother back, and Little Mac could do nothing but smile as she watched the mom and daughter embrace. They were finally separated when the cart shook violently from a bump in the road, and Pandora turned to Little Mac.
"I... I want to thank you for helping me. I don't think I would have been able to get back Tabala without you."
"Think nothing of it," Mac responded, smiling again. "It's my duty as a Knight of the Order of the Apple. I owe you my thanks as well, Pandora. I wouldn't have been able to complete my mission without you and Tabala."
"Well, thank you," Pandora said. "I hope that you find a way to turn back to a stallion. You shouldn't have to live the rest of your life as another gender." She paused, then blushed slightly. "Plus, you're kinda cute."
Little Mac blushed as well, but was jolted out of her thoughts by the cart shaking violently again. "Lyra," she said, turning to the driver. "Any chance you can be a bit more careful? The Temple isn't going to be able to catch us."
"I'm being as careful as I can!" Lyra yelled, turning to look at her passengers. "I don't get why there's so much turbulence. The road is pre—" Lyra stopped mid-sentence and the color drained from her face. Pandora, Tabala, and Little Mac stared at her, then slowly turned around, their own eyes widening in shock.
A black, swirling vortex seemed to be floating up from underneath the cart. It hovered behind them, growing outwards until a hoof-like appendage made of the dark vortex itself shot out and slammed into the cart, rocking it again. They struggled to keep their balance in the cart as another appendage shot out, this time with glowing eyes and a mouth, screeching.
Lyra's eyes widened. "Oh no... That's Woona! Did the Omnihoodie put the socks on?!"
Dodging a strike from the cloud, Little Mac grabbed Pandora and Tabala and pushed them out of reach. "Yes, but only two of them! He never finished the summoning!" Little Mac yelled as the vortex pounded on the car again.
"That's not good. Two of the socks on means she was summoned from the ether, but without a vessel to attach herself to, her remnant psyche is still here!" Lyra yelled, speeding up the cart. "I have a feeling she wants the socks!"
Lyra twisted the wheel to the right, sending the cart into a sharp curve and momentarily throwing the vortex to the side, but it quickly caught up with the cart. It pounded a ghostly hoof on the back, and Little Macintosh saw her opening, turning around and throwing her legs back with a buck... But all it did was cause her to lose her balance, as her hooves went straight through the cloud. Little Mac scrambled to the back of the cart as Woona's hoof slammed down on the back again.
"What do we do? How do we stop her?" Pandora yelled, tightly hugging a panicking Tabala.
"I don't know!" Lyra yelled back. "She's not a physical entity right now! The only thing that's even holding her in existence right now are the socks!"
Little Macintosh stared at Woona's spirit, which continued to pound on the back of the cart. Mac stared at the swirling vortex, then down at the towel that sat bundled up next to her. Without another thought, she unfolded it quickly and grabbed one of the socks.
Pandora stared in shock at her. "What are you doing?!"
"If the socks are the only thing that are holding her to the world, then there's only one way to hurt her!" Little Mac said. With a deep breath, she jammed the sock over her right front hoof.
Almost immediately, Little Mac's limb felt like it was going to be torn apart from the inside. Her body was on fire and frozen solid at once, and a thousand garbled voices were having seemingly random conversations in her head. Despite everything, she still managed to keep her sense about her, shakily standing up. Woona pounded a black hoof on the cart again, and this time Mac responded by swinging the sock-adorned hoof into the appendage.
This time, contact was made. There was a cracking sound and a flash of light as Woona screamed in pain, jerking the hoof back and losing distance from the cart. Mac took deep breaths, crouching down, but Woona returned to the back of the cart seconds later, again slamming hooves into it. Mac's teeth chattered a she stared at Woona, then shook her head and jumped back over to the socks. She pulled the Sock of Zero onto her left hoof, again sending a mighty shockwave across the cart and momentarily freezing Mac in place as she tried to fight through the swirling cacophony of sounds now blaring in her head, and the colorful hallucinations dancing in her eyes.
Before Mac could step forward, Woona leaned down over the cart, her mouth only inches away from Pandora and Tabala, who were huddled together in fear. Woona let out a scream that shook the entire cart, and Mac panicked, grabbing the other two socks. There was a half-second of apprehension as she stared at them, but when she saw the black form of Woona in front of her, threatening Pandora and Tabala, she shook the fear out of her head, and pulled the final two socks over her back limbs.
Little Mac could no longer determine reality from hallucinations, or even what was happening. Her body was wracked with pain, as if each individual cell was trying to teleport to a different place in Equestria. Her sight was completely clouded with colors that couldn't be described and images that couldn't possibly exist, while the deafening roar of voices, music, and sounds that are never heard was threatening to drive her mad. She collapsed against the side of the cart, unable to handle the improbable world that she had seemingly entered, forgetting who she was, where she was, or anything that had happened ever.
"Can't... Have to remove..." she thought to herself over the roar, and reached one shaking hoof towards the other in an attempt to bring herself back. But as she did, a single sound cut through everything: Tabala screaming. For a moment, she could see through the impossibility, and saw Woona's face right in front of Pandora and Tabala, reaching for them.
In that brief moment, Little Mac gained clarity again.
Little Mac pushed herself back to a standing position, then crouched down. Woona turned towards her, staring down at her hooves.
"GiVe Me ThOsE sOcKs!!"
Little Mac pushed off the cart as hard as she could, launching herself into the air and curling her hooves into her body. She propelled forward and began to come down over Woona's head. Woona looked up in shock, and Little Mac stared down at her as she dropped back down.
"Nnnnope!"
With that, she unfurled her legs as she fell, coming down on Woona's head with all four socked hooves.
There was a boom that seemed to echo throughout all of Equestria. Woona screeched in pain as her head imploded, as Little Macintosh was launched out of the cart by the subsequent shockwave. As she flew, she saw Woona's body crumpling in on itself and disappearing in a dark flash, just as she felt herself splash down into thick water.
Then, everything went white.
---
"Well you're the one who spent the most time with her! You wake her up."
"No way! Besides, half the time I was with her, she was a he."
"Does that change anything?"
"It means she visited Cider Space, and confronted Woona. More than a mere pony, he or she is the alpha. Able to fight through that which is impenetrable. Resolve strong enough to withstand that which is unstoppable. He who—"
"You're not helping anything with your prose, Zero!"
Little Macintosh opened her eyes to find herself floating in the middle of nowhere. Everything was white around her, and her mind was in a haze. After a few seconds she looked up, and saw four lights floating above her, each one a different color.
"Where am I?" she muttered to herself. One of the lights began to flash as a voice echoed in her head.
"Oh hey, you're awake!" the voice said in a cheerful tone. "Welcome to Purgasocky!"
"To… what?"
A second light flashed. "A place that is neither here, nor there. It is not on your plane of existence, nor is it an alternate world. A realm where sight and sound are meaningless, instead giving way—"
"You're doing it again, Zero." a third light flashed. "Let me simplify it for you. This is where us Improbability Socks can communicate with each other. You're the first pony to ever join us here!"
"I am? Am I dead?" Little Mac asked, trying to see anything around her, only to be met with more white.
"Nah, you're fine. We just wanted to thank you personally for finding us! It's been lame to be separated for so long."
"So thanks! And, uh, sorry for being such a jerk out there with the bananas and stuff. It's kinda hard to control myself, ya know?"
"Uh, sure. Happy to be of service to Princess Luna," Little Mac said, staring blankly up at the lights.
"Oh! Speaking of, we have an important message for you to deliver to Luna when you see her next. Please pay attention, this is urgent."
Little Mac did her best to straighten her body, leaning forward to pay close attention.
"Yes?"
"Can you tell Luna to use, like, a high-power soap to wash her hooves? It's a lot rougher than you think to deal with stinky hooves."
Little Mac blinked. "I thought you said I was the only pony to wear all four of you at once."
"Sorta. You're the only one to wear us specifically for our improbability. Luna wears us cause we're comfy, our powers don't really come into play when we're just being used as socks. We're okay with that, as long as she keeps her hooves clean. Seriously, it's like she stands in swamp ooze or something."
"Uh... I'll be sure to tell her."
"Thanks! Well, that's about all. Sorry to bug you."
With that, the whiteness around Little Mac began to fade to black. As things went completely black, the green light flashed again.
"Oh, and as an extra 'thank you,' we're gonna give you a little present. Don't expect us to do it again, though!"
---
"Macintosh!? Macintosh!?"
Little Macintosh's eyes opened, but she didn't see anything. She reached up and felt her face, realizing that she was completely covered in mud and weeds from whatever creek she landed in. In the distance, she could see Pandora rushing around, looking for her, so she raised a hoof up into the air. Pandora came to a halt, then turned and rushed towards her.
"Macintosh, you did it! Woona's gone! Are you alright?!"
Little Macintosh stumbled up to her hooves, stretching out her body.
"Urgh... I'm hurting, but I'll be fi-" Little Mac froze upon hearing her voice, now much deeper and more familiar. Shaking the muck off of her body, Little Mac held out a hoof and looked down at it.
His hoof was larger and thicker, a hoof built from years of apple bucking. Pandora stared at him.
"What the... You're a stallion again?"
Big Mac blinked, looking back over his body. "I guess so."
"But only alicorn magic could change you back, and even then it wasn't guaranteed! That... that's impossible!"
There was an awkward silence. Big Mac thought back to Purgasocky, and the last thing the socks had said to him before he left. He chuckled to himself, and walked back towards the cart.
"Nah, it isn't impossible. Just improbable."
---
The cart slowly pulled to a halt behind Lyra's house, and Tabala excitedly jumped out of the back of the cart, rushing to the front seat to talk to Lyra. Big Macintosh and Pandora exited the cart, Big Mac slinging the towel containing the socks over his back. He turned towards the Everfree Forest, but a hoof on his back stopped him.
"Macintosh... I want to thank you again for getting my daughter back," Pandora quietly said, averting her gaze. "I don't know what I would have done without you."
Mac patted Pandora on the back. "It's just part of my duty, Pandora. I'm a Knight of the Order of the Apple, and we live by a code of honor. Remember, I wouldn't have been able to complete this all without yours and Tabala's help."
Pandora blushed. "Are you sure you don't want to sleep at Lyra's for the night? You look exhausted."
"I have a task to complete. Thank you, but I must be going to the temple in the forest."
Pandora nodded, smiling. "I hope we get to see you again some time."
Big Macintosh returned the smile. "I assure you, we will see each other again."
He turned towards the forest again, but this time was interrupted when Tabala leapt at him and hung off his neck with a hug.
"You have to come visit us again, Big Mac!"
He tussled the filly's hair, smiling. "Don't y'all worry, I'll definitely visit. I promise."
As the filly let go of Big Mac, he nodded at Lyra, who was lowering her cart into the ground again, and waved back to him. With one last glance and smile at Pandora, Big Mac clenched the towel containing the socks in his mouth, then turned and walked towards the Everfree Forest. When he reached the edge, he paused and surveyed Ponyville to make sure that nopony was following him. In the distance, he saw the lights in Lyra's house go out, and he smiled to himself before turning around and breaking into a mighty gallop, dodging through the trees and creatures until the abandoned castle came into view.
Mac came to a halt in front of the castle, opening up the towel again to make sure that all four socks were there. Looking them over, he let out a long, relieved sigh, happy that his mission was finally over. But in the back of his mind, something was bothering him: the Temple of the Hoodie. The socks may have been returned, but he knew that they would be planning again. Whether those plans would involve getting the socks back or something else, he wasn't sure. All he could be sure of was that the Temple would not be defeated by a rockslide… only slowed.
After folding the socks back into the towel, he carefully entered the abandoned castle. As down as he walked through the castle, each hoofstep echoing off the walls, and he carefully scanned the sides of the main room. When he finally found a discolored rock, he carefully removed it from the wall, taking out the small flare inside and lighting the end of it, shooting it through the open ceiling and into the sky. He watched as it sailed higher and higher, eventually exploding into a bright firework that sparkled for several seconds. Mac only had to wait for a half minute before a bright light shimmered behind him, and he turned around to find Princess Luna standing. He immediately crouched down in a deep bow to her, laying out the towel at her hooves and displaying the four socks.
Luna looked over the four socks, nodding. "Amazing, Sir Macintosh. You have my eternal thanks for retrieving the Socks Of Improbability."
"It was my duty, and pleasure, to serve you, Princess Luna," Macintosh said, standing up. "But I must warn you of something. In my search to retrieve the socks, I ended up at odds with the Temple of the Hoodie."
Luna nodded her head in concern. "I see. They still remain a threat in Equestria, then."
"They nearly completed a ritual that would have allowed them to—" Big Mac went quiet, unsure of how to continue. He had no idea if Luna knew of the existence of Woona or not, and he decided to play it safe. "It would have allowed them to take over Equestria. They have been stopped for now, but they will attack again."
An eerie silence filled the castle as Luna contemplated. "I see," was all she said, before turning and gazing out a hole in the wall. "A thousand years ago, the Temple of the Hoodie was merely a small group of rebellious ponies. To think they are now more powerful than ever…"
Luna turned back to Big Mac. "When the time comes, Sir Macintosh, I will require your assistance again. If the Temple of the Hoodie is going to strike again, then we will need our strongest defenses. Which means that Celestia or I would be contacting you again."
BIg Mac nodded. "As a Knight, it is my sworn duty to obey for the protection of Equestria. Should the time come that you need my services again, I would be more than happy to oblige. Besides, I now have a personal matter to settle with them."
Luna's head tilted to the side. "What personal matter would that be, Sir Macintosh?"
Macintosh paused, and his head lowered, thinking about Saddleazar's words. "Their leader knows what happened to my father. I'm betting he knows what happened to my mother as well. In fact, the Temple of the Hoodie may have been involved." He looked back at Luna, his eyes tilted in anger. "I'm going to find out what happened to them. No matter what."
The princess nodded her head. "I understand, Sir Macintosh. I thank thee for your loyalty and expediency in this matter." Luna said as her horn glowed, and the four socks floated in front of her. "You can consider this mission put to rest, and are dismissed."
"Before that, I have a message for you from... well, from the socks."
Luna stopped, turning around with her right eyebrow raised. "From the socks?"
"Yes. They're perfectly fine with you wearing them for their sock capabilities, but they request that you wash your hooves thoroughly before you do."
Luna stared at Big Mac, who was awkwardly fidgeting at the ground. She sighed, shaking her head as she turned away.
"You are truly a valuable knight, Sir Macintosh, but you have a strange sense of humor."
With a flash, Luna disappeared. Big Mac gazed at the empty space that Luna previously occupied before he took a long, relieved breath and turned to leave. He exited the castle and started to walk in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres, but after only a few steps, exhaustion overtook him. He paused, then turned around and walked in the other direction, towards the faint light of a hut deep within the forest.
---
The next morning, Big Macintosh stood on the edge of Sweet Apple Acres. Zecora had been kind enough to put him up for the night, allowing him to regain his strength, but he had left early in the morning to get back home. Surveying the farm put a smile on his face, and he slowly walked towards the back door of the barn, making sure not to be seen. In the distance, he saw Applejack bucking trees, while Apple Bloom carried bushels of them towards a shed. The smile on his face faltered a bit when he realized how many trees were now overflowing with apples, likely a result of his absence for days, and the cousins having to go home at some point.
Making sure that they didn't see him, Macintosh snuck to the back door and carefully pushed it open. Inside, Granny Smith was at the stove, stirring a pot of something. She turned around as Macintosh walked into the room, then she smiled and turned back to the pot.
"Well, lookie what the cat dragged in," she said. "I take it things went well?"
Sitting down at the table, Macintosh nodded his head. "Equestria's safe... well, for now. I have a feeling that I'm going to be contacted again within a few weeks."
"Lordy, again? Those princesses are workin' you harder than they ever worked yer ma and pa," Granny replied.
At the words "ma and pa," Big Macintosh thought back to the Omnihoodie's words again about his father. He opened his mouth to tell Granny Smith, but instead chose to remain quiet. It just didn't feel right to him to arrive home and immediately ask about something that Granny had kept quiet about for so long. "Yes, but it's my duty as a Knight of the Order of the Apple. I'm the only member of the Apple family here who can go on these missions, so it is my obligation to do so."
Granny Smith stared out the window, slowly stopping her stirring. She sighed, then sat down next to Big Mac.
"Ya know, I'm glad you brought that up. I've been doin' some thinkin' while you've been gone, and Mac, I think it's about time."
"About time for what?"
"For her to join."
Big Mac paused for a second, trying to comprehend what Granny Smith had said, then his eyes widened. "What!?"
Granny nodded. "You've been summoned so much lately, and whenever y'all come back yer more exhausted than a sheepdog at a wool convention. It's time that the Knights of the Order of the Apple got a new recruit who could help y'all."
"I know you've been talking about it for a while, but is she really ready?"
Granny Smith tilted her head, beckoning Big Mac over. He trotted over, and they stared out the window at the figures int he distance. Just as Apple Bloom placed a basket down and scooted back, Applejack was carefully lining herself up with a tree. WIth a sly smirk, she galloped forward and leapt into the air, driving one back hoof into the side of the tree. With a massive shake, a barrage of apples cascaded down from the branches, neatly filling up the basket, save for a single apple that landed several feet away. Applejack tilted her hat downward, then kicked the apple up into the air, bouncing it off her other hoof and onto the top of the basket.
"She's talented, she's young, and she's more confident than a six-horned unicorn in a magic show. Everythin' that the Knights of the Order of the Apple look for."
Big Mac looked down at Granny Smith. "But what about her friends? What's she gonna tell them when she disappears for days?"
Granny just smiled and winked. "Same things I told yer friends when you disappeared for days."
A chuckle escaped Big Mac's lips as he looked back out. "So you really think she's ready?" The words had barely escaped his lips before a newspaper swatted him in the back of the head. He looked to his side to see an exasperated Granny Smith holding it in one hoof, grunting.
"Land sakes, you been listenin' to anything I've said? Yer sister is ready, Big Mac!"
Big Mac sighed, turning to the door. "Well, might as well go get her now then."
"Now yer' thinkin'! I'll get some cider out."
Nodding, Big Mac opened the door and walked into the field, just as Applejack bucked another tree in the distance. As soon as she saw her brother, Apple Bloom's face lit up and she gave a happy wave to him as she carried a basket of apples to the barn. Big Mac smiled and waved back, then continued his walk up to Applejack, who was lining up another kick when she noticed Big Mac.
"Mac! How y'all feelin'?"
Big Mac scratched the back of his head. "World's finally stopped spinnin', so I think I'm good."
AJ chuckled, then turned back to the tree. "Good to hear, Mac. 'Cause we got a lot to catch up on. The cousins had to leave a day ago, so we're behind." She paused for a second. "Which reminds me, I ran into this mare…"
Big Mac's eyes widened. He had completely forgotten about his curious encounter with his sister when he had been… not himself. "Oh… ya did?"
"Yeah! And she had a coat like yours, hair like yours, and a Cuti—"
"Changeling," Big Mac sputtered out.
AJ blinked. "Changeling?"
"Changeling."
There was an awkward silence, and AJ tapped her hoof to her forehead. "Aw shoot, I forgot about changelings! Hang dangit, I was hopin' it'd be a new sister or somepony who knew about our parents. Ah well, back ta work I suppose."
As AJ went back to the tree, Big Mac followed her. "Actually, AJ, I wanted ta' ask you something."
AJ stopped and looked over at Big Mac, who had begun to paw at the ground awkwardly. "Sure, but is everythin' alright, Mac? Ya look like the weight of a thousand apples is on yer mind."
"Well, erm…" Big Mac began, his words trailing off. "It's pretty important."
There was a tense silence, and Applejack stepped towards her big brother, patting him on the shoulder. "Mac, whatever y'all gotta say, just say it."
Big Mac momentarily turned away, looking back towards the barn. In the window, he could see Granny Smith setting up a few glasses of cider on the living room table. She glanced out the window at Big Mac, smiling and slowly nodding her head before she pulled the drapes closed. Big Mac took a long breath, then turned back to his sister.
"AJ… Can I borrow Apple Bloom for the afternoon? I wanted ta' get some chores done around the house."
After a pause, Applejack responded with a laugh. "Shoot, Big Mac, is that all? Here ya had me worried somethin' bad had happened! Why on earth would ya be so awkward about that?"
Big Mac smiled shyly. "Guess I figured ya had a lot of work for her to do. Didn't want to tear her away from ya if—"
"Nonsense. Hey Apple Bloom!" Applejack yelled. Almost instantaneously, Apple Bloom came bounding out of the farm and slid up to her older siblings. Applejack patted her on the shoulder. "Yer bein' drafted to Team Big Mac for the afternoon, he's got some chores for ya to do."
Apple Bloom held her hoof up to her forehead in a mocking salute. "Yes ma'am!"
With a nod, Applejack turned back to the tree and paced around it, planning her bucking strategy. Big Mac walked off towards the house, Apple Bloom happily trotting behind him. After just a few seconds, she ran ahead and began walking backwards in front of her big brother.
"So what kinda chores we doing? Sweepin', finally cleanin' out the attic?"
Big Mac smiled. "Actually, Apple Bloom, yer granny and I just wanna talk for a while about somethin'."
Apple Bloom's pace slowed and her face well. "Jus' talk? Wait, is this about the birds an' the bees? Cause Applejack already told me about those, and then Scootaloo found this magazine at Rainbow Dash's house where these two ponies—"
A hoof patting her on the back cut Apple Bloom off as Big Mac shook his head. "Nah, nothin' like that. Pretty dang important, though."
"Well, is it at least excitin'?"
Bic Mac came to a halt, staring at Apple Bloom for a few moments before bursting out laughing. He dropped down to his haunches, chortling so hard his body shook as Apple Bloom just scrunched up her face.
"Hey, don' laugh at me, Mac! Tell me, is it excitin'?"
Wiping a tear from his eye, Bic Macintosh stifled more chuckles, reaching out and tussling Apple Bloom's mane.
"Heh heh… Eyyyyup."
------------
THE END
-------------
CREDITS:
Jamie Hyneman as Chapter 1
Tom Waits as Chapter 2
Schroeder as Chapter 3
The King Of The Cosmos as Chapter 4
Chun-Li as Chapter 5
"Macho Man" Randy Savage as Chapter 6
Andrei Ulmeyda as Chapter 7
Complete Insanity as Every Chapter
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"Potassium paroxysm" has got to be the sexiest pairing of words ever, and "Purgasocky" left me speechless. I giggled like a little girl many times—the most I think of any chapter.
Thus completes the magnificent epic. I have no concluding words that could hold proper justice, so instead have a Fluttershy I drew today.
I have to admit, that bit with Applebloom was very funny. I didn't even think it was going to happen, good job. I got too caught up in the story.
and que the indiana jones theme song
Wonderful. I had the stupidest grin on my face when Mac pulled the helpful item out of the bag.
That was awesome from pretty much start to finish.
And so it is the story ends. Lots of action for the finale, and that's all we wrote. 'Twas a fun romp.
Oh my goodness gracious. That was positively hilarious.
I'm blown away by how perfectly you wrapped everything up, Brian! Seriously, among the jokes and laughs in every other paragraph, you managed to tie in his father, his skill with bucking, the towel, the bananas, everything! It didn't feel rushed, either, it totally worked. I could never have imagined a better ending, or even one remotely this good.
Great job, man! I was smiling like a maniac practically the whole time! Even the "intense" parts were funny, because we were dealing with socks and hoodies and Woona! HAHAHA!
I'm proud to have been part of this. Well done, everyone. I wish I could participate in its (much needed) sequel.
Oh, and great Background Pony references, of course. :ponkybeam:
Nice. No other words to use but Nice
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Cool story. Enjoyed the part with the seaponies. Any reason they skipped Applejack for recruitment?
Greenthumbed!
I'd ask what possessed you to write this, but then I'd have to explain what possessed me to read this all the way to the end.
The only thing I don't get is the weird little fakeout with AJ and Applebloom. 'bloom is, well, not Knight material, I'm sorry.
Okay. So. I haven't finished reading this yet. I've enjoyed the hitchiker guide and weird al references, but I thought I was stretching things when there was a cult of the hoodies and Lyra in the same fic. But then you did it. You had to do it. Spike dug the swell hoodies and my world broke lose. Background Pony. Background Pony. That. Fic. That fic. I mean. Lyra tries so hard and failed. That fic has been the only thing fanfic to give me feels. And here I find it again.
That said this is a pretty enjoyable fic and you're doing good work. But Lyra Heartstrings. She tried so hard but she had no chance to win from the start. She never had a chance and yet she was okay with the outcome and Raaaaaahhhhhhrrljahslkjdaskldjfnasldk mdmfowpeqk'weeeroqpwie;lfkd;salffjqweqjasdm.ske yboardsmacha;skldjf pone
That unicorn babe is totally hot for me.
Signing off.
(Awesome fic btw!
)