It's Nightmare Night, Fenrir Lokison!
Curled up in the reading nook of my barn-sized doghouse, I lapped up some water from the large plastic bowl, courtesy of Twilight, and licked my lips. Outside, I could hear the sounds of childish squeals and innocent revelry. Today was a pony holiday known as "Nightmare Night", a tradition started after Princess Luna's banishment where colts and fillies, as well as adults, dressed up in colorful costumes, played games and, most vital of all, went door to door asking for candy. How the defeat and imprisonment of a major threat to Equestria correlated with costumes and sweets, I will never know and this lack of comprehension was apparently amusing to my equine friends. I'm surprised that Princess Luna is actually content with allowing these festivities to continue as her subjects essentially made a mockery out of the darkest time in her and Princess Celestia's life.
It must be a pony thing, I suppose. I know Odin would've pitched a fit had anyone turned his beloved Balder's death into an excuse to throw a party.
Shifting so that I could adjust my position, I returned once more to the hardcover novel hovering in front of me and slid back into the world of The Count of Mountie Cresto. Unlike Frankenstag, I enjoyed this book immensely, sympathizing with the plight of the protagonists Edmule Damtes, an unlucky youth that had been wrongfully imprisoned and subsequently broke free to pursue vengeance against the blackguards that put him away. The story then becomes a tense web of deceit, psychological manipulation, betrayal, startling revelations and deep introspection on the nature of revenge, hope, forgiveness and morality. Twilight honestly underplayed this book when she pitched it to me and I would certainly sing its praises once I returned it to the library. The only thing that really annoyed me was the fate of the duplicitous Fetnand, one of the ponies that had wronged Edmule.
Fetnand was the primary instigator and stabbed Edmule in the back so that he could marry Marecedes and leave Edmule to rot in prison for fourteen years. Don't get me wrong, although it brought me enormous satisfaction to see that Fetnand was publicly disgraced and later abandoned by his family, it irked me that he was dealt with in such an underwhelming manner. Honestly, Dockmas should've written it so that Fetnand was saved for last. Imagine it: a final confrontation between the pair, an epic duel between our protagonist and the two-faced snake-in-the-grass that ruined his life, a knock-down, drag-out battle that would test their physical capabilities. But instead, Edmule, who had been masquerading as the titular Count, reveals his true identity to Fetnand and the latter kills himself, the story continuing until the rest of the conspirators answer for their crimes.
I was now on the last page of the novel and rapt with anticipation at its conclusion.
'As for you, Maximilien, here is the secret of my conduct towards you: there is neither happiness nor unhappiness in this world ; there is only the comparison of one state with another. Only a stallion who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss. It is necessary to have wished for death, Maximilien, in order to know how good it is to live.
'Live, then, and be happy, beloved children of my heart, and never forget that, until the day Faust deigns to reveal the future to stallion, the sum of all pony wisdom will be contained in these two words: Wait and hope.'
A threefold knock at the door disturbed my reading and Fluttershy's voice gently called at the other end.
"Fen, are you ready to go?"
I frowned and pulled at the shaggy garment dangling over my left foreleg. A week ago, I was sitting in the castle with the others and they were all discussing their plans for Nightmare Night, with the sole exception of Fluttershy, as she was (unsurprisingly) not a fan of the holiday and instead spent it locked indoors. I elected to keep her company until the celebration was over but Twilight argued that this was my first Nightmare Night and that I needed to experience with everypony. In a moment of pure stupidity, I told Fluttershy that if she agreed to dress up and go out, I would accompany her and even wear a costume as well. I then sweetened the deal by adding in the stipulation that we'd have matching costumes and that she could even pick them out.
Me and my big mouth.
"No. I look ridiculous!" I replied, sounding rather juvenile in retrospect.
"C'mon, we haven't got all night!" A second voice rudely interjected.
Curse it all, Angel.
"Please Fen, I bet you look great!" Fluttershy pleaded. "Please come out?"
Muttering to myself, I finally opened the door and, little by little, fully emerged from my doghouse.
Fluttershy's attire consisted of a frilly pink dress with a white laced-up front, a matching bonnet and a baby-blue shepherd's crook wrapped in pink ribbons. I, on the other paw, looked like a complete moron. Several white shaggy carpets had been sewn together and tied around my chin, waist and limbs, and a pair of floppy bathroom rugs and the two halves of a black-painted tennis ball making up the ears and eyes. Lastly, an old cowbell, courtesy of Applejack, dangled from my collar and loudly clattered with every movement. Yes, I was literally a wolf in sheep's clothing.
Kill me.
Fluttershy's eyes widened considerably. "Aww, Fen, you look so adorable!"
I winced. "Mother, please. Do not call me that."
I don't know how in Thiazi's name she managed to talk me into this. Okay, maybe the promise of bacon factored into it. Don't judge me.
She giggled and shook her head in a maternal oh-look-at-my-big-grown-up-son manner.
"Okay, you look very nice."
Angel stood off to the side tapping one foot, his demeanor being that of someone that desperately desired to be anywhere else but here. His costume made him look like a particularly sour-faced light gray fuzz-ball.
"What are you supposed to be?"
He rolled his eyes and muttered, "A dust bunny."
I merely stared at him.
"What? It wasn't my idea."
Fluttershy smoothed out her skirt and smiled somewhat nervously. "Are you ready?"
"Not especially," I murmured and began to internally question my life choices.
"Let's get going, then. Okay?"
Ghouls, mummies, devils and pirates crowded the streets of Ponyville, laughing and shrieking in both delight and fear. I recognized a few ponies, such as Lyra and Bon Bon, who were dressed as ketchup and mustard containers respectively, and a gauze-wrapped Berry Punch chatting with an unidentified individual in a black cape, tricorn hat and a mask situated in a permanent frown. The figure, pony-like in shape, mechanically rotated their head to follow my path, but then turned back towards Berry Punch and resumed their conversation as if nothing had happened. A part of me wished to confront the stranger but the shivering pegasus clinging to my side required my immediate attention. Besides, it ultimately didn't matter as the figure was gone by the time I looked back in their direction so I dropped the matter altogether.
Derpy was made to look like a giant muffin and was standing over by a candy apple stall with Time Turner, who was decked out in a horned helmet and faux-fur mantle, a cardboard battle-ax slung over one shoulder. In between them was a gray unicorn filly I'd seen around town that was made to look like a rag doll, complete with a red yarn wig, blue and white plaid pinafore dress and red circles painted on her cheeks. What was the story there, I wonder? Was that Derpy's daughter, sister or cousin? Perhaps it was her illegitimate lovechild with the eccentric alleged extraterrestrial?
Don't know, don't care.
"Hey you guys!"
Rainbow Dash dramatically landed in front of us and struck a pose. She was wearing a white pith helmet and a button-up green short-sleeve shirt, a curled bullwhip hanging from her belt. She'd even taken the liberty of dying her trademark prismatic mane and tail gray and black.
"Pfft, wow. Look at you."
"Baa," I flatly intoned.
No amount of bacon is worth this humiliation...
...I'm lying, obviously.
Fluttershy lit up. "That's a very nice costume, Rainbow Dash."
"Thanks, Flutters," Rainbow smirked, then focused on me. "What do you think?"
I cocked my head. "You're a...sexy grandmother?"
Rainbow's jaw dropped and I could hear Fluttershy gasping beside me. A partially-stifled snicker let me know that Angel was especially amused by my answer.
"No!" Rainbow indignantly glowered. "I'm Daring Do, the greatest adventurer of all time!"
"Are you sure?"
"That's enough, Fen," Fluttershy piped up. "I think she looks pretty cool."
Rainbow Dash resumed her smirking. "Yeah, I do, huh? At least I'm not a walking carpet."
"True, but you're the one in fetish gear," I retorted. "What's with the bullwhip? Is some chump paying you to hit him while he yells, 'Harder, Mommy'?"
This time, Angel let out a snicker while Fluttershy turned increasingly crimson.
Rainbow, meanwhile, could only glare daggers at me.
"Daring Do sometimes uses a bullwhip, like in Daring Do and the Quetzal's Quest, where she had to face off against the fearsome Black Swordstallion of-..."
"Did she make him climax before or after she stepped on his nuts?"
"I'M NOT A DOMINATRIX!"
Heads swiftly turned in our direction.
"Sorry..."
Parents shook their heads in disapproval and led their kids away, one colt even asking his mother what a dominatrix is, leading to the response that he'd learn when he was married one day. A fierce blush covered Rainbow's cheeks as she profusely continued apologizing, now looking at least twenty to thirty-percent less cooler. Fluttershy patted her friend's pack sympathetically while giving me a reproachful frown, the yellow of her cheeks replaced with a bright scarlet. What made this even funnier was the fact that my knowledge of such depravity originates from the paperback books I found squirreled away in a hidden crawlspace behind the cottage sofa. I suppose that the most sexually inexperienced and repressed are the most lewd-minded.
A scrawny twig of a stallion nervously approached Rainbow. He had on big thick glasses over his acne-ridden face and a high-collared cloak, a pair of plastic fangs crammed on each side of his overbite.
"So, erm, how much do you charge hourly?" He asked sheepishly in a high-pitched voice.
"Get out of here before I knock you silly!"
The stallion promptly fled, using his cloak in a sad attempt at hiding his erection. I could no longer hold back and let loose a near-maniacal cackle, causing ponies nearby to give me a wide berth. Angel, now losing his composure, joined in on my crazed laughter, falling over and flailing while he pounded the grass with his tiny fists. Tears stung my eyes and a deep burning sensation filled my lungs as they struggled to replenish me with oxygen. When I'd finally finished, I found Rainbow maintaining an unblinking scowl in my direction.
If looks could kill, her glare would've instantly sent me to Nástrǫnd nine times over.
"We should see what the others are up to," she murmured and sulked past us.
Unsurprisingly, Sugarcube Corner was busy by the time we'd arrived, a small crowd of ponies visible through the windows of the establishment, a sea of colors filling the joint up. I wondered how Mr. and Mrs. Cake managed to keep up with all of the customers before Pinkie Pie's arrival, especially given how she was the business' primary draw and no doubt added to its popularity. The fantastic scent of sugary delights flowed from Sugarcube Corner's interior and my mouth watered in anticipation. Seeing as how I was too large to actually fit inside, Fluttershy and Rainbow entered the building, the blue pegasus actually sticking her tongue out at me while Fluttershy's back was turned.
"Lítill fífl," I groused under my breath.
"I've got to say," Angel remarked smugly. "You've got a way with the mares."
"Shut up."
A couple of minutes later, the pair emerged with brown paper bags smelling of sweet delicacies.
"So where's Pinkie?" I asked them. "I thought she was coming-..."
Something erupted inside of my mouth, pushing my cheeks outward. My jaws sprang open and to my dismay, a familiar pink earth pony emerged.
"Ta-da!"
Leaping out of my mouth, Pinkie spun several times before landing on a single hindleg, her body garbed in a tight-fitting red and black checkered motley and jester's cap. In one outstretched forehoof, she held a baton topped with a facsimile of her grinning face. I loudly hacked and spat.
Ew, I had Pinkie Pie in my mouth!
...Get your mind out of the gutter.
"How did you do that?!"
"She's Pinkie," Fluttershy, Angel and Rainbow simultaneously answered.
"That's not an answer and you know it."
"Aww, lighten up, Fenny!" Pinkie did a twirl and pulled out what appeared to be a baseball-sized skull (from somewhere), shoving it towards my face. "Here, try it!"
Warily, I sniffed the skull, discovering the scent of almonds, flour, sugar, honey and vanilla.
"It's marzipan. Come on, you'll love it!"
I looked towards Fluttershy, who nodded reassuringly.
"It's okay, Fen. Go on."
I bent down and, carefully using my front teeth, picked the skull up and tilted my head slightly back. The skull rolled to the back right side of my mouth and I bit down, grinding up the soft, chewy material with my molars. An explosion of nuttiness and tooth-rotting sugary goodness burst upon my tongue, my taste buds unprepared for the assault of flavor. Oh, it was exquisite to be sure, and though by no means on the same level as bacon, I could nonetheless see marzipan becoming my fifth favorite foodstuff. That would mean that it would come behind raw game meat, bacon, chicken, and kraken.
Hey, don't knock it till you try it.
"It's delicious!" I licked the back of my top incisors. "Do you have any more?"
Thankfully, Pinkie did indeed carry more marzipan skulls...in her mane of all places, and I happily gorged myself. It was slightly amusing how they were each painted with floral decorations and the mouths were sculpted into big goofy grins, as if to detract from the rather macabre insinuation of their consumption. Ponies, it would seem, generally lightened up all serious or grim subject matter with a glossy coat of lighthearted positivity and cheerfulness. That, or attempted to outright ignore it in favor of a happy, lackadaisical world of sunshine and rainbows. Of course, given their shockingly dark history, vis-à-vis war, plagues, famine, more wars, it wasn't beyond the scope of rationality for them to try and look on the bright side of life.
The five of us made our way to Carousel Boutique, where Twilight, Spike and Rarity were gathered at the building's entrance, Twilight waving in our direction with her hoof clasping a simple oak twig. Her chosen costume consisted of large, round-rimmed glasses, a black hooded coat, a V-neck sweater and a striped necktie. She also had a red lightning bolt drawn on her forehead and her mane was gathered into a neat bun held in place with a red scrunchy. Owlowiscious sat perched on Twilight's right shoulder, wearing a similar outfit to Twilight's and looking rather proud and dignified, although that just appeared to be his default setting. I stopped and gave a little half-head tilt, trying to guess what it was she was supposed to be.
"Hey everyone! Happy Nightmare Night!" Twilight cheerfully greeted us.
"Hello Twilight. Nice costume," Fluttershy responded softly.
"What are you supposed to be?" I inquired.
"I'm...Harry Trotter!" Twilight answered dramatically, waving her wand in random clockwise and counterclockwise figure eights. "He's a character from a book series I grew up with."
"It's really quite interesting," Owlowiscious added, though I'm fairly certain our pony companions interpreted it as "Whoo."
To Twilight's right, Spike stood clad in what I presumed to be homemade cardboard armor wrapped in tinfoil with a golden eagle-shaped crest painted on the "breastplate". A wooden sword was tucked into his rope belt and an old, faded red towel served as a cape. Although seemingly simplistic and cheap, I had to give him the proper respect for improvisation. Lastly, Rarity was garbed in a fringed, peacock green sleeveless dress, pearl necklace, high-heeled shoes, a black and violet bob cut wig and feathered headband. She had a cigarette holder jutting from a silk gloved hoof and upon closer inspection, I noticed a small artificial beauty mark on her left cheek.
Spike unsheathed his wooden sword, boldly holding it aloft.
"And I be the noble Sir Vigilus of Ysatnaf, Lord Protector of the Realm. I learned about him from the new 'Keep of Calamity' campaign of Ogres & Oubliettes."
Ah yes, that board game Spike likes so much.
"Ah yes, that board game you like so much," I nodded and Spike grinned at my recognition.
"Technically, it's a team-based fantasy tabletop RPG but yeah, good catch."
Whatever. Nerd.
Rarity pretended to puff on her cigarette holder. "I chose to go with something a bit nostalgic and dated, yet elegant and timelessly refined: the Flapper Filly."
Personally, I thought she looked like a harlot but that might've been a hold-over from my world.
"You look...pretty," I managed.
"Why thank you, Dar-ling. You look quite adorable yourself."
I am NOT adorable!
"And Rainbow Dash is an elderly dominatrix," I grinned cheekily.
"No I'm not!"
"Whatever you say, Granny."
A pair of cerise eyes were suddenly directly within my line of sight.
"Are you kidding me?" Rainbow whined. "You're so old you be-long in a mu-se-um!"
I poked the end of her snout with a front toe and lightly pushed the flapping pegasus away.
"Heh, at least ponies would still gather in droves to see me."
"Um, Fen? Do you think you could stop teasing Rainbow?"
I sighed and addressed Fluttershy. "Yes, Mother." Then, I turned to Rainbow. "I was just teasing."
"Nah, it's cool. It's kind of refreshing to have someone who can keep up with me, at least when it's about comebacks."
Spike gestured with his free arm. "Come on, everyone! Let's venture into Sweet Apple Acres and see what Applejack and her family have in store for us!"
Applejack and her clan volunteered to do something special for Nightmare Night but elected to keep it a surprise, reasoning that it would be more effective at delivering suspense and fright if no one (nopony) knew what it was beforehand (hoof). I thought back to a week prior when I helped Big Mac to move several hundred hay bale stacks, which was obviously a giant clue as to what the surprise was, though I had no idea what it could be. Winona, of course, was tight-lipped about it as well though she did say that the surprise had something to do with "getting lost and found again", whatever that means. I pressed her for more information but Winona's only response was to sweetly giggle and give my cheek a good look, telling me to lighten up and referring to me as, "Mr. Grumpy", immaturely chanted it over and over again as I chased her around the park in faux-anger. If anything, that Cranky Doodle Donkey fellow is truly the real Mr. Grumpy, not I.
My guess is he's having trouble pleasing his significant other.
I decided to ease Fluttershy's distress by giving her a ride on my back and this thankfully seemed to assuage her fears, the monotonous stroking of my fur making the pegasus' stress vanish and leaving her present and accounted for. Despite her apprehension, or perhaps, in defiance of it, Fluttershy was proving to be very brave and I marveled at her resolve, as it would've been easy for her to turn tail and run. Instead, she stuck with me and kept her word, thus allowing her to spend a fun evening with her friends instead of spending another Nightmare Night locked up in her cottage. I mean, she has to deal with dragons, megalomaniacs, sorcerers and changelings yet a little harmless pranking and make-believe scared her out of her wits? Kind of makes one (mostly me) wonder what kind of upbringing Fluttershy had growing up.
Sweet Apple Acres soon came into view, the entryway covered in fake cobwebs and papier-mâché ghosts hung from the sign like tiny bells, each one bobbing gently in the soft evening breeze. Carved jack-o'-lanterns lined the outer edges of the farmyard and Apple homestead, hundreds of flickering flames dancing in the shade of the sky's black cloak. Masked ponies chatted, laughed and screamed, the hubbub overpowering all other sounds but I didn't mind seeing as how the party-goers were all in such high spirits. Do you get it? "High spirits"? You get it.
A green-faced witch in a tall pointed hat cackled, pointing a hoof at our little band.
"I see that a bunch of foolish mortals have trespassed onto my land!"
"Wow, nice outfit, Applejack!" Pinkie cheered.
"Your witch voice has improved since yesterday," Rarity pointed out. "Very impressive."
From up on my back, I could feel Fluttershy trembling like a leaf, her barely-audible whimpering tugging on my heartstrings. I peered over my shoulder and found her curled up with her eyes pressed tightly shut. Angel gently ran his paw along her head and mane, whispering positive words of encouragement to her.
"Mother, are you okay? It was just Applejack. You're safe."
Slowly, Fluttershy sat up and peeled her eyes open.
"Oh. I see. Th-thanks Fen."
"I'm so sorry, Sugarcube. I didn't mean to scare you that badly."
"It's alright, Applejack. I'm fine now. You were really frightening."
Rainbow held her hoof out for Applejack to give it a light slap.
"You really got us good! I mean, I wasn't scared but that was pretty awesome."
"Thank you kindly. I see Fenrir is makin' good use of Bessie's old cowbell. It looks good on you."
"It's working perfectly. Thanks again," I said with sincerity. I suppose dressing up like the world's biggest throw-rug wasn't entirely stupid and degrading.
"Shucks, I'm glad to hear it. Whelp, I suppose it's time to show y'all the big surprise, huh?"
Applejack led us around the barn to where a hay bale maze had been erected, a roof of midnight-blue cloth draped over the top. Pale whitish-blue light cascaded out of the maze's entrance, a thin layer of dry ice-mist seeping along the surrounding area, creeping like several vipers about to pounce on an unsuspecting rat. I espied Big Mac at the entrance dressed up like Frankenstag's monster, or at least the one perpetrated by popular culture, complete with flat skull, bolts in the neck, thick black-soled horseshoes, facial stitches and a tattered coat. Although not a bad design, I prefer the version from the original novel: watery, dull gray-brown eyes, snow-white teeth, blue-black lips, long black mane and furless, yellow parchment-like skin through which his muscles and arteries were visible. That monster (and I use the term loosely) was an eloquent, tortured wandering poet, not a shambling dunderhead created by the oft-portrayed virtuous Fron-ken-stahg.
"Well, what do y'all think?" Applejack asked everyone. "Pretty nice, eh?"
The structure was pony-sized and thus unable to accommodate my dimensions so I was unable to enter it. That being said, it clearly took a lot of time and effort to set up and I respected that.
"Nice work, Applejack. Fine work indeed."
The others conceded, Pinkie jumping up and down with a foreleg raised.
"Ooh, ooh! I wanna go first!"
"Pinkie's right. Let's go!" Twilight beamed excitedly. "I can't wait to see what surprises lurk inside."
"Oh, yay, great..."
Lowering myself to my belly, I turned to Fluttershy.
"Why don't you go into the maze? Your friends are going to be there, as well as Angel."
"Yeah, you'll be safe! I won't let anything happen to you."
Biting her lower lip, Fluttershy considered this with a little head bob.
"I...I don't know."
"Mother, if it gets too spooky, you know I can just burst through the walls and come get you. Nothing is going to hurt you, I promise."
Mentally arguing with herself, Fluttershy nodded and gently climbed down from my back with Angel in tow. She took a few steps and glanced uncertainly back at me, as though a filly seeking reassurance from her father. I smiled and gave her a small shooing motion.
"Go on. You'll be okay, Mother."
With that, and a hug from Angel, Fluttershy took a deep breath and, setting Angel onto her back, raced off somewhat exuberantly in the direction of the maze.
I sat up and watched her join her friends with a renewed sense of pride welling up inside of me. Wait and hope, I reminded myself. Wait and hope.
My nostrils twitched at a familiar scent and recognized the most-welcome visitor even before she opened her mouth:
"Hey there, stranger. Fancy meetin' you here."
Winona gently nuzzled my chin and gave me a lopsided grin. I returned her smile and let out a happy little yip, gently nudging her cheek with my snout. She wore a lime-green shirt stuffed into a pair of shorts with a simple blue belt and a badge on the left side of her chest that featured a ringed planet surrounded by stars. Her face was painted a dark green and she wore a fake plastic eye in the center of her forehead and a headband with fuzzy green balls attached to springs. The faux-extraterrestrial canine looked me over top to bottom and chuckled.
"I have to say honey, you do look pretty cute in that li'l outfit."
"Why does everyone keep on calling me cute?" I groused, to which Winona responded with a peck on the cheek.
"'Cause you are, sugarcube. You're just too precious. Now quite mopin' an let's go meet everyone else."
"I don't mope," I grumbled and followed Winona.
We arrived at the farmhouse and found the other pets, minus Angel, sitting on the porch steps.
"Hi Fen! Good to see you," Tank greeted me cheerfully. His shell was decorated with a ring of bumpy, light gray construction paper, bright yellow pipe cleaners bent into the shape of lightning bolts and glued to the paper's bottom. So he was a storm cloud. Who knew Rainbow Dash could be creative?
Opal gave me a quick once-over and waved her paw. "Oui, hi, hello Fenreer."
Wow, what a stellar personality. Who could possibly dislike such a warm and charming feline?
Then again, maybe, just maybe, her dourness could be excused as, like me, Opal was forced by her owner to adopt a humiliating outfit. Rarity had evidently stuffed her into a tight-fitting leotard-esque garment with a large tutu and ballet shoes on all four paws, the ribbons tightly securing the footwear to her limbs. A comically over-sized bow hanging haphazardly on her head. I bit the corner of my mouth to keep from laughing aloud, not to spare Opal's feelings but to avoid wasting an evening having to listen to her constant complaining about my "uncouth behahvior". She was already annoying enough, with her shrieking voice and painfully over-the-top Prench accent.
Like Pinkie Pie, Gummy was garbed in a jester's motley, except his was purple and yellow and covered in sparkly sequins. A tiny, twin-tailed cap sat atop his head and a shimmering round brass bell had been attached to the tip of his tail.
"Hello Gummy. I see you and Pinkie are sharing a theme this year."
Gummy's unblinking gaze found me. "Yes, although in this vast, ever-changing multiverse, it is conceivable to conclude that we, as the narrow-minded, passive observers, are all playing the fool."
"...I mean, of course. Absolutely," I quickly replied, having no clue as to what the reptile was talking about.
"Good to know that you understand the magnitude of existence."
Gummy...just no...
Opal examined her claws and distastefully commented, "Zere he goes ahgain, spouteeng hees eenahne nahnsense like sahme kind of pseudo-eentellectual know-eet-ahll."
No one will ever find the body...they can't prove it was you if they don't find the body...
"Can't you lay off him?" I sighed. "At least he actually has something to say."
Stiffening like a board, Opal's jaw dropped. "Why you eensahlent, uncultured, bahrbareec-..."
"Hold on a minute here! This is supposed to be a night of fun..."
Darting my head forward, I licked Opal's cheek, covering her in a thick layer of saliva. Sitting petrified for a moment, Opal let out a shrill screech, then proceeded to run around in a circle.
"Ugh, I've been keessed by a dahg! I hahve dahg germs! Get haht wahtair, get deesinfectahnt! Get sahme iodine!"
With the exception of Gummy, we all shared a good laugh at our feline friend's expense.
"Hi there, Fen!" Fluttershy cheered, although when I say, "cheered", I mean "spoke up slightly."
"Mother, how was the maze?"
Angel hopped down off of Fluttershy's back, almost losing his balance due to the bulky suit.
"Pretty underwhelming. The Cutie Mark Crusaders took turns popping out of corners and Granny Smith was working some kind of crank-operated doohickey that pulled cardboard ghosts on ropes."
"Even I wasn't scared of that," Fluttershy added proudly. "I told Applejack as much and she told me she would do better next year."
I hugged my mother, taking care not to crush her. "I'm so happy for you. You said you'd go out this Nightmare Night and you did it."
"Thanks Fen. Who knows? Maybe I can go out next year too!"
At that moment, Applejack arrived and patted Fluttershy on the back.
"Now that's what I like to hear. Good job!"
Her limb then came off and plopped into Fluttershy's awaiting hooves.
"Ahhhhghhh!"
There was a loud zipping sound and a Fluttershy-shaped cloud of dust appeared in her stead.
"Fluttershy, wait! It was just a prank! I didn't really lose my hoof!"
"...Or maybe not," I commented as Applejack chased after her.
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Jesus H. F U C K is the phonetic accent writing in this chapter AWFUL
actually painful to read
RIP flutters's confidence
Or even easier, use the auto save function :).
Brave Fluttershy. Good for her
11419431
Thank you for that
Fenrir’s comment about Rainbow Dash’s outfit had me laughing and smiling all throughout the chapter.
Such a good zinger.
11419431
For real, people always wanna fuck up the southern accent. Just type it out normally.
11419961
Well, at least it sounds like you're trying to offer constructive criticism instead of just insulting me
Happy late Halloween/Nightmare Night
11420089
Likewise!
11419991
Look, I come from Kentucky and the Appalachian foot hills, my accent was made fun of in the Army at the beginning and everytime I'd say something most of the guys would start laughing their asses off and I'd say stupid shit just to make everyone laugh, but we (southerners) don't talk like we're idiots and we do pronounce words much the same way everyone else does, there's no need to butcher a sentence just to try and mimic the accent, it's actually insulting to people with southern accents. You got a good thing going here, don't ruin it by trying that, please.
11420124
Okay. I wasn't trying to insult anyone so if I offended you, I'm sorry. I actually grew up in Georgia/Missouri but I now live up north and I just lost that part of myself a long time ago. Again, my apologies if it seemed like I was making fun of Southerners. It really wasn't my intent.
I loved the chapter! It put a smile on my face!
I read that book in graphic novel format
(sorry for the spelling, I use a translator)
ps: hey! my first comment!
11420229
It's okay and awesome! Glad to see ya!
11420119
Yee
Okay I enjoyed this chapter.
There is just one problem with it. And others have point it out already. A little more harshly then they could of.
In the future please either heavily tone down the “country” accent or just get rid of it all together.
Some parts of this chapter were physically painful for me to read because of how the accent was written. It really slowed down the reading and took some of the enjoyment from the chapter. Thankfully not much but like I said it was painful to read.
Now I haven’t watched MLP in years but if I remember correctly AJ and here family never went nowhere near as heavy as you did here in this chapter.
I’d suggest trying to do some research if you want to continue to use the accent. Even if it’s just going back and watching episodes of the show with AJ and here family as more focal points in the episode. Just to get a better feel for how they talk.
Well there is my two cents. I hope I came off as more constructive criticism(as intended) then an @hole or jerk.
Can’t wait for next chapter and hope you have a good one till then.
11421925
Thank you very much! I will bear that in mind and I'm sorry if it came off as condescending. I never meant to insult anyone.
11421941
I don’t really find it insulting. Although I can totally see how others could though.
I just found it really hard and painful to read. As in it was almost impossible to read.
In the end a lesson was learned and hopefully you can use this experience to improve your writing for the future.
11421984
Indeed! Again, thank you for the advice!
Please... Just stop. This has to be some of the most cringeworthy applejack drawl writing I've ever seen. It completely breaks the flow of the story.
I like the story, and the characters and use of Norse mythology is awesome, but for all that's holy... Please just write Applejack's dialogue normally. This is way too much.
11424828
I read you loud and clear. Thank you.
11424835
Sorry, that was a bit harsh. I should have worded that a little better.
11424858
No it's okay really. And I'm being genuine when I say all this. We're cool.
11443167
Provided that he can count to three, not five
Lmfao! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Peanuts reference. Nice.