• Member Since 22nd Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 8th, 2023

Ragnar


Black Lives Matter, this isn't hard

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Rarity comes with Pinkie Pie to her late aunt and uncle's house to help clean. It's a lovely place, except for the otherworldly monsters with questionable taste in music.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 19 )

10259523
Whoa, I thought all my comment sections were dead. I've been telling myself my prose leaves readers mute with awe, but I prefer comments, actually.

In the months where I was writing Nothings, I was thinking about what I'd do with Multitudes. By the time I finished Nothings, I had most of this one in my head and it took less than a week to put together. I love when they're easy.

10259609
I'm not equipped to read mature stories or I'd leave a comment on yours, but good luck on the writing. This hobby is hard as nails. It's worth it, though. Keep hammering away at it.

This is really great, and Rarity really is such an excellent friend. So what are these things anyway?

10342118
That’s literally the exact type of mop my ponytail I wear to conventions is made out of. I spray painted it blue and green because that’s my OCs tail colors.

10342194
Rock that mop, breh

What did I just read?

10433645
Once upon a time there was a bag that could love, because it was full of large spiders.

I really wish this had more love. and may be a little bit of an indulgent epilogue or a sequel where the rest of the gang learns about pinkie

Also I still think this doesn’t deserve the dark tag.

10600420
I figured the dead kid is a bit much, and if not, it's not that big a deal if a marginal case comes with a quick little content warning anyway. Who knows, maybe it'll matter.

If I could think of an interesting epilogue I might write it, but I kinda feel like it would be more of the same? I don't know, five quick pieces of flash fiction could be fun.

I appreciate the appreciation though. I like this fic too. But in fairness, this site is so dead that there aren't a whole lot of viewers to view it in the first place.

Wow, there are really nice things in this story. Like Pinkie:

"The grass in my aunt and uncle's meadow is super bouncy. I'd be fine. Hey, where do falling stars come from? I know where meteors and oids and ites come from, so don't tell me about all that, but what about falling stars? Is it when planets hatch? I think it's when planets hatch. Boy, I hope Equuis doesn't hatch. Ooh, I haven't seen the house in years!" She bounced in place. "It's got neat knick-knacks and furniture and lovely big windows with nice curtains, and the ceilings have wallpaper or I guess ceilingpaper, and you can see your face in every dish."

"It's so boring!! It's so boring I fell asleep, Rarity. I barely know how the tune goes because I’m out cold whenever I hear it. Every time, instantly. Here, watch this." She sat back, hummed the first two notes, and lost consciousness.

I like the short yet effective description of the nocturne:

a calm and warbling thing, but subtly complex

This one paragraph makes Rarity a more-interesting person, in a way that I don't think the show's writers have yet imagined, but should have:

She tried to stay on the cutting edge, to be the vanguard of the fashion revolution. But she knew there were other ways, and as an artist she couldn't help but respect them. For instance, there was a sincerity, a weathered sort of glamor unique to cheap jewelry. Wood and tin beads, furry greatcoats thick as bed comforters, bifocals on chains, strategically out-of-style fascinators... someday she herself would have the wrinkles to dignify that particular look, and she looked forward to exploring the new creative space.

This { makes great use of / highlights } the interesting character dynamics between Rarity and Pinkie:

"The problem," pronounced Rarity, "is the psychological tension caused by my appreciation for your aunt's personal style, in conflict with the aggressively avante-garde environment I've always immersed myself in. I hope I didn't alarm you earlier, dear."

"As long as you feel better!" smiled Pinkie. She tossed a cookie in the air, caught it on the tip of her nose, flipped it back into the air, and caught it again in her mouth. Rarity applauded.

The twist really changed the story. Up to that point, I'd have called it very show-like. It's a good twist and a good ending for a certain type of story, but I haven't gotten over the jarring from suddenly jumping from one type of story into a very different type of story. I can't think of a way to make the two halves of this story fit together comfortably. The warm fuzzies that the first half built up in me were disturbed by the second half. This may be more my fault than the story's fault, or may go away with time as the story sits with me. But I think a lot of people would also find that transition unpleasant.

11166031
That's an interesting criticism and I don't disagree. Maybe I didn't do quite enough from the beginning to establish the tone I was planning to end on? I tried to make Pinkie a little more uncanny than usual, in ways that differ slightly from the show. Canon Pinkie is so weird anyway. She thinks we don't remember that time she started counting something on her hooves and briefly had more than four hooves, but I didn't forget.
It's been a while, but it's also possible that I was hoping the Dark tag would put readers on their guard. Maybe I was hoping you'd all be waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Chalcedony is based on some things Tabitha St. Germain has said in interviews and her old blog, and I can't imagine Rarity not loving Tabitha, so there we are. Tabitha treats fashion as purely a vehicle for self-expression and self-mythologization, whereas Rarity also enjoys the cultural aspect and of course making things for others, but I don't see Rarity hating that other perspective.

11166618
I saw the tags, but I did not observe them. :ajsleepy:

This isn’t the first story where Pinkie is a friendly eldritch thing but it is very well done.

Howdy, hi~!

Okay, I liked this. It's almost a dark comedy in execution and I loved the little hints sprinkled throughout that foreshadow the rather crazy reveal at the end. I do think that some more hints could be used throughout to really tie in the ending better because there is a slight disconnect between the two halves of the story, but honestly, for a macabre slice of life, this was a really fun read. Pinkie's and Rarity's banter are the best parts and really sell the concept well.

Also, helps that this just kind of hits my type of humour. Weirdly dark, darkly weird, somewhat nonsensical, with a witty dialogue between two fun characters.

Thanks for the read~!

This is a weird romance between them. But hey, I ship it!

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