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The Box holding the block

While reading one of the famous Daring Do novels at the library Rainbow Dash notices a strange figure outside the window. Little does she know that theres more to come from this strange object.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 8 )

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01019928383

01019928383 #1 · Aug 25th, 2012 · · · The not so friendly meeting ·

WOW, never cliffhanger your first chap. And this was very rushed, needs more describing words, and more... plot. Very rushed and short. Check your spelling.

Just some advice, you know a bunch of ppl will post hate comments if u don't fix it all now.... you'll thank me later, for warning you

- Sage, a helpful writer to those in need. glad to have been of service.

Br2nd66

Br2nd66 #2 · Aug 25th, 2012 · · · The not so friendly meeting ·

yeah she will be encased in coblestone lol

legoman2852

legoman2852 #3 · Aug 25th, 2012 · · · The not so friendly meeting ·

Decnt enough story but like Sage said, never ever cliff hang your first chapter. and the grammar errors nearly killed me. Other than that, pretty decent story needs more description though...