• Member Since 15th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 14th, 2018

Wumz


T

How far can one run from the end? How much pain can a pony take before she gives up?

If everypony she knows is gone, how will she survive the land that was once Equestria?

And what happened?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 15 )

Sad but I kinda liked it and also first!!:derpytongue2: you have written this nicely

That picture......

Anyway, Looks like a decent read, if any of the thumbs up or the comment above are an indication it should be a decent read.

I am only commenting about this before I read because I myself am doing a story (Though its on hiatus at the moment) about Rainbow Dash, and it has a similar plot according to what your Description says, I look forward to reading it. I had added it to my read later list and I shall post a comment about it once it read it. :twilightsmile:

1147963 Why thank you, and that was supposed to be my spot :raritydespair:.

1148224 Ok, good luck with your story!

One word, my friend:
Yes.
This was very good. I myself am afraid to write something sad, simply because I don't think I can stir the kinds of feels you stirred in me here.
I love it.

Hmmm.....I'm a bit confused, not saying I did not enjoy it because I did and it was very impressive, dark...just the way I love it....other then the few spelling and grammer errors this was seriously really good. I like this story, I'll be awaiting for more of of other stories my friend, just wish I knew what had happened at the end.`

1153127 Honestly, I'm the last person you want to ask for that bro :rainbowlaugh: and that makes sense, I can agree with that.

Very good. The ending is massively open to interpretation, which is something I both love and hate. Was Dash just dreaming? Was she dead? Was everything she went through a stage she had to go through before going to some sort of afterlife? Are any of these guesses close? I have no idea.

Also, one typo that stuck out to me - you said 'eye site' instead of 'eye sight'.

1155285 Thank you for pointing that out,and glad you enjoyed.

As for the ending, I won't spoil it for anyone. I seemed to have interpreted it differently then everyone else, but alas, I made it like this on purpose.

This was an interesting little read. Could use a bit more fleshing out to really hit home, but it was a nice, short and sweet mind bender. It receives a thumbs up from me. :pinkiesmile:

Just got a couple of minor nitpicks that I'd like to point out:

After it’s defeat, it targeted to leader of the elements.

You mean "its", since this is meant to be possessive.

Nothing would of, could of, been the same.

You mean "would have" and "could have."

...that one thing in her day she looked forward too.

You want "to" in this case.

Rainbow turned around, her expression unreadable, as she faced the pink mare that was once her friend.

You probably didn't want the comma after "unreadable".

She sighed, emotionless.

Emotionless would be an adjective, you were probably looking for an adverb. Add "ly" on the end of emotionless and you got yourself an adverb.

“It’s alright Dashie, we’re going home.” She said.

You probably intended for this to be one sentence.

And you also have spaces in front of random paragraphs. Not sure if that was done with the intention to indent or accidentally, but either way, it sticks out to the eye. If you want to indent every separate block of writing, there's an indent feature built into the Fimfiction writer thingamabob.

1164597


...

:pinkiegasp:


Thanks, I'll get on those.

I write this in word, the copy and paste, so I'll fix the indents.

1164929

You're very welcome. :twilightsmile:

1165015 Seriously, your comment just improved my writing.

That Emotionless-ly thing, I wouldn't of gotten in a million years.

Thank you.

That was amazing. Very well done.

I liked it. good sory. good plot. I feel like it was almost real.

I like it but it's a shame it's only a short story, this could really turn into something much bigger :twilightsmile:

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