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Rainbow Dash: Pulling off feats that literally no one else would.
RD is the greatest pony. I'm positive. And so is she. Really positive.
Oh my. That was properly... electrifying. Not bad as smut goes and I laughed at the faces they made at the... special effects.
Great job, got a good laugh out of me. Could be interesting if this was part of the Continuum.
This is... magnificent.
Only Rainbow Dash could turn trying to have sex into lightning generation and have the kind of luck required to be doing it inside a Clocktower. I guess this does confirm her as the Bearer’s second definite non-virgin after Pinkie Pie. I wonder if the other girls know? It would kill Rarity to know that Rainbow Dash of all mares has more of a sex life than her, even if Rarity would never admit it...
I love the little mentions of Rainbow Dash’s power levels and the problems caused by her lack of control or patience, it’s the details like that which make the setting. As well as tickling a few long-held suspicions I’ve had about just how powerful Rainbow Dash truly is. And her instant response to the Stallion implying anything negative about Luna — well, how else would Loyalty react?
All in all, a great read. You got genuine chuckles out of me more than once, and I’m always happy to see Rainbow Dash get a little more spotlight.
Oh, and by the way? You’re also going to The Special Hell for the ball lightning pun. And yes, this is me saying this.
What happens next will shock you!
10240601 Naa, phrasing
Seven Reasons Not To Have Sex In a Clock Tower and Number Six Will Shock You!
Meanwhile, in the courtroom audience, Rainbow's friends are desperately trying not to laugh... whether out of mirth or despair of her ever learning anything is up for debate... and the smug grin on Discord's face means he's decided to hold this over her FOREVER...
Rainbow "Literal Dick Annihilator" Dash did nothing wrong. The fact that a continuous (Quick Charge rated!) 27 watts is conducting through your body should only add to the excitement. Experience what it's like to get trembles in your legs before you even climax. Sign up your genitals for an Asurion extended warranty because they qualify as an electronic accessory now. Get your E-fuck on with this E-girl. Try out that crazy "belly-riding" bondage position but without even using any straps, only electrostatic attraction.
That was... something, all right.
I can't ever imagine RD without a nice booty. Maybe because I've had bad experiences with that...
I'm certain she'll try - and manage! - to replicate Ball Lightning latter, in a mission when the need's most dire. Now, how long after that it'll take for the girls not to giggle while seeing it, for that I'd give quite some more time. Possibly millennia.
Poor stallion, he's NEVER forgetting that. Ever.
She might be mortified NOW, and the girls will not gonna let her live it down for some time, but how many can claim they can cause property damage by masturbating?
So, it's NOT just the CMC, it's more common than that
Perfect example of the Sunk Cost Fallacy
She probably could have taken a few days off work & built a -ING house from scratch faster than that.
oh, i just remembered a slightly shocking (no pun intended) story where a stupid man tried to masturbate using a vacuum cleaner...
that had the fan in FRONT.
OUCH.
First up, ball lightning is amazing. (Reddit link. Not mine.) Freaking gorgeous. I can see how Rainbow would be impressed by that.
Secondly, it has been several hours since this was posted, and no one has made a crack about how the poor stallion’s lightning rod failed to discharge. Yes, I deserve all the downvotes I get.
Oh, dear. :D
(I've had quite a laugh on this side of the screen, though. :D)
10240658
And they all start with "Rainbow Dash .."
Is anypony watching where that judge has his hooves under that robe? I think he's abusing his position here.
Heh, it was funny and hot so double props to you.
Helpful tip: using a couple of alternate terms for the word "horny" here and there rather than just the same term would help the smoothness of the story flow I think. Give it that Estee elegance we're used to.
Oh lord, when AJ and Snowflake get around to it there's gonna be an earthquake isn't there?
Through the stomach,
ZukoRainbow, not the heart.Speaking as a codebase bug hunter, I feel her pain.
I'm not sure what I have more questions about, how Fluttershy got that record or why somepony recorded it in the first place.
Huh. That may be a new entry for the local atlas.
Note to self for D&D campaigns: Races with innate electricity resistance don't notice static shocks (excepting Virgil Hawkins.)
Given that this was a pony-run establishment, any hope of her discharging on the doorknob was stymied by there not being one.
Oh dear...
Oh dear...
And a wave of dread swept over a specific portion of the multiverse.
Amazing origin for the ersatz Bearers. That one just keeps rippling out, doesn't it?
Hilarious confluence of variably fortunate events. At least ponies don't have any consumer electronics beyond wonders. EMP-ing a police station was bad enough without them. Thank you for some delightful madness.
Why can’t we have more good clop like this?! 😭
10241323
(Warning: semi-NSFW link ahead. Reptile sex may only be explicit in the eye of the beholder, but you don't want that eye belonging to your boss.)
She has a recording of it because she's a naturalist, and that recording was made because it is one of the stupidest sounds you will ever hear.
Yes, that is a tortoise vocalizing.
Yes, they can do that.
Yes, they probably shouldn't.
Thinking about it, this is the SECOND story that mentions Rainbow masturbating
- MLP: FiM
- Slice of Life
Rainbow's first days in Ponyville left a real impression on the town. (Some of the impact craters still haven't been filled in.)and none of the others have been mentioned even once.
Coincidence? I THINK NOT!
10241334
And here I thought you were going for a David Attenborough narrated clip. Equally NSFW video, but much funnier with a highbrow, British narrator.
On a more serious note, I hope you choose to write more comedic sexual farce in the future.
The Equestrian equivalent of OSHA must be working overtime to update their regulations on a
yearlymonthlyweekly basis."Your proposed building does not meet safety standards."
"But... but nopony would ever do tha—"
"There is ample documented evidence that, yes, yes, somepony totally would. As a result, any officially sanctioned structure within two hundred miles of Rainbow Dash's residence must adhere to these guidelines."
Guys, I think I finally see what's going on here.
Estee is slowly creating the Pony Sex Justice League.
First we had Doorfucker, with the power to open any lock (with sex).
Now we have Ec-Static, with the power to control lightning (with sex).
Presumably next will be an overeager young stallion with the power to do things super-fast (with sex) although he swears that's never happened to him before and usually he lasts much longer.
Personally? I'm holding out to see Sex-Hulk-Pony. Should be entertaining.
Brilliant, as always, Estee! Many thanks.
The real question is, did this lead to the weathervane incident?
I want a sequel
Amazing
10240532 Or COULD!
10241518
???
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10242080
So, a quick trip to Wikipedia to see the entry on weather vanes...
Literally the opening words on the article. Emphasis mine.
So, Twilight is looking over her shoulder with come hither bedroom-eyes and carrying a weather vane...
It looks like somepony fell asleep in sex-ed and woke up during meteorology. She is going to have a very confused discussion with her partner during their first time...
(What’s with ponies drifting off during sex-ed? First the CMC, now Rainbow... During my school years sex=ed was the one class that had the students undivided attention.)
It makes me wonder just how long until they get a few official minders for Rainbow Dash? Somepony who can tell her this is a bad idea and why she shouldn’t do it.
10243496
"An' that's why we've got even less cider fer the public than last year"
10243496
Look, there's already six of them. They have to sleep sometime.
10243774
Well, if. Nothing else her legend just grew. Poor Stallion though.
Given that we now know Rainbow Dash enjoys a little bit of casual La-Di-Da, and that she's got no objections to Earth Pony Stallions... it does make me wonder if there was ever a point where she tried hitting on Big Macintosh, not knowing the reasons why it was never going to happen. And if, subsequent to that, there was a conversation where Applejack had to lay it down to the other Bearers that he was off-limits.
I like to imagine that conversation would have been hilarious.
10244421
While RD seems to appreciate a good listener, she also seems to be the type to appreciate someone who will talk back. About her, hopefully, but still.
I think she'd sense his complete lack of interest and be turned off by that.
10241334
I will never be able to read anything about Tank with a straight face again.
The interesting thing about Rainbow Dash is that she reminds me of Red Green's definition of negative courage: proceeding on a course of action despite a lack of intellect, humility or awareness. It's not smart or correct but it's one of the things that makes her what she is.
10242080
I think they're referring to Hard Reset, there's a running joke in it about sex involving a weathervane, but there's never any details given.
They're not hot flashes. They're power surges.
Writer who speciaises in things going wrong + pony who prefers action to thinking things through = ready-made recipe for disater. But this one in particular transcends expectations...
(Also, just the fact that people are still writing novel-quality stuff for the show a year after it ended is a plus. Although given that for most Estee purposes it ended in 2013, perhaps not so surprising.)