A Shadow of Your Former Self

by anonbecause1

Chapter 4

Sombra was studying the directions the hotel gave him like it was a math problem. What in Tartarus do these three circles on the left represent? He kept looking a them and back up at his surroundings until he saw a cart store with a three-circle sigil, was that it? If it was, then the restaurant was supposed to be… There! Sombra stepped into the road without thinking about it and was yanked back onto the sidewalk with a bright orange magic field. He felt disoriented for a minute as he heard the angry taxi cart drivers yell at him for being in the road to begin with. He shook himself both physically and mentally before looking up at the light-yellow stallion with an orange mane who saved him. “Are you alright? You could have gotten yourself flattened.” Sombra took his offered hoof more out of politeness then actually needing the support to stand up.

“Yes. Thank you very much, I’m very sorry for the trouble. I’m from a small town and we never have to look before stepping into the road.” The stallion looked at him with understanding and gave him a farewell head nod before beginning to wander back into his own business.

“Uh wait.” Sombra didn’t really expect the colt to stop but he actually turned back to him. “I should thank you for saving me from being seriously maimed my first time in the big city. I’m on my way to a dinner date but can I buy you breakfast as thanks?” The stallion looked at him with suspicion so Sombra smiled as innocently as he could.

“I have a husband.”

“What? Oh, no, no, no, I like mares… I think. I’m just,” Sombra struggled to find words for an adequate motive, “trying to make friends?” He winced at the end out of awkwardness and waited for judgment. The stallion examined him for a long time before smiling, Sombra sighed in relief.

“I have breakfast with my husband most days at the Checkered Stirrup about 7am. Come or don’t.” He began to walk away before stopping and adding as an afterthought, “Names Ledger Cross.”

“Sombra.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sombra arrived at the ‘Catmandoo’ restaurant he had been trying to get to before being almost flattened. At least he got a local contact out of it. The greatest sources of information were ponies closest to the source, if he was going to live here, he needed unbiased information about tedious stuff like how much are apples? Or where is the best neighborhood to live in? He didn’t expect Cherry to want to stay here very long, his hotel room was on the company dime and she already got what she wanted from the trip.

Sombra looked around the restaurant until he spotted the four cats he had met at the hotel. “Clawson, Ally, Tom, and Jerry, good to see you again.”

“Hey! The pony who likes fish!” The dark blue cat named Jerry greeted as his light purple companion, Ally, leaned closer to him and loudly stage whispered “Sombra,” to correct him.

“Right, Sombra, pull up a chair! We got a surprise for you.” Sombra placed his chair at the end of the table closest to the exit. He wondered if there would ever come a time when he trusted someone.

Tom, the cat with dark brown fur sitting closest to him, handed him an open menu and pointed to a colorful spread on the featured page. It was a buffet that was brought to your table. Different types of meat presented on skewers to sample. It was very expensive. Sombra winced and put the menu down and brought up his bit bag while doing a mental calculation. Even if his breakfast guests ordered conservatively, he didn’t have enough for both meals. His disappointment must have shown on his face because Ally spoke up.

“Our trading venture turned out a decent profit so we’re celebrating tonight. Just give us five bits for the parking pass and we’ll call it even.”

Sombra waved his hooves in front of his face, ”That’s not necessary. I’ll just order a side dish.”

“Hey buddy, little bit of advice, don’t deny Ally what she wants. The lady wants to buy you dinner let her buy you dinner. No guarantee you’ll like any of this stuff anyway.” Tom reasoned while sipping a glass of wine like he owned the world. Sombra could appreciate that attitude and it was getting him a very low-cost meal so he put his bits away.

“I’ll have to find a way to thank you some day.”

“Hah,” Jerry laughed as he came up from, by the looks of it, his third glass of cider. “You’re our entertainment for tonight buddy. Ponies typically take one look a meat and chuck their hay, I wanna see how long it takes for you to make a break for the toilet!” Jerry ended his comforting speech with an obscenely loud belch. Ally looked at her companion in disgust and switched her glass of water with Jerry’s cider.

“So, what brings you to Manehattan Sombra?” Clawson asked, apparently trying to interject some meaningful interaction into this dinner. Sombra considered lying for a moment for absolutely no reason what so ever before burying it deep down with his other odd, and unnecessary, impulses.

“Same as you all. Grunt work for my boss as she networks around town. Likely to go home tomorrow evening. I hope to get a job here and move to town, if you know of anything, please inform me.”

Clawson rolled his eyes, “Uh, why does everypony and their mom want to live here? It’s so cramped and expensive.”

“Just because you hate crowds doesn’t mean everyone does.” Tom added before flagging down a waiter. “We’ll have the skewer dinner for 5 please. Fish, pig, and… chicken?” Tom looked around the table to see if everyone was ok with the variety. Everyone nodded but the gryphon looked at Sombra a moment longer to see if he was going to order anything different. When he didn’t, she left.

Jerry leaned back and reluctantly sipped Ally’s water. “Back home there are more varieties of meat. I’m looking forward to a few months of RNR before getting back to sea.”

“Where is home for you all? I haven’t seen much of Equestria but I don’t think there are many cats.” All of his hosts looked at him offended; fuck, what did he do now?

“We’re not ‘cats,’ cats are dumb pets. We’re sphinx.”

Sombra blinked in surprise, “There are pet cats?”

They all looked at each other like they were trying to decide if he was serious. Finally, Tom asked one of the questions on their minds. “How do you know about cats but not that they’re pets?”

Sombra fiddled with his water grass while trying to think of something to say. He didn’t want to offend them; they were paying for his food. Should he be honest? Would they believe him? Better to be kicked out now then later.

“I had an accident a while ago. Brain damage. I can’t remember anything about where I came from or who I am. Sometimes factual information comes but what comes and what doesn’t… It’s a grab bag of chance. I looked at you all at the hotel and thought ‘cats on two legs’ but the ‘how’ I knew that is… not clear.”

“Is that why your horn if so fucked up?” Jerry asked and received immediate retribution from Ally as she elbowed him in the gut. Sombra self-consciously touched his horn; it was longer, sharper, a different color then his coat, and didn’t have a spiral pattern like every other unicorn he’s seen. Lots of ponies stared at it but it was less embarrassing then his lack of cutie mark. He wished he had the bits to see a doctor.

“I can’t remember the incident so I don’t know but it’s a safe bet. I only remember waking up in a strange place and being afraid enough to run as far and as fast as I could.” A bit of a white lie but not entirely false.

“I’m so sorry,” Ally said while reaching for his hoof to comfort him.

“Didn’t mean to dredge up bad memories bud.” Jerry apologized. Clawson and Tom looked like they were processing the information.

“What’s it like not having any memories? There are definitely a few things I wish I’d forget.” Ally smiled trying to lighten the mood and satisfy her own curiosity. Sombra thought about it, honestly it was difficult because he didn’t have very many life experiences in the grand scheme of things to compare it to.

“… I would rather have bad memories then no memories. I feel like a colt all the time, lost, always afraid on some level. You never know what’s a threat so you are always on edge; coming up with contingency strategies constantly. I thought of four just to get out of this restaurant; it’s not that I don’t trust you it’s just standard everywhere I go. I’m also constantly worried about running into ponies from my old life; I don’t think I was well liked.”

“Why not?”

“Don’t you want to get back to your family and friends? They must be worried about you.”

“What did the hospital and police say about all this? I’ve never personally known anyone with legitimate amnesia but from the books I’ve read say the police usually try to find next of kin.”

“I, uh…” Sombra nervously shifted his eyes from one face to the next. Lie or tell the truth? He still wasn’t completely convinced he could trust them. Questions out of concern could just as easily be probing him for information to see if he would be missed. They could tie him up and toss him on a slave ship or kill him without guilt to take what little bits he had. “They um, said they don’t have any records of me. So at least I was never arrested. I don’t know if my memories will come back and no one has claimed me as a family member yet.”

‘Fuck Sombra, just lie from the get-go and make up some backstory. Why can I never keep my mouth shut about myself? At least I didn’t tell them about being too poor to see a doctor or too afraid to talk to the police. They might have an APV out for an evil king.’

“Oh look! The food is here. Wow that was fast. I can’t wait to try everything they have. Say, I’ve been hogging the conversation here. Why don’t you tell me more about your trade deal; you said it went well.” Sombra chugged his water but ended up inhaling some and choked. His companions only spared a passing interest in the food skewers being presented to them. It was obvious they were just waiting for the staff to be gone so they could interrogate him more. Once everyone had the amount and types of meat they wanted on their plate their attention turned back to Sombra who was shoving large amounts of meat in his mouth to have an excuse not to answer any question they may ask him.

Tom, Ally, and Jerry looked to Clawson for guidance in this situation and he returned their look with a ‘why me’ one in return. Ally gestured to the distressed unicorn while Jerry shrugged helplessly. Tom, per usual, acted like he was too cool to be a part of this situation. The Bastard. Clawson sighed and rubbed his face, all he wanted was some food and different dinner guest then the idiots he has been forced to share a ship with for months on end. Well, Sombra was different, carful what you wish for. “Sombra. I’ll drop that entire conversation and start over if you just tell me one thing, and be honest about it: Are you ok? Like, are you relatively safe and can deal with the situation you’re in? if not, my duty of care may involve me insisting you find resources that can help you through this. I want to do that now but I’ll respect whatever privacy you need. We’re just strangers but I can’t watch someone spiral.”

This was the fourth time Sombra had been shocked by someone’s kindness. It made him wonder why he was so distrustful when he was shown over and over again how everyone he met was like this. Sombra tried to come up with a response for such a thoughtful question. In the grand scheme of things, he was not ok. He had suffered a severe accident and had received no medical treatment. He hadn’t even tried to find out about his past because he didn’t think he would like what he found. Not to mention he was broke at a dead-end job. He didn’t want to burden complete strangers with that.

However, Clawson’s question did get him thinking about his situation more critically. He needed a plan, a real plan, with goals and steps and resources. For now, Sombra smiled at them all with legitimate hope in his eyes. “Not yet Clawson. But I know I will be.”

Comments

[AstralFlare42]

Sombra looked around the restaurant until he spotted the four cats he had met at the hotel. “Clawson, Ally, Tom, and Jerry, good to see you again.”

Tom and Jerry. Have you seen that cartoon, or did you just not notice that you made a reference.

[StubobNumbers]

10241477
I'd imagine the reference would have to be intentional.

[Ice Star]

It’s good to see Sombra making some friends! And such unusual ones, too. I’m still hoping that there will be some hints of his past of way to reconcile the pre-amnesia Sombra and this one. Poor dude needs some closure, world-building potential aside.

[Late_Night]

y'know
for having the m6 tagged as characters, they sure aren't fucking showing up at all