• Member Since 29th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

manta999


6 Months after the series finale was a hell of a time to start writing fanfics

Comments ( 10 )

Some good, old fashioned fun. Incorrigible Granny Smith egging them on was unexpected but welcome.

Great story. Not enough Applejack love, especially for her applebucking thighs and Applebottom. Love how you did Thunderlane. He’s a good guy and looking out for his little brother, really makes him likable. Also loved the ending line, I thought it was very sweet. Butt I might be bi-assed ;)

Ever heard of a sex warrior?

You definitely have a talent dude. In both of your stories; the setup felt natural (never once did I think 'how/why are they even in this situation to begin with?'), the dialog & humor was similarly normal & well paced, and the sexy bits manged to be detailed but not excessive. All I can say is 'trust your instincts', because they are gold.

10301652
Thanks! I guarantee the next story will have a SUPER contrived setup, though.

Nicely written.

The pacing could use some work, perhaps. I'm not sure: while the setup is solid, it felt as if it dragged on a little bit. Perhaps it could work a little better if some sort of conflict was in place.

Well paced, good buildup, nice bit of comedy and positivity, characters were well written and the payoff was good and wholesome. I usually don't go for anthro, but I'm happy I made the exception.

10316613
>Perhaps it could work a little better if some sort of conflict was in place.

I agree. In the fics I'm working on now I'm trying to find a way to at least have some kind of tension, as I think that's kind of necessary. Kind of hard to work into a porn plot, though.

This was a cute and sweet chapter I hope there's a sequel of them.

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