Zecoroota

by Kodiologist

Two Heads Are Better Than One

Zecora's day began at a fair clip when she received a scroll from Mage Meadowbrook a few minutes after dawn. Apparently, a huge avalanche on Mount Aris had flattened part of Hippogriffia, and medical supplies were running short, so could Zecora whip up a few batches of the most back-ordered medications, and send them out with the mid-day mail? Zecora didn't usually fill batch orders, but she supposed she ought to do what she could in a time of crisis. She spent the next few hours hurriedly pouring, measuring, boiling, and labeling, and while she was waiting on the cauldron, she ran into the woods to collect more plunderseed anthers and moulted cockatrice scales. Around noon, the pressure began to get to her and she figured she had better take a minute to breathe and have a spot of tea. There was a knock on the door.

"Please, mailpony, hold steady." said Zecora, going to the door. "My potions aren't yet ready."

But the visitor proved to be a different neurotic pony with wings, the Princess of Friendship and freshly crowned monarch of Equestria, Twilight Sparkle. From Twilight's unhinged look and the stray bits of mane stuck out at weird angles, she seemed to be taking to the job with just as much serenity as expected. "Zecora!" said Twilight, her wings perking up. "It's great to see you again."

"I am glad to see Ponyville's old princess of books." said Zecora. "But you're not here for a social call, judging by your looks."

"Oooh, Zecora, that rhyme… kind of hurt." said Twilight. "Are you okay? You look a little… run-down. Is this a bad time?"

"I am actually very busy." said Zecora, stirring the cauldron as she added a dash of dried breezie phlegm. "That's why I'm in such a tizzy."

"Maybe I should go, then." said Twilight. "It's just… I have a little tiny huge enormous problem over in Canterlot. I gave the go-ahead for some badly needed reforms at Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns and now there's a rash of magical accidents throughout the city, some of which can't actually be related to the reforms—I mean, I'm pretty sure—but some of them probably are, and the papers seem really eager to stick it all on the school, and on me." She kneaded her cheeks with her hooves. "So… I guess that's it," Twilight pressed as Zecora began rooting around in a nearby trunk for more empty measuring flasks. "I'll be trying to put out those dozen-odd fires all on my own. Never mind the other ones that'll no doubt multiply like parasprites while I'm bogged down giving useless press statements to the Canterlot Tribune crew. You know, it's a terrible feeling to let other ponies down when they need you the most. Divvies up your insides, pulls you apart…"

Zecora's groan of resignation reverberated from the depths of the flaskless trunk. She poked her head back out. "You claim that friendship is your trade, yet leverage guilt to earn my aid. The day is short, its troubles many, and talking doesn't solve them any. If you need advice or wisdom, you can stay and I could give some. Be direct, is all I ask. At present, I must find a flask."

Hoping the weak compromise would be enough to pacify her guest's entreaties, the zebra straightened up and looked around her cluttered cottage, completely at a loss of what to do with herself. She was normally so organized, but this morning had turned into a frenzied exercise in seeing how quickly she could exhaust her home of carefully stocked resources. Apparently the answer was "quick enough to run out just before Twilight Sparkle shows up". Speaking of whom, Twilight was still lingering in the doorway.

"A flask?" Twilight echoed. "I know I said I'm nervous to face the reporters, but getting me tipsy isn't going to help. I'd rather be clearheaded and tongue-tied than soused and motormouthed."

Zecora gave the princess an exhausted, heavy-lidded look.

"Oh. You mean a measuring…" Twilight bit her lip in embarrassment. "Um… would st-standard size suffice?" A nearly imperceptible puff of magic conjured an Erlenmeyer flask onto the floor between the two of them. Sighing in relief, Zecora nodded and gingerly picked up the prize between her teeth. Then she motioned Twilight to follow her over to the still simmering cauldron.

"I know you said earlier that talking won't solve any of the magical mishaps happening all around Canterlot," said Twilight, "and yes, I agree. But I'm confident I can solve all of those on my own. It'd probably only take twenty-two minutes. An hour tops, and that's if I took breaks throughout. No, what I really wanted your help with was those after-the-fact press statements. Celestia used to handle those, and really well, too, but it'll be my job now, and I can't talk to crowds, especially when I'm under pressure. So I thought about how you speak in verse all the time and I've never seen you ever get flust—well, until today I've never seen you get flustered."

Zecora stopped whisking her cauldron's contents just long enough to wipe some beads of sweat off her muzzle and smile reassuringly at Twilight. "How one feels and how one fronts can be two different things at once."

"See?" said Twilight. "You can rattle pithy sayings off the coronet like it's nothing. That's why I was going to ask you to stand by my side while I face down the reporters. Maybe take the mike on a few of the harder questions while I stand by like the buffoon that I am, but if you really are occupi—Uh, your project is boiling over."

Zecora snorted in alarm and snapped back to her cauldron, blowing on the froth and cursing her inability to multitask. This was the reduced-strength batch she was working on (meant for foals and infants) and it was absolutely not one she could afford to spoil. Children being in distress was one of the few things that could make Zecora outwardly upset. Not that she'd ever admit this to anypony, but never having foals of her own was something of a life regret.

A new voice, one that spoke in a cheery Southern drawl, piped up from outside the cottage. "Zecora? Are you home? I smell smoke, so I sure hope you are…"

Think of the distressed children and they shall appear, it seems. "Come in, little Apple Bloom." said Zecora. "But careful, there is little room."

Apple Bloom entered through the open door and carefully picked her way around the glassware and boxes strewn about the floor. Her bow looked a bit wilted, which was never a good sign. "Howdy, Princess! Uh… I hope you ain't too busy. Miss Cherliee gave us some math homework that's really hard and Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle are out of town. It's due tomorrow and I'm tearin' my bows out over it."

"I'd love to help you, Apple Bloom." said Twilight. "Unfortunately, I'm trying to handle a little catastrophe myself right now."

Apple Bloom looked at her hooves. "Um, I was askin' Zecora."

"Perhaps there's something I can do," said Zecora, pouring some of a mixture that had just finished cooling into vials, "soon as I'm finished with this roux."

"You're making a sauce?" said Twilight. "I… sort of assumed this was about something more… uh… dire?"

"A potion can have many parts." said Zecora. "Progress comes by fits and starts. A rock slide has left hippogriffs in need of aid, and now I must see what medicines can be made." She frowned at Mage Meadowbrook's list. Among the things she could provide, perhaps the most puzzling inclusion was the ol' Freaky-Friday special. She had used it to good effect not long ago on Fluttershy and her pet rabbit, but was this the kind of healing that the hippogriffs needed right now? Well, she knew better than to second-guess a legendary physician trying to manage a crisis. And she'd already made that draught half an hour ago, so she could check it off the list.

"So.. were you still going to give me some advice?" Twilight prodded. "You know, before I head off to Canterlot. You're good at that. Giving parting words of advice, I mean."

"I could come back later." Apple Bloom said with more than a hint of pleading in her voice. "We don't need to go through every problem. Just a hint or two? Please?"

Zecora shut her aching eyes. Helpless hippogriffs at Mount Aris. Helpless horses in her living room. The regretful zebra couldn't be everywhere at once; she was just one mare. One mare who needed a sip of neglected tea to give her some strength. Not wanting light to exacerbate her headache, she kept her eyes firmly closed as she groped around for a teacup she knew was nearby. Her hoof found something off to her left and she took a quick swig from it.

Mm. That didn't taste like tea.

Zecora felt an intense dissociation. Where was she? Who was she? What were these strange zebras doing in her house, where were their stripes, and what was that goofy nonsense language they were babbling in?

There was a deafening unzipping sound followed by an eldritch flash. Then there stood before Twilight and Apple Bloom not one Zecora, but two Zecoroota. Their coats and manes were devoid of stripes. One Zecora had a pale-gray coat and a pure-white mane. The other was dark all over.

"Huh. I was wonderin' if you were white with black stripes, or black with white stripes." Apple Bloom said flatly. "But, somehow, this is just more confusin'."

"Zecora!" said Twilight. "Are you okay? Actually, which of you is Zecora?"

"'Zecora' is the name of she you see." said the white one. "I think you can be sure it's truly me."

"Sure I'm Zecora." said the black one.

Apple Bloom backed up slowly, while Twilight glared at the black creature. "So finish your rhyme, then." the Princess ordered.

"No." said the black Zecora, or "Becora" for short. "That's silly. Look, both of you badly need my help. Let's skip the poetry and get to business."

"But why are there two of you?" said Apple Bloom.

"I took a drink that wasn't tea," said the white Zecora, or rather, Wecora, "incurring an effect on me. A start, a seize, and then release. I'm rendered now a hapless piece."

"I followed that about as far as the word 'tea'." said Apple Bloom.

"Never mind." said Becora. "It's too complicated for a filly like you to understand. The point is, there's enough of me now. You and I will go do your homework and… this…" she went on, gesturing hesitantly at Wecora, "can give that speech for Twilight."

"Wait, we're really just rolling with this?" Twilight asked cautiously. "I mean, it really is fortunate that there's two of you now, but it seems a tad extreme. There are more mundane ways to get more hooves on deck than accidentally splitting yourself. Maybe Pinkie could cover things here. Apparently, she's gotten into potion-making lately, saying her last batch was 'good as hell', whatever that means. I think Tree Hugger was involved. At any rate, I wouldn't want to—"

"I brought you a letter!" said a familiar voice, and there was the mailmare outside.

"Don't get an inch closer!" Becora yelped, her mind filled with visions of a stray flap of Derpy's wings against a beaker setting off a chain reaction of explosions and bringing down the whole hut.

Derpy's eyes strayed slightly further apart as she cogitated on this. "Okay, I'll get a foot closer." She stepped up to the door, but didn't enter, and Becora breathed a little easier. Derpy dropped an envelope on the welcome mat and waited to be given the outgoing mail.

Wecora held up a pale hoof so it obscured one of Derpy's eyes from her field of view. Then she moved it to obscure the mailmare's other eye. "Separate views of separate views, as seen by ones who now are twos."

"Blah, blah, deliver these, too." said Becora, shoving a basket of finished poultices towards the door. Apple Bloom and Twilight helped pack what was ready and load it into Derpy's saddlebags while Wecora stood off to the side. "I'd deliver these myself," said Becora, "but other ponies need me right now. Be fast, but don't drop anything this time." She slapped Derpy on the plot. "Now git!" Derpy whinnied and took off like a gray bolt.

Comments

[publiq]

How did you pick Zecoroota as the plural of Zecora? This question is what I get for never studying Latin or Greek.

[Kodiologist]

10235376
According to some random web pages with no citations, "zecora" is Oromo for "zebra", and "-oota" is a plural suffix in Oromo. So, "zecoroota" might be the word for "zebras".

[Nitro Indigo]

I started reading Twilight’s dialogue as if it was in verse.

This feels like it could be an episode of the show.